Thank You: I wish to thank everybody that reviewed my story or added it to there favorite list. It is very much appreciated! I hope this chapter is to your satisfaction.

Beta: I got a beta people! With her help this chapter is the best chapter grammar wise in this entire story. Give it up to Sesshomaru's Dokkaso! Without her help there probably would have been grammar and spelling mistakes galore!

Warnings: This story is not for anyone who is not a teenager! There is a good amount of swearing and some weird perverted humor. Don't like it then don't read it!

Strange Magic

Chapter 11: The Guide

By yllom21

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Harry Potter. I'm afraid my name is not stated in the credits.

It was a normal night. The moon was shinning, the stars were twinkling and everyone was sleeping in their beds. Or so it seemed, for hiding under the darkness of the night sat a fuming young demon Lord and a wounded Projected Guardian.

"Was that really necessary, your lordship?" said Guardian questioned with a whimper, his hands protecting the part of his body no male wanted to be injured. Despite the fact that he was 1,000s of years old, could defeat armies with no serious trouble at all and was taller than a giant, he had the same weaknesses as every male. And Inuyasha, being Inuyasha, had to use it to his advantage.

"What are you smoking?" said lord snorted with disdain, "Must be some real fucked up weed! One minute you're congratulating me on talents I don't have nor will I ever receive and the next you're insulting the few talents I do have! Besides, you are so fucking tall with all that dragon shit you eat; I had to hit you somewhere!"

"But did you have to hit me there, your lordship? Any other place would have sufficed!" He pointed his fingers at his legs and feet, showing exactly where Inuyasha could have hit him instead. "Unless you're smitten with me, in which case, I have to say you're so pretty I'd never say no,"

Inuyasha almost fainted. "Fucking pervert!"

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Harry could feel his face glow.

The gang had gone to bed as soon as they registered the fact that they would sneak into the Hospital Wing sometime tomorrow to research the reason why Inuyasha was in said wing. If he was raped, which all of them had silently agreed was a good possibility, then they would have to figure out how Inuyasha had escaped. Running from dozens of powerful wizards was difficult enough, but running away from them when your ass had been violated? Even Inuyasha wouldn't have been able to manage it. So how had he escaped the Death Eaters' clutches?

But then there was also the possibility that he hadn't been raped or hadn't been injured because of the deadly Patterson Massacre. But then why was he granted a several day ticket to the Hospital Wing? Only the files would know for sure.

But at the moment that wasn't the reason for why Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived and the Gryffindor with a hero complex, was blushing a deep scarlet. He wasn't even sure why, or what he was thinking, but the only thing he could picture was the body of a white-haired, fox-eared, yellow-eyed beauty. Who was undeniably a male.

Harry's face flushed again.

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The highly annoyed demon-in-disguise sighed.

Why in the lands of hell was the world full of perverts? His ass had been violated enough, thank you very much, yet they kept coming back to haunt him! And at this rate he was never going to find the Sacred Text!

"Shut the fucking hell up!" Inuyasha growled up to the Projected Guardian who was nursing another bruise. "At this rate I'll be here arguing with you till the Sickle Moon! Then snake-face will bomb the school, kill your perverted self, steal that crapped-on book and destroy the entire world while laughing that evil laugh that all evil dark lords seem to have! And it'll be your entire fucking fault because you can't keep your perverted comments in your shit-filled brain!"

The Projected Guardian had the decency to shut up.

"Just tell me where the text is, will ya? And how to get there as well. It'll be nice if you would tell me of the traps, too. Then I'll come back here and grace you with my presence as I add my Demon Magic to your defense system," the brunette said as he sighed and raked his fingers through his silky hair. "Then, hopefully, I'll get to relax while someone else does some ass-kicking for once! Why the hell am I always shoved with the responsibility of saving people's hairy asses? I hate this fucked up world!"

The Projected Guardian nodded in a sympathetic manner

"Now don't go on pretending you hate the world, your lordship," the being started. "After all, you end up saving the world more than once!" he smirked down at the kimono-clad child, payback for the multiple bruises he now possessed.

"Save the world, again?" Inuyasha howled in agony. "No way, boring! I saved it once, didn't I? And didn't I already tell you how fucking boring it is to be saving it again! I quit! I don't get paid enough for this torture. In fact, I don't get paid at all! What the shit!"

Inuyasha continued to ramble on for quite some time.

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If anyone caught sight of the current Potter, they would have wondered if he was seriously ill.

Granted Harry was no naïve little boy and he knew that dreaming of a male, especially a pretty one, was bad when said person was a male. Granted Harry had nothing against people that where gay, he hated prejudice people, but he didn't want any more complications. He was already the fucking boy-who-lived! He was not up to having wet dreams as well.

And the worst part was that said person wasn't a human, nor was this a normal wet dream. Didn't normal wet dreams involve sex of some sort? He wasn't touching the white-haired being, nor did said being notice him. Instead he was bathing, his long, wet hair sticking to his back and his ears twitching slightly. His eyes were perfectly shaped and his body, for what he could see (most of it was in the water) was well sculpted.

But the weirdest part was the fact that the picture was distorted, almost like his subconscious was struggling to remember something.

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Inuyasha, the Projected Guardian noted, could talk without breathing for quite a remarkable amount of time.

"Then I was stuck to some god damn tree!" Inuyasha rambled on, somehow connecting the fact that he was stuck saving the world yet again with the fact that he had been trapped in an enchanted sleep for fifty years. "I spent more time dozing than I did living. And being stuck to a tree leaves you with horrible cramps. And who knows how many people crapped on my feet while I was out!"

The Projected Guardian decided that he did not want to listen to any more of Inuyasha's vulgarities.

"The library," he stated quite bluntly, stopping Inuyasha from continuing his conversation on perverted monks. "That's where the Sacred Text is," he pointed in the direction of the school, deciding it was nigh time that Inuyasha actually did something.

"That's nice," Inuyasha nodded submissively. "So where in the freaking lands of hell is this fucked up library?"

The Projected Guardian nursed his eardrums.

"It's in the school, naturally," the Guardian stated. "And the guide will show you the way. But you can make it to the school by yourself, right your lordship?" he gazed at a shocked Inuyasha who looked insulted by the fact that the Guardian doubted his navigation skills. He was a superb tracker, even Kagome had said so.

"Of course I can make it to the school by myself! I saved the world once, didn't I?" Inuyasha snorted. "I'm not going to trip on my kimono and fall off a cliff or something,"

The Projected Guardian muttered something among the lines of, "I wouldn't be surprised."

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Ron stared at Harry in shock.

He had been having a nice dream, one where he had been decked with a silk robe sitting in the Ministers office with a pretty blonde girl serving him tea, only to be woken up by a large banging noise, which he soon identified as Harry striking his head against the bed in an aggravated manner.

"Err, mate?" Ron piped up, not sure if this was one of those times that it would be best if he ignored everything that was taking place. Harry wasn't banging his head in a way that was bad for his mental health for no reason at all. "Are you okay?" he added when he noticed that he wasn't going to be attacked by one of Harry's terrible jinxes.

Ron was shocked to see that Harry's face was a bright scarlet.

"I'm fine," he muttered, although he refused to look Ron in the face. "Just a bit embarrassed, that's all," he didn't expand on the subject and the redhead was lost on the fact that he didn't know why Harry was embarrassed. Everybody else was still asleep.

"Harry," Ron questioned, a confused look marking his face, "Are you bonkers?" He was still shocked over the fact that his best friend was blushing a bright scarlet. Harry wasn't one that blushed on a normal day basis.

"Maybe I am!" Harry snorted in a manner that shocked Ron.

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Inuyasha stared up at the building.

Like all fine examples of architecture, it seemed larger and even more impressive up close. The ridges in the wall were more noticeable at this distance and it was easier to note the fact that the wall was composed of brick. But at the moment Inuyasha didn't really care about the length of the bricks or the color of the stone, he was finally going to get that fucked up text and hightail it out of there.

It was about fucking time!

Unfortunately enough, when he had been rushing to escape the confinements of the Projected Guardian he had failed to question who this so-called guide was. In fact, and Inuyasha wouldn't have been surprised, there could have been no guide and the Projected Guardian had just said so to get him out of his vine-covered, fucked up hair.

However, before the demon-in-disguise could successfully blow up a tower, a being rushed to him in such a massive amount of speed. Inuyasha swore a marathon as he was blown away.

"Hiya, I'm the guide to the Australian school of Magic!" a voice piped up as Inuyasha unsuccessfully attempted to remove the large clump of sand from his small mouth. "If you want to go to the kitchen, follow me! They make the best fish sandwiches! Which reminds me, did you know that there are different types of fish? There's salmon and there's bass and there's tuna!"

Inuyasha bashed his head against the sand, his mouth still full of the far from tasty dirt.

"I don't want to go to the kitchens," he managed to spit out, trying to find the source of the annoying on-going voice. But before he could start to swear, a being jumped in front of him with an impossibly large amount of energy.

"You don't want to go to the kitchens!" the voice continued, although now it was obvious that it belonged to the girl in front of him. She seemed to be a ghost as she was transparent; although how a ghost could refute into him or jump around seemed to question his hypothesis.

"What about the dorms?" said voice continued before Inuyasha could state exactly where he wanted to be guided to. "They have the softest beds, not that I've ever slept on one. And the couches are comfy, not that I ever sat on one. And once… I saw a naked boy!" She squealed at this last part, looking as though her fantasy had come true. "And he was sooooooo cute!"

Inuyasha decided to ignore the last comment.

"I want to go to the library," Inuyasha stated, attempting to shut her up as she rambled on about the color of said dude's hair. Inuyasha wouldn't have been surprised the slightest had said boy ran away from the school howling in fear. This girl was annoying, and she hadn't even glanced at him yet! She must have scared the boy shitless.

"The library?" she questioned, blinking at him as she wondered exactly who wanted to go to the library at this time of night. However before Inuyasha could restate his query, she squealed loud enough to wake the dead and kill them yet again. "You are soooooo cute!" She pointed at the brunette in a way that caused Inuyasha to mentally dig his grave. "You want to go out some time?"

Inuyasha fainted.

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Ron decided that if Harry wasn't going to tell him why he was blushing such a deep maroon, then he'd just force it out of him.

"Was it a dream sent from you-know-who?" the redhead guessed, not that terribly off which was surprising considering Ron's lack of intelligence compared to that of Hermione's. However, although it had been a dream, Harry was pretty sure Voldemort didn't sneak up on innocent, white-haired boys. Unless, of course, he was a closet pervert.

Harry turned, if possible, an even darker red.

"Is that a yes?" Ron questioned as he tried to hide a yawn. In his experience it usually meant yes, but what dream could Voldemort possibly send that would cause Harry to blush? Most things thought up by the dark lord led to spontaneous tears and blood.

"What dream did he send?" Ron questioned, deciding that even if Voldemort hadn't sent a dream it didn't mean that a dream wasn't the cause of Harry's current out-of-character mood.

"Dream?" Harry questioned with a blink, suddenly crashing back into reality. His face, which had previously been a blood-red, became an interesting purple color as he finally gazed upon Ron's red-haired, freckled-covered face before he shrieked, "Voldemort's a closet pervert!"

Ron blanched.

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Inuyasha's head hurt.

Honestly, what was it with him fainting lately? Not that he fainted, mind you. Only pretty ladies who had never seen the outside world fainted. Inuyasha merely lost conscious because he was in the middle of saving the universe. Kicking major ass was more difficult than it was proclaimed on T.V.

But honestly, this was the second time in the last few days that he had fainted, or more correctly, lost conscious, and it was starting to piss him off.

"Hey, guide lady!" Inuyasha yelled when he finally awoke, surprised by the closeness of the ghost to his body. The fact that she had a crush on him didn't make him feel even the slightest degree better. "Stop staring at me before I rip out your retinas!"

Inuyasha decided not to mention the fact that because she was a ghost (or was a projected being at least) he couldn't harm her. But threatening someone for unimportant things always made the brunette feel better in the long run.

"I wasn't staring!" the lady managed to spit out in a massive amount of shock. "Who would stare at you? Oh no, cutie! I was checking you out, just like the rest of the world! Aren't you used to it by now?" Inuyasha decided that answering her question was not relevant to the fact that he needed to go to the library.

"Just show me to library." Inuyasha waved her off as he made sure his kimono covered as much skin as possible. "Or is that below your intelligence level?" He glanced at her with a raised eyebrow, a pretend look of confusion etched across his face. He knew she knew where the library was, she was a guide after all, he just wanted her to get angry and hopefully storm away from him.

"Below my intelligence level?" the being repeated in a questioning manner, her eyes closed in thought, "I… don't… think… so. Get back to me on that one, alright?"

Inuyasha blanched.

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"A closet pervert? You-know-who?" Ron questioned silently wondering what Harry was smoking and where his stash was so he could have some too. "Are you feeling okay?"

Harry's face reddened in embarrassment.

"Don't look at me that way!" he snapped at Ron, obviously not up to an intelligent conversation. It was way too early in the morning for one thing, and for some odd reason he was feeling uncomfortably hot. And for some equally odd reason he couldn't get the lean chest and perfectly sculpted face of the dog-eared boy out of his head.

"Maybe we should go get Hermione?" Ron questioned as he squirmed in an uncomfortable way. Out of the two of them, Harry argued the least with his peers. However, when he was pissed, he erupted much like a volcano and Ron knew he needed some friendly support to make sure he lasted the night in one undamaged piece.

And Hermione had a large mouth when she wanted to.

"Hermione?" Harry squeaked out. His purple face was beginning to turn green and Ron wondered exactly how many colors Harry's face could turn before he lost consciousness, he was aiming for two.

"Yeah, Hermione Granger, remember her? Our best friend, best witch of the year and overall the best bitch-slapper I know." For some odd reason Harry didn't look comforted at the last statement. "Although how we'll get up to her dormitory is another manner. What the hell is up with those stairs? I mean, this is an emergency!"

Harry absently wondered how Ron would react in a real emergency.

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After the guide realized that she was well aware of the current location of the library, they headed out to the library in a hopefully dignified manner.

"So why do you want to go to the library?" the guide piped up as soon as they started there long trek to who-knows-where. "It's late at night and most people don't like going to the library period! Once I dragged this really ugly bitch there and she screamed all the way!" The transparent sighed in a happy manner. "Those where the good old days!"

Inuyasha decided to comment despite the fact that the minimal part of his brain that was used for thought process disagreed.

"If you want to torture someone," Inuyasha began in a demonic way. "Going to the library is not the way to do so! Some people actually go there in their free time for fun!" The brunette looked distantly ruffled at the last comment. "The best way to torture someone is to lock them in a room with a pmsing bitch! Have you ever seen them when they're ass-bleeding? It's like dragon shit. It's scary!"

The guide looked like Christmas had come early.

"Ohhhh, why hadn't I thought of that?" she whispered in such a way that clearly stated that she was disappointed in herself. "Mary Shit-face here I come!" With an arm raised in a happy manner, she ran off without even saying goodbye to the demon-in-disguise.

"Wait, rewind a second! What about me?"

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Harry's face was now an unknown shade of orange.

"This really isn't necessary, Ron!" Harry shouted out to the redhead who was currently half-out of the dormitory window. Said redhead had come up with a brilliant plan that included a Chocolate Frog, a bit of rope and the Marauder's Map. How Ron had come up with a particular plan that included those few items, Harry wasn't sure, he was just happy that he forced Ron to agree that the Invisibility Cloak would only make the current situation worse, not better.

"Course its necessary!" Ron called back as his face turned an ugly shade of scarlet which clashed with his red hair horribly. He was looking at the ground in an odd way and Harry hoped that such a look would only help him in forcing him to go to bed and leave this plan alone. He wasn't sure he was up to telling Ron about the nude and drop-dead gorgeous non-human dude, maybe in a century or two, but most certainly not now.

Ron just forcefully shook his head and took a large bite out of the chocolate frog.

"The girls' dormitories are that way!" Ron pointed in a random direction, not that it helped Harry much for he couldn't see Ron's currently outstretched hand. Pulling himself farther out of the large and noticeably grand window, he began to wobble towards where he believed the girls' dormitories were, hanging on by a thread. Waving his hands towards Harry, he slipped and fell off the edge.

"Ron!" Harry shouted in disbelief as the redhead fell. "You dumbass!"

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Inuyasha stared at the wall.

Why in the lands of hell did that freak of a guide abandon him in the middle of nowhere? Granted she was annoying and she was not that wonderful of a guide, but at least she knew what floor they where currently on and the current coordinates of the library in the Australian school of magic.

And why did the one time he actually wanted some fucked up talking crap around there was none in current sight?

Inuyasha decided to head towards the foyer, important stuff like the Great Hall and the library was usually located around said room. Even if it wasn't, he could always abandon the school and ask the Guardian where the location of the school library was, although he really didn't want to see the Guardian until he had the Text in his hands.

The Guardian would laugh his hairy ass off otherwise.

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Harry sighed as he pulled Ron back into the room.

In a large mass of panic Harry had just managed to use the 'Wingardium Leviosa' charm on Ron to make sure he didn't land on the ground and loose the few brain cells he had left. Now, hopefully, Ron would forget this crazy plan that consisted of sneaking into the girls' dormitories through the window. Besides it being life-threatening, there were probably wards on the windows that stopped anyone from entering said room.

But, naturally, Ron didn't think of that.

"Let's go to bed, Ron," Harry muttered as he relished the fact that his skin was now its natural pale complexion. The white-haired being was still on the top of his mind, but because he was so tired, he would most likely be able to sleep without thinking of the mythical being. He was so happy there were no classes tomorrow, although there was flying practice.

"Remember, we have practice tomorrow, you wanna be half-asleep while you get pummeled by bludgers?"

Ron's eyes widened in shock and Harry hopefully reminisced about his bed.

"Flying!" Ron gasped in shock as he ran towards his trunk which held his broom. "Why didn't I think of that? We can fly into Hermione's room!" Grinning mischievously, Ron pulled out his broom in triumph and hurried over to the window, waiting for the brunette to grab his broom and fly with him into Hermione's room.

It was too bad Harry's eyes where transfixed on Ron's broom instead of searching through his trunk for his own.

"Ron is that made of maple?" the emerald-eyed teenager questioned as he gazed at the broom. For some reason maple stirred something in his memory. Before he could remember why he was transfixed with maple, a distorted image popped into his head much like how the golden-eyed being had first appeared.

The image consisted of a horde of ugly looking men fascinated on something out of sight and they were surrounded by maple trees.

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Inuyasha gazed at the room in shock.

After almost burning up the charms room, stealing an apple from the kitchens, taking a pit stop at the bathroom and spending hours searching the wrong floor he had finally managed to find the library.

It was about fucking time.

The door was regal looking and made up of pine and elm. Carved at the top was the simple word 'library.' It was attached to the foyer like he had previously suspected, and to his anger it wasn't that far off from where the guide had left him; he had just trekked in the wrong direction. But now, finally, he could get the text, ward the castle and save the school.

Hopefully he wouldn't have to save the world as well.

I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter! I think I did a good job on Inuyasha's humor, although the part with Harry and Ron didn't come out the way I planned it. Do you guys remember the dream Harry had a few chapters ago? If you don't all you need to know is that Harry is beginning to remember it.

Please leave reviews folks!