Gay Pirates
~This water is too salty for me to even drink~
Fury nearly did a spit-take. Every single fucking drink he tried this morning had a shit ton of salt in it. When he had commed Coulson to find the culprit, he found out that he was dealing with the same situation. Coincidence? Fury didn't think so.
~Yo ho Sebastian, let's go far away~
The next day, Fury found a ticket on his desk. For a cruise. What the fuck? Calling Coulson into his office, he read over the ticket. It was for a themed cruise. Coulson strode in, a ticket like Fury's on top of bundles of packages. Inside said packages were pirate costumes. Fury slammed his fist on the desk.
~Well I'm sick of being beaten~
Fury was determined to catch the pranksters. After enduring a week of pirate jokes, he was done. The final straw was playing the song Gay Pirates over the entire Helecarrier comm system. He was so angry that his face had turned red. It was quite the sight to see. After setting up even more cameras all over the Helecarrier and linking them to his computer, he felt satisfied. There was no way the jokesters could get around this much security. Fury's computer beeped, bringing a grin to his face. Caught them.
"Dammit Tony! I told you to watch the agents!" "Sorry Legolas, but one of them was a babe! Did you see his ass?" "No, not that I'd want to. I'm straight and have a girlfriend." "Ooh, good cover!"
Fury sighed. Should've known it'd be Barton and Stark. The two were thick as thieves. "Well look what the cat dragged in."
Both men went silent. Then Tony spoke up. "Find the Pirate Booty yet?" Coulson walked in, right on cue. "Both our offices are covered in Pirate Booty, sir." Fury gave into the impulse at long last. He facepalmed. Tony and Clint burst out laughing.
They weren't laughing so hard when they were stuck under house arrest for six weeks.
/
Song is Gay Pirates by Cosmo Jarvis
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