A/N. Yanking up the rating because of John's smoothness...and because Sherlock really needs advice in specific topics...
11. Don't overuse the hurt card.
I know Molly is used to fixing your injuries –she said she was your "first-aid kit" during the years when you were playing dead- or in general just fixing you, but remember that this is not a Nightingale role play. You may be the one suffering the physical pain, but she is also sustaining a different kind of pain every time she has to patch you up.
Seeing someone you love get hurt can inflict that kind of pain.
She cares for you Sherlock, so no matter how much you relish the pampering or the physical contact, always keep in mind that with every cut that she has to bandage or with every bone that she has to set, she feels as much, if not more than the pain that you physically feel.
Besides, insisting that she attend to your injuries when I, a doctor who had been with you from the moment you received the bruises hours before, is standing just two feet away from you is both silly and obvious.
However, please keep in mind that I have no complaints whatsoever if you ever need any help in sustaining a bruise or two.
12. No matter what your intentions are, stalking is creepy, so please stop.
Although she dismissed it as "her silliness" she told me yesterday that sometimes she feels like she's being watched. No matter how many times you say that it is for "surveillance", what you are really doing is "stalking" and following her ten feet away and docking in corners while wearing a moustache is what stalkers do and it is clearly making her uncomfortable.
If you are really worried about her safety, you can just escort her home. It will do you more good because you can spend more time with her and get enclosed in a tiny, albeit sometimes smelly, space with as much privacy as a cab can give. Plus, you might even get invited to her flat - not that you ever needed an invitation because I know you break in her house, something that you should stop doing as well.
Besides, you are never shy when it comes to hacking Mycroft's CCTV database so I guess you can always monitor her travels from your laptop.
Speaking of Mycroft, please tell him that a black car is not as conspicuous as he thinks it is so he can either make it go away, or offer Molly a ride.
13. Breaking in her house is done by thieves, not potential boyfriends.
Unless there is a valid reason- and by valid I mean you think she is in danger and not simply because you were bored or you just really wanted to see her- breaking and entering into her flat is a criminal offense.
I know that you are used to coming and going to her flat when you were "dead", but you have been alive for a year now. From Molly's point of view, you don't have any reason to keep coming back to her flat and she told me that the only reason she allows you to keep picking her locks is because she knows that you are a man of habit. I think that she is under the impression that you will go into either a catatonic state or hyperventilate like a spoiled brat if she banishes you from her flat.
Be thankful that she is very considerate of you, but don't try and stretch it too far because if there is one thing that you should really be good at in a relationship, that is learning what "personal space" is.
Learn to respect her privacy and personal space, and I am pretty sure that soon you will know how private and how personal a space can get.
14. The empty slide you are staring at has a bigger chance of being taken back to her flat than you, if you continue to make her take an overtime.
St. Bart's lab is designed for experiments that involve beakers with chemicals and slides that have cultures or cross sections. Not the kind of experiment that involves sitting in front of a microscope, pretending to look busy when in truth you mounted an empty slide and is only using the vantage point to stare at the pathologist who you guilt-tripped into staying past her work time simply because you still can't work up the nerve to ask her out on a date.
If it helps (or not), Molly actually knows that sometimes you are only staring at an empty slide and you don't really need her help in any experiment and therefore knows that she does not really need to stay. I think it shows a lot about her wonderful character that she stays despite knowing the truth but that does not mean you should continue keeping her after hours in the lab.
Be grateful (or not, again) that she does not suspect something else entirely with regards to your "experiment" ploy.
If you can't build enough confidence to say "Please go out on a date with me" –a seemingly misplaced behavior from a man who had the audacity to tell the Prime minister that the scent of his after shave is costing the country lots of economic deals – at least let her go home and rest rather than making her suffer so that you can ogle her from afar.
Yes, what you are doing qualifies as ogling.
15. When I said learn the art of the birds and the bees, I was being indelicate.
I thought it would be helpful for you since I think you need some guidance in that area.
Clearly, you really need guidance.
The Perfumed Garden.
Kama Sutra.
Not beekeeping.
Although I suppose you can utilize the honey somehow…