Summary: When Reno is off duty their is nothing more he like doing better than going out and having fun, but recently he's noticed something strange, someone's watching him, following him, someone who envies him. They don't realise though that Reno isn't exactly as carefree and happy as he appears and in the end it may be that they end up helping him instead of the other way round (confusing I Know but it will make sense eventually.)

Disclaimers: I do not own FFVII or any of the characters in this story.

Warning: In this chapter there is rather bad language, reference to alcohol, talk of harassment and some extreme sappiness.

This is the first fan fiction I have posted for a long long time and I have no proof reader so I will say sorry now for any mistakes. The characters personalities etc my seem a bit off, I have just based them around how I see them after playing the game and watching the movie etc. I will try to update as much as possible, it just depends on how many university projects I have on the go.

Setting: A couple of years after Advent children

Yet again, I apologize for how very very very long this story has taken me to update. I'm blaming it this time on crazy amounts of uni work, an extremely bad relationship with alcohol, a man who distracted me way to much (in a good way though mwahaha) and also super mega writers block hehe.

Yet again, thank you to the people that have reviewed and to anyone out there that has took time to read this story.

Anyway on with the show…..

Chapter 4- Bury me

Hot, sunny days never did inspire Reno that much, but today the clear blue skies and unimaginable hot sun seemed determined to downright taunt him.

After the previous days events he had been held overnight. The room he had been placed in wasn't quite a cell but neither did it contain anything that could be classed as home comforts. Not that any of this concerned him at this particular moment in time.

He had not slept a wink since he had woken up after blacking out. The red head had been confused to find him self in such a strange place to begin with, but then he had remembered what had happened. He was shocked more than anything, shocked that he had behaved in such a way. Never before had he felt so separated from reality, it was far beyond disturbing.

Now that his mind was firmly connected with the world around him again, it felt like it had just been a terrible nightmare. It was a comforting thought, but he would not let himself become lost in it, he would have to face up to the consequences soon, of that he was sure.

So there he sat, on an uncomfortable mattress, looking out the small window ahead of him. He watched as night turned to day, he listened to the sounds off the waking city, and he waited.

888

In another part of the building Rude sat staring out of a window, witnessing the birth of a new day . Usually at this time Reno and Elena would also be there in the office, but this morning he was alone. He had not seen either of them since yesterday. So he was left to recall over and over, what he had seen when he finally made it up to the top floor off the warehouse . Elena was lay in a puddle of a blood with a shaking Reno slumped over her. Their target was slumped against the far wall, a bullet hole in the centre of his forehead, a distraught young boy was shaking him, whaling. Despite his shock at the scene that had greeted him, he had stayed calm and called for backup. Elena was far beyond any medical treatment he could administer and Reno, well Reno had just been an empty shell.

Looking up at the clock, he frowned. In another hour Reno would be sat in Rufus' office, hearing his fate, and Rude had a sinking feeling that he wouldn't be seeing the red head again for a long time.

888

The sound of a bolt being slid across a door, and the creaking off hinges woke Reno from his thoughtless daze. He lazily looked up towards the front of the room. "Reno, Rufus wishes to speak with you." Tseng stood in the open doorway.

The red head had expected them to just get some low class guards to haul him up to the bosses office, so he was suprised to see they had sent Tseng. Maybe they expected him to go loopy again, he laughed to himself as he slowly stood up. "Lead the way." With a grim smirk on his face he followed the other Turk out of the small room.

As they headed down the corridor Reno tried not to think about what lay ahead of him. Like I care. He stared daggers into Tseng's back. I don't need them, or any of this. He desperately tried to convince himself but failed. Letting out a heavy sigh he cast his gaze to the floor. Who I'm I kidding, what would I be if I wasn't a Turk?

"Nothing" He answered himself, his voice barely above a whisper. Tseng heard though and was just about to turn and question the younger Turk, but they had already reached Rufus' office. Besides, Tseng knew there was little point in asking questions now, because once they walked through the double doors in front of them all Reno's answers would be irrelevent, since his fate had already been decided.

888

Rufus sat behind his large desk, with his face in his hands. He was not in the greatest moods, you see it wasn't everyday that one of his most reliable men decided to get in touch with their unbalanced side.

He had maybe expected Elena to crack sooner or later, after all lately she had been taking on a lot of extra responsibility recently.

It had not been Elena that had failed him though, maybe he should have had more faith in her. Not that it mattered anymore, now she lay in a hospital bed being kept alive by machines.

He sat up and focused his attention on the folder lying on his desk, Reno's folder. An unpleasant frown marred his handsome features as he reached and flipped it open.

He was greeted by a picture of the one who had 'failed him', flame red hair, piercing green eyes, mischievous grin and all the rest. The young president of Shinra let out a sad sigh as his fingers ghosted over the photo.

"Why Reno?" He questioned the air around him, his voice barely above a whisper. Just then he heard voices outside his office. Looking at the doors and then back at the photo, he allowed himself one last melancholy look at the snap shot of the red head. "I'm so sorry."

The intercom in his office buzzed, and his secretary announced the presence of Tseng and Reno. "Let them in." He responded in a flat emotionless voice, hoping the expression on his faced matched it.

888

Reno stood in front of Rufus' grand desk, he kept his eyes trained on the carpet. When he had first entered the presidents office he had made the mistake of making eye contact with him. Reno had quickly tore his gaze away, not liking the look he was on the receiving end of. It had been something between hurt, anger and disappointed, and had been so intense that it made the hairs on the back of Reno's neck stand up.

"Reno I'm sure I don't have to explain you why you're here." Rufus spoke looking up at the red head, wishing he would look back.

"Yes sir." Reno spoke clearly, but still kept his eyes down. That was until Rufus let out an uncharacteristic sigh, and before Reno could stop himself he had looked up and was soon locked within Rufus' gaze.

After finally gaining the attention of those intense green eyes Rufus was not going to let go. "I don't want to have to go into the details, so I'll get straight to the point." Before going on, Rufus made a silent pray for forgiveness.

"Your actions, whether they were under your control or not…"

Please forgive me Reno

"…jeopardised the mission, and therefore put the restoration of Shinra at risk…"

You have to understand I don't have a choice, if I did I'd be helping you…

"…I can not allow this to happen again."

…not letting you go.

"With this in mind, I have no choice but to suspend you until further notice."

I'm sorry.

"This decision is effective immediately. Once you leave you must not try to contact us. If we need you, we shall contact you. Nor may you have any interaction of any kind with anyone involved in or connected to Shinra during the duration of your suspension."

Reno very nearly passed out, he hadn't realised that he had been holding his breath throughout Rufus' judgment and sentencing. Finally catching his breath, he began to process what had been said. He blinked a few times in disbelieve. He had expected severe disciplinary action, maybe demotion, but not this.

To have all his ties with Shinra cut, was like being stranded out at sea without a lifejacket, or chance of rescue.

Before he could stop himself Reno had began to speak.

"But sir, you can't be serious?!"

Rufus looked away from the devastated man before him, but spoke firmly. "You are dismissed."

"You can't sir. It won't happen again…" Reno protested hopelessly, while striding forward and leaning heavily on Rufus' desk "Discipline me, demote me, God I'll even clean bird shit of the windows for the rest of my life, just don't do this." The red head was begging now, like his life depended on it.

"Tseng, escort him out." Rufus ordered.

Before Reno knew it, Tseng had a hold of his shoulders and was dragging him towards the doors. In a last ditch attempt he tried to appeal with the man before him.

"Rufus please, Rufus don't do this…" He stopped in shock as the man in question looked up and stared at him with sad eyes. Reno blinked in shock, and just before he was dragged out of the room, he was sure he saw Rufus mouth the words 'I'm sorry'. Then the doors were slammed shut and Reno knew he would probably never see Rufus again.

888

Some hours later, Reno was back at his drab, dirty apartment. He stood leaning against the railings of the apartments small balcony, blank eyes stared out over the darkening city. A glass containing a very generous measure of whisky was grasped in his hand, a nearly empty bottle sat by his feet.

"So that's it, its over just like that." He talked quietly to himself and then downed the contents of his glass. He knew in his heart, that suspension from Shinra lasted till your dying day. "All because of some stupid memory…" His words betrayed his true emotions though, and inside his mind he heard the haunting, previously long forgotten sound of his mother screaming in terror and pain.

"They'll never trust me now. He'll never trust me ever again." Pausing, he remembered Rufus' silent parting words. "Yeh, I'm sorry too."

Pouring himself another drink, he succeeded in emptying the bottle. "Well that's it, no life, no friends, no purpose." He sadly thought about how he would never be able to speak to Rude again, one of the only people in the world who seemed bothered if he woke up in the morning, who cheered him up when things went wrong, who looked out for him.

He downed his drink yet again. "Well I guess there is nothing else to do then." He laughed bitterly as he turned and walked into his apartment. Once in his bedroom he showered, and changed into some tight jeans and a figure hugging white shirt. Checking himself out in the mirror, he smirked. He looked good and he knew it. What Reno also knew was, that there was no better way to forget, than getting absolutely wasted.

Grabbing his keys and wallet on the way, he headed out of his apartment, slamming the door behind him and smiling. He did so, because he knew in a few hours he would not give a damn about Shinra, about his past, or about Rufus and Rude. In fact, he would not care about anything, the only thing that would matter would be that night- the music, the drink and most of all letting go and forgetting who he was.

888

Reno was scared to open his eyes, as he didn't quite remember when he had actually closed them and gone to sleep in the first place. He wanted to believe that even though he had been brain splitting drunk last night, that he had still managed to stumble back to his apartment and crawl into his own bed.

Sadly as his mind woke up more and more, he found himself not able to believe that this was the case.

First thing that he could tell without opening his eyes, was that the bed he had woken up in, and the covers he had slept under were not his. The bedding smelled far to clean and fresh for one, and the mattress was far more squishy than his own.

It was actually quite comfortable, and he was rather tempted just to forget all his worries and fall back into a hangover free, deep sleep. He stopped himself as he started to drift off though, and instead finally opened his eyes.

He shifted up slightly, peered over the duvet and scanned the room around him. It took a while for his usually sharp eyes to adjust to the dimly lit surroundings, but eventually he could see well enough, not that there was much to see.

The room was neutrally decorated with whites and creams, and sparsely filled with only the necessary pieces of furniture. It was clean and cold, well except for the bed Reno thought as he slowly felt sleep begin to drift over him again, as he settled into the warm, cosy sheets…

"Shit." He nearly shouted, but managed a strangled whispered instead as he sprang upwards into a sitting position. Thoughts started rushing into his head at record pace.

I've woke up in a strange bed, in a strange room and I got so drunk last night that I can't remember a thing. Oh crap what the fuck did I do, actually no wait - who the fuck did I do? Great, well what top way to end an already fantastic week. First I end up fucking up my job and practically ruining my life, while nearly getting a friend killed, and now I've gone and jumped into bed with a perfect stranger, who for all I know could be a total psychotic. He brought a hand to his forehead in desperation, and shut his eyes as he tried to remember anything about the pervious night. Oh bloody hell Reno, you usually have control over your self . For all I know she could be… His stopped dead in his tracks and opened his eyes to look around the room again. If this was a girls bedroom then he had never met a girl with such masculine tastes. Okay not she, most probably he.

He gulped nervously, as a few memories came rushing back to him.

He had been drunk, very drunk, and had stupidly excepted a drink of a rather hot looking guy. Next thing he knew he was not just very drunk, he was uncontrollable, he was not just being a shameless flirt, he had been all over the guy, bending to his every whim and fancy. "And Then.." He whispered apprehensively to himself and tried to remember what had followed next, but found he failed. It was a blank, he could not recall anything more.

He sighed heavily, and put his head in his hands. What I'm I suppose to do now? He questioned no one but himself, and was just considering locating his clothes and making a run for it when the bedroom door opened.

"Hey your finally awake? I would say good morning but since its 3pm…" Reno blinked in shock as he heard the voice, it was a voice that was very familiar.

He looked up and soon had his suspicions confirmed as he saw who stood in the doorway "Cloud?" He questioned stupidly. After the word had escaped his lips his thoughts caught up. Cloud, wait Cloud Strife. I spent the night with…He dare not even finish his questioning off silently as he slowly felt his face become very hot.

Meanwhile Cloud had walked further into the room "Hey Reno, are you okay?"

The blond sat on the edge of the bed slightly concerned for the red head, who had suddenly started looking very flushed.

"I…I" Reno was at a loss of what to say. If only he hadn't drunk so much, if only he could remember what had happened. His thoughts were interrupted yet again as he felt a light pressure on his forehead. He jumped back in shock looking up like a dear caught in the head lights.

Cloud moved back a bit , he had only placed his hand on the others forehead to see if he was burning up and hadn't expected such a jumpy reaction. "Your burning up." He sighed "I don't know what those bastards put in your drink last night, but whatever it was it was not pleasant."

Reno had not really been paying attention up until that point, instead he had been yet again wracking his brain, trying to remember the events of the previous night, and when and how he had ended up in 'self proclaimed delivery boy of the year' bed.

"What, who, my drink, when and who?" Reno was now confused more so, and his poor hung-over brain seemed to start spinning around like a merry go round.

Cloud blinked and peered at the red head in his bed , who currently seemed to be trying to hide under the duvet. "You mean you can't remember at all, can't remember those guys, the ones that were basically trying to sexually assault you in the middle of the club. The same guys you were trying to kick and punch, but you were so drunk they just laughed at you. The same guys I ended up beating up to bloody pulps, before dragging you here and then not sleeping nearly all night because I was worried about you dying on me or something!?" Clouds voice had slowly gotten louder and louder, and now he had finished he couldn't even work out himself were all that emotion had come from.

Meanwhile Reno had gone very pale and was staring at Cloud with wide, shocked, unblinking eyes. "I, I can't remember." Reno all off a sudden felt rather sick, and cowered down further under the duvet. Seeing this Cloud felt rather bad for him, he shouldn't have gone off ranting like that, fair enough Reno had been drunk, but it not like he had asked for his drink to be spiked by a complete asshole.

"I'm sorry, its just I was worried." He stood up and went over to the rooms only wardrobe and pulled some stuff out off it. Walking back over to the bed, he placed some clothes and a towel down upon it. "I'll tell you what, I'll go make us something to eat and why don't you grab a shower." Cloud spoke kindly and pointed to the bathroom door. "It will probably make you feel better." He stood there trying to decide whether to say what he really wanted to say. Taking a breath he continued. "And then maybe we could have a talk, I mean if you want to that is. Its just last night you mentioned some things, and well you know you seemed pretty messed up…" Cloud trailed off, his words were coming out all wrong and he realised that Reno had sat up and was looking at him. Cloud sighed, it wasn't the happy, smug look you usually found on the red heads face though, it was distant and sad.

"Thanks, I mean for…" Reno mumbled quietly but trailed off, unsure of how to express his gratitude. Grabbing the clothes and the towel he got out of bed, and cursed silently as his head began spinning. As he tried to walk he very nearly fell straight over, and Cloud was soon at his side supporting him, but Reno batted him away weakly. "Really I'll be fine." He then continued to stumble towards the bathroom. When the door finally shut and the locked clicked Cloud collapsed onto the bed. It was certainly going to be a long, interesting and difficult day.

Chapter number four done and dusted, I'm sorry it took me so long, uni work is putting a lot of pressure on me at the moment though, so the only time I get to write this is in the early hours of the morning when I can't sleep.

Okay so yet again there was no light relief in this chapter (oh dear its all doom and gloom), but at least Cloud made appearance.

And I know my characterisation of Rufus may seem a bit off, but I like to thing under that hard, cold, aloof exterior there is a bleeding heart (awwwwwww bless).

This fic could go in one of three ways at the moment, and I'm not sure which direction to pick (ekkk). In other words it could get better or it could get very very bad indeed hehe.

Well till next time…

Thanks for reading feel free to review.

Cheers Kitty (Aka Milly)