(5) Death's Sting

Remus pushed open the doors to the Entrance Hall & headed for the hospital wing. He was tired & out of sorts & still sore from his transformation. He had a large cut on one hand. He let the mighty door slam behind him. Remus had noticed a long time ago that Padfoot wasn't following him but after several minutes of calling for the damn Grim without any response, he had given up & headed for the hospital wing to wait for Sirius there. He was going to talk that man's ear off, one for letting his silly little crush go too far & two for disobeying his Alpha. Remus wondered if he shouldn't swap ranks around between Sirius, a Delta & James, the Omega. Yeah. Omega. Perfect place for Sirius until he learned his lesson. Remus huffed & barged into the hospital wing. He stopped short.

There stood Sirius, staring out the window. Not caring to understand how Sirius managed to get here first, Remus was about to launch into a lecture, but James stepped into his line of sight. James ... had been crying. Sirius came to stand behind him.

"What's going on?" Remus asked. "Where were you Prongs, last night? Where's Wormtail?"

At that, Sirius buried his face in both hands while James threw himself onto Remus & burst into a fresh wave of tears. "W-Wormtail's dead!"

Remus locked eyes with Sirius who turned away, shaking. "What?"

"He was stabbed & left in the lake," James went on. "Oh Merlin! He was still alive. Peter drowned."

"WHAT?" Remus pushed James away. "Where is he?"

"Remus!"

"Non (No)!" Remus glared through the glasses James was wearing. "I want to see him. Where is he?"

"Over here," Sirius led the way. He pulled back a curtain going around one bed. Someone was lying on it, fully covered with a sheet. Bloodstains oozed out from a long gash from the stomach to the chest.

With shaking hands, Remus pulled down the cover, revealing Peter's face. "Peter? Peter!" Remus stared in silence, then he let Moony take over & howled. Long. Mournful. Remus put his head down. With his good hand, he petted back a bit of Peter's brown bangs. He recoiled at the touch. Peter was cold. Just so, so cold! "... Wormtai l..." Remus turned away as James re-covered their fallen pack-mate. "I'm tired," Remus whispered. "So very tired." Fists clenched at either side, he stumbled backwards to an empty bed & lay down. James got into bed with Remus, taking up the left side. Sirius shoved the pair over a bit & slipped into the right side. After several moments of lying silent in the one bed, Remus asked. "Who?"

Sirius & James exchanged looks. Sirius shoved his bangs out of his face. "By your wand, Remus."

"What do you mean?"

"Your wand was found next to his body, a knife blade spell on it," James explained. "The blade was still there, stained with his blood."

"We don't think you did it," Sirius put in hastily. "No one does. You were with James, me & Snivelus when it happened."

"Non non non (No no no)!" Remus covered his face with both hands. Who the hell would try to frame him for this? Someone else in the school besides the Professors & Marauders, Lily & unfortunately Snape, must know what he was & was trying to get rid of him. "Hang on, that was yesterday. I dimly remember Snape, but my head nearly exploded with a migraine then."

"I was sent to my knees with that pain," James said.

"I felt it, too," Sirius put in. "So did Lily."

"Lily?" Remus echoed.

"Snivelus felt it as well, for some reason," Sirius went on. "He's still passed out. Something about trying a telepathic spell on Lily to lift her pain. It nearly killed him."

"If only it did," James muttered.

"It made us all pass out," Sirius went on. "We just started to come around now in the past hour but Snivelus is still out. Lily's just sleeping now. Over there." He pointed.

Remus checked on the redhead before asking, "I dimly remember that. The next thing I know, Moony has the dominance & I'm in the Shrieking Shack. Then only you showed up, Padfoot."

"No I didn't."

"Right ok, Sirius? I'm not going to argue with you," Remus retorted. "You're in enough trouble as it is so don't blow any smoke up my arse right now."

"Moony," James began. "Sirius was hit hard with that migraine thing. He was here all night. Madam Pomfrey can vouch for him."

"Uh Prongs?" Remus hissed softly. "Padfoot was with me. The WHOLE night! Okay? I remember what happened last night & I only remember full moons when at least one of the pack is with me. You weren't there. Neither was Wormtail. Now I know why, but Padfoot was."

"Oh yeah, you're right," Sirius suddenly agreed. "I was there for a bit. I ignored the headache to be with you."

"Merci (Thank you)," Remus replied flatly. Sirius swallowed, having a feeling he was going to regret covering for his older self running about.

"How in the name of Merlin did you manage that?" James asked incredulously, lying his glasses on the stand by the bed. "That migraine nearly killed us all. Padfoot, you should have rested."

"Well, that's what I'm doing now," Sirius burrowed down under the blankets & closed his eyes. James shook his head as he did the same. They both put their heads onto Remus's chest.

James cleared his throat two or three times. He suddenly sat up, swung his legs over. Face in hands, his whole body began shaking. Remus sat up & slid his arms around James's waist from behind. "He was lying there," James sobbed. "When we were coming out of our comas. We saw a bed blocked off by curtains & ... & then ..." He cleared his throat again. If only he could stop crying.

Sirius lay back, staring at the ceiling, listening to the pair cuddled together, sharing tears. "Madam Pomfrey came to each of us & told us that they had found Wormtail half in the lake. Dead. Stabbed & drowned." Sirius continued to stare at the ceiling. He knew Peter would die & he knew why. Try as he might, he could not rid himself of the horrible shadow of his future self. Azkaban? All because of Peter? It just didn't feel right. "Then Dumbledore said that your wand was found. James insisted you were with him, picking on Snivelus. Dumbledore then went to Snivelus & did some sort of spell on him, then walked away. Dumbledore said that he confirms what James & I said."

James heaved a sigh. "It must have been that telepathic spell he tried on MY girlfriend." He put his hands down over Remus's hands, holding on to the embrace. He could feel the back of his neck getting soaked & heard the faint canine-like whimpers in his ears. Moony was as devastated as his human host & the rest of the surviving pack.

Sirius sat up & scooted forward. He snuggled up to Remus's back. "Hey. Come here. It'll be ok." Remus sunk back into his arms & allowed Sirius to lie him back down. Sirius lay over him & rolled off onto the other side. He swung his legs high over the head of James & sat up beside him. He got off the bed & turned around. Not knowing what went on last night, he bent down & kissed Remus on the cheek then moved over & grabbed James by the shoulders, missing the odd look from the werewolf. He pushed James down, kissed his cheek as well & stood up. "I've got to finish something. You two rest. I'll be back later."

"Where are you going?" James asked. "Sirius? Wait!" Sirius didn't answer, only ran for the door & left. James sighed & curled up over Remus, putting one arm protectively around the Wolf pup. The two of them cried themselves to sleep.

Sirius held his wand in one hand & ran into the barns. Not seeing the old Padfoot curled up anywhere; Sirius plopped down into a pile of hay & took out the Map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!" The Map came alive at his command. Sirius spread it out. "Alright, where are you?" He saw his name in the barns & then began branching outwards. Another Sirius Black showed up under the long bridge. The dot wasn't moving. Turning it off, Sirius folded up the Map. He tucked it away under his robes & transformed.

The old Padfoot was curled up under the bridge. He raised his head. He scratched at the ground with one paw, whining softly. After that last migraine hit, he had felt weaker than ever. Running with Moony all night only worked by the adrenaline rush. Now with the high over, he felt almost dead. He put his head down & tried to sleep. Padfoot woke up slowly as something poked him. Opening his eyes, he noticed his vision was blurry but he could make out his younger self, standing in front of him, prodding him with his own wand. That wand! It had been taken away from him before the doors of Azkaban closed once & for all. He wondered what had ever happened to it. Did the Ministry break it? Or put it on a dusty shelf with a label 'Murderer' on it? Or throw it away?

Sirius stepped back from the old Padfoot a bit. Something was wrong. "Hey, come on. Wake up."

Strength gone, it was all he could do to lift his head. He transformed & sat curled up between two boulders under the supports. They were down in the gorge where no one could see them without the Map. "What?" He looked his younger—youthful—self over.

"You look really tired."

The old one shook his head a little. "I haven't felt well since that migraine."

"We all felt it," the boy said. "So did Lily. Snivelus performed some telepathic spell on her & got hit hard as well."

The old one closed his eyes & grunted. "At least he got hurt."

The boy laughed. "Hey, what's wrong with you? I don't plan on dying in my late twenties or so."

"I'm 33."

"I look much older," the boy stared at his old self. Only 33? Peter had to die. He had to! "Why'd you do it man?"

"Do what?"

"Kill Peter?"

"YOU KNOW WHY!"

"Surely there was another way?"

"None!"

"Moony & Prongs are heartbroken."

The old one stood up. "Boy, you don't know what you're saying."

"No you're the one who doesn't know!" Sirius shot back. "They haven't stopped crying since they knew about Peter."

The old Sirius buried his face in one hand. "You don't understand."

"MAKE ME!" Sirius screamed at him. When no answer came, he pushed on. "Why couldn't you just direct Peter to the truth? The whole point is to save James, Lily & a bunch of muggles. Why not save Peter as well?"

"Peter is a Dea—"

"MOONY & PRONGS ARE IN SO MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW!" The boy screamed back. "But you know the worst of it? I should be crying with them but I can't share their pain. I know the truth & I just can't feel the way they do. I hate this! I hate it so much! Peter was nothing but good to us."

Feeling another adrenaline rush, the old one used a burst of new energy to grab the boy. He threw him down between the boulders. He snatched the wand & held it in his younger face. "Now you listen to me. Peter is—was—a Death Eater. He would have turned on us all. Right now, Moony & Prongs still have the rest of the pack. Each other. You. They'll heal. The path my life took, they could not heal. Prongs & Lily were murdered. I got thrown into Azkaban for nothing & Moony? That poor werewolf, used to a pack, had to spend the next twelve years alone. ALONE! It destroyed him. He was more wild then ever when I met him right here at Hogwarts. Filled with hate. For me! He tried to kill me so many times."

"I know that," the boy cried. "But Merlin! There had to be another way! Send Peter away. Erase his memories! Anything!"

"Oh you don't understand!" The old one stood up & turned away.

"Yes I do."

"No!"

"I do so!" the boy huffed, standing up. "I get you're trying to save other lives. I get you're trying to reform the pack & keep Moony safe."

"But what you don't get is what awaits you after those twelve years in Azkaban!" The old Sirius whirled around on the boy & shoved him to the ground once more.

"What then? DAMN YOU! What?"

The old Sirius dragged the boy out a bit, keeping their own wand on him. "Look. LOOK! Tell me what you see?"

"The edges of the gorge," the boy muttered sarcastically.

"Merlin, I was such a smart-arse back then," The old one complained. "Hogwarts. Hogsmeade. The grounds & Quidditch Pitch nearby. Understand?"

"Yeah, ok."

"Now imagine them with Dementors swarming about."

"Dementors?"

"Boy this is near the end of 7th Year," the old one was annoyed. "We confronted one Dementor at Defence Against The Dark Arts before Christmas, remember?"

"Oh yeah, learning our Patronus," the boy said. "They kept one in a crate at the boat house since Dumbledore doesn't like having them around. I know all about them."

The old Sirius burst out laughing. "Merlin, how stupid I was back then!" He laughed harder. Suddenly he went deathly silent. Teeth gritted so hard, they nearly cracked, he hissed, "Boy, you don't know SHIT! About them. Understand? You haven't spent twelve years with those beasts. You don't know ANYTHING!" He grabbed the boy by the collar. "That was just one Dementor in class. Imagine the ENTIRE horde here. Looking for your sorry INNOCENT arse!"

"Well, that's to be expected," the boy shrugged. "I escaped. It's natural they'd want to look for me to bring me back."

The old one laughed, if possible, harder than before. When he finally got control of himself he said, "That's what I thought. Until I heard Moony recommending the Minister of that time that my sentence should be upgraded from life in Azkaban, to the Dementor's Kiss right there on these grounds! The Ministry Of Magic agreed." He let the boy go & watched the reaction.

"The Kiss?" Sirius pressed both hands to his abdomen. "But that—that—that … the KISS?"

"Ah yes, you would know all about that, now wouldn't you Sirius?" the old one taunted. "I remember what I did this past Christmas. I thought I could take on that beast all by myself & went in there & released it. I was nearly destroyed."

"I had to write an entire three-parchment essay on it," the boy grumbled.

"Learned the lesson though, didn't I?" The old one snickered mirthlessly. "I never went near the monster by myself again! Ohhh if I had only known then that I would have to get used to not only that creature but also its entire family, I'd have NEVER gone down there!"

"I would have ... lost my soul?" the boy gasped. "Because of Peter?"

"Yes. Dear, sweet little Peter!"

"No," the boy fell to his knees. "Oh Merlin no."

"You did hear me mention the part that it was Moony, of all people, who helped to upgrade my sentence, right?" The boy merely shook his head in shock, so the old one continued. "Yet right now at this very moment, that precious pup thinks you've got a crush on him. Imagine that. From crush to hate!" He snapped his fingers. "Just. Like! That!"

The boy glared up at his old self. "What did you—MERLIN! Am I mated to him?"

"What? No!" The old one said. "He got confused since I didn't transform & offer my cloak. I made him walk naked all through the Dark Forest & I couldn't defend myself. I can't let him see my prison robes. Teenagers eh? Come up with the oddest explanation for the simplest of things."

"I may have had my stupid moments but no offence … Sirius …" The boy found it odd using his own name. "Time travelling to fix something is anything but simple!"

The pair stared at each other in silence. The old one sighed & sat down, handing back the familiar wand. "I'm a bit under the weather. Now with Peter out of the way, Azkaban shouldn't happen. Here," He pulled out two letters. "Give those to James. We still have to save him. He'll know what to do after reading those two. I think he's the only other one in the future who knows exactly what's going on so you can talk to him about me as of now. The Silent Oath will include him the moment he opens those letters. But none of the others. Not that I know of anyway. We must keep the timeline as pure as possible." The old Sirius then put a hand on his forehead. "Merlin what's wrong with me? I feel like I've been ripped into pieces."

The boy finally felt a bit of pity for his elder self. "You're just really tired. You should rest. By the way," He put the envelopes into his cloak, beside the Map. "I've stolen some robes off one of the Professors here. Slughorn's. They're lying in the hayloft of the third unicorn barn. Above the sleighs."

The old Sirius smiled a bit. "Merci (Thank you)."

"I figured, you can put them on & go home a free man," the boy offered. "Ditch the stripes right here. I'll burn them."

The old one shook his head. "I can't go home." He pulled out the pendant. The hourglass was broken. "It was such a small thing. Not meant for a big trip. When I tried to go home earlier today, it shattered. I'm stuck here now."

The boy stared at it. "Well, no one here has ever heard of an escaped murderer, innocent or otherwise. You can stay here. You're another Black so I can easily say you're part of the family. It would be good really. The only other Black I like is—"

"Andromeda," the old one put in. "Yeah, she's something else, eh?"

The boy hesitated before adding, "You could re-live these years. Free."

"Free," The old one echoed. "Am I really free?"

"Sure," the boy nodded. "I'll call you Uncle Orion. We'll try not to use Sirius too much for you. Also, you can redo your Animagic lessons. Become another animal & join our pack. Replace the one that was lost. You know there are three kinds of Animagic, right?"

"Land, water, air."

"You could take an aerial one," the boy went on. "Annoy Moony from above."

The old one laughed softly. "I just might honestly do that, you know? Sounds good." He handed over the broken Time-Turner & then a wand. The boy recognized it instantly as Peter's wand. "Here," the old one went on. "In 1994, near the end of term, you're going to have to place that on the desk by that girl."

"What girl?"

"The one I stole it from," the old one shrugged. "She's a Gryffindor. The password at that moment is Fortuna Major."

"And uh, just exactly how am I going to remember that?" the boy stared incredulously at him. "That's years from now."

"Just keep that thing around your neck at all times," the old one said. "I used his wand to put a memory charm on it. You'll know exactly when, where & what to say when the time comes. It's about the only useful thing Peter could do to redeem himself. In my eyes anyway."

"Where'd you get his wand?"

"It was floating in the water, stuck in some reeds. I've got to rest. You go see James now."