CHAPTER EIGHT
The flight back from the Pharos was a solemn one.
In the chaos of their escape, Balthier had allowed Basch to see an unsteady Fran safely to her cabin while he piloted them away from the exploding tower but the second they were clear and stable he had handed the controls to Vaan - who was more than happy for something to keep his mind occupied - and gone to take care of his partner. There he stayed for the majority of the journey.
Barely anyone spoke on that return flight. After everything that had occurred in that top room in the tower - the Sun-Cryst, Rasler, Gabranth, The Occuria, Doctor Cid, Reddas… It was all too much. What good would words do?
Basch, after being unceremoniously thrown out of Fran's quarters, sat alone in The Strahl's small mess area, reflecting on the confrontation that the party had had with his brother. Despite everything, he would never be 'Judge Gabranth' to Basch. Always his brother.
Vaan, of course, was at the ships helm, Ashe sat with him in the co-pilot's seat keeping him focused and relaxed on his first time flying. While Penelo, dear sweet Penelo, sat herself outside Fran's cabin door waiting for either Sky Pirate to emerge.
Eventually the door opened. Balthier was only momentarily surprised, then smiled sweetly at the young girl, offering her a hand as she made to stand. She had grown so close to the two pirates it seemed only natural to find her there.
"How is she?" She asked, eyes wide with concern.
"Much better now." He replied, smiling at her relief. "She just needed some rest that's all."
"That's good to hear." The young girl breathed. "What about you though?" She asked, tentatively. "How are you doing?"
The change in Balthier's eyes when she asked him that was so fleeting most people wouldn't have caught it but after travelling together for so long, Penelo had started to read her surrogate brother quite well. She had a long way to go before she was as skilled as Fran but she was still able to spot his distress. She knew best not to pursue it though. If he was going to talk about it with anyone she knew it wouldn't be her. And she was okay with that.
Balthier, however, reverted to character to avoid the true answer.
"I'll be much better once I've regained control of my airship." He said in his typical carefree fashion. "Honestly, I'm just amazed we haven't plummeted to the ocean even once. Who would have thought Vaan was actually paying attention." He grinned at her.
"He will surprise you." She said with a mirroring smile. Balthier had expected nothing less then for her to come to the defence of her best friend. "When he knows it's important, he'll step up. I'll think I'll go look for Basch. He was worried about Fran and I want to tell him she's okay. And make sure he's alright too, you know, after Gabranth." She squeezed his hand and made her way to the mess.
'Dear Penelo,' Balthier thought to himself as he watched her leave, 'always taking care of everyone.' With a soft shake of his head at her good heart, he moved towards to cockpit.
As he stood in the cockpit doorway Balthier couldn't help but be impressed at the concentration and, dare he believe it, skill that he was witnessing from Vaan as he manned the controls of his beloved airship. The Princess was sitting in the co-pilot's chair offering much-needed support. 'And probably making sure for her own part that we stay in the air.' Balthier reminded himself with a grin that after handing Vaan the controls, the first thing the Princess took note of was the location of the auto-pilot switch.
He watched her for a moment. She was so beautiful, staring out at the horizon and giving Vaan a reassuring touch on the arm. He remembered how she used to recoil at any sort of physical contact and now she was the one to offer it. 'You've come a long way, Princess.'
After a moment she noticed him, standing there.
"Balthier." She acknowledged him.
He flicked her a sad smile. He was willing to play the part of Pirate with the others but not with her. He cared for her too much to pretend. Besides, Ashe would probably see through any façade he attempted anyhow. She had worked her way in to him too deep.
Instead he turned his attention to the young man at the controls.
"Flying steady, Vaan?" Vaan glanced up him, half anxious, half elated.
"Balthier. I've been flying her just like you showed me. Am I doing alright?" He asked, desperate for approval from his hero. Balthier surveyed him, one hand on his hip, the other on his chin.
"Well, I don't know…" He tried not to laugh at the way Vaan's face seemed to drop at his words. "You've still a long way to go before you'll reach my level of talent -" At that, Ashe, smile on her face, couldn't help but roll her eyes and shake her head at Balthier's 'modesty'. "- But you do show some potential."
Vaan beamed at that.
"You're doing fine, Vaan." Balthier continued, reassuring his young friend. "Now get out of my chair."
"Oh, sure thing. I wanna go find Penelo anyhow. You know, tell her all about my first go flying an actual airship!"
Vaan switched on the auto-pilot (located with the help of the Princess) and hopped out of the chair to make way for Balthier. As he passed the older man though, he paused and gave him a supportive clap on the shoulder. It caught Balthier completely off guard. He knew the party had all gotten close over this journey but for even Vaan to recognise the turmoil he was in over the fate of his father was completely unexpected. They all knew him better than he could ever have imagined. It was actually a welcome feeling.
He nodded at Vaan and echoed the gesture, before slipping in to pilot's seat and Vaan took his leave.
Leaving the auto-pilot on, Balthier sat in the place he felt the most comfortable in all of Ivalice and quickly lost himself in his thoughts. He had actually forgotten Ashe was sitting across from him until she made to leave him alone with his ship.
"No, Ashe, please." Balthier started and reached for her. "Don't go. Unless you wish to that is."
Ashe turned to him, hearing the plea he couldn't keep out of his voice and saw it written in his eyes as well. She gently took his hand and sat back down. Of course she wouldn't leave him, but as he returned his gaze to the horizon, she was left feeling so impotent. She was desperate to comfort him and he needed her, that much was clear. He couldn't lie to her. The loss of his father and their contribution to his downfall had torn a hole in him. No matter what the man had become, there was still all that he had been, and all that he could have been to Balthier.
He had still been his father.
No suitable words would come to Ashe. Everything felt so hollow and contrived. Even the simple act of holding his hand didn't seem enough. It just didn't convey the sympathy fittingly for how she felt. It just wasn't big enough.
Ashe made a decision. It was incredibly bold, far too intimate and more than a little bit dangerous - even more so then her choice to let him sleep with her in her bed back on the Phon Coast because how her feelings for him had evolved. But the time for half measures had long since past.
In one swift movement she got up, stood behind Balthier's chair and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her cheek on the side of his head, catching the scent of his hair as she embraced him. It was so much more intense than his embrace after Giruvegan. The need was so much more.
Balthier breathed in sharply at the move but quickly took back the moment, gripping on to the arms that circled his neck and closing his eyes, surrendering himself to the physical comfort and her. Clinging to the moment for dear life.
After a time, Ashe finally spoke.
"I'm sorry we couldn't save him."
Those words nearly undid him. Squeezing his eyes tight, they forced him to admit something to himself that had already been dancing around his subconscious. It was so much easier…no, actually better, when he believed Cid had gone mad. That had allowed Balthier to deem Cid's actions as a result of that illness, that he, in fact, didn't have a clear comprehension of his actions and his treatment of his son. But that wasn't the way of it. Cid had not been truly mad. Well, at least not in the way Balthier had thought for so long. He knew what he was doing and had walked towards his fate eyes open. That's what hurt most of all. That he chose it.
Balthier took a deep breath. "I don't think he wanted to saved." He admitted. Ashe responded by holding him tighter and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. He replied with a kiss on her wrist and they both let out a long sigh.
They stayed that way, no sense of time, neither one wanting to let the other go until, eventually, footsteps were heard on the gangway heading in their direction. Reluctantly Balthier let go of Ashe's arms expecting her to leap away from him in the presence of another. Ashe, however, simply stood back keeping her left hand on his shoulder, unashamed to be seen offering comfort to her friend in his hour of need. That said, when she saw that it was Basch who had entered the small room, she couldn't help but look a little chastised.
For once though, Basch didn't seem bothered by their proximity, nodding at her before sitting next to Balthier in the co-pilot's seat.
"Penelo tells me Fran is feeling herself again." The Knight stated. At his words, Ashe felt a flush of guilt. She had been so concerned, first with Vaan and then with Balthier the reality was that she had forgotten about the distressed Viera and her condition. She would be sure to check on her before they landed.
"Oh, she's fine!" Balthier's voice stirred her from her rueful thoughts. "In fact I'm starting to believe it was actually all an act! She is such an attention seeker is our Fran." And just like that the gentleman rogue was back, as if he had never left. Balthier reached over and took control of The Strahl back from the auto-pilot with a slight jolt and Ashe thought it best to leave him to the task in hand.
"If you gentlemen will excuse me." She dismissed herself, unintentional trailing her fingers along the bare skin on the back of Balthier's neck as she left, causing another slight jolt from the controls.
Balthier wished she wouldn't leave. Aside from the obvious, he actually felt safer with Ashe in the room after what the Captain had interrupted. Basch seemed as lost in his own thoughts as Balthier had been earlier.
"We shouldn't be too far from Balfonheim now. Thirty minutes perhaps." The Pirate observed, breaking the slightly awkward silence.
"Good thing too. It won't be light for much longer." Basch countered. He was right. The sun had indeed started to sink in the sky, colouring it a pale gold. 'Gods, has this all just been one day.' Balthier mused.
"You should tell her." For the second time in the space of an hour Balthier was complete blind-sighted by one of his companions and, in fact, had to congratulate himself in keeping control of The Strahl as well as he did. He stared at Basch. Did he imagine what the Captain had just said?
"Tell who what?" Basch just stared at him.
"Balthier, I am no fool and I'm sure you would never class me as such. It is clear to us all that you care deeply for the Lady Ashe and she for you, and while it should go against everything she has been brought up to be, you do seem to make her happy. You make each other happy."
Balthier's heart had virtually stopped and his mouth was drier than the Westersand. Seriously, how was he keeping this ship up in the air? He had expected this conversation from Fran, possibly even Penelo but Basch?!
"Basch-" He started but the Knight cut him off.
"Despite all your attempts to convince otherwise, you are a good man, Balthier. And if today has taught us anything it's how fleeting life is. Regrets are not something that should be carried over to the next life." Basch seemed to be talking to himself almost as much as Balthier at this point before turning back the Pirate. "You should tell her." He repeated.
Balthier knew he looked less like the self-proclaimed 'Leading Man' then ever before as he gaped open-mouthed at Basch as the Captain stood to leave. Basch fixed him with a stare.
"Do not think for one second though that this means you have my blessing." And with that he left as Vaan and Penelo bounded in to sit with a shell-shocked Balthier.
"Gees, Balthier, you were bouncing all over the place." Grinned Vaan. "You sure you don't want me to take over?"