Part Three: These Hands Won't Let Go

So, go, go, go,
Get out of here.
Go away,
Get out of here.

As Bae's hand closed around his, he closed his eyes. His son was back; the hand he had let go of all those unfathomable years ago was back in his. This hand was larger, callused and firmer than the child's hand he had held before, but that warmth and that pulse…That was proof his son was real and back in his grasp. The joy and love that swirled through him was almost powerful enough to overcome the darkness and pain.

Rumplestiltskin didn't want to die. He couldn't die. There was too much still to do, there was more still, so much more. There was unfinished business and deals still to be made. There was this unknown, reclaimed son, this Neal…this man that his Bae had become to get to know.

There was love to find again. He gripped his son's hand harder. If Snow White was not successful, if he had not been persuasive enough to sway that supposed white heart everything was done, everything was gone.

Cora would destroy Storybrooke; she would kill everyone before the sun set on this day if she was not stopped - finally. If he did not see to it that the monster he had created was stopped he would see the death of his son, his grandson…of his Belle. There was not much in his life that he had ever loved, and he had lost all of it at least once before, he wasn't quite in the mood to lose it again.

Milah. He had loved her. He truly had. Of course though, those were memories of another time, another man. She had been lost to him so long it hardly registered any more.

Bae. He had loved that boy from the moment he had first started to daydream of a child, of a son he could have one day in those beautiful first years with his Milah…and he had never stopped loving him, ever. Lost sight of it, misplaced it, yes, but never had he ever stopped loving him.

Belle, the love of his entire existence. She the beauty that saw the goodness in a dark soul and saw the man in the beast. Belle, the woman that refused to cower to him, refused to let him descend into darkness, and refused to let him slide. She did make him want to be better, really did make him want to go back to that best version of himself. For her, for Bae…for himself. Belle, brave, beautiful and perfection personified, Belle. He loved that woman and she held his world and his heart.

These three people he could admit freely he had loved, two he still loved and would for eternity. Yet, yet there was something else that was squeezing around his heart like a fist. Not the poison, no he knew this feeling. It was the feeling of reluctant feelings, a reluctant change of heart.

He had been blind sided by Henry's kinship, had been caught more than off guard. It had shaken him to his marrow. This boy was more significant than he had ever fathomed. Rumplestiltskin had always gone to great lengths to never be caught off guard, to always be five steps ahead, to anticipate and be proactive versus reactive but he had never been knocked off kilter more than when it became clear that the boy that would be his undoing was a boy of his blood.

So many scenarios had run through his mind after that steel, poisoned hook pierced his chest. Kill the boy. Send the boy away, Wonderland perhaps…if he could find a way. It always circled back to killing him before he could finish him.

Kill a child? Kill his grandson. Had he not fought for the innocents, way back in the beginning? Back before he forgot what it meant to love purely, back when fear of losing love was stronger than his fear of losing power, hadn't he become what he was so that innocent boys wouldn't die in the name of another's unholy war?

Could he do that? He could.

Would he?

He blinked, looking up and between his son and Emma, the parents of the boy that would be the undoing of him. They were soul mates. It was written in the language of their bodies, in the looks they had when they thought the other wasn't looking. It made his chest constrict and his choices even more difficult, if that were possible.

Emma was Bae's Belle.

Bae had just been introduced to his son after years apart, after years of not knowing he lived… Rumplestiltskin lost his breath, lungs full of poison and regret, just another type of poison, and he stuttered through a gasping cough.

Bae would not suffer as he had done. He could not do that. He could not take Bae's son away from him. He could not kill an innocent boy…he could not kill his grandson.

"You need to leave. Now…" he spoke suddenly, causing Emma and Neal to turn and stare at him like he had grown a second head.

"What?" Emma furrowed her brow at him.

He struggled, trying to sit up, Neal was quickly next to him, helping "Pop…careful," he muttered concern in his eyes.

Rumplestiltskin was reassured of his decision.

"This has to end…and it has to be Cora and I, you need to go. Go, get Henry, get the rest of your family Emma, if you must…get to Hook's ship…"

"Pop, what are you saying?" Neal searched his face.

"I can't explain…my boy," Rumplestiltskin cupped his son's cheek with infinite tenderness, tenderness that he seldom displayed, "There isn't time, but…I've a favor, and I know I've no right to ask…" he paused to fight down a cough and will his stomach not to revolt and deliver up the blood and bile he knew was building there, "Get my Belle. She's…she's in the Storybrooke Hospital, she…she doesn't remember who she is…she doesn't remember our world, but you have to get her safe. Please…"

Rumplestiltskin unintentionally squeezed harder his son's hand as another wave of pain coursed through him; the poison was attacking his nervous system.

"We aren't going to leave you," Emma was kneeling next to Neal, "We'll figure this out…we aren't leaving, unless it's together."

Rumplestiltskin couldn't fight off the rye, sardonic chuckle that came out broken and pathetic, "Emma, if you want to live, if you want your son and his father…my son, to live you both do exactly as I say, no questions. You will go. You will leave here now."

He stared at his son; neither let their gazes stray, even as the intensity and the struggle increased. Father and son, reunited just to be pulled apart again. Neal's eyes were soft and on the edges they fear showed. Softly in the shadows of the iris Rumplestiltskin saw a glimpse of forgiveness and regret.

That same regret and fear was tenfold in his own, "I made the wrong choice Bae, and I never should have let you go. That has haunted me all these…" another racking cough doubled Rumplestiltskin, Neal hit his father's back to help clear the liquid filling his lungs, "years. I won't do it again, I won't. I am choosing what I should have then. I'm choosing you, I'm choosing family. Take your family…our family and go. Please, get out of here…while you still can."

Neal's face crumpled, tears formed in the corners of his eyes, "Papa…"

Emma watched in her own state of horror as it all built around her, the realizations and the inescapable fate. "Mr. Gold," she whispered placing a hand on his knee, "You don't have to do this…we can fight, we can still…"

Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes, "No dear Emma, we can't. Take care of my son…of your son. If you can, look after my…" he struggled to keep air, "my Belle. There is no other way to be sure you're safe… Let me to deal with…my old friend, my old enemy…"

Emma felt hot tears start to stream down her cheeks, she couldn't speak, couldn't answer, she looked to Neal.

"Emma, go get Henry and your parents…" Neal said softly, moving his gaze slowly from his father to the mother of his child.

"Neal we…"

"Go," Neal cut her off holding her eyes.

Emma seemed to search for something but finally nodded, "Okay… Mr. Gold, I …I just want…" she searched for words.

Rumplestiltskin smiled faintly, "I know…I wouldn't have ever…picked you for Bae…but…but he always did know better than I…you are family Emma," he squeezed her hand that was still on top his knee.

Emma's tears increased, "I never believed you were as bad as they said…" she leaned up and kissed his cheek with a small, sad smile, "Rumplestiltskin, Henry is lucky to have you as his grandfather…"

Rumplestiltskin laughed harshly, it came out more as a cough.

Emma rose, looked again at Neal, begging with her eyes for him to change his mind. Neal gave a small shake of his head and directed her to the side door with his eyes. Emma hesitated but finally nodded and disappeared out the door.

"Papa…I don't know if I can do this, I don't think I can leave you," Neal looked up at the pain stricken face of his father. He could hardly remember a time where his father had actually been hurt. After becoming the Dark One Rumplestiltskin never knew physical pain, he was invincible.

The man before Neal - Baelfire was weak, dying…vulnerable. It was his father in front of him not the Dark One; the curse was all but faded.

"It's back to you and I… My boy, I am sorry for what I've done, for all that…" The cough, choking this time took several moments for Rumplestiltskin to recover from, "Let me make this right…finally. We're out of time…go. Please, go. Find my Belle…get our family safe!"

Neal broke down; a sob cracked the barely intact facade, "Papa! I love you," he hugged his father, head against his middle as he kneeled on the floor.

"And I love you Bae…so very much…

Go, go,
Get out of here.
Go away,
Get out of here.

Across town Belle was frantically arguing with the nurse, "No! I'm telling you I am Belle! Be-lle!" she cried throwing open the door of the small wardrobe pulling out her purse and small bag of clothing from the night she was admitted. The night she lost herself, she shuddered at the memory.

"Ma'am I must insist…!" the nurse put her hands on Belle's arm.

Belle whirled around, she focused on the nurse's face, "Wait, I know you!" Belle lifted her finger at her "You were my nurse when Regina had me locked up!" The normally gentle Belle growled at the women, causing the nurse for a moment to be reminded of Mr. Gold.

The Beauty had picked up a few of the Beast's habits.

"Get out of my room, I'm getting dressed and then I'm leaving. I've got a man to save…" Belle bore holes into the woman with her fierce and blazing blue gaze.

The nurse was frozen, mouth agape, eyes wide and startled.

"Get out, get out, get out!" Belle waved her hands and the nurse finally pulled back to reality and scurried from the room.

Belle knew the nurse was surely calling Regina, Regina had to be behind this in some way, and quickly shed the ghastly yellow paper like gown and scrambled into the brown skirt and blouse and jacket. Shoving her feet, sans stockings, into her low boots she was rushing out the door.

She had to get to him. She had to find him; she had lost him too many times already, not one more time.

His shop. He had to be at his shop. "Answer Rumple…please answer!" she pleaded under her breath as she dialed his cell phone yet again. It didn't even ring this time, just went straight to his message.

"Wait for me…please! Don't leave me…don't leave me again!" she wished against the fear in her head as she flew down the hospital halls and through the ER doors, leaving her nurse dazed in her wake.

"Rumple…please, don't go."