CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"Ashe, could you listen to me for a moment? I'm trying to talk to you!"

Ashe huffed and put her pen back down on the desk and looked up underneath her dark blonde brows. She could count the number of people who were still willing to talk to her like that and get away with it on one hand. Lucky for Vaan, he was one of them.

He was standing in front her desk in her study, hands on his hips, looking at her expectantly. Ashe rubbed her temples. She could feel a headache coming on.

"I am listening to you, Vaan."

"Oh yeah? Then what was the last thing I said?"

"You said 'I'm trying to talk to you'!" Vaan couldn't halt his laugh at her juvenile retort. It was like their usual roles had been reversed. He and Penelo had returned from Bervenia - from Fran and Balthier - almost a week ago, but the Queen was having a hectic week and hadn't been able to see either of them before their usual weekly meeting. Vaan had come alone for once as Penelo had to assist Migelo with something important (she had explained to Vaan the reason she couldn't come in some detail to pass it on to the Queen, but he hadn't really found it worth paying attention for and so didn't listen). As soon as he saw his friend he knew something was off.

"Ashe, what's up? You're distracted and you look like you haven't been sleeping again." He frowned at her, concerned as she lent back in her chair, releasing a long and heavy sigh.

"Vaan, it's nothing. It's just been a bit trying since you left." She held a hand to her face. "I'm sorry. What were you saying?" While it seemed her interest had returned, Vaan wasn't going to let her blow him off so easily. He walked around the desk so he was next to her and sat up on the top, ignoring the look Ashe gave him for sitting on her documents. The boy really didn't care about boundaries.

"Ashe, it's me." She glanced up at him, dubiously. "What's going on?" When she remained silent he tried a different tack. "Do I have to go and get Penelo? 'Cos you know I will." That got a smile out of her. If anyone could get her to talk it was Penelo. The girl was a force of nature when she wanted to be.

Finally Ashe relented. "It's a lot of things." She began. "There have been some complications in planning my coronation. A few delegates are being petty and causing a fuss over seating arrangements at the ceremony and a few other ridiculous things. Nothing that can't be corrected in time but tiresome none the less. Also, one of my councillors yesterday… One of the older ones, the ones that don't like you, he brought up the subject of my re-marrying." Vaan pulled a face.

"Already?"

"I wasn't entirely surprised. I knew the topic would be broached at some point, I just didn't think it would be mentioned before I was crowned."

"What exactly did he say?" Ashe sighed again. She seemed to be doing that a lot just recently.

"That it was my duty as a Queen and as a woman to marry and provide a child and heir. He even had the nerve to say it was for the good of Dalmasca." She scoffed. "I spent two years doing everything I possibly could for 'the good of Dalmasca' while he sat and waited for someone else to do all the hard work and he has the gall to lecture me on my duty. And not just a Queen, as a woman!" Vaan sat quietly for a moment to let her rage subside.

"You could just fire him." He said eventually. Ashe's mouth twitched.

"It's tempting." She smiled. "As I said though, it was going to be spoken of at some point. It was just so tactless." She lowered her head. "I'm not ready, Vaan. It's too soon." Vaan furrowed his brow in contemplation.

"Well, then tell them that." Ashe shook her head.

"It's not as easy as that, Vaan. They have a point. I will need to re-marry and need an heir."

"Sure, but when you want to." He stressed. Ashe glanced up at him. He just didn't understand.

"It is necessary. I am Queen, Vaan."

"Exactly!" He interrupted her. "You're Queen. You don't abuse your power enough, Ashe. It's your decision and your say is final. Ashe, you're only twenty years old! You've got at least another ten years, maybe even fifteen before you need to get really serious about kids. And if your councillors don't like it then tough. Do remember in Giruvegan? There were these Golems there." Ashe nodded in remembrance. "Do you remember they had an attack where they ran at you and charged you down? Well, that's what you need to do with your councillors if they keep bringing this up. Wild charge them!"

Ashe studied her friend, happily sitting on her desk, and started to smile.

"You'd be a terrible diplomat, Vaan." She said. Vaan beamed at her.

"Yeah, but I'll always get what I want." He proclaimed, missing the point entirely. Ashe laughed at him but in the back of her mind she couldn't help but feel he may have a point. She was young, time was on her side and maybe she did need to be firmer on the subject. It was definitely a strange day when she found herself taking advice from Vaan.

Vaan watched her as she though his words over and he realised there was more this then she had so far said.

"You said it's been hard since we left but this matter only happened yesterday. What else is going on, Ashe?" Ashe bit her thumb. Damn, he was being perceptive today. For once. She didn't really want to tell him her troubles. She didn't really want to tell anyone, but he was her friend and he cared about her. She felt it was only right to be honest with him.

"I haven't been sleeping. Ever since…" She couldn't bring herself to say it so she simply held up her right hand where Rasler's wedding ring now sat. After receiving it back she thought long and hard about whether or not to wear it again. It didn't seem to represent Rasler anymore. She knew she would always love him but she had moved on. It was just a ring now, but she still wanted to honour her lost husband and so chose to wear it on her right hand instead of the more significant left. If anything it reminded her of Balthier now but instead of being a comfort, it felt like it was taunting her.

She stood up and walked out to the balcony and stared out at the hideous wreckage of The Bahamut. It had become part of the landscape now but she still didn't like seeing it. Vaan hopped off the desk and came and stood beside her. This is what he came to talk to her about. He just didn't really know how.

Ashe took a breath and held it.

"How is he?" The words were barely above a whisper. It was Vaan's turn to sigh.

"He's okay, I guess. You know Balthier, he puts on a show. He's coping." He added the last part as more of an afterthought but the Queen couldn't prevent her look of curious concern seep through.

"Coping? What do you mean by 'coping'?" Vaan started to appear uncomfortable and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, you know… He and Fran have been through a lot. It's be kinda rough." Ashe felt a wave of guilt at her anger with the Sky Pirate. She hadn't known how to imagine him since his note but she certainly didn't picture anguish. Balthier didn't do anguish.

Vaan was looking at her hesitantly. "Ashe," he started, "he's still in love with you." Ashe closed her eyes to hide her emotions.

"Did he tell you that?" Vaan laughed.

"Penelo." He corrected. "She yelled at him until he told her." Despite the pain flaring in her chest, the Queen couldn't help but smile at the image of little Penelo berating the brash Sky Pirate. Balthier always did favour strong women.

Her enjoyment was fleeting however, and she returned to her melancholy.

"Even if that's true," she said, "what good does it do if he will insist on hiding."

"Ashe,-" But Ashe would not let him finish.

"No, Vaan!" She interrupted, her vexation being to bubble over. "You say he still loves me, yet both his words and actions are to the contrary. Do not get my hopes up, for he has clearly chosen his future and I do not seem to feature in it!" She picked up her skirts and swept dramatically from the balcony, back to her desk. Vaan threw his hands up in frustration.

"Oh, by the Gods! You two are ridiculous!" He hollered. Ashe stopped dead and spun round to fix her friend with uncertain stare. Vaan could get irritated easily but rarely showed any real temper. And to raise your voice to a Queen was dangerous indeed if anyone had heard him. Vaan clearly didn't seem to care though.

"The pair of you are both as bad as each other!" He continued. "He was an idiot and you're mad at him. That's understandable but it's like you're both searching for reasons to not be together. Do you love him?" He stood in front of her not allowing her to escape the subject.

"Vaan,-"

"Ashe, do you love him?" He pressed. He stared at her, face full of question while he waited for her answer. Ashe was so taken aback by his suddenly forceful attitude, it took a moment for her to find her voice.

"Yes." She whispered. Vaan threw his arms outwards and smiled.

"Then what's the problem?! I mean, really Ashe? What's the problem? Just talk to him and everything will be alright." He was grinning at her as if he'd managed to solve all the problems of the world. Ashe sat down heavily into a chair and thought long and hard about his words.

"The skies." She said, plainly. "Even if we could get past this and obtain, dare I say, approval from Dalmasca there is still the small matter of Balthier being a Sky Pirate. He clearly does not wish to give them up and I could never ask him to. Not even for me." She hoped Vaan wouldn't notice how her voice broke on her last sentence. She was in luck as he had seeming gone into a state of contemplation.

"Would you wait for him?" He asked after a minute. Ashe was unsure what he meant by this.

"Wait for him?" Vaan nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, I know he loves the sky and the freedom and everything but I doubt he's going to want to do that forever. And if he had something to come back to he might want to settle down earlier then you think." He gave her a boyish smile but she still remained sceptical.

"That's an awfully big risk to take, Vaan." She said. He shrugged.

"It's gotta be worth the chance though. After all, if you don't you'll hate yourself for the rest of your life and drive yourself mad with 'what ifs'." He raised his eyebrows at her. "You know I'm right."

Ashe bit her thumb in deliberation as she studied her young friend. He really had grown up since that fateful night in the Garamsythe Waterways. She fixed him with a look and a tug of a smile played at her lips.

"You're pretty mouthy with your Queen today." She observed but not without a touch of humour. Vaan just waved the comment off.

"Then put me in the stocks or the dungeons, whatever, friends don't lie to each other. Family doesn't lie to each other." That made Ashe smile broadly and Vaan in turn. He really was her family now and she his. He, and Penelo, and Aria, and even though Basch was in Archades, there was no one else she could consider as a father-figure. She just had to hope Fran… and Balthier... would still want roles in this family of misfits.

She stood up and hugged Vaan tightly.

"Thank you, Vaan. For everything today."

"Hey, no problem. It's what I'm here for." He said happily as he returned the hug. Ashe pulled back and just smiled at him for a moment. She then, much to Vaan's shock, called out for her guards.

"Aider, Beale, throw Vaan into the dungeons for an hour." She said with an evil smirk. "Punishment for telling off his Queen."

She had to fight to control her laughter, first at her guards surprise and then at Vaan's. As they started to lead him off he began protesting loudly, only for Ashe to smile at him innocently.

"I'm only doing what you told me to, Vaan." She stated. "And you did say I don't abuse my power enough." She shrugged at him with open hands and he glared at her as he was dragged off.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" He cried as he was escorted out of the room and Ashe laughed deviously. She called one of the guards back.

"Aider, make it two."