CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"Vaan? Vaan?!" Ashe called out as loud as she possibly dared.

Vaan wasn't in their usual meeting place and it wasn't often he ran late. Ashe cursed under her breath as she searched around the Palace gardens for her friend. It was only four weeks, almost to the day, until her coronation and her days were already beginning to fill from the preparations. This would be the last time they would be able to do this for a while and she wanted to make the most of it. It did cross her mind that he might have been keeping her waiting on purpose, to get his own back for the whole dungeons incident the other week. But she thought she had made it up to him by setting him up on a proper date with Aria, (a date she knew had gone well, Aria was practically dancing when she had returned). No, he had to be here somewhere, she reasoned.

That said, she had been looking for him for ten minutes with no sign of him.

"Curse that boy!" She muttered. "Vaan! Where are you?!"

"Vaan's not coming."

Ashe gasped and held the air in her chest at the sound of the voice from behind her. She hadn't heard that voice in ten months, at least not out loud for she heard it in her head constantly. Could it now be a figment of her imagination? She didn't dare turn around in case she had deceived herself, or perhaps worse; what if she hadn't?

Exhaling slowly, she somehow managed to will her feet to turn and face the person who addressed her. Keeping her eyes down until the last second, Ashe lifted her head and saw Balthier standing before her.

"Hello, Princess." He said to her with a soft smile.

Ashe had forgotten how to breath again He looked just as he did when she last saw him, the only exception being his demeanour. He was evidently nervous at being there. Ashe felt a pang in her chest. It was at once, the most painful and most elating sensation she had ever felt.

She simply stared at him, her mouth ever so slightly agape, for an indefinite length of time, still disbelieving her eyes. Somehow she found her voice, though it didn't sound like hers.

"Are you real?" Her voice quavered. Balthier had been experiencing a similar phenomenon since spying the Queen step out of the shadows where Vaan had said she'd be waiting, but he still couldn't help himself at her question.

"Is that your way of saying you dream of me often?" He grinned at her, his familiar smirk that Ashe knew so well but under her continued, stunned gaze, he faltered and found some humility.

"Yes, I'm here." He said. He felt unable to meet her eyes and yet couldn't look away from them, lost in their beauty and desperate for a glimmer of hope that she was happy to see him. Ashe found herself moving tentatively towards him, her hand outstretched until it was gently touching his chest. She pushed lightly with her fingertips and found that he was solid. He was here. Balthier, her Balthier was here, in front of her and looking at her with the sweetest expression. She felt a smile start to rise on her lips and Balthier was so overjoyed at seeing that smile, he didn't notice the change in her eyes quick enough.

SMACK!

"Ow!" Balthier winced and raised a hand to his cheek where Ashe had slapped him with all her force. "You know, I'm not entirely certain I deserved that!" He said, hotly. The look of utter fury in Ashe's face silenced him before she began hitting his chest and every other part of him she could.

"You bastard!" She screamed at him. "You absolute, utter bastard of a pirate!"

"Ashe, stop!" Balthier looked around, nervously as he tried to fend off her attack, worried her shouting would draw the attentions of the Palace guards. "Princess! Princess, would you please..! Ashe, will you let me explain!" He managed to catch her slim wrists with his hands and Ashe glared at him.

"I thought you'd died!" She shouted, and Balthier felt instantly ashamed. "Do you understand that?! I thought you'd died and I'd never see you again! Do you have any idea what that's like, you heartless son of a bitch!" She felt her eyes burning with potential tears but she didn't care. 'Let them fall.' She thought. 'Let him see what he'd done to me.'

Balthier held Ashe's wrists limply as he stared into her hurt-filled face. "Ashe…" He said softly but she wrenched her hands away before he could continue.

"Don't 'Ashe' me! Don't you dare 'Ashe' me! You bastard!" She cried again. "Do have any idea how much I loved you? How much I still -" Her emotions got the better of her, and she clasped a hand to her mouth to hold in the sob that was filling her body. She turned away from him, to shield herself while she tried to regain some composure, but also so she could hide her shame at letting her words, her feelings escape in such a way.

Balthier stared at her back, feeling helpless and thoroughly ashamed of himself, (two sensations he rarely felt and didn't much care for) but his head was swimming at her words. It was the closest either of them had come to telling the other how they really felt about each other, (Balthier didn't think he could count his admission while Ashe was asleep) and even though she was clearly upset with him, his heart leapt to hear it. If only they could get past this moment.

"Ashe -" He started again but she held up a finger for quiet until she was ready. When she lowered her hand, he tried once more.

"Ashe, I'm sorry." He said, as heartfelt as he possibly could. "I am so, so sorry. For everything. For The Bahamut, for not letting you know I was alive, for being away so long, for the ring, the note, all of it. But most of all, I'm sorry if I ever made you believe that I didn't care you. Because I do, Ashe. So much."

Ashe screwed up her eyes to fight back the tears and lowered her hand, desperate for air. Her body shook as she took several deep, stabilising breaths. He sounded so honest, Gods, she wanted to forgive him. She stilled as she felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder and she could sense him directly behind her. Her animosity towards him gave way to longing and before she could stop herself, Ashe had spun on her heel and thrown herself against Balthier's chest.

She gripped him fiercely and every single feeling flooded back to her. He was so warm. The familiar scent of gunpowder filled her senses and she felt right. This felt right.

Balthier was momentarily startled when she embraced him. The speed at which she turned, he had been expecting another slap but when her slender body met his, his heart stopped, only for it to restart at five times it's normal pace. He wrapped his arms around her and dared to relax. Gods, he loved her. She fitted against him so perfectly and her silken hair teased at his face as he breathed her in. He was never letting this woman go again.

They held each other. A minute felt like the whole night and Balthier was more than happy to stay this way forever. That is, until Ashe was able to speak again.

"Where were you?"

He sighed and Ashe felt his body stiffen in her hold. With reluctance, he stepped back out of her arms and ran a hand through his hair.

"Is there somewhere we can talk that's less…open?" He asked, and then with a touch of his more usual flair, "I'd hate to be interrupted mid-story, Princess. You know how I love the sound of my own voice" He added a small wink.

Ashe snorted in amusement and nodded. Instinctively, she reached for his hand - a habit she had picked up from being constantly dragged around by Vaan - but she flinched and pulled back as their fingers met. Her eyes shot up in apology but Balthier just smiled at her.

"It's alright. I don't expect you to be there yet." He said, understanding. Ashe returned his smile sadly, and gestured for him to follow her.

The Queen led Balthier to a small stone pavilion. It wasn't completely private but it was certainly better then where they were previously. It also had benches for them to sit, a fact Ashe was grateful for as she wasn't sure how much longer her trembling legs could hold her.

As she sat, Balthier began to fidget, sitting, then standing and pacing. Hands on his face, in his hair, playing with his earrings. It was hard for him, to tell the whole story, to relive the crash and speak of his injuries. He did enough of that in his nightmares. Ashe watched the Pirate struggle, as if he was tormented and she didn't like seeing him this way. As he passed by her, she reached out and took his hand, not feeling the urge to pull away this time, but the need to reassure him. She looked up into his eyes, compassionately.

"It's alright, Balthier." She said. "Just take your time."

He gripped her hand, thankful for it, and sat down next to her. He could do this, he thought, so long as Ashe was here. Letting out a sigh, he slowly began to recite the tale of the last ten months. He left nothing out, nothing about his injuries, or about Camille and Moes, or life in Allaquoia. He didn't look at her as he spoke, choosing to fix his gaze on his feet. He stopped as he reached his goodbyes with the Merchants at the sound of sob, and he turned to see tears streaming down his Princess's face. Immediately, his hand came up to brush them away and he held her face, tenderly.

"I had no idea." She said in a broken voice. She closed her eyes as Balthier's thumb stroked her cheek, lovingly. She had missed him so much and brought her hand up to cover his. When she opened her eyes again, she couldn't fight her feelings anymore. She leant forward and Balthier moved to meet her in a sweet and emotional kiss.

Her entire body tingled as if it was coming back to life but her mind began to cloud over with desire. It felt so wonderful to be kissing him again, slow and controlled, but filled with passion. It was like coming home.

When they broke apart for air, Balthier rested his forehead against hers and let out a long, shuddering breath and beamed at her. He actually felt giddy at this moment.

"Gods, I've missed you so much." He breathed and Ashe let out a small laugh.

"And I you." She affirmed and Balthier pulled her into him for an intense embrace. "Your story's not over yet though, Pirate." She murmured in his ear. "What happened between Allaquoia and coming back for The Strahl?" Balthier coughed and let her go, his hand moving to rub his neck, a habit he shared with Vaan when he didn't know how to answer something.

"We were in Archades." He confessed. Ashe's jaw dropped.

"Archades?" She repeated and he nodded. "What were you doing in Archades? You hate that place." Balthier shifted and looked embarrassed.

"We went to sort out my family's estate." He said, heavily. "I had to do it. I needed to say goodbye to the old man." Ashe's heart went out to him and she reached over to stroke his face. It was the first time she noticed the scar that ran across his temple, a souvenir of The Bahamut, and she traced it gently.

"So, what's to become of it?" She asked. This time, Balthier appeared bashful.

"As strange as it may seem, I'm probably going to keep it." He said to her. "It did use to be home. Before everything when started going wrong, I did love it there. It took going back to remind me there was more to that place then my father. Plus, there are people who live there who are dependant on the place and are used to running it on their own, I can't deny them a home. And if Fran and I ever need somewhere to hide out, it's not a bad place to lay low." Ashe smiled at him again. He really was a puzzle sometimes.

"How is Fran?" She asked, her thoughts turning to the Viera for the first time that evening.

"She's good. She says hello." He grinned at her. "She misses you." Realisation struck the Queen.

"If you were in Archades, why didn't Basch or Larsa tell me?" She frowned, unwilling to believe Basch would keep something so important from her. Balthier rubbed his neck again.

"They didn't know we were in Archades." He admitted. This left Ashe even more confused.

"But Basch and Fran… They… She…" She didn't really know what they were but she knew there was something there. Balthier scoffed.

"Is a total hypocrite!" He finished her sentence. "She wouldn't go and see him. She has tonight finally, Vaan took her to Archades in The Promise earlier today, but you wouldn't believe the amount of grief she gave me about not coming to see you." He shook his head in exasperation.

Ashe bit her lip. The conversation had naturally lead them to a subject she needed answers to more then anything, but she also knew they were answers that could hurt her more then anything else said this night. She steeled herself and pushed forward.

"Balthier, why didn't you come back when you could?" Balthier threw her a glance and put his head in his hands.

"I don't know." He said quietly. "I got injured. I could barely move for a month, barely walk for weeks after that. I started to convince myself you wouldn't want to see me, that you were better off without me. Your mind plays tricks on you when you're stuck in one place, Ashe. I know it's not a very good excuse but the truth is… I was afraid. I'm sorry." Ashe shook her head.

"What about everything you said to me, the morning of the battle? That you weren't going anywhere, that this was worth going against everyone for?" She felt bad for letting some anger into her voice but she was still fairly angry with him. He made her believe one thing yet his actions proved another. Balthier fixed her with his own stare.

"And if you recall you were the one saying about how much opposition there would be to a relationship between us." He shot back. "I thought I might be seen as some sort of a threat. I wasn't sure you would want to see me once you were Queen. I wasn't sure you'd think I was worth the effort."

"Of course you're worth the effort!" Ashe was now shouting at him. "But am I too you? You prefer to run, to take to the skies and live the life of a Sky Pirate!"

"I would give that all up in heartbeat if it meant being with you!" Balthier had raised his own voice to meet hers.

"I would never ask that of you! I would never want you to stop being who you are!"

"But I would though." He said, much more softly and he took her shaking shoulders in his steady hands. "Ashe, don't you understand? All this time without you I have been an absolute wreck. A shell of the man I used to be. Just ask Fran, she'll tell you. I need you in my life, Ashe and I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make that happen. If that means giving up the sky and Fran and being a pirate, then I will!" He looked straight into her eyes. "I love you, Ashelia."

Ashe was so grateful to Balthier for holding her shoulders because at his admission of love for her, she very nearly lost all feeling in her legs. She wanted to burst into tears with happiness. Instead, she reached up for his face and pulled his lips to hers.

The kiss was pure ecstasy, Ashe thought she could drink him in forever. Nothing else mattered to her because he loved her. It was much more frenzied than their earlier kiss, every touch of his tongue on hers sending shivers through to her very core. She could barely register her fingers in his hair, or his hands on her back and her own hair as she pressed her body to his. Eventually they had to break apart and as Ashe tried to bring herself together, she couldn't help but notice, with some amusement, the effect it had on the Sky Pirate. Balthier swallowed hard, and his eyes had gone foggy as he attempted to find some air and refocus.

"I'm sorry, what where you saying?" He asked in a shaky voice. Ashe had to laugh.

"I didn't actually say anything." She replied with a smile. Balthier still wasn't completely back with her so Ashe brought him to attention with her next words. "I love you too, Balthier."

The widest, goofiest smile spread across Balthier's face as he pulled her into a hug. "I meant what I said." He whispered into her hair. "I'd give it all up for you."

"And I meant what I said." She countered. "I don't want you to stop being who you are. I don't want you to resent me, to trap you in a Palace like a caged bird." She placed a hand to his face and looked into his eyes. "But I would wait for you. Until you know you're ready, I'll wait for you." For once in his life, Balthier didn't know what to say.

"You'd do that for me?" Ashe nodded. "But what about Dalmasca?" The Queen quirked her mouth in thought.

"Dalmasca is my life," she said, "but I believe I can find room in my heart for both of you." She kissed him lightly. "It might not be easy, but we'll make it work. I love you." Balthier just stared at her.

"I don't deserve you." He breathed. Ashe flashed him a wicked grin.

"Well, I could have told you that!" They laughed together and sat down on the bench, still holding each other.

"Well, at least the others will stop giving us grief now." Balthier said after a while. "Penelo yelled at me." He confessed.

"I heard. Vaan yelled at me." Balthier turned to his Love in surprise.

"He didn't?!" Ashe nodded. "Well, I never. You didn't let him get away with it, did you?"

"I threw him in the dungeons." Balthier laughed louder than she'd ever heard. "Only for a couple of hours." Balthier wiped at his eyes.

"Oh Ashe, I love you so much." Still sniggering, he leant over to kiss her once more. "So, where do we go from here?" He asked when they pulled apart. Ashe thought about it.

"Did you have anywhere to stay tonight?" She asked, with a glint in her eye. Balthier surveyed her with a smirk.

"Not exactly what I meant but I do like your way of thinking." He let out a long, theatrical sigh and he rubbed his chin. "Well, The Strahl's docked over in the Aerodrome, but it is such a walk. If you can recommend somewhere closer..?" He finished with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. Ashe stood and took his hand.

"Come on, I'll show you the hidden way into the Palace. I've got a feeling you may be needing it."

And with them both beaming, Ashe lead Balthier back to her chambers, where they both had the best night's sleep they had had in months.

Together, in each others arms.