A/N: I'm not dead yet, just zombified, which may or may not reflect in the chapter. This installment is divided into two parts, since I don't have the ability to combine everything I want to write into one chapter without ruining the pace of the story and if I choose to keep it that way, chances are this won't be posted until May, so there you have it. Please feel free to comment and criticize. I can't say when the second part will be up, since it's still being written and rewritten, but I'll try to post it as soon as I can.

15: Stranded and Estranged (Part 1)

Cherry blossoms in the garden of the Kuchiki Mansion were already in full bloom, signifying that yet another winter had passed and spring had arrived to Soul Society. Yet despite the beauty of the scene just outside of his study, Byakuya's slate eyes were kept on an empty window frame as if he was trying to see something that was not there.

The wind chime that used to be hung there was broken two summers ago during one strong summer storm. Although Byakuya wouldn't admit it aloud, he had grown quite attached to the chime, and he might have also been obvious about it, since his butler took notice about how he often looked at the empty window frame and even offered to go out and get him a new chime. However, Byakuya had refused the offer. Because something and someone simply could not be replaced.

Five winters had passed since the last time he saw and heard from the orange-haired Substitute Shinigami who had given the wind chime to him as a gift. There were times, just like in that moment, that he would miss that man's company. However, no matter how many times he thought of Ichigo and wondered where he was or what he had been doing, not once had Byakuya tried to look for the man.

It appeared no one truly understood why he had taken that position. Even Rukia, who had always supported every choice he made and never criticized even when his choice was to allow her to be executed, had clearly been upset with that standpoint that he had taken ever since the Captain Commander Kyōraku Shunsui announced Ichigo's death in the biweekly meeting between captains and lieutenants.

Byakuya recalled that the meeting was held eight days after Ichigo's soul had crossed over to Soul Society. It was announced in a casual tone at the start of the meeting as if it was some insignificant news, which, in a way, it was, for many humans died and were sent to Soul Society each day, so the Gotei 13 would not have enough time to do anything if they were to be concerned with that kind of news. However, in a way it was not insignificant, as Ichigo was not just any soul. He had been working for them as a Substitute Shinigami, and his power had been the key to the victory of the Gotei 13 in its latest two wars...

"...before we proceed with today's agenda, I think you all should know that Ichigo-kun has died. His soul is sent to Soul Society although the exact whereabouts of his soul is unknown."

Since Byakuya had played a part in bringing Ichigo's soul to Soul Society and was more or less responsible for his disappearance, he couldn't fake a surprise. He just was not that good an actor. Other captains and lieutenants, however, did not have the same privilege and were genuinely shocked by the news.

Several gasps could be heard before the room was filled with temporary silence as everyone was still too shocked beyond words. It took all of them a moment to regain their composure, and Byakuya wasn't sure if he should give Renji a credit for being the first to be able to speak or not, as the red-haired lieutenant simply blurted out:

'What do you mean his location is unknown? He can't disappear just like that.'

Byakuya could hear some other meeting attendees mumbling something in agreement with what Renji had said. However, such reaction seemed to be what Kyōraku had expected, since the Captain Commander wasn't fazed by the question at all.

'Well, that's how it usually goes when someone is given a konsō, Renji-kun,' said Kyōraku. 'We all know that the Shinigami who performs a konsō usually has no idea where the soul would actually go afterward.'

'We've gotta look for him, then. I mean, we can't just allow Ichigo to be lost somewhere in Rukongai after everything,' Renji commented, obviously concerned for the man who was arguably one of his best friends.

In any other circumstances, Byakuya would have backed Renji's opinion, if not for his personal relationship with Ichigo then for the fact that Ichigo's death was a direct result of his involvement with Soul Society and, hence, it would be heartless of the Gotei 13 to simply stand by and let Ichigo face his afterlife on his own. However, since he knew it was Ichigo's own decision to disappear so that he could figure out what he wanted to do with his afterlife, Byakuya believed that the very least he could do was to try to grant Ichigo's wish, even if it meant that he might be misunderstood and once again be perceived as a cold, heartless man.

'This is not the first time for him in Soul Society,' Byakuya pointed blandly before Kyōraku could reply to Renji's question. 'Granted the circumstance now may differ from his previous visits, but he certainly knows how to get in touch with us if he so wishes. Therefore, I see no reason for us to waste our time and resources to search for him.'

He could see many disapproving looks from his colleagues, and even his adopted sister who usually took his side stared at him with a mix of disbelief and disappointment. Byakuya couldn't blame her if she should feel that he had betrayed Ichigo by saying the words he had said. After all, Rukia was close enough to both him and Ichigo to know that their relationship had improved even though she might have no idea just how much; therefore, she had the right to expect to see a different reaction from him.

It appeared Rukia wasn't the only one who felt something was off with his previous comment, since the captain of the Fifth Division, Hirako Shinji, raised an eyebrow and asked:

'Isn't that a bit cold, Byakuya? I thought you and Ichigo have already mended your fences, so shouldn't you at least be a little more concerned about his situation?'

Although Byakuya could have used that opportunity to explain himself, he decided it would be easier to be misunderstood. After all, he couldn't think of a way to explain how he came to know Ichigo's wish without telling them that he was chosen to pick up Ichigo from the World of the Living. However, if he were to explain to them, it would raise many more questions, and Byakuya doubted he could answer them all without having a full disclosure on his relationship with Ichigo. It wasn't a lie when he told Ichigo that the boy was not his secret, but that didn't mean that he was willing to broadcast about every single detail of their relationship to the rest of the world.

'I merely stated what I believe to be the most rational response,' he claimed. 'If you disagree with me and want to search for him, I would not object to such a decision.'

'But you're not gonna participate in the search?' Captain Hirako pressed.

'No.'

The answer came quick and without any sign hesitation, making Captain Hirako tilted his head and raise an eyebrow. 'No?'

A scoff came from the captain of the Eleventh Division, Zaraki Kenpachi.

'You shouldn't be so surprised, Hirako,' he said. 'That prissy noble over there probably thinks it's too degrading to set foot in Rukongai even if it was to search for a friend.'

Byakuya shot a cold glare over to Zaraki Kenpachi before he remarked in an equally cold tone:

'You don't know anything about me, Zaraki Kenpachi, and you most definitely have no idea how I feel about this whole situation, so you don't have the right to judge me.'

'Oh?' Zaraki said, raising an eyebrow in a somewhat interested gesture. 'Enlighten me, then.'

Before Byakuya could answer, he was interrupted by Kyōraku himself.

'Now, now, let's not fight,' the captain commander said in a tone that was usually used to stop children from fighting one another.

'Has the Central 46 Chambers been informed of this?' Ukitake asked once the meeting room was back in order.

Byakuya's eyes widened slightly when the Central 46 Chambers was mentioned. For Ichigo's sake, he hoped they would not be informed of the news, for he doubted Ichigo would be able to choose his own fate if that were to be the case. Ichigo might have fought two wars for Soul Society as a Substitute Shinigami, but as far as the Central 46 Chambers was concerned, he was still a loose cannon and a very powerful one at that. They would not let Ichigo live his life in peace even if Ichigo were to take an oath never to go against Soul Society in his life. They would do everything in their power to make sure Ichigo either be on their side or be eliminated from the equation entirely.

'Hmm... I don't think this is a matter that we need to bother the Central 46 Chambers with,' Kyōraku replied thoughtfully.

Byakuya closed his eyes and sighed in relief, although when he thought about it more carefully, he realized he shouldn't have been worried about it to begin with. After all, Kyōraku probably never considered reporting to the Central 46 Chambers to begin with or otherwise he wouldn't have been so discreet about it when he sent Byakuya to retrieve Ichigo's soul from Karakura Town.

'So what do we do?' Hitsugaya asked.

'Well, Kuchiki-taichō has a good point about Ichigo-kun and his knowledge of Soul Society, so it won't be necessary to set up any official search parties,' Kyōraku replied. 'However, if any of you want to go out to Rukongai and look for him, you can feel free to do so when you're off duty. And of course, if you do find him, please let him know he's welcome to join us in the Gotei 13 whenever he wants. Now, shall we move on to the real agenda…'

The rest of the meeting had gone by rather quickly that day. Byakuya recalled how his sister and some other lieutenants lingered behind after the meeting was adjourned to discuss their plan to search for Ichigo. He remembered the way she looked at him as if to ask him to change his mind and join them in the search, and he could tell how upset she had been when he simply ignored the look and left the meeting room as if he couldn't be bothered by Ichigo's disappearance.

Even though it had been five years since that day, he could tell that Rukia was still upset with his decision although she had never voiced her thought aloud, and he couldn't blame her for feeling that way. For all she knew, Ichigo was the closest person Byakuya had to a friend. Therefore, he couldn't see how she would be able to understand why he simply stood by and left Ichigo to his own fate when Byakuya had more than enough resources to track down anyone he wanted in Soul Society.

Byakuya sighed softly and looked at the empty window frame again for another moment before he turned his attention back to his desk. He then picked up a calligraphy set that he had prepared earlier and headed out of the room.

It had been so uneventful in the Gotei 13 that sometimes Byakuya wondered if all troubles that had ever occurred in the past were results of the schemes that either the Quincy or Aizen Sōsuke had cooked up so there had not been any threats to Soul Society since they were dealt with. It wasn't that Byakuya did not enjoy the peace and hoped for something bad to happen, but he was used to a very busy lifestyle that all Shinigami had during the time Soul Society was still recovering from the war. He simply wanted to have something to do to keep himself busy so that he would not have time to think useless thoughts, which was probably one of the reasons why he agreed to be a special lecturer on Calligraphy in the Shinō Academy when the invitation came to him three years ago.

That day was the first day of the calligraphy's lecture in the new academic year, and Byakuya was expected to be there with the main lecturer to give his welcome to the students who had enrolled to the course. Since Calligraphy was an elective course, Byakuya was slightly curious to see how many students had registered themselves to the class in that academic year and how many of them were truly interested in the subject and how many were just there because they wanted the credit and thought they would easily be able to get a good grade from the course. Either way, he was going to find out soon enough since he was heading out of the Kuchiki Mansion to the Shinō Academy for that first lecture.

Just as Byakuya was about to reach to the main gate of the mansion, he could see that Rukia was also heading there from a different direction. She was carrying a sack which probably contained her clothes or some other necessary supplies on her left shoulder. Rukia halted for a second when she also spotted him, but then she took a deep breath before she approached to him and then bowed her head as greeting.

"Good morning, nii-sama," she greeted. "I didn't know you'd be home today."

"Actually, I'm about to be off to the Shinō Academy," he replied.

"Oh, now that you mention it, I remember the academic year start this week."

Byakuya nodded. "It does. What about you, Rukia? You don't look like you're heading to the Thirteenth Division."

Rukia hesitated for a second, and that one second was more than enough to confirm to Byakuya that wherever she planned to go and whatever she planned to do on that day had to have something to do with her and her friend's attempts to look for Ichigo or otherwise she wouldn't have hesitated to tell him. In fact, he could tell that she always avoided talking about the subject in order not to offend him, even though Byakuya had made it clear that he wouldn't stand in anyone's way if they were to try to look for Ichigo although he would not be a part of the attempt.

"Renji and I are going to Rukongai today," Rukia replied and then pursed her lips for a second as if she was contemplating whether she should give him more details. "I know you're probably not interested, nii-sama, but we've just received words about an orange-haired hero who showed up to dispatch Hollows that attacked the Seventieth District yesterday."

"In other words, you believe your search will be a success this time?" Byakuya asked.

"Yes, nii-sama, I really do believe that," Rukia replied, "which is why I thought I'd mention it to you so you wouldn't be too surprised if you should find Ichigo in Seireitei today."

Byakuya didn't want to spoil Rukia's confident by pointing out to her that if Ichigo had been successful in staying under the radar for five years, she would not be able to catch him even though it had only been one day after he reappeared into the surface. After all, Ichigo was a shunpo expert, so by the time they reached to where he had exposed himself, he could have already been miles away from there unless Ichigo voluntarily made his presence known in order to be found.

The thought made Byakuya close his eyes for a brief moment, as the possibility of seeing Ichigo again on that day struck him with several feelings. While he had often thought of Ichigo, he never actually imagined how he would feel should they see each other again after the years that had gone by.

Five years might not be considered a long time in Soul Society's standard, but it was still long enough for someone to have changed into a completely different person. Not much might have changed in Byakuya's side, but Ichigo could have changed from the way Byakuya remembered him, and whatever they might have shared in the past might have become nothing more to Ichigo than just a fading memory. And though it was one of the scenarios that he had predicted since a long time ago, it didn't mean that he would be ready for it yet.

"I won't be surprised to see him, Rukia. After all, I know he would return at some point. It is just a matter of time until he does," Byakuya commented, "but thank you for letting me know in advance."

Rukia took a long look at him before she took a deep breath as if to try to gather her courage and asked, "Do you want him to be found, nii-sama?"

"It doesn't really matter what I want, does it?" Byakuya returned. "What really matters is whether he wants to be found."

Rukia furrowed her brows. "What are you talking about, nii-sama? Why wouldn't Ichigo want to be found?"

"Perhaps you should ask him that when you find him," Byakuya suggested. "After all, I couldn't possibly know what's going on in his mind better than he does, could I?"

Rukia narrowed her eyes. If the look in those violet eyes told Byakuya anything, it would be that she began to suspect that he knew something more than he had let on.

"In any case, I should be going," Byakuya remarked, changing the subject. "It would be bad for me to be late for my own lecture. Good luck with your search."

And with that, Byakuya headed off to the direction of the Shinō Academy, leaving Rukia at the gate to try to figure out what he actually knew and what he did not.

"The first class went quite smoothly, don't you agree, Kuchiki-taichō?"

The permanent lecturer on Calligraphy commented soon after the class was dismissed and he and Byakuya had left the lecture room together. The lecturer appeared to be a middle-aged man with a medium build. However, the man was much older than he looked as he had been giving lectures on calligraphy in the Shinō Academy for almost as long as Byakuya remembered. In fact, he had also given Byakuya some pointers in calligraphy when Byakuya was still a hot-headed boy.

"Yes, sensei, it went well," Byakuya agreed.

"I cannot help noticing, however, that your brush strokes are not as fluid as usual today. It is as if there is some anxiety in your heart."

Byakuya looked down to the ground for a brief moment before he sighed softly.

"I suppose the brush strokes cannot lie," he said. "Yes, sensei, something is bothering me today."

"Do you want to talk about it?" the lecturer asked.

"I cannot see how talking about it would help, when the matter that has me concerned is beyond my control. Even if I should talk to anyone about it, in the end, all I could do would be keeping waiting."

"Talking about it to someone else may not solve your problem, Kuchiki-taichō, but it would still be better to share the load in your heart with someone than to bear it all by yourself," the old man noted. "Of course, you don't have to talk to me about it if you do not feel comfortable to, but perhaps you might want to consider discussing it with someone you chose to entrust your heart to."

Byakuya nodded as if he agreed with the older man's point.

"I know, sensei, but at this point, I'm more used to keeping things to myself than sharing it with anyone. Besides, the person I feel I could entrust with every content of my heart is no longer within my reach," he remarked. "I'll find my own way to deal with it, somehow. But thank you for your concerns."

The lecturer nodded as if he had anticipated that answer from Byakuya.

"Sometimes I don't know which one I prefer between the wild boy who always wears his heart on his sleeve or the reserved man who keeps everything bottled up inside his heart."

Byakuya snickered humorlessly.

"Sometimes I don't know which one I prefer either, sensei."

The old lecturer gave the younger man a kind smile. "In any case, I hope you will be able to restore peace to your heart very soon, Kuchiki-taichō."

Byakuya nodded as if to say thank you to the older man. "I hope so too, sensei."

The lecturer accepted Byakuya's words of gratitude with a nod, and after that they walked quietly together until they reached to the main hall where all corridors were connected.

"Well, I'll be going this way," the lecturer announced, motioning to the west hallway. "What about you, Kuchiki-taichō? Are you heading back to the Gotei 13?"

"Yes, sensei. I'll see you again in my next lecture."

"I'll see you then, Kuchiki-taichō."

Byakuya gave the older man a slight bow of his head as an expression of farewell. The lecturer returned the gesture in kind before he headed down the path where he had said he would be going. Seeing that, Byakuya turned around. However, instead of following the long wooden porch that would lead him out of the Shinō Academy, Byakuya decided to take a shortcut through the garden.

Just like at the Kuchiki Mansion, the garden in the Shinō Academy was also filled with the pale pink color of cherry blossoms that were in full bloom in early spring. He could see many students hanging about in the garden, either having a chat or merely viewing the flowers.

Since his intention was only to take the shortest route out of the Academy, he didn't plan to make any stop on his way for any reasons. However, as fate would have it, he came to a halt when he saw a pair of male and female students heading toward his general direction. Since they seemed so engaged in their conversation, Byakuya doubted they noticed him, which was probably a good thing because Byakuya was certain that he wouldn't be able to keep a normal expression should they notice him there at that time.

"...I still don't get why you don't like sakura viewing. I mean, they're beautiful and they would only bloom for a short period," the female student said to her companion as they both headed closer to where Byakuya stood with his eyes widened.

He recognized the woman as Fujiwara Saeko, the student who completed the Calligraphy course with the best score in the previous year. However, the person that really caught his eyes was not her but the man with long dark hair and brown eyes that had a hint of red within them.

"Let's just say something happened and I could never look at them in the same way ever since," the male student replied.

Although the hair color was not in the shade of orange and those eyes were not in the same umber shade that he was used to seeing and not to mention the man's spiritual presence was far less powerful and had a different feel to it from how Byakuya remembered, Byakuya was certain that the man who was walking in his general direction was definitely the same person with the man who had disappeared from his life since five years ago.

"Ichigo..."

Byakuya was certain that he didn't utter the name which he had not spoken once in the past five years any louder than a whisper. However, the pair was deemed to notice him regardless of whether they heard him speak or not because he was still standing there and more or less staring at them - or at least at one of them anyway.

"Ah, Kuchiki-sensei!" Fujiwara called his name in a way of greeting. "Good morning. You must be here to give a lecture."

"Yes. I just finished the lecture," he heard himself replying to her although his eyes were still on the man who was standing half a step behind his friend, staring back at Byakuya with a look of recognition. "I have not seen you in a while. How have you been?"

Although the question was supposed to be at Fujiwara, his eyes were still on her companion as if he wished to direct his question to the man.

"All is great, sensei! The lesson is a lot tougher this year, since we're in the fourth year now and everything is kinda in advance level," she replied. Then as if she noticed his eyes on her friends, she decided to introduce him although the introduction was not truly necessary. "Oh forgive my rudeness, sensei, I forgot to introduce my friend, Kurosaki."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow slightly at the name. If Ichigo had gone through the trouble to adopt a new appearance, he expected that Ichigo would change his name as well. However, he still kept his name - or at least his family name - since Fujiwara did not introduce Ichigo with his full name. However, what surprised Byakuya most was not what Ichigo might or might not have done about his appearance and his name, but the fact that Ichigo had learned how to control his spiritual power to the point that the amount of power Byakuya could feel from him was just the amount of power that he would expect to feel from any ordinary students of the Shinō Academy.

Seeing Ichigo that way explained to Byakuya why Ichigo's friends had never been able to locate Ichigo despite all the time and efforts they had spent searching for him. After all, the Shinō Academy would be the last place for anyone to look; and should they even try to look in the Shinō Academy, they would probably focus on students from the advance class, not some ordinary students who studied under a normal curriculum.

Since Ichigo didn't say any word to greet Byakuya right away, Fujiwara not-so-lightly nudged at his side. No matter how much Ichigo might have changed, the one thing that didn't change was the fact that his good friend was still a kind of bossy woman.

"Oi, Kurosaki, where are your manners? Hurry up and greet Kuchiki sensei. You know, he's not only a guest lecturer in calligraphy course..."

"But also the current head of one of Four Great Noble Houses and the captain of the Sixth Division of the Gotei 13, I know," Ichigo said, completing his friend's sentence.

Fujiwara raised an eyebrow.

"You know?" she asked, somewhat disbelieved. "That's a surprise. I thought you never paid any attention to the History of the Gotei 13 course, since you barely passed the test."

"As I told you before, Fujiwara, I didn't do well in that course because the answer they want isn't the same with what I remember."

"In other word, you didn't study hard enough for the test," she stated. Then she seemed to recall that Byakuya was still standing there watching them as they spoke to one another although the banter she had with her friend probably made her forget that Ichigo had yet to greet Byakuya either by saying a simple good morning or by giving him a bow like a student should to a lecturer. "Anyway, I'm sorry we ignored you for a moment there, sensei. That was rude of us."

"Do not worry about it," Byakuya replied. "I assume you two are going to your lecture, so do not let me stop you."

Fujiwara widened her eyes as if she just remembered that she had a lecture to attend.

"Ah! Yes, we are. Thank you for reminding me, sensei. We should go now, so please excuse us."

With that said, Fujiwara gave Byakuya a polite bow as a farewell. She was about to continue on her way when she realized that her friend was still standing on the same spot, staring at Byakuya with a look that was impossible to decipher. So she once again nudged her friend in a not-so-gentle manner.

"I'm glad to see that you are doing well," Byakuya said softly just before they parted. It appeared to be a proper parting word, since Fujiwara simply flashed him a smile without any suspicion, even though the sentence was meant for Ichigo.

Ichigo opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something; however, he swallowed his words and gave Byakuya a slight nod although Byakuya wasn't sure if the nod was meant to acknowledge his words or merely his own way of bidding farewell or both. Then Ichigo followed his friend before he needed to be nudged again.

After they left, Byakuya closed his eyes. Many feelings had hit him all at once, as he saw how much Ichigo seemed to have changed over the years they had been apart that Byakuya no longer knew where they stood in each other's life anymore. However, among those feelings, there was one feeling that he was certain of and that was that he was truly glad to see that Ichigo had been doing well.

Because no matter how many things might have changed, the one thing that would never change was the fact that he wanted Ichigo to find happiness... even if his happiness did not include him.