Chapter 3
Three days have passed. Three days since I watched my father die. The way he sputtered and gasped for air, vivid in my vampire mind just like watching a movie. It was all so unfair! Why? Why hadn't he let me change him? He would have been coming around now, having finished his transformation. Instead, he was laying in Forks hospital morgue, waiting to be buried.
"He didn't want it my love." I had heard him walk in, his footsteps so easily identifiable. I didn't have the shield down, but I knew it wouldn't be hard for him to figure out what I was brooding about. "He never wanted to be that deep in our world." Edwards consoling voice working a little of its magic.
"Watching him die," I turned my eyes to meet his, and in them I saw all of the sorrow that he felt, and all of his love for me, making me yearn for his touch, " it was the first time I felt like a monster. Knowing that I would never be able to have a conversation with him again, realizing that every other human that I love will face the same fate. I almost bit him without giving him the chance to answer, I wasn't worried about killing him. I knew I would be able to pull away, but...." Edward wrapped his arms around me, his hand rubbing my head that was buried in his chest.
"You did the right thing," he pulled my face up to his and kissed me, " you did what was best." I lifted my shield, not wanting to talk anymore, ' thank you.' We laid on our bed in the cottage that we had abandoned so long ago for the rest of the night, waiting for day to break.
I thought back to the cover that we had to use, and the new wave of sadness washed over me. Charlie had been down at La Push when he had the heart attack, and they tried to resuscitate him there, end of story, no questions asked. Not being able to sleep, waiting for the sun, made the grieving that much harder, I never got a break from it. I felt it creeping up on me, something that I thought was forever gone...a feeling, a feeling from a human memory. I felt like a zombie, except this time, I had the love of my life with me.
Day finally came, bringing rain and a dull light. Edward broke the silence first, "Bella my love, we have to make funeral arrangements," His beautiful voice soft and compelling.
"Yeah....I know." Edward untangled himself from me and sat at the edge of the bed, a statue. "Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"I want to see Renee." He turned to me and gave me a small smile. His perfect face marred by the pain it expressed.
"Of course." I knew that this was going to be tough, we had never said anything to her. The family decided that she would not handle the news, that her daughter was now a vampire, very well. Another part of my decision was to keep her safe from the Volturi, and that wasn't going to change. I sat there, going through ways on how to keep her out of the loop, My brain allowing me to go through scenarios faster than a regular human.
4 days
The rain was still falling, though it had gotten progressively harder. The casket lay suspended over the grave ready to be lowered. A small group of people huddled around it, everyone that was in on the supernatural secret and close to Charlie.
Billy spoke up first, "He was my best friend, I could always count on him for good company during a game. Boy he sure liked to talk about you Bella, I had never seen him be so happy about anything as when he found out you were coming to live with him. I know he didn't talk very much around you, but I couldn't get him to shut up when you weren't around. He just didn't know how to talk to you, he was afraid that he would do something to run you off just like Renee." Billy's face was occupied by a sad grin as he talked of the memories with my father.
At his last sentence, a human memory made it to the surface. It was clouded but the image of Charlie's face was clear enough. I had just told him that I hated it here in Forks, and that I was getting out of here. I remembered that I used the exact words that my mom had when she left, and the look of pain on his face. The one thing that he didn't want to do, and I made him believe that he had done just that. How much pain I had put him through? We stood there as everyone that wanted, told of their memories of Charlie. Soon the rumble of engines could be heard as the procession came into the cemetery. Emmett and Rose turned and vanished into the woods, Jasper set his hand on Alice's shoulder and they followed. Esme and Carlisle went a little slower then the rest, Carlisle looking like he was ushering her along. Then the only vampires left at the grave were me, Edward, and Renesmee, "Go Edward, I'll be there in a moment."
"I have a better idea," he let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist, "I am going to stay with you."
"I'm going to stay with Jake mom." I started to protest, but realized it would be alright, no one would know who she was.
The sound of the cars got closer, and then they were on the other side of the small hill. I turned and was at the edge of the forest in a second, Edward never leaving my side. Alice and Jasper were sitting on a fallen log, Alice with her hands in her face. She ran instead of her usual dance and wrapped me in a hug. "Oh Bella." I could hear other voices now, voices I hadn't heard in a long time. Mike and Tyler were walking together, both having changed so much with time. Behind them Lauren and Jessica walked, each holding a smaller hand. The young boy next to Jessica ripped his hand out of hers and ran into Mike's arms. Lauren and Jessica stood together on one side of Tyler, who held his daughters hand with Lauren, and Mike holding his son on the other side. Ben and Angela were next, three young teenagers in their tow. Everyone stared in awe at the size of the gang from La Push, and at the beauty of Renesmee who stood with them.
Mike recognized Jacob right away, giving him a slight nod. Jake nodded in return and christened Mike with a new name of, "Pukey." This brought a smile to my face, Edward looked quizzically at me not in on the joke. Mike however just turned red while his son still looked at Jacob with wide eyes. More and more people showed up, until almost the entire town of Forks was at Charlie's grave side. People stood around chatting quietly, though I could here them like I was right there. I could here one final car rolling down the drive and then it stopped behind all the others. I smelled her before I saw her, Renee had finally shown up. She looked so old, just like she should. She walked, more of a shuffle now, hunched over. Her face fallen prey to gravity, but behind the wrinkles, I could still see my mother Renee. Phil stayed at the car, giving her space. She made her way to the graveside, the La Push pack making a path for her. She stopped next to Billy's wheelchair and put a hand on his shoulder, and he laid a hand on hers.
"Its good to see you Renee."
"You too Billy." Renee stopped and looked at Renesmee, looking her up and down, then shook her head as if shaking away a thought.
I didn't watch as my mother and Billy made their greeting. I flew from the forest, stopping at Renee's car to slip a letter in. I was back in the woods without any human noticing, having barely taken more than a second.
Night had settled, and I waited for the signal. Edward, Ness, and I waited outside the local hotel. Waiting for the specific third story window to open, that being the signal to enter. "I will go in first and warm her up to it, and then you guys can come in if its fine." They both nodded there heads and then we turned to see the window sliding open and Renee standing there in the dark room.
"I don't know why Phil had to leave, he's her step dad for goodness sake. Whats with the damn window too," she kept mumbling as she walked away. I flew into the room without making a sound and found Renee standing in the hallway peering both ways watching for me. "How long are you going to make me wait Bella?"
I stood in her room, watching her, taking in every second, knowing this would likely be the last time I would get to see her. "Hey mom, long time no see," she started and clutched her chest.
"Bella? Is that you?" My mom started to come inside squinting her eyes trying to see me better in the darkness of her room.
"Yeah, its me."
"Oh hohoho! Bella I've missed you so much!" She started to hurry back into her room searching for the light. "Let me just find this light so I can see you."
"Hold on a minute mom, I have some things to tell you before you see me."
She froze in her search, a look of worry showing on her face. "Bella is everything alright? You sound different."
"Yes everything is fine, you should come sit down." She sat in the first bed still trying to see me in the dim light from the hallway.
"Mom," I hesitated unsure of how to continue. I thought back to when Jake phased in front of Charlie, and how easy it had been to talk to Charlie after that, " before I turn on the light, you have to know about some things that have changed. They are going to be hard to believe at first and I'm not going to tell you everything, but thats for your own protection."
"Bella I...it's all fine, just turn on the damn light."
"Be prepared for a shock mom, I don't want to startle you into a heart attack." I bit my lip and ghosted over to the door and shut it. Renee gasped at the sudden complete darkness, and then gasped again as I turned on the light. "Hey mom."
"What...the...hell....is going on? Bella...is that...really you?"
"Ya mom, its me."
"It can't be, you....you....,"
I cut her off hoping to make things a little clearer, " maybe you would believe me better if Edward was here." In that instant, Edward appeared in the window. I walked over to him, into his embrace at his side. Renee gasped again as she realized we weren't the only two in the room anymore.
"Edward?"
"Hello Renee."
"You look...exactly the same as the first time I saw you..."
"Thats one of the things I need to talk to you about mom." An edge was in my voice now, I hoped that she didn't go in hysterics.
"You still look so young Bella, like you've been frozen in time. I would say that you look the same, but you don't...you've become...so beautiful, more beautiful then you already were...," she stood now and shuffled over to me raising a hand to touch my face.
"Mom," I said as I moved away from her touch, "please listen to me, this is important."
"How?" Renee now looked less startled and more intrigued than anything else.
"Mother, you're right, Edward and I don't age," it felt better to just blurt it out rather then try to pad it, " in fact, Edward is 135 years old." She stopped and stared at Edward, appraising him, trying to see the years in his face.
"I wanted to see you mother, to tell you that we are all fine...I just had to see you, originally we planned to never let you in on the secret but I couldn't do it now, not after dad...." I trailed off unable to continue, Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and I felt secure. "Anyways, there is someone we would like you to meet." Renesmee jumped through the window behind us, but I couldn't take my eyes off Renee. I watched her, waiting for her to snap in disbelief. "Mom, this is your grand-daughter...Renesmee." Ness walked around Edward and stopped at his side as he put his other arm around her.
Renee stuttered for a few seconds before managing to get out the word, "Grand-daughter?" Renesmee hadn't looked any different from the final photo that we had sent of her, we couldn't send anymore after she stopped changing.
Ness gave a small wave, "Hey Grandma." After this Renee's legs gave out and I had to catch her before she hit the floor. At the cold touch of my skin, another gasp escaped her lips. "So cold." The night continued on and we all made small talk and informed her just enough to keep her protected. It hadn't been long before Edward whispered that Phil was coming up to check on Renee at a sound level that she could not hear. I shifted my weight off the bed effortlessly, Edward and Renesmee doing the same. "You're leaving?" My face must have given me away because she continued, "You can't leave yet! I haven't seen you in so long!"
"No mom, its time we go." I could feel my frozen heart grow heavy in my chest. At the start of the night it seemed that Renee had retained most of her mental acuity, but after spending some time with her it was obvious that she had lost a lot. "You need your rest." This really would be the last time that I would ever get to see Renee, and it hurt that it was only for such a short time. As we all stood, the elevator at the end of the hall sounded, Phil's short shuffling steps started.
"Bella you are being silly, I can go all night." She tried to stand, and I watched as she struggled with the effort. Renesmee wrapped her in a hug and lifted her to her feet.
"I love you grandma."
"Oh Nessie, I love you too." I moved in as Renesmee moved away and held my mother firmly, making sure not to hurt her.
"Good bye mom," I could feel the pain, it flooded my body as I said my second final farewell to someone I loved. I held her for a few more seconds, Phil's steps coming ever closer. Finally, the sound of the door unlocking got Renee's attention, her head turning to see the source of the noise. In that instant I vanished from the room, speeding back out the window. I didn't stop running, even when I heard Renee proclaim that she had just seen us, Phil mumbling to himself about craziness and closing the window. Edwards fingers entwined with mine, and he just looked at me as we ran.
"Bella my love, do not worry about her pain. Tomorrow when she wakes, she will only remember how much you love her, and she you."
"It just...sucks. I knew that this was part of it, but I was in my own little world." Edward lifted my hand to kiss it and left me to my thoughts as we ran back to the Cullen house. When we got back, everyone was sitting in their separate pairs, Renesmee moving to Jake's side. It seemed like hours that no one moved, until Jake stood and moved into the kitchen to rummage for food. My mind had been filled with feelings of pain and loss, then those bred something greater, something that would truly shake my world if it was agreed upon. It didn't make any sense though, I didn't want to put any pressure on the rest of the family. Never the less, I would at least say something to Edward.
Out of the corner of my eye I caught Alice sitting up, the look on her face staring back at me. One of mixed feelings, confusion being the most prominent. No! No, no, no, no no! She saw the change in my future, or at least my future turning fuzzy as I still had not made up my mind on a lot of things. Other eyes started to turn to her as they sensed her movement, and I shook my head side to side, the movement so small it shouldn't attract any more attention. Alice laid back against Jasper, and Edward's hand tightened on mine, drawing my attention to his face. Lifting my shield,
"We need to find a quiet place to talk." Quickly, I sped out the window and Edward was on my heels. Once we were a safe distance from the house I stopped and he stopped right on my heels.
"Whats bothering you Bella?"
"I want," I paused, taking a breath I did not need, using the time to stall, "to move. I don't want to say anything to the rest of the family, I don't want them to feel pressured."
"Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know! I just want to get out of Forks, the things that I loved and were keeping me here are gone now. If I stay, I will only see things thats I have memories of Charlie in, it just wouldn't be fair to you or Nessie with me being depressed."
"Stop, you don't have to say anymore. Are you sure about this?" He was looking off into the distance, thinking.
"Yes"
"Lets go home then, lets pack"
It took me a reeeeally long time to finish this. Not because I was stuck, but because of life outside of writing this fanfic. Don't worry though! The 4th chap is being worked out in my head as I type this. It is going to pick up, new characters are going to come into play, it is not going to be as gloomy (YAY, seriously writing this chapter made me feel depressed lol), and there is even going to be a budding relationship for a vampire from the book *dun, dun, dun* in the near future...who can it be?