Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect or variation of Les Miserables. That genius belongs to Victor Hugo and all of those who followed.
Title: Reprieve
Summary: Sometimes life gives us a second chance, but are we too weak to take advantage of this gift? Javert had thought he would die; he had hoped he would die. However, it seemed that life had not finished with him just yet. How can he hope to make a new start with all that had transpired? Life has an answer to that, as well.
Author's Note: Again, I apologize about the lengthy intermission between chapters. I am still looking to end the story soon and more or less being led by the characters now toward the outcome. I want to try to keep the characters true to their original nature, while still attempting to portray how they would now be changed. If that makes sense…So I do apologize if their behavior in these last chapters strays from whatever it is you believe them to be. It is a very fine balancing act I attempt, and, I will always be the first to admit, I am not always successful.
Chapter 9
- Harmony
He realized instantly, with dread, that she had said his name—his true name. However, he was so struck with horror at the revelation that he could not move. He could not speak. In fact, it was a wonder at all that he still managed to breath. He used the important seconds that passed to determine how exactly he was going to react and what he would do. As he saw it, there were two options at his disposal.
Option one, he could completely succumb to the new persona he was meant to adopt. He could consider what it was that Jori would do and thus react. He could take into consideration the past—what had happened back then; how he had affected the lives of his host and hostess and shaped their current situation. He could certainly determine what it was exactly that he owed them for how he had behaved long ago. He supposed that his new character would throw himself at the hem of her gown and beg forgiveness for having ever caused her harm in the first place.
Option two, he could finally become who he truly was. That would mean becoming Javert once again.
Perhaps the most determining factor in his rough decision was the young woman standing before him. Needless to say, mixed with the slew of other emotions currently raging within him, he felt disappointment—disappointment over the fact that Cosette was unable to see past his old self and the man he once was; disappointment that she would only ever see him as Inspector Javert.
Therefore, Javert stood up to face Cosette, quite unexpectedly. The old scowl returned to mar his features, thus transforming his appearance into the recognizable inspector of the past. Cosette was quite taken aback by this sudden brash action. She inadvertently took a single step backward and her hand rushed to her chest in surprise. Yet, she managed to maintain eye contact, which had certainly been a feat with the old inspector.
"I see now that you will always have this prejudice," he announced bluntly, causing her cheeks to become rosy. "I will always be Inspector Javert to you."
"What would you have of me?" she peeped. "That is who you are. You cannot escape from it."
"Yes, but there is always a chance to change." He strode past her, pacing back and forth with his hands clasped behind his back. "Do you think I have just been laying in wait for a chance to strike at you when you least expect it? Or did it ever cross your mind that perhaps you are not the only two attempting to move on with your life?"
Javert stopped in front of the window and stared out at it. His eyes went unseeing, as his mind worked and occupied his attention. He breathed deeply, his heart pounding with the adrenaline and exertion. He had secretly hoped that the brief pause would allow Cosette to utter some words of reassurance. For one reason or another, he hadn't given up on her yet.
"You know," he began softly, rather nervous to continue, "we are not so different, you and I. Perhaps that was what attracted me to you initially. You were born of a common whore, but so was I. When we are dealt such a fate, there are only two choices: we can either succumb to the expectations of our birth or we can rise above it. I made my decision. I chose to follow the path that the convict that I had been conceived from never did. Instead of working outside of the law, I decided to follow within its confines."
He sighed. "But you." He pivoted around slowly to look at her. His gaze was cold and hard. It bore into little, petite Cosette. "You have somehow flourished despite the world you were born into. But perhaps what is curious most of all is that you managed to accomplish this without having to sacrifice either body or soul."
Cosette studied his eyes, which held the most sincerity she had ever known, as well as the greatest sadness she had seen in a while. He was attempting to hold his resolve, but there were so many answers that he sought. He sought her out to show him the path that he had somehow overlooked.
"I wasn't able to survive alone," she managed, regaining her ground, but still quite unsure of the situation. "There was one man who lighted the way for me. If it wasn't for him, I am sure my life would be fairly different now."
Javert chuckled, which turned into a throaty and incredulous laugh. He shook his head, turning away again. "Yes, Jean Valjean." He said the name with such distaste, his lip curling in disgust. "This may come as quite a surprise to you, but I no longer hate the man. Do you know why I made it my duty to track him down for all of those years?"
He checked her over his shoulder and when she didn't respond, he continued. "Honestly, the man was an enigma to me. How was it possible that a felon could alter all of my expectations, all of my beliefs? How could he completely shift everything that I had known? It was necessary that I bring him to justice in order to satisfy my own desires. I needed to see him as the convict that he was so that my world would remain whole. After all, who ever heard of an escaped parolee releasing the man who had hunted him for years when holding his life in his hands?" He paused dramatically, studying his reflection in the darkened glass. "That was why I jumped," he admitted. "My entire world had shattered. I knew nothing. How could I continue to live with the realization that my entire life had been a lie?"
Cosette studied his back. There was little else she could do. She was afraid to say a word, even mutter a peep. There was no telling where exactly he was headed with this speech. She was intrigued to see it to its end, as well as invested at that point. When silence befell the room, she was unsure whether or not she should fill the gap. She opened her mouth to say something. In fact, anything would do at that moment. But, before any sound could issue forth, Javert interrupted.
"You are probably wondering why I am imparting all of this to you?" Javert pivoted on his heel to face her again. "You are probably asking yourself why now?" He shrugged, taking a step or two closer to her. "No real reason, I suppose. Maybe you remind me a little of him. Maybe you, too, are somewhat of an enigma to me. Like Valjean, you seem to turn my world upside down and make me question everything about it."
"Sir," she addressed, for his presence now called for such formalities, "you hardly know me. You hardly know anything about me. I do not understand. How is it possible I can impact your life so?"
Javert stepped closer to her. She was very aware of their proximity. The blush on her cheeks told of that. He towered over her, threatening and bold. Yet, she knew she had to maintain her ground. She refused to back down or to show any weakness whatsoever. Not only was defiance quite apparent on her mind, but she was also drawn to his fervor.
"Don't you see, Cosette? I do not have to know every detail about you because I am you. You are me. We are one in the same, but told through different stories and different circumstances." His voice remained level and calculating. There was no sign of enthusiasm or depression. It was simply Javert.
"Therefore," he continued on, "you must understand why I cannot linger another moment here with you. It is destructive to merely be in your presence any longer. It is clear that I am only and always will be Inspector Javert to you. I know now that you will not alter your perspective of me anytime soon. But, perhaps, just perhaps, I can make it possible someday."
There was no telling what came over her. It could have been her emotions completely invested in that moment. It could have been the spark in the way he looked at her. It could have even been that she knew precisely what he meant and how he felt. Everything he spoke was true. She knew that, but she had never realized before just how much she could relate to him.
It could have been all of those possibilities, but in that moment she didn't consider any of them. For, in that instant, she took hold of him and drew him in toward her, while simultaneously drawing herself closer to him. It was in that instant that she laid her lips upon his—that she forced herself into a kiss that bonded the two in the moment.