Disclaimer: Er, wrong country. You're looking for Japan.

A/N: Wow, I guess putting this into the Usagi/Mamoru category helped things along a lot! My readers have doubled, as have the alerts, and OMG! What awesome reviews! This is for: Eva C, Lady Razeli, cardcaptor eternity, sakuraK155, twilightlover05, mystic soilder, mae-E, Emily, Double G, Amydali86, Idsprincess, and heatqueen. Thank you more than words can express!

Self Destruct

Rated T

Part 13: "Impressions Born Of Depression"

Raye knocked hard, breathing quick and fast as her heart raced itself into panic.

"Oh God, please, open the door Mrs. Tsukino... please..." Raye prayed feverishly, thinking that if the door didn't open within three seconds, she was going to break it down. Luckily, she was saved that approach as Ikuko opened the door.

"Oh, hello Raye. School out early?"

"I need to see Serena," was all the fire maiden said, racing by Ikuko and running up the stairs at top speed. She left behind a confused mother in her hurried wake.

"Please, Serena, don't do it... don't let me be too late," Raye nearly sobbed to herself, putting her whole feeling into her words. She could hear Luna panting behind her. The raven-haired girl spotted the door with the bunny on it immediately, and shot like a rocket towards her obstacle.

She didn't even notice when the door flew open without her even touching it. It was as if her raw power was going haywire. All that was going through her head was,

Must get to Serena.

Must get to Serena.

And so she did.

"SERENA, NO!" Raye cried, desperate, as she skidded into her friend's room and took in the scene.

Serena was on her bed, kneeling, knife poised at her heart and eyes squeezed shut. Dried tear tracks went down from them.

If Raye had only been a few seconds late, the knife would have been plunged into the girl's heart when she got there. Her Princess would have been gone. Dead.

But she had made it, just in time, and Raye praised the fates that be that they had delivered her at the right second.

Serena's eyes flew open in surprise to see a frantic Raye in her doorway, eyes wide and staring at the knife's position with something akin to worst fear shining in her eyes. Luna was below the fire priestess, gazing at Serena pleadingly.

"Raye?" Serena whimpered, getting up off the bed in shock, but the knife didn't move its position.

"Please, don't do it Serena," Raye pleaded desperately, eyes moving up to lock onto blue ones. "Serena."

Serena's hands began to tremble, but she still never moved the knife. "I can't take it anymore, Raye. I can't stand... everything..."

"Please. Serena, think about what you are doing!"

Serena bit her lip as her eyes filled. She finally began thinking about the consequences about her actions, rather than 'rewards'. And then it hit her.

She had been about to kill herself.

Kill herself.

"Oh... God..."

Serena dropped the knife as the words hit home, echoing through her head. The metal dagger hit the ground with a clink, and Raye moved into action, using her foot to slide it away. Luna promptly sat on the offending object. Serena didn't notice any of this, because she was in a state of shock.

"Raye... what was I thinking..." Serena moaned, collapsing to the floor. Raye knelt down in front of her, and Serena looked up into her comrade's face. Raye saw the deep sorrow and pain circling within the cerculean depths.

"I was really going to do it, Raye... How could I have been so impulsive and stupid..."

"You're in pain, Serena. You aren't thinking right; it's not your fault. Why did you want to do it?"

Serena gazed at the floor. "I saw him, Raye. With Lizzie. He... loves her. How could he!? After all... after all-"

Serena began crying softly. "After all we've been through together. Why, oh why, did our relationship fall apart?"

Raye gathered the sobbing teen into her arms, rocking back and forth soothingly as she stroked the golden halo head.

"I love him, Raye... I love him... I don't know if I can live without him," Serena mumbled, voice muffled through Raye's school shirt.

"He's a bastard, Serena. He isn't worth your time. He's a bastard because of the way he treats you," Raye said forcefully, but Serena shook her head.

"I can't help it. I'm in love with a bastard, and I can't help it."

Raye didn't know what to say.

Suddenly, their compassionate moment was broken by a beeping. It was coming from Serena's nightstand, where her communicator lay. Raye stood, and seeing as Serena didn't move from her spot, she got it.

The clasp opened to reveal Sailor Jupiter's face on the screen.

"Serena, there's-" Jupiter stopped, then began again in surprise. "Raye!?"

"I'm at Serena's. She... couldn't get to the communicator. What's wrong?"

"Oh, well... um, there's a droid in the park. It took some kids' energy, but we know it's here for Rini. It was her class here."

"Is Rini OK?"

"We're protecting her, but we need Sailor Mars and Sailor Moon! The droid's strong." As if to prove a point, Sailor Mercury's cry of pain was heard in the background.

"Hurry!"

"We'll be there," Raye said, but not without a glance back towards Serena worriedly. Was it safe to let the girl fight in this state?

Jupiter ended the connection and Raye set the communicator back onto the stand. She went back to Serena and crouched back down to her eye level.

"There's a youma in the park."

"I heard," Serena responded dully.

"Do you want to go? If not, it's OK. I don't think you're well enough to fight," Raye suggested, worry laced into her tone.

Serena snorted. "You would wish that, wouldn't you?"

"What?" Raye said, truely taken aback.

Serena gave Raye a contempuous glare. "You think I'm incompetent. The Sailor Scouts don't need me. I'm a nuisance."

"What would give you that idea!?" Raye exclaimed, but her own mind answered her: depression.

"You don't need me," was all Serena said. "Go on yourself."

"Serena, listen to me," Raye said firmly, grabbing Serena's chin and forcing her to look her in the eye so Serena could see the truth staring back at her. "You are our leader. Without you, the Sailor Team would fall apart... heck, there wouldn't even be a Sailor Team! You are the strongest Scout; we look up to you for guidance; we rely on you to defeat the droid and give us strength. We need you, Serena. You are not a nuisance."

Serena swallowed as Raye let go of her. Raye saw many emotions swirl by Serena's face, but finally it settled on gratitude.

"Thank you, Raye," she smiled. "I'll come."

Raye beamed and cracked her knuckles.

"Let's go kick some Negabutt!"

A/N: There ya go! I updated very fast for all my awesome reviewers! Remember, the more who review, the faster I update!

AngelMoon Girl