A/N: I'm apologize for not posting sooner, but I have an exam this week. Anyway, I wanted to dedicate this chapter to my friend's father who passed away. I don't own Instant Star.

Chapter 2: I Grieve

"Would you like to join me in my dressing room?" he asked politely in a sincere tone without a hint of innuendo. I felt myself flush. "Don't worry your virtue is perfectly safe, ma cherie, on my honor as a gentleman." He said as he bowed with a flourish before offering me his arm like a courtier. I should have hesitated, but I didn't. I felt myself drawn to him like a moth to a flame. And so I found myself walking willingingly and somewhat foolishly into the dark depths of the unknown. Perhaps my life would have turned out differently if I hadn't, but what's done is done, and it's foolish to dwell on the past. But it was his past that brought him to me, so for that I am truly grateful.

He led me though an underground labyrinth with enough twists and turns that would no doubt leave me lost if I tried to find my way on my own until we finally reached a steel door that looked as if it weighed several tons. I found myself being ushered into a lavish apartment that was full of black and white shades with splashes of crimson. "Welcome to my humble abode. Please make yourself comfortable. May I offer you something to drink, wine perhaps?" he said as he moved gracefully around the room while my eyes adjusted to the colors. I stood there awkwardly as he poured liquid into two goblets before pressing one into my hand. I watched in fascination as light reflected off of the tiny jewels of the cup and danced upon the walls.

I heard the door close loudly behind me and nearly jumped out of my skin causing wine to spill on the carpet. "I'm so sorry." I said as I hastily put my cup on the table and dropped to the floor to clean up the spilled liquid with a napkin I had no recollection of seizing. "Ma cherie, do not worry yourself so." he said as he gently pulled me from the floor and sat me down on the couch. "Marie will clean it up." he said. "Oh." I said stupidly as I began to wring the napkin in my hands. He noticed my distress. "Marie is my maid, nothing more." he said as he cupped my chin in his large hand forcing me to meet his eyes. "It's none of my business." I said hollowly. "Would you like it to be?" he said and the words seemed to tickle me in places that human hands had not touched. "Forgive me, I gave you my word that your virtue was safe tonight. Perhaps you should go." he said stepping away from me and opening the door.

I felt like I had been struck. Feeling humiliated I stood up from the couch and walked stiffly to the door. "Mon Dieu, wait!" he said. I fought with my urge to dismiss whatever he was going to say. "I usually have better self control than this." he said as he dragged his hand through his hair in frustration. I crossed my arms across my chest. "You undo me." he said simply as he stared at his feet afraid of my reaction to his brutally honest confession. His hands were coiled into such tight fists that his knuckles were turning white. I placed my hand against his cheek. "Tommy look at me." I said gently. He didn't respond. "Please." I said with a little force.

He looked up and I was shocked at what I saw. His eyes were raw and filled with such loneliness that I gasped aloud, which was the wrong thing to do because he recoiled and stumbled back falling to his knees. He was crying; keening as if his whole world had shattered. Such anguish that it tore my heart just to hear it. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and began to rub circles on his back. He didn't respond at first. And then I felt his arms wrap around my waist tightly and felt his sobs reverberating through my body. I began to mumble soothingly until his shoulders stopped shaking and all his tears soaked the front of my outfit. His sobbing slowly began to fade into silence.

"I'm sorry." he said as he pulled away. "Today is the anniversary of my…of a friend's passing. The loss still cuts me deeply." he said. "I'm sorry." I said. "You remind me of him." He said with a shaky laugh. "Do you want to talk about it? It might help." I said.

We sat together on the couch as he recounted tales of his childhood friend. "And then he met her and everything changed." he said his tone changing. "He became jealous, possessive, and violent. He turned his back on everyone and everything. I confronted him and…" He said as his eyes began to gain that lost look again. I held his hand. "It was a long time ago." he whispered. "I'm sorry all the same." I said as I gave his hand a supportive squeeze. "Thank you, Jude." he said. My hand still lingered in his and I felt a blush stain my cheeks pink once again. "I'd better get you back to your sister; she's probably frantic with worry." he said as he stood up from the ground all liquid grace. I on the other hand was not so graceful as I struggled to stand up. My legs had gone numb and my knees buckled as I tried to put my full weight on them, but as I felt myself falling he caught me effortlessly. "I've got you." he said as he held me in his arms. His face was startingly close to mine and I felt the overwhelming urge to close the distance between us and kiss him. He seemed to have gotten the same idea because a lazy smile flitted his face. I closed my eyes as his lips descended towards mine…

"Ahem?!" I heard from the doorway to see an equally angry Sadie and Kwest.