NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Okay, I've decided to challenge myself in these next two chapters. I did a search on TFLN with different keywords. Please let me know if this sucked or not.
DISCLAIMERS: See previous two chapters, I'm not typing anything out again.
Chapter Three
Keyword: PORN
To: Stephanie McMahon and Anna Hollenbeck
From: Ryan Shamrock
Subject: Saving Ryan's Privates with Val Venis
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT (SIDEBAR: Anna and Stephanie are friends with Ken's sister Ryan in one of my stories).
To: Kimo
From: Shannon Moore
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
To: Shannon Moore
From: Kimo
whose oscar?
To: Kimo
From: Shannon Moore
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
To: Trish Stratus
From: Christian
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
To: Twitter
From: Evan Bourne
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
To: The Undertaker
From: James Lawson
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
To: Christian
From: Edge
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
To: Edge
From:Christian
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
To: Lita
From: Matt Hardy
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
To: Matt Hardy
From: Lita
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
To: Anna Hollenbeck
From: CM Punk
Subject: John Morrison
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
To: Ryan Shamrock
From: Val Venis
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
To: Val Venis
From: Ryan Shamrock
Shut up. I did not.
To: Ryan Shamrock
From: Val Venis
I really wish I was making that up.
To: Justin Gabriel
From: Heath Slater
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebrities, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. The Internet in a nutshell.
To: Edge
From: Christian
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
To: Mindy Stratus-Lawson
From: James Lawson
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
To: Evan Bourne
From: Daniel Bryan (high school setting)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
To: Twitter
From: Randy Orton
porn bloopers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
To: Heath Slater
From: Justin Gabriel
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
To: Twitter
From: Anna Hollenbeck (college setting)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
To: Dolph Ziegler
From: Zach Ryder
I think I have a pornographic memory.
To: Zach Ryder
From: Dolph Ziegler
Don't you mean photographic?
To: Dolph Ziegler
From: Zach Ryder
No.
To: Edge
From: Matt Hardy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
To: Twitter
From: Daniel Bryan
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
To: Twitter
From: Shannon Moore
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
To: Kimo
From: Jeff Hardy and Edge
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
To: Wade Barrett
From: Daniel Bryan
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
To: Matt Hardy
From: Jeff Hardy
Subject: Sex with Edge
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
To: Twitter
From: Daniel Bryan (college setting)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
To: Shawn Michaels
From: Bret Hart
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me. (SIDEBAR: Bret took a couple of semesters of film production classes after graduation, according to his autobiography).
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Shane Helms
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
To: Twitter
From: Miz
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
To: Twitter
From: Randy Orton
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
To: Anna Hollenbeck
From: Evan Bourne
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
To: Matt Hardy
From: Edge and Christian
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
To: Ken Shamrock
From: Ryan Shamrock
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
To: Edge
From: Jeff Hardy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
To: Colt Cabana
From: CM Punk
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
stop calling my apartment porn island.
To: Chris Jericho
From: Christian
Subject: Trish
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
To: Anna Hollenbeck
From: Mindy Stratus-Lawson
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook. made sense at 3am
To: Twitter
From: Christian
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
To: The Undertaker
From: James Lawson
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
To: Natalya
From: Beth Phoenix
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
To: Twitter
From: John Cena
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
To: Twitter
From: Rob Van Dam
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Shannon Moore
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
To: Twitter
From: Ryan Shamrock
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
To: Wade Barrett
From: Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
To: Matt Hardy
From: Christian
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
To: Twitter
From: John Cena
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
To: Shannon Moore
From: Matt Hardy
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
To: Twitter
From: Justin Gabriel
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
To: Twitter
From: Matt Hardy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
To: Twitter
From: Evan Bourne
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
To: Twitter
From: Evan Bourne
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
To: Twitter
From: Evan Bourne (college setting)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
To: Twitter
From: John Morrison
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
To: Twitter
From: Heath Slater
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
To: HHH and HBK
From: Hornswaggle.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
To: Edge
From: Jeff Hardy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
To: Randy Orton
From: John Cena
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
To: James Lawson
From: The Undertaker
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
To: The Undertaker
From: James Lawson
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
To: Cooper Lawson
From: Jeff Hardy
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
To: Cooper Lawson
From: Jeff Hardy
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Cooper Lawson
;) ur welcome
To: Alex Riley
From: Miz
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
To: Miz
From: Alex Riley
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
WHAT A BUNCH OF HORNDOGS, HUH?;)
REVIEWS = LOVE