When Shadow awoke, the first thing that hit her was the heat of a frame in front and behind her. Her optics instantly snapped online as she sat up, still keeping her arms around Wildfire. She felt the servos belonging to the frame wrapped tightly around her waist, and craned her helm to look over her shoulder spikes. Red and orange with a yellow flamed chasis.
"Hot Rod?" Shadow whispered, turning to lay on her back so she could see both the mechs.
"Mm.. Yeah.. What is it, hon?" Hot Rod murmured, optics slowly brightening as he left recharge.
Shadow winced, her antennae flicking back sadly as she moved to lay on her back so she could see both mechs. "Hot Rod, it's Shadow Stalker."
"..Oh. I'm sorry Shadow," Hot Rod croaked, removing his servos from her waist.
"It's fine, Roddy. What time did you get in here?" she asked.
"Around.. 3:30ish..." he replied quietly, sitting up to look at Wildfire still tightly pressed into his Aunt's side.
"Warn me next time. I was going to end up elbowing you in the gut," the femme joked lightly.
"It would have been welcome," Hot Rod mumbled, slipping off the berth. "It's nearly 6 am."
"Frag.. Wil's late for his shift on monitors.. Oh, frag the world. Kid deserves a brake," Shadow slowly sat up, keeping close to Wil.
"We all do Shadow, our entire family deserves an entire fragging break!" Hot Rod suddenly snapped, hitting the table within the room.
"Hot Rod!" Shadow snapped, covering Wildfire's audials to make sure he wasn't awake, before slipping off the berth and moving to wrap the distraught mech in a hug. "You know Trapjaw wouldn't want you to act like this."
Ocean blue met ice blue, and the mech collapsed into Shadow's grip, sobbing. The femme frowned, pulling him close as her antennae flicked back. "Shh..Shh.. It's alright.."
"No it isn't. Not anymore," Hot Rod mumbled.
"Stubborn aft," Shadow growled, "Okay, so I lied. But at least you have a son still to remind you of her. I don't."
"He's your nephew though," the mech replied evenly.
"I know, but I'll never have the bond you do with him. Just be happy you have something left of her," she whispered, offlining her optics and biting her lip.
"Dad...? Aunt Shadow...?"
Hot Rod shoved Shadow away, turning to his creation. "Yes Wil?"
Wildfire studied the two, before noticing Shadow Stalker's optics flickering. "Aunt Shadow..?"
Hot Rod turned around, finding Shadow now doubled over and her claws on her digits deployed to dig in the wall. "Shadow Stalker..?"
"I'm fine," Shadow choked out, her optics flashing brightly before the femme typed in the combination to the door and shot out.
"Shadow-!"
The Gladiator took off sprinting towards her room a few halls away, breaking a speed record as she typed in the combination and made it to the trash can right in time. She purged violently, holding her gut and kneeling over the can. The taste of the unprocessed Energon in her mouth made her heave for a few minutes even after she was done. The sound of her door opening caused her helm to snap up, antennae pricked as Energon dribbled from the corner of her mouth.
Optimus stood in the doorway, his optics bright with worry. "Hot Rod comm linked me and said you might be glitching."
"I haven't glitched since my Gladiator Days, Optimus," Shadow coughed, slowly standing up and using the wall heavily for support.
"What's wrong?" Optimus asked, frowning as he moved to his mate's side, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her.
"Nothing.. My tanks were just churning," she replied, moving to lean against his side with a soft vent.
"Shadow, you purged yesterday morning too," the Prime replied with a frown.
"Sideswipe tainted a bunch of cubes on accident, I just had a bad cube," she mumbled.
"If you purge again, you're going straight to Ratchet to make sure you're not sick," he instructed firmly.
"Fine fine," she growled, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Still on monitor duty along with the Femme Commander duties with all those fragging datapads?" she griped.
"Yes. I don't think you're fit for battle yet. I keep you out of it because I love you," Optimus chided.
"It kills me to not be able to rip apart a Con, Optimus," Shadow whined.
"You can rip apart the dummies in the training room."
"It's not the same as being able to look into those blood red optics and feel the fear as you teasingly pry their chestplates open slowly, forcefully, show them who's in control. Then their optics widen and they beg for mercy as you slowly, agonizingly, crush their spark in your bare servos. Energon will splatter your frame as it seeps from their mouth, forever open in their last scream of agony. And you will step back to admire your work, lick the fluid off of your lips, and continue on to your next target."
"Are you still going to Smokescreen for PTSD?"
"Nope."
"I'd recommend going again."
"But I don't wanna," Shadow complained.
"But I want you to," Optimus returned.
"I don't have to do what you say," she scoffed.
"I'm Prime, everyone does what I say," he teased back.
The femme growled, lightly flicking his nose. "Hush you. Are you on duty?"
"I'm always on duty Shadow Stalker, why?"
"Take me to your office, I miss that couch. We will cuddle for five minutes, you will then work on your datapads, and I shall camp out there."
"Whatever you say, sweetspark."