A/N – I feel at this point I would like to say huge thanks to Kates89 and Iguy for reviewing every single chapter and also Madison Bellows and KarmaComesBackAround. All your reviews make me happy and I appreciate them so much. Thanks guys!

I would also like to say I don't know much about denominations of the Christian faith.

The first part of this chapter was one of the first things I wrote for this story and is my favourite bit of the whole thing I think.

And...Did anyone guess? There were clues floating around so top marks to anyone who did!

Israel – Chapter Fifteen

It couldn't be. Don was dead, Mac's mind knew that. He was dead and buried six feet under, he had had seen the body with his own eyes, lived through the funeral, felt his heart ripped out with grief. But his heart was now telling him otherwise, telling him that the man who stood in his doorway was the spitting image of Don. Tall, of similar height to Don and of a similar build too, slim but muscular. His jet black hair, speckled with grey, had been parted to the side and neatly combed over his head, but it was much longer, reaching down to around about his chin. His light blue eyes shone out brightly from his face, just like Don's and he had the same wonky, slightly too large, nose. The only obvious differences were that this man was very tanned and had obviously been somewhere hot recently. A small goatee and moustache adorned his chin and upper lip and his left ear had two piercings in it. He wore jeans of a lighter variety, flip flops and a dusky green t-shirt with a weird pattern on it that Don would never have worn. He also had a few braids and bracelets around both of his wrists, a beaded necklace hung round his neck and a wooden band sat round his left ring finger.

The man coughed awkwardly and then he stepped forward, offering out his hand.

"I'm Henry. Henry Flack," he said softly and even his voice was the same.

Mac's eyes widened even more and his jaw dropped open as he stared stupidly at the man in front of him. He was obviously feeling rather embarrassed, or awkward, Mac didn't know which. He knew he should say something, welcome him into his home but his mind was unable to form the coherent thoughts to transmit to his mouth. Henry Flack. Henry Flack, Don's brother. Don's brother whom he never spoke of...not to anyone, not to him, not to Danny, and not even Sam or Irene had mentioned him. But here he was, Henry Flack.

"You look...you look so much like Don," Mac finally said, eyes still wide with shock.

Henry dropped his hand when he realised Mac wasn't about to take it. "We're twins," he replied.

Twins...why had Don never mentioned he was a twin? That his brother was identical to him? Mac had heard that identical twins often had some sort of incomprehensible connection to each other, that they might feel loss at being separated from one another. Mac wondered if Don had ever felt like that.

"You'd better come in," Mac mumbled, stepping to one side and closing the door as Henry entered the apartment. Christ they even had the same walk!

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Mac asked as gestured Henry over to the couch.

"Water would be good," Henry replied, sitting down on the sofa.

"You sure you don't want anything stronger?" Mac asked as he walked to the kitchen.

"Actually beer would be better." Mac heard Henry say and he almost smiled to himself. How alike the two Flack brothers were. He took two beers out of his fridge and popped the caps off them before returning to the lounge.

"Here we are," he said as he handed one to Henry and then collapsed into his armchair. "Sorry about the mess," he murmured as he gestured nonchalantly to the boxes.

"It's fine," Henry replied, eyeing them with some interest.

Mac took a swig of his beer and stared at him stupidly. He felt stunned. He just couldn't get over it. Henry was so much like Don.

"I realise this must be weird for you," Henry finally said after they'd sat in silence for a long time. "I almost didn't come but then..."

"No, I mean...it's just you look so much like him," Mac said in astonishment.

Henry looked down rather embarrassedly. "Yeah. Our parents could never tell us apart as kids."

Mac nodded and tried to think of something to say. He had so many questions. Where had Henry come from? How had he heard about Don? About Don and him? Why had Don never spoken about him? What had happened to make Henry disappear from Don's life? But at the same time Mac didn't want to know. If Don had wanted him to know he would have told him. And Don was dead now and Henry looked exactly like him. Mac felt ashamed for feeling like there was an imposter sat on his couch.

"So...how did you hear about..." Mac asked awkwardly.

Henry took a sip of beer and then placed the bottle on Mac's coffee table, careful to put it on a coaster. Finally a difference between them, Mac thought to himself.

"Sammie told me. We've been in contact for the past two months. She started looking for me after Dad died."

"What about Don?" asked Mac in interest.

"I don't think she told him," Henry shrugged. "Or if she did he didn't wanna know."

Mac frowned. "Why not?"

Henry looked at him in surprise. "He didn't tell you?"

"Don never spoke about you," Mac said a little sadly, hoping not to offend the younger man.

Henry sighed and fidgeted nervously with his hands. Mac watched him in silence and smiled slightly as he was once more reminded of Don.

"I was twenty minutes older than Donny," Henry recalled. "We were both named after our father; Henry Donald Flack. I was Henry Flack Junior cos I was oldest and Donny was Donald Flack Junior."

"I thought your father was called Donald? That's what he was known by on the force. Don even said once that he was proud to take his father's name."

"Dad hated being called Henry; he wanted to be called Donald just like his dad, my Gramps. So he used to call himself by his middle name. Gramps was a cop too and Dad wanted people to know he was his son."

"I never knew that," Mac murmured sadly.

"Donny didn't talk much about his family, huh?" Henry asked, he didn't sound surprised.

Mac shook his head. "I didn't even know about Sam until six years after I first met Don. And I only met Irene at the funeral today."

"I wanted to be there," Henry apologised. "I nearly did come but...if I'm honest I wasn't sure if Donny would have even wanted me there. And I didn't want to shock anyone with how I look."

"We're things that bad between you?" Mac asked, intrigued by the mystery of the man sat before him, so much like Don and yet so different.

"We used to be like two peas in a pod. Inseparable. The amount of pranks we'd play on our parents by pretending to be each other," Henry smiled. His eyes took on a glazed quality and Mac was sure he was becoming lost in memories of the past. "I used to look out for Donny, taking on the responsibility of being the older brother and in return Donny looked up to me. I was always the outgoing one. Confident, friendly, chatty. Donny was much quieter and shy. He liked playing by himself or with me rather than being in a crowd."

Mac smirked. "I can't imagine that."

Henry shrugged. "We both changed when we started high school. Neither of us was academic, or particularly intelligent. But Donny found he was good at sports and physical activities. I was better at art and music. Creative things. But we were still inseparable. I still looked out for Donny and he started looking out for me too."

"What happened then? If you were so alike?"

Henry looked sad and glanced down at his hands. "After school we were both supposed to go to the Academy. Become officers just like Dad and Gramps. That's all Donny ever wanted to be, a cop. It was his one and only dream."

"But it wasn't yours?" Mac guessed.

Henry shook his head. "I wanted to travel, see the world. Inspire people with art and music, help them to express themselves...find themselves. The school we went to was Catholic, and I found myself becoming more and more influenced by the religion and yet confused by some of the beliefs and rules."

Henry paused and swigged his beer down. Mac started to wonder whether he was finding it difficult to tell this story.

"I stopped being a Catholic long before we finished school and became a Protestant. I'd planned to go to Art College but then Dad asked about my application for the Academy and I told him about everything. I'll never forget that night. We had such an argument; it went on all night long. My mother and Sammie never stopped crying and it was the first and only time I've ever seen Donny scared. Really scared."

"It was a rare occurrence," Mac said proudly. "Don was always brave, even in the face of danger."

Henry smiled at him gratefully. "In the end I packed some stuff and went to stay with a friend. I lived with him for about a year while I became a pastor for the Protestant church. Donny came to see me a few times and begged me to come home but I couldn't. I believed in what I was doing, I wanted to help those in need in a more peaceful way than to become a cop."

"Donny, what are you doing here?" Henry asked as he opened the door.

"Come to talk some sense into you for one last time, Hen," the younger twin grouched as he stepped past his brother. "And don't call me Donny. It's Don now."

"Ohhhhh, sorry, Don now."

Don glared at him. "When are you coming home, Henry?"

Henry sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not, Don. You know that. How many times I gotta keep telling you?"

"Just stop it!" shouted the younger Flack brother. "Haven't you put Mum through enough already? She doesn't deserve this and neither does Dad."

"I'll come home when they accept me for who I am!" the older twin shouted back. "I never wanted to be a cop and until Dad sees that then there's no point in me trying to reconcile with them."

"You're so selfish, you know that?" Don shouted.

"Well it's not like you're all so innocent yourself in this, Donny! Have you told Dad about your dirty little secret yet?" Henry said spitefully.

Don paled. "You said you would never bring that up," he said nervously.

"I won't...at least, not to Mum and Dad. But this is the same thing, Donny. I want to be a pastor. I want to help people and I don't want to do it by using violence."

"Look, just come home, Hen. Tell them that. They'll listen, they'll understand...I promise," Don said desperately.

"Like they'd understand if you told them you were gay?" Henry asked.

Don sighed and scratched the back of his neck, subconsciously copying the earlier action of his twin.

"Look, what if you were in love, Donny. And you'd told Mum and Dad about it and they said no. Would you move out and try to make yourself happy?"

"I guess so," shrugged Don.

"Well I'm doing the same thing now. Except it's for a job, a calling rather than for love."

"It's not the same," Don told him.

"Yes it is" urged the older twin. "I can feel this higher calling within me. More than just being a cop. I want to do something bigger. There are people out there who need help and I want to help them. You should be proud of me!"

"I can't," Don muttered. "Not when you're betraying our family, our parents."

"I supported you when I caught you with that boy, Donny," Henry said severely. "Why can't you do the same for me now?"

Don stared at him for a moment and then went towards the door seeing his efforts were once more futile.

"Because you're breaking Mum's heart, Hen. And I can't forgive you for that."

Henry smiled sadly and looked close to tears. "That was the last time I ever saw him. I flew out to Africa two weeks later and I've been a missionary there ever since. I got married four years ago and have a beautiful daughter called Olawunmi, Ola, who's three. When I landed in New York two days ago, it was the first time I'd set foot on American soil since I left all that time ago."

Mac was staring at him in shock. So Henry Flack was a pastor and missionary and had fallen out with the rest of his family for not following in their footsteps to become a cop. It all seemed so sad.

"And Don couldn't forgive you for being a pastor? For being a missionary and helping others?" he asked.

"The thing was that we were eighteen at the time. We'd never been separated, it was like we were one person. Then we argued and I left and it broke his world. I never gave him the chance to bestow his forgiveness on me. I never wanted it because I needed to blame him, I needed to tell myself that it was his fault that we were separated and not mine for disappearing. The rift just got deeper and deeper the longer I left it."

"So you didn't come back when your dad died?" Mac asked.

"I didn't know he'd died. I guess no-one knew where I was. I travelled about a lot in Africa and even if I'd been sent a message it would have taken a while to reach me."

"But you said Sam found you?"

Henry nodded. "I think after Dad died she felt she should look me up. She'd finally got herself straight and wanted to bring us all together again. She told me that Donny mentioned I'd become a pastor and that I'd gone to Africa to be a missionary. Once she got her job with the NYPD she made some contacts who helped her find me."

"But Don never looked?"

Henry shrugged. "Not to my knowledge. But as he was a cop I guess it wouldn't have been that difficult, he only needed to speak with my college. Sammie gave me the impression that Donny blamed me for everything, because I could have easily sent a letter home, emailed them, but no-one knew where I was to do that for me."

"So why didn't you?" Mac asked

"Because I couldn't bear to see Donny looking at me like that again. With that look of betrayal," Henry said sadly. "But I wish more than anything now that I'd made up with him. It's my one regret. I knew when I left that I was breaking his heart. We'd been so close all our lives and then to suddenly be separated like that...to me, it felt like I'd lost a part of myself. It must have been awful for him. He must have felt so betrayed."

"I'm sure he didn't..." Mac attempted to say. He honestly had no idea though.

"It's okay," Henry murmured. "I forgave him a long time ago for hating me. He followed his path and I followed mine. I guess we weren't as alike as we thought we were."

Mac nodded sadly. "So how long are you here for?"

"That's the thing actually," Henry smiled. "After Sammie contacted me it got me thinking about home. I haven't been here in so long and I miss it. I applied for a few positions, hoping that I might be able to make up with Donny if I was back on home turf. I got offered a pastor ministry in the Bronx and as long as my wife and daughter are okay with it, I hope to take it."

Mac nodded and smiled at the young man, though he couldn't bring himself to feel happy for him.

"Was he a good cop?" Henry asked suddenly.

"Don was a great cop," Mac said softly. "Graduated top of his class and made detective before anyone else too."

Henry smiled happily but Mac could see tears in his eyes.

"I wanted to be there...at his graduation..."

"I'm sure Don forgave you," Mac said kindly. "He was never a bitter or resentful person. He was full of love, love for his friends, for his work, for me...and for his family. I know he loved Sam to bits."

"What was he like?" Henry asked.

Mac smiled. "He was...He was Don. Brave, intelligent, sarcastic, witty, kind, supportive. He still loved playing sports and had an amazing talent for making food disappear. He also liked to sing and dance, he liked the ballet and reading novels and plays, not many people knew any of this."

Henry exhaled in amusement. "So he was happy?"

Mac nodded. "He was. I don't think he'd ever been as happy as he was in the last few weeks before his death. He still loved his job and colleagues. His best friend had just asked him to be godfather to his second child and our wedding was only a day away." Mac felt himself choke as he mentioned the wedding.

"I always knew Donny liked men as well as women," Henry recalled. "I remember catching him with this other boy at school in the music room. He begged me not to tell Dad and I never did. Seems like neither of us stuck to our Catholic roots."

"I know he believed in something," Mac stated sadly. "And if there is a heaven then that's where Don is now."

Henry nodded in agreement. "Sam said he loved you very much."

Mac stared down sorrowfully at his hands, unable to face the man that looked so much like Don. "I loved him very much too, I still do. Our relationship was tumultuous at best for a very long time. We both lost people we loved very much. But the last few years...we were happy. I still can't get used to the fact he's gone; I keep expecting him to come through the door any second."

Mac closed his eyes at the emotion he felt well up inside him. Having a man who looked identical to Don sat opposite him wasn't helping. He suddenly felt a hand on his and opened his eyes to see kindly blue ones staring right at him. Henry was knelt by his chair, holding onto his hand, tears in his eyes.

"I loved him so much," smiled Mac, breathing deeply in an attempt to keep calm.

"Me too," Henry said softly. Tears were falling down his cheeks and Mac gently placed a hand to one, wiping the tears away. Henry didn't pull back, but let Mac hold his hand there.

"Donny was lucky to have you," he said kindly.

"No," Mac said softly. "I was lucky to have him."

Lindsay smiled down at her son, still in his incubator but breathing by himself now, he just needed help feeding.

"Hey, baby Donny," she smiled at him.

The baby moved in his incubator and Lindsay felt a small happiness despite all that was going on around her.

"How lucky you are, my beautiful, little boy," she said. "You know nothing of what's going on around you."

She pulled a chair up close to him and sat down on it feeling such love course through her as she stared at her son.

"You've finally got your name, my Donny. I'm sorry it took us a little while...but Mummy and Daddy were feeling a bit poorly. Daddy still is...but I know he's going to be just fine. I know that, you see, because he has to be. He just has to be."

Lindsay felt a tear fall down her face but she quickly brushed it aside. She wouldn't cry in front of her child.

"Lucy is so excited to meet you. Grams is going to bring her here soon so she can say hello. She doesn't look a bit like you. She has beautiful blonde hair, tanned skin like her father and brown eyes like me; they kind of got darker with age."

Lindsay looked over her son. He had brown hair, like her natural colour, pale skin like her too but he had the bright blue eyes of his father.

"You know what? If you're hair was a little darker you'd look just like your godfather," she murmured.

Once more her eyes welled up as she thought of Flack.

"He was a very brave man," she nodded. "Like you're going to grow up to be. Brave and strong and good."

The baby moved again and Lindsay wiped a hand over her face to steady her nerves.

"You're already a little fighter, Donny," she murmured. "Just like your godfather."

Lindsay yawned. She felt exhausted and knew she'd have to leave soon and go home to rest. She hated that she still wasn't in full health and wouldn't be for some time. How she was supposed to care for her family like this she wasn't sure.

"I love you, Donny," she smiled as she stood ready to go.

"Donny? I like that," a quiet voice said behind her and she turned to see Adam standing there.

"Adam," she cried and fell into his arms, hugging him tight.

"Hey Linds," Adam said softly as he hugged her back. He frowned when she didn't let go. "Hey are you okay?"

"No...no, not really," she murmured into his shoulder.

"Here, why don't you sit down," Adam said gently, trying to lead her back to her seat.

"No. I can't cry in front of Donny," she replied.

"Fine" Adam said decidedly. "Then let's go out and get a drink from the canteen."

He gently put his arm around her and led her outside into the corridor and down towards the elevator. He didn't know exactly what was wrong but could hazard a guess. Flack's funeral had been tough on them all, he'd cried himself when he thought no-one had been looking, but Sid had caught him and given him a reassuring pat on the back. And on top of that Lindsay had still not recovered fully from giving birth four weeks early, not to mention what Danny's condition was doing to her. He took her down to the canteen and got her a cup of warm, sweet tea, deciding coffee wouldn't be the best thing. She looked exhausted and needed rest.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked nervously as he handed her the drink and sat down opposite at the table.

Lindsay looked up, eyes red from crying. Despite that she still looked strong. He guessed she had to be.

"I think everything just got on top of me today, Ad. Flack's funeral..."

"I know," Adam nodded in agreement. "I had to leave early. Couldn't take anymore."

"Mac spoke well," she nodded.

"Yeah, he did. He sure knew a lot more about Flack then I ever did."

"You knew more about him than I did," Lindsay smiled. "You knew he wanted to be a dad, remember, you told me that..." she trailed off as she recalled which day he'd told her that.

"Yeah, I guess we were kinda close," Adam mumbled.

"So Adam, are you prepared to be destroyed by the almighty Flackster?" Flack grinned as Adam let him into his apartment. He carried numerous xbox games in his hands. "Dude, you so need to clean this place!"

"Why? It's not like I have Royalty coming to visit, it's only you, Flack," Adam grumbled in response.

"Well you could have at least thrown that in the garbage," Flack moaned, pointing to something on Adam's coffee table.

Adam came forward and noticed a carton of Chinese food with a pair of old pants stuffed inside it. A few noodles were still sticking out from underneath.

"Oh hey, I was wondering where my favourite pants had gone," Adam grinned.

"Favourite pants?" Flack deadpanned.

"Yeah, they're my superman pants," Adam muttered, pulling them out to show Flack.

"Dude, you're showing me you pants!" Flack yelped and turned around.

"Oh sorry," Adam blushed and he hurried off to put them elsewhere.

"And they have mouldy noodles stuck on them..." Flack shouted after him, smirking and then looking down at the couch. He examined the cushion and swept it with his hand before sitting down.

"Have a beer," Adam grinned as he returned carrying two bottles.

"Cheers," Flack nodded and accepted one gratefully.

"So are you prepared to be destroyed by the Rosster, Flack?" Adam laughed as he set up the xbox.

He turned to see Flack staring at him in amusement, one eyebrow raised.

"What?" Adam said nervously.

"Rosster? Really?" Flack laughed. "It sounds like Rooster!"

Adam frowned. "I never get the cool names," he grumbled.

"Some of us have just got the cool factor, Adam," Flack smirked, relaxing back against Adam's couch.

"You're so lucky. Cool name, cool job, hot girl..." Adam sighed, looking despondent.

"Hey, it'll happen for you. Mark my words," Flack nodded. "It just takes time."

"Didn't seem to for you," Adam pointed out as he put in the disc.

Flack smirked and for a moment Adam wondered what he was thinking.

"Trust me, just wait," Flack replied.

"You think you'll marry Jess?" Adam asked as he rejoined him on the sofa.

Flack thought for a moment then shrugged. "I dunno. She is perfect. I think I'd be lucky if she'd have me."

"Don't think you have to worry there, Flack," Adam smiled.

Flack smiled shyly. "Guess so. But there's so much we haven't even talked about...like kids..."

"Kids!" Adam nearly spat out his drink. "What do you want those for?"

Flack laughed. "Cos kids are fun, Adam. They make me laugh. I'd love to have a little boy...teach him all the tricks I know, be there when he brings home his first girl...when he graduates the academy...when he makes detective..."

"You do realise your imaginary son might not wanna be a cop?" Adam laughed.

"Nope. Not gonna happen. There's never been a Flack man who wasn't a cop," Flack nodded.

Adam glanced at his face and for some reason got the impression he was lying but didn't question him about it.

"Hey, shall we play?" he said.

"Sure," Flack nodded and leant forward to pick up the controller.

Adam's eyes glanced to the back of his white t-shirt as he did so. He paled and then glanced at the back of his sofa.

"Hey Flack?"

"Hmm..."

"Just so as you know...it's got totally nothing to do with me that you have ketchup on your back."

Adam grinned as he recalled Flack's reaction. He'd never been so scared for his life.

"Yeah he liked to play xbox and playstation like me. Danny would sometimes come too before he had Lucy."

"Maybe if..." Lindsay started and then she stopped.

"What?" Adam asked.

"No. It doesn't matter. It's stupid."

"Lindsay, just tell me," Adam said kindly.

"Well maybe when Danny gets better you could play some of those games with him again?" she asked nervously.

Adam smiled kindly at her. "Course I will."

"Thanks, Ad," she smiled.

Adam grinned and then sipped his coffee. "So baby Donny," he murmured.

"It just feels right," Lindsay replied smiling as she thought of her son.

"You don't think it's a little weird?" Adam said timidly.

"No, I don't," Lindsay said. "Flack would have wanted it this way, I know he would. Because Flack always protected me, Adam. He was like the big brother I never had. He knew things about me that not even Danny knows. He was always there for me. And now my son, Donny, he'll be my protector now. He'll be the one who has the power to mend my family."

"Hey Linds," Flack grinned as he saw her come into the bullpen.

"Hey, I was just looking for Danny, have you seen him?"

"Still running after Danny, eh? He's not been round here for a while now."

Lindsay frowned at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Flack sighed and stood up from his desk. "You want coffee?"

Lindsay glanced at her watch and then nodded. They both left the precinct and fell into time together along the sidewalk on the way to the coffee shop round the corner.

"So what did you mean?" Lindsay asked him again.

Flack sighed loudly and uncomfortably. "Look Linds, I love Danno, you know I do...he's my best bud and I would do anything for him. But honestly, you deserve so much better."

"And what would you know, Flack?" she said sharply.

"He's messing you around Linds. Here you are again, rushing about looking for him. Maybe he just doesn't want you to find him?" Flack replied.

"This is none of your business," she snapped and turned to walk away.

"Hey Linds? Linds? I'm sorry!" Flack jogged to catch up with her. "Will you look at me for a second? Linds!"

He grabbed her arm and turned her, letting out a yelp of surprise as he saw she had tears in her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he soothed, giving her a big hug.

"It's because I know you're right, and I hate myself for convincing myself otherwise," she murmured.

"Hey, there," Flack whispered as he rubbed her back.

She pulled away and smiled at him. "Thanks, Flack."

"No worries. Though I was kinda the one who made you cry."

"It wasn't you. It was Danny really," she sniffed.

"So what's going on with you guys then?" Flack asked.

"You know he cheated on me?" she asked quietly. "With Reuben's mum?"

Flack reluctantly nodded his head. "Yeah, yeah, I did hear that..."

"It's just...it's like I can't get over him, and believe me I've tried. He's the first guy I've really liked in a long time. In fact since coming to the city I've only dated one other guy. Matthew, we went to the opera together but when I got called out to work he decided it wasn't going to work," she sighed.

"What about in Montana? I bet guys were queuing up to be with you," Flack grinned.

"Not really. There was just one. We were engaged," she said quietly.

"Engaged!" Flack nearly shouted in shock.

"Shhshh!" she hissed. "Yes."

"What happened?" Flack asked, still recovering.

"He cheated on me," she said softly.

"Oh, Linds," Flack said sadly, pulling her in for another hug.

"That's why it hurts so much that Danny slept with that woman," she cried.

"But you still love him?" Flack asked.

"I can't stop," she cried.

Flack sighed and hugged her tighter. "Then maybe you're just meant to be. Maybe things will work themselves out. You have to hope," he replied.

Lindsay looked up at him and wondered if he was speaking from experience.

"Thank you," she smiled. "Oh, you won't tell Danny about what I said?"

"Course I won't, secret's safe with me. And hey, I can always kick his ass for you in the meantime," Flack joked.

Lindsay laughed. Flack had always been good at making her smile. "Come on. You said something about buying me a coffee."

"Didn't say nothing about buying," Flack jokingly grumbled as they started walking again.

"Ouch!" he yelped as she nudged him in the ribs.

"Flack was always the hero," Adam nodded as he finished his coffee.

"He was," Lindsay agreed. "I wish he was still here. He'd know what to do with Danny."

"So do I," murmured Adam. "I guess you just gotta be patient, Linds. Danny needs time to get used to the fact he may never walk again. As well as that, he's lost his best friend."

"I know, I keep telling myself that," she sighed. "It still doesn't make it any easier."

Adam nodded. "Come on, I think it's time we got you home. You look like you could do with a long sleep."

"Thanks, Ad," Lindsay replied and gave his hand a squeeze.

Mac shot the chain across his door and then turned out the lights in the lounge. Padding to the kitchen he got himself a drink of water thinking about everything that had occurred that day. For the second time in his life now he'd said goodbye to his soul-mate, his everything. At least this time he'd been able to have a proper burial, he supposed that was something. He sighed and leant against the counter, glass still in his hand. He still couldn't understand how this had happened. He'd been happy. Don had been happy. They'd been going to get married, everything was set and then...and then. Mac closed his eyes as he felt a fury burning at his soul. Then God's will had struck them down. Had taken Don from him, destroying everything he held dear. His eyes shot open and he placed the glass back down, walking into the hallway and looking at himself in the mirror. There it was; the cross he never took off. That one ray of hope he'd leant on through the dark days after Claire's death. But it brought him no joy to see it there now. What had God ever done for him? He closed his fist tight around the metallic emblem and pulled hard, breaking the chain. He was free. Free from the tyranny that had destroyed his life twice now. He threw the chain into the waste paper basket and went back into the kitchen to finish off his water.

His heart felt heavy from the funeral and from the appearance of a seemingly identical man to Don. Why had Don never told him about Henry? Mac shook his head. There was so much he hadn't known about Don and he'd only just been starting to discover these things. He gripped the edge of the counter in anger as he thought of how he wouldn't be able to discover any more of those little querks and secrets. He blamed God, he blamed life and he blamed Andrew Bedford. But mostly and unavoidably, he blamed himself. His decision, his words, his choice. It was almost as if he'd pulled the trigger himself, too cowardly to look into Don's eyes after he'd made his choice. He wondered what Don had been thinking, what his last thought had been? Had he known he was about to die? Mac gasped loudly as he couldn't take his own thoughts anymore and prayed to a God he no longer believed in for the emptiness to return.

"I'm so sorry, Don," he murmured into his kitchen. "Please forgive me. Please forgive me."

He placed the empty glass back down and stared at it for a moment. He would normally wash it up before bed, he hated to wake up to even one ounce of mess but it now seemed so pointless. What exactly was he afraid might happen if he left it there on the side. Don had never cared about these things. There were so many other more important things in life. Mac turned and left the room, switching off the light. He entered his bedroom and got straight into the bed, not worrying to prepare his clothes for tomorrow knowing Sinclair had requested...no, ordered him to take some leave. The bed felt large, cold and empty without Don there. It was the super-kingsize bed they had bought together, chosen especially to accommodate Don's height. It seemed so pointless to own it now.

"I wish you were here," Mac whispered into the dark as he lay down and pulled the covers over him.

He fell into an uneasy sleep and tossed and turned for a long time. Eventually he woke to the glare of the streetlights beaming in through the window. He'd forgotten to draw the curtains. He sighed and got up, padding over to draw them and then returning to the bed. He yawned tiredly and cracked his back before rolling over and bumping into the warm body next to him.

"You always did like to take up all the room," he murmured sleepily.

"Sorry," chuckled a reply.

Mac suddenly blinked and let out a cry as he sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. The bed was empty. No-one else was in the room. It was just him, and he was now alone.

A/N – Flashbacks from when Don was eighteen, 5x21 and 4x16

The press release from CBS for episode 9x05 credits Don and Sam's father as being called Henry Flack.