Chapter 42

When Edward disappeared down the road, for whatever reason, I automatically began walking in that same direction. My mind was blank and I couldn't even really feel my body at that point, but I kept moving regardless. After walking for a bit however, Edward was nowhere in sight and I wasn't even sure where I was.

I looked around at my unfamiliar surroundings, and just didn't even care that I was lost. What difference did it make anyway? Edward thought I was carrying someone else's baby and I had no way to prove otherwise…how the hell were we supposed to move past that?

I had no idea how long I walked around aimlessly for, but eventually I came across a little bench to sit on, and I realized I had found my way to a park…The fact that it was the same park that we had eaten ice cream together in would have probably convinced me fate was still at work, but at that moment I just wasn't thinking about anything…anything good at least.

What if Edward was right? What if someone slipped me something at the diner and then raped me in the back. Would I have even known? Could I really be carrying some sick bastard's child? It was really the only thing that made realistic sense. Hell, I was so confused around that time, perhaps I really was just crazy and completely imagined Edward's ethereal existence; perhaps I slept with Mike and didn't even remember it because of my delusions. I shuddered at the thought.

I never wanted to have a baby. Only when I thought Edward was going to die did I even toy with the idea that it was something I may have wanted one day, but I certainly didn't want to have someone else's baby. It actually made me sick to think about , and I didn't know what to do. It was so overwhelming that I dropped my head into my hands, and just started sobbing. I cried so hard that several people passing by stopped to ask if I was okay. I didn't respond to them. I wasn't capable of responding, so eventually they all just continued on their way and left me alone.

After I cried it all out and my tears dried up, I just continued to sit on that bench feeling dead inside…and as if things couldn't possibly get worse, then it started raining. But the rain was a good thing, it made everyone around me disappear and I could finally have a little time to myself.

The sky grew dark and I assumed it was from the cloud cover, but something made me look down at my watch and I realized that somehow the entire day had passed me by and it was approaching evening.

As much as I didn't want to go anywhere, I knew being out in the pouring rain all night wasn't an option, so I forced myself to stand up and I started walking back the way I assumed I came. The rain continued to beat down on me as I went, and it wasn't long before the road in front of me was completely shrouded in darkness. I could barely see where I was going, but suddenly the brightness of a car's headlights illuminated the road from behind me. I considered sticking my thumb out and asking whoever it was to take me wherever they were going, but I kept my arm firmly to my side.

But as the car approached me it slowed down anyway, which made my stomach twist. What if there really was some psycho stalking women? I thought about running, but then…

"Bella!"

I reflexively turned to the sound of my name, and I nearly broke down crying when I saw Edward jumping out of the car; though, I wasn't sure if I was emotional from being grateful he was there, or from wishing he wasn't.

"Oh Bella, thank god!" Edward shouted as he wrapped me in his arms. "Where the hell have you been? Come on, let's get you inside." He pulled me into his car and then grabbed a blanket from the backseat to drape around me. "You're soaked."

"What are yyyou doing he-here?" I trembled, not realizing until right then how cold I actually was.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? I've been looking for you all day."

"You have? But you left."

"I just needed to go for a walk to sort out everything in my brain. After about an hour I called Jasper to come pick me up, but you weren't at home so I went to your mom's and everywhere else I could think of trying to find you. When I went back to the hospital to see if anyone there knew where you were, someone said you dropped the keys and then just took off walking."

"I dropped the keys? Sorry about that," I said absently.

"Where have you been?" he asked again.

"Just…around."

"You've been walking around this whole time? It's been raining."

"I didn't know what else to do. Everything I thought I knew…isn't real anymore. I don't know where to go next."

"What are you talking about?" he asked sincerely baffled. "Nothing has changed. We're still going to get married and live our lives in Seattle. You promised me we were going to stay together, remember?"

I looked at him incredulously, and then vaguely wondered if he was playing some cruel joke on me. "I don't understand."

"What is there to understand? I love you. I want to marry you, and nothing is going to change that."

"But the baby…"

"It doesn't matter," he cut me off. "I mean, it does…having a baby together would have been amazing and I'm disappointed…but it doesn't really change anything. You got pregnant before we were together, so I have no right to be mad. Besides, we can have kids together in a couple years."

"So…You're okay with raising a baby that's not yours?" I asked slowly. I still wasn't sure how I got pregnant, but I was just trying to understand exactly what he was saying.

"We're raising Bree, and she's neither of ours. I know I can love a child that's not mine, especially if that child comes from you…But…I also know what it's like to not know where I come from, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I've been thinking about this most of the day…My biological father has no idea that I even exist. He was probably some guy who did a shitty thing by screwing a drug addict, but for all I know he was a stand-up guy every other day of the year. Maybe he has a family with other kids. Maybe he would have wanted to take responsibility for me if he knew…I'll never know and that really sucks, so if this baby has a chance of knowing where it came from, I think you should tell it."

"But I don't know," I whispered with new tears rolling down my cheeks. "I swear, I don't remember being with anyone anywhere close to twelve weeks ago."

"Look, Carlisle and Renee can be…morons, but they both said you were acting a little irrational around that time. And that is when your ex visited, so…maybe you should just call him and ask if you slept together. If he is the father, he really should know."

"When did you talk to Renee and Carlisle about this?" I asked getting even more upset

"I didn't. They both mentioned it earlier. Renee told me about the guy over the phone when I called to ask your address, and Carlisle mentioned something last week about you acting off."

"What did he say?"

"He said almost the same thing Renee did…That you didn't handle my accident very well. He mentioned you went to his house a couple times, and how you were talking about me being a ghost, or something like that."

I stared at him for a moment, and suddenly something snapped in my brain and everything became clear. Talking to Mike would be pointless, I never slept with him, and I was never slipped anything and raped without knowing it. In fact, those scenarios seemed ridiculous now that I was thinking right. I didn't give a shit about what was and wasn't possible. I didn't know how, I didn't know why, but I was once again beyond certain that Edward was the father of my baby.

The world was full of incredible unexplainable things, and even though I couldn't really make sense of what happened myself, I knew I had to find a way to make Edward believe. I needed to make him remember, and that would be all the proof he'd need….