A/N: I usually never write in first person, but I'm going to for at least part of this chapter.

Chapter 3 (I know I said chapter 3 last time, but I meant chapter 2)

6 weeks after Ava was born…

M.POV

I woke up early this morning, nervous about the long day that was ahead of me. I heard Ava behind me and turned over, to see her smiling at me. She started that the other day, smiling. And now she loved it, and it seemed like she never stopped. Derek was still sleeping. It was only 4:30, and the alarm didn't go off until 5. We had interviewed many people before finding Anna. Anna was 20 years old, and Ava loved her. Meredith loved her too. But that didn't change the fact that she was nervous. She was leaving her baby today. Ava's feet were kicking under the covers.

I put Ava in her bouncer and set it outside the shower. Ava and I were both ready by the time the alarm went off. I was sitting in our room, feeding Ava. He groaned as he hit the alarm button, like he does every morning.

"You're up early." He said as he sat up in bed.

"I woke up early." I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's gonna be fine." He walked over and kissed my head and Ava's.

"I know," I shrugged again, "I just woke up early."

He let out a 'hmm'. "I'm going to take a shower." I smiled back at him.

He was ready in 20 minutes, and Anna arrived 10 minutes after that. I rambled, I know I did, but I couldn't stop myself. I rambled for over 20 minutes, because it was nearly 6 when we finally left. The ride to the hospital was silent. It was my first time back, except for doctors appointments. I was a resident now. Not with my own interns, that didn't come for a few years still. But I had my own cases now, my own surgeries. Since Bailey was Chief Resident, she still assigned our cases.

Derek and I parted on the fifth floor, as I headed to the residents locker room to change into my scrubs. My friends were already gone, ready to do rounds. I hurried, and shoved everything into my locker.

She found everybody starting rounds, and followed them in to a patients room. It was Neuro and she saw Derek immediately, standing at the other side of the room.

"Hey Mer, welcome back!" Izzie whispered excitedly into her ear, "Are you excited?"

Meredith just smiled and nodded, as one of Dr. Bailey's new interns started presenting.

"Carol Andrews, age 34, diagnosed with Acoustic Neuroma. Scheduled for surgery this afternoon." The intern announced to the room.

"Thank you Dr. Mac." Bailey said as she looked down at the chart, "You are on the case with Dr. Shepard," She glanced around the room, "And Dr. Grey is on the case too." Bailey slammed her chart shut.

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The surgery was going well. I was standing up near Derek, looking through the microscope, while Dr. Mac stood slightly further away. The entire surgery I only had one thing on my mind…Ava. She had only been gone for 4 hours, and wouldn't be home for another 6.

We stayed in the scrub room after everyone else had left, Dr. Mac gone to do post-ops, the nurses taking Mrs. Andrews back to her room.

"You okay?" He asked me as we dried our hands.

"Yeah." I responded, looking at my paper towel intently.

"What's wrong?" He walked over and put his arms around my waist.

"Nothing," I started, but felt tears burning on my eyelashes. Why was I so damn emotional these days? Everything made me cry. He said something, but I didn't understand, I was too focused on making sure the tears didn't come out. "I just miss her, I'm fine." I turned and faced him, after wiping my tears.

He hugged me…put his strong arms around me. I cried harder now, knowing we were alone. I wanted to stay like that longer, but my pager beeped, interrupting the silence. It was 911 to the pit. I wiped my eyes once more and smiled goodbye.

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The pit was filled, there had been a car crash. Or…a bus crash. Kindergarteners, on their way to the zoo for a field trip. Children were all over the pit.. Many crying or screaming. Bailey had said something about 60 of them, 2 busses. And said to pick any one of them.

Meredith found a little girl, wandering around, looking lost, with a bloody forehead. She had a nametag on, they all did, something they did on fieldtrips. Emily. Emily Rose was her name. She was crying, and looking for someone.

"Emily" I call out to her. She turns towards me, her eyes wide with fright. I hold out my hand and she takes it, slowly and unsure, but she takes it.

I clean her cut, and stitch it up.

"Where's Ava?" Emily asks, causing me to turn around.

"Ava?" I ask, thinking of my own Ava, at home, safe.

"My best friend," She says quietly, "She was next to me on the bus."

I get down to her level, "Why don't you go sit over there and I'll go try to find Ava, okay?" She nods, and walks over to the area with the other kids from the bus.

Dr. Bailey is with Callie, popping a little boys arm back in the socket. He is screaming with pain, and tears are running down his face.

"Dr. Bailey," I interrupted her. She must have been able to tell something was wrong, because she followed me out of the trauma room. "I need to find someone." She looked confused, "A little girl. Ava, I need to find her."

"Look, we have 60 kids here, now go help one of them!" She turned and walked back into the trauma room, and I went to find another child to help.

3 hours later, the kids were all sutured, and most sent home. I stood in the pit, talking with Cristina. Nobody was in the pit now, it was completely empty, and silent.

"I wouldn't be able to stand being away from surgery for 6 weeks. I would die…" Cristina was still talking but I didn't hear her anymore. An ambulance had pulled up, and a baby was being pulled out on a stretcher. I didn't need to see Anna to know who the baby was. I slowly walked towards the door. Anna was hysterically crying, clutching her purse in her hand.

And before I knew it I saw it. And now it was real. It wasn't fake anymore. My baby, my little baby, was lying on the stretcher, pale and blue. It was real now. Cristina was behind me now and I heard her say something quietly to me, "It's going to be okay."

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Okay, so I am so sorry that I took so long to post this. I had it written twice. But then I realized that it was corny, both times. And I'm happy I rewrote it, because this is drama! And I love drama. It will be fluffy though, don't worry. Just with a pinch of drama (okay that seemed like more than a pinch). I'm not sure where I'm going with it yet. But I loved this chapter. Especially the last 2 paragraphs. And the little kid Ava, that was just foreshadowing, telling you something was going to be wrong. I really want a lot of reviews, because they inspire me to post faster! Especially after this chapter, I need reviews! Please!

Julia