Silence...
Silence...
Then the sobbing...
Then the silence again...
Dirk had made him go home, finally after 2 hours of sitting there, letting the smaller Strider sob, he made him get up and go home.
He had no idea what to say in this situation, Dirk simply just drove home and let his brother lay down in the backseat, he knew that finally Dave wasn't holding back emotion, but he was upset that it took such a tragic incident to make him do this. He couldn't look in the mirror, he couldn't see his brother like that...
Jake had asked if he could ride home with them, but Dirk denied him. He knew Jake had to be going through alot, but he knew that his little bro came first, before anyone.
Dirk wanted nothing more than to sit there and hug his brother like he had in the pews. But driving them home and letting Dave have some alone time.
And thats what they did.
When Dirk pulled into the driveway, Dave was already out and walking up to their house , he opened the door they normally kept unlocked and headed straight up the stairs for his room, throwing open the door , slamming it shut and clicking the lock .He tossed his glasses onto the desk and dropped down onto his bed, he'd cried himself out, his eyes were dry and his heaving had subsided.
He clung to his pillow, burrying his face in it, He couldn't look at his room, Johns spare shirts, and clothes were all over the floor and in his closets and dressers, their photos were on his desk, his pillow smelled like him... god this wasn't fair... He couldn't escape the fimilarity.
This was so empty to him, this couldn't be happening. Last night had been normal, John had come over, Dirk had left them alone.
A normal night for them, they ate, played some video games, went upstairs and showered, and secluded themselves to Dave's room with the door locked.
He remembered John waiting for Dirk to leave, before he'ld already been on Dave, no not like humping him or anything like that, but the moment Dirk left his side of the couch had become vacant for Dave's lap, their video game controllers left their hands to be moved to eachother.
Yes.
Those years of corrupting John had work, John and him weren't hardcore, sex sex sex, had they had it? yes. But not power hungry lovers. Dave remembered their nights vividly, he they'd rolled all around the couch, calmed in the shower and went back to rolling around under the blankets, the kisses, the touches. Everything was so normal to him, then the fight happened.
"C'mon John... Whats so wrong about it, just once,who's gonna look and care ?'
'I'm not feeling up to it, I don't have to have a reason...'
'John! Whats wrong with you!? Your turning into a buzzkill everytime you come over!'
'Then I'll stop coming over , I don't feel like fighting right now, I'm going home...'
'Fine! go! See if I follow...'
He had followed though, John had stormed out the door , but the moment Dave heard the rain and the thunder ... he was right out behind him, he'd seen John running further ahead of him, running across the long yard and for the streets.
He guessed he was gonna take the backways , which meant crossing the street and hitting the path through the doors...
All he did hit was the street.
Those lights weren't street lights, they were head lights...
Dave remembered the breaks squealing, he remembered when John screaming at the first impact, then the silence after the car kept driving, probably thinking it'd been an animal...
Dave headed straight for the road, trying to see, trying to see where John was, but he wasn't in the road anymore, he was laying right on the side, the streetlights only showed him the shadow, and he'd followed...
Dave was wallowing in the scent on his pillow, thinking he was dreaming, that this wasn't happening... He was gonna wake up, and John was gonna be curled up next to him... This wasn't fair.. this wasn't fair... but no matter what Dirk said...
This was His fault...
John wasn't coming home, because of him...
John wasn't coming back, because of him...
John wasn't calling or texting... and he wouldn't be.
Dave closed his eyes slowly, 'Just sleep...' he thought.
Not wanting to see that John wouldn't be there when he woke up...