Remedial Potions

After one last, nice day with the Tonks, it was time to board the Hogwarts express once more. Mandy and I met with Lisa and Padma while Dora joined her friends from seventh year. I was still feeling rather weak but it was okay. Madam Frobisher had been certain that there wouldn't be another relapse. I simply hoped she was right. If not, Madam Pomfrey obviously had plenty of experience dealing with Dragon Pox as well. I didn't know if it was only my imagination or if there really were many people who gave me suspicious looks. I had never noticed this before.

Lisa and Padma were acting towards me like they always had though. Both told us about their holidays. Lisa's had been rather turbulent because her aunt and her mother had gotten into a heated argument under the Christmas tree. If Lisa wasn't exaggerating, the two sisters had started to duel each other. Lisa's cousin who was a trainee Healer had treated their injuries so they were spared the humiliation of going to Saint Mungo's in this state.

"Maureen says this is happening quite often on Christmas," Lisa told us. "It's a very busy time for them. People start to get angry at each other because everyone's supposed to get along perfectly and it doesn't work."

"I kept Saint Mungo's busy too but not because I got in a fight," I told them. "I got Dragon Pox and was there almost all the time."

"Poor you. That must be awful," Lisa said and Padma thought so as well.

I normally didn't like being pitied but this time I was simply glad that they were acting towards me like they would towards a normal person. I really hoped that my parents' crimes would remain secret. Neville at least didn't seem to want anyone to know.

Lessons at Hogwarts continued the way they had before we had gone and I had to admit that I would miss them if I left. Well, some of them at least. I could do without History of Magic and Defence Against the Dark Arts. Quirrel's teaching style hadn't improved over the holidays, he seemed even more nervous than he was before; something I hadn't believed was possible. In Charms and especially Transfiguration, I noticed that I hadn't practiced during the last two weeks. Strange things happened to the objects and animals I wanted to transfigure and most charms didn't work at the first attempt either. Maybe my magic like my body was weakened from the illness.

Snape's Christmas obviously hadn't been very pleasurable either. Did he have anyone to go home to at all? He kept taking points away for no real reason. When I had completed a potion correctly and dared to smile proudly when he had nothing to complain about, he took two points from me. "I don't like this attitude Miss Lestrange. You're as arrogant as your mother."

I was rather taken aback by this. Being glad that I had done something right was arrogance according to him? He had never mentioned my mother before either. Maybe he knew that I had spent the holidays with the Tonks and knew about her by now. Or, I didn't want to imagine this; he had read it in my mind.

"Don't worry, it's Snape," Lisa said on our way to the Great Hall. "He took five points from me for sneezing. It would ruin the potion, he said." She shook her head. "Snape's a git."

"Yeah, and he keeps insulting Harry Potter's family as well," Padma said as if this settled the matter.

"I simply hate losing points," I said even though it wasn't the complete truth. "Ravenclaw's only third in the House ranking. We really should be better." This did bother me. We were supposed to be the clever ones, why couldn't we win?

Neville probably suffered from Snape's behaviour as well or something else was wrong. He looked even more downtrodden than usual and didn't approach me for our potions training. I decided not to press him on the matter yet. It was better if he asked me.

The second Quidditch game of the year would be between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. I was going to support Hufflepuff because of Dora and Uncle Ted. She even gave me a yellow scarf which I wore rather self-consciously.

Snape was going to referee the match to everyone's surprise. The Gryffindors seemed to be rather agitated about that but I didn't really care. I wasn't playing Quidditch yet. My respect for Snape had waned a bit after the remark about my mother though. No matter how talented he might be his teaching skills were atrocious.

Neville and two other Gryffindors ended up in a fight with Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy had made some stupid remark about Gryffindor letting people in their house team because they felt sorry for them. He also told Neville he had no brain, a remark which made me wish to try this Flippendo-spell on him Aunt Andromeda had taught me on our last day. I knew that Neville didn't want me to interfere though and three Gryffindors against three Slytherins was quite evenly matched. The boys decided to settle the dispute with fists rather than magic and while they were fighting, Harry Potter caught the Snitch after only about five minutes.

Dora got off her broom and slammed it into the ground rather violently. I felt really sorry for her. This had been one of her last Quidditch matches and it had ended with such a disaster. We left the stands while the boys were still fighting.

"Do you think we should do something?" I asked. Things definitely didn't look good for Neville.

"Hermione Granger is there," Padma said. "Let them settle this for themselves."

I had a bad feeling about this but she was probably right. The boys wouldn't want help from a group of random Ravenclaw girls.

Dora was in a very bad mood after the game. "You should have hit the Bludgers at Potter! You let him get off far too easy. Was it because he's famous?" I heard her shout at the beaters, two rather meek-looking boys.

I hesitated for a moment but decided that me telling her that it was only Quidditch and that there were more important things in life wouldn't go down too well right now. Neville or Dora, I couldn't really do anything for either.

When I met Dora the next day, she was still fuming. "Dunstan and Summerby are just too soft," she said. "They were impressed by Potter on his bucking broom stick and didn't want to hurt him. Those idiots actually wanted Potter to win! That's why everyone thinks Hufflepuffs are losers. Quidditch isn't the wizarding ballet. Being kind isn't always the answer!"

"I think we should let the Hufflepuffs sort this out among themselves," Mandy whispered to me.

"Yeah well, I really need to see Madam Pomfrey," I told Dora. This was actually true. I needed new ointment for my Dragon Pox pustules, they still weren't gone completely. When I arrived at the Hospital Wing, the situation from Saint Mungo's was reversed. Neville lay in bed, a bandage covering his head while I walked in. Madam Pomfrey was nowhere in sight.

"Hello," I said. "That looks really nasty."

"Hi. Yes, the bandages are soaked with potions that will make the swelling go away," Neville said. "It's not that bad though. Was worth it. Had to show those Slytherins."

I thought that there better ways to show that you did indeed have a brain than attacking two people who were much bigger than yourself with your fists but it was one of those thoughts I kept to myself. This probably was normal Gryffindor behaviour. I hadn't spent much time with people from this house so far.

"Listen Neville, back at Saint Mungo's we talked about doing Potions together. Do you think we should start that now? It's not that long till we're having our exams."

"Yes, probably. I don't think this will help much though. I'm simply rubbish at potions and always will be."

"Hey Neville, you just told me you wanted to show people. There's no better way than getting better in class."

To my great surprise, Neville grinned slightly at these words. I had never seen him do so before. "That's a typical Ravenclaw thing to say," he told me.

"Yes, maybe. Just like getting yourself into a fight with people much larger than yourself is a typical Gryffindor thing to do."

"Thanks. I haven't been told that I'm doing Gryffindor things too often," Neville said. "Though I'm not quite sure if it's a compliment coming from a Ravenclaw. I haven't talked to many of you yet."

"That's really strange, isn't it? Gryffindors and Ravenclaws never have class together. We always have with Hufflepuff and Herbology with Slytherin."

"I'm glad I don't have to endure the Slytherins in Herbology," Neville said.

"Well, it's quite fun actually. They keep fussing about getting dirty," I said with a grin.

"Yes, maybe it would be better to be with them in a subject where I'm actually good. I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you end up in Ravenclaw at all? Everyone in your family has been Slytherin, haven't they?"

"Well, my grandmother was in Ravenclaw as well," I said. And my father had probably had some Ravenclaw traits but I wouldn't mention him in front of Neville. "I didn't want to be in Slytherin anyway. Hanging around with Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson all days sounds like a nightmare."

Neville laughed but stopped very quickly because his swollen face obviously hurt.

Madam Pomfrey arrived. "Longbottom needs his rest," she told me. "Who are you if I may ask? I've never seen you before."

"Well, I think I haven't been here yet."

"Unlike me," Neville muttered.

"Almost two weeks at Saint Mungo's should make up for this though."

Madam Pomfrey looked at me. "Ah, you're the Dragon Pox girl. I have the ointment here."

I didn't like being referred to as "Dragon Pox girl" but maybe this kind of thing was normal Healer behaviour. I swallowed. Everything could have been so much fun if my father had simply kept his job and maybe told me about this kind of thing.

Madam Pomfrey gave me the ointment and I told Neville to meet me Friday afternoon in front of the library. The room my grandmother had told me about seemed to be a secret and I didn't want to share it with Madam Pomfrey.

The week passed quickly and so did my morning Potions lesson. I tried my best to be completely emotionless whenever Snape looked into my direction and it seemed to work. He didn't target me this time.

Instead, he reduced poor Hannah Abbott to tears because she had messed up her potion. It had first taken on the wrong colour and later exploded. Snape was looming over Hannah who tried to look as small as possible. It almost seemed as if he enjoyed the distress he caused to the Hufflepuff girl. This was really sick. Hannah surely hadn't gotten her potion wrong on purpose and his behaviour wouldn't make it better. McGonagall clearly told us if we did anything wrong but she never acted like that.

"What have I done to deserve this? First this idiot boy Longbottom melting his cauldron and now the next walking disaster." Snape's mouth twisted into a sneer. Hannah's face was completely hidden behind her long hair and her hands. She was crying openly now.

"Maybe the two of you should band together to form the club of Hogwarts losers."

I couldn't hold onto myself after these words. "Professor Snape."

He looked into my direction, his cold dark eyes boring into my own.

"Don't you see I'm busy, Miss Lestrange. I have no time for your questions."

He never did, I thought but this wasn't what I wanted to say.

"I'm sure Hannah hasn't done this on purpose," I said. At my old school, we had sometimes achieved something if we stood up to unfair teachers like this. Mandy obviously didn't hope for something similar to happen here. She kept silent. I didn't want to do that though. I wasn't like my mother and I wasn't going to kiss anyone's robes literally or figuratively.

"We're all here because we have to learn. We are first years and we can't do everything right at first try. You really shouldn't insult Hannah or Neville like this."

Everyone in the classroom was staring at me now. Some of them looked as if they thought I was mad.

"I won't have you tell me how I'm supposed to teach my class, Miss Lestrange," Snape said in a quiet but dangerous voice. "Detention, eight o clock tonight in my office."

I nodded silently. I was in detention. This had never happened before but it had been worth it. I hoped Aunt Andromeda would feel the same way. Dora had been in quite a few detentions. She probably wouldn't be too shocked.

At least, he was leaving Hannah alone for the rest of the lesson.

After lunch, I met Neville. I would do everything to help him get better in Potions. Now, this wasn't only about our parents anymore. I wanted to show to Snape that people could improve even though he didn't seem to believe that. Neville was five minutes late and I believed he had forgotten about the appointment at first but he came hurrying around the corner breathlessly a few moments later.

"You're looking angry," he said.

"Yes. I'm in detention with Snape. Because I told him that insulting everyone who doesn't get their potion right at first try isn't a very good idea."

Neville looked impressed. "You told Snape that? That was a really Gryffindor thing to do you know."

I smiled. "So come on. Now it's on you to do a Ravenclaw thing and study outside of class."

"Are we going into the library?" Neville asked.

"No, my grandmother told me about a room for this kind of thing here in Hogwarts. Let's try if that's really what we need. Do you have your potions ingredients?"

Neville blushed. "I'm sorry, I forgot."

"Well, doesn't matter. We can use mine today. Just bring them next time." I really had enough money to buy new ingredients if necessary.

On our way to the seventh floor we walked into Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and a few Slytherin girls. "Oh look, Longbottom's got a girlfriend," a girl who was called Pansy Parkinson if I remembered correctly shrieked. "How cute!" Her friends broke into stupid laughter.

"It's the little parentless Mudblood," Malfoy said. "No pure-blood would ever show herself with you, would she?"

So he still didn't know, I thought. "Come on," I said to Neville who had stopped in his tracks. I didn't want another fist fight. We were outnumbered rather badly anyway. "They're beneath our level."

We wanted to walk on but Malfoy blocked our way, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. "You're not talking about me this way. Someone needs to show you your place."

I was so tired of this attitude from people like Malfoy or Snape. Always picking on people who were weaker or seemed to be. It was pathetic. The three of them walked towards us. I didn't feel like having a fight but if necessary, I would fight back. The odds really weren't in our favour though. Two of us against six of them. Malfoy really deserved to be the weak one, the one who was "shown his place".

A surge of power rushed through me. Malfoy shrieked like a frightened girl, holding onto his lack. He couldn't stand anymore and stumbled sideways.

"Draco, what's wrong?" Pansy asked. She looked very concerned.

"Only a cramp in my leg," Draco quickly told her.

My heart was beating very fast. The sense of satisfaction had vanished as quickly as it had come. This kind of thing had never happened to me anymore since I had come to Hogwarts. Why now?

I gave Neville a concerned look but he had a smile on his face. Neville obviously hadn't realised that it was me who had caused this. I sighed with relief.

The Slytherins didn't try to keep us from passing anymore. Malfoy gave me a very odd look.

I was glad when we had left them behind but the things my magic did actually frightened me more than Malfoy and his gang. It wasn't normal that you could cause pain to someone without using a wand or a spell, was it? Neville definitely was the wrong person to ask about this and I couldn't think of anyone else at Hogwarts I wanted to discuss it with either. I'd talk to Andromeda when I saw her again.

"Malfoy still hasn't figured it out. And he tells me I have no brains," Neville said. "Don't you want to tell him? It can't be nice to be insulted for something that isn't even true."

"Better than being insulted for something that is true," I responded without hesitation.

We made it to the seventh floor without meeting anyone we knew. I was really glad about that. Our classmates would probably wonder why Neville and I were walking around together too. I found the painting my grandmother had told me about and walked passed it three times, thinking hard that we needed a place to practice making potions. After the third time, a door had emerged. We walked through it and found a small room with a fireplace and a cauldron. Everything else you might need for potions was there as well, only the ingredients were missing.

"That's amazing," Neville said.

"Yes, it is. I'm glad my grandmother really helped us. I think you should light the fire first."

Neville raised his wand. "Incendio," he muttered. Nothing happened. I wasn't really surprised. His voice hadn't sounded confident at all.

"You need to speak more clearly. I need to hear that you mean it," I told him.

Neville tried again but it still wouldn't work. "Maybe you should do it. I don't want to waste your time."

"No, you want to make the potion and you need to light the fire. Simply try again. We've got enough time. Concentrate, picture the fire in your mind and say the spell clearly." That was how Professor Flitwick had explained it and it had worked really well. Mandy had grasped the spell more quickly than I had but we had both been successful in the end.

When he tried to the sixth time, a tiny spark emerged. It was gone before it could light a fire though.

"Good, you're almost there. Try again," I told him.

Neville's seventh spell finally lit the fire.

"Good. Let's start now. Let's make the Sleeping Draught." This was the potion we had made in last week's lesson.

I soon realised that Neville had a variety or problems with potion making. He was relatively clumsy which caused him to crunch or cut his ingredients unevenly. He kept forgetting what he needed to do next which forced him to look it up in the instructions all the time. Often, the right moment to add something was gone when he had found the information. He also tended to become extremely nervous and upset as soon as he noticed that something went wrong. When this happened, he didn't get anything done properly anymore at all.

I told him to cut the ingredients more cleanly even if it took longer and helped him with some of them and I told him when to add what. Remembering this for himself would be the next step. Neville still needed too much time to actually figure out how to do the things I told him though.

The first potion he had attempted to make left the cauldron in a fountain after Neville had added the Valerian Sprigs. This was really strange because the plant was known for its calming effect. This obviously wasn't true for potions though. Neville was close to tears. "I told you I simply can't do it."

"It doesn't work right away."

The room provided us with cleaning equipment though and we were able to get rid of the mess quickly. The physical work seemed to calm Neville a bit. I was glad about this because I was sure he wouldn't be able to get anything done if he was so upset.

"Let's try it together this time," I said. Letting Neville make the potion almost on his own obviously didn't work yet. We'd have to go more slowly.

"It's best if we cut the ingredients first," I told him. "At least those who don't have to be very fresh when they're put in. This isn't necessary for this potion. You can use a preserving spell for such things but we haven't learned how this one works yet. This way, we don't have to take care of that later."

Neville cut his roots more evenly this time. This problem had been easiest to solve. He was used to carefully prune living plants so he could do it with harvested ones as well. Later, I let him heat the water but checked it myself before we started putting the ingredients in.

"I'm going to put the Flubberworm Mucus in now," I told Neville. "You simply watch and try to feel the magic. If you do this, it's getting much easier. You know exactly when the right moment has come."

Neville gave me a questioning look. "What do you mean, "feel the magic". It's a potion, not a spell, isn't it?"

"Yes but potions are magic as well. They aren't simply a mix of the ingredients. If they were, Muggles could make them too. If you concentrate really hard, you can feel the magic, the things that happen inside the potion. If you've seen it done right once, you can do it again because you know what to do. You don't even need the instructions anymore."

Neville didn't seem to believe me but he tried to feel the magic. When I asked him if he was able to do it, he said yes, but I didn't believe him. "Better try again."

I watched him intently and at some time, realisation seemed to dawn on him. "Yes, there's really something," he whispered.

"There is. Now put three drops of mucus in and see how it changes."

He did and if I read his expression correctly, he did feel it. We continued doing it this way. I told him exactly what to do and how to sense the magic changes in the potion. There were moments when he managed this but for some reason, he didn't seem to be able to do it constantly. This way, we would be able to do something about it if an accident was about to happen. Well, at least if we knew of something that could be done to prevent it. In case of the fountain from our first potion, I hadn't known either.

This time, everything went well and we had a potion that looked exactly like the one in our book in the end.

"Good," I said.

"Well, you've done almost everything," Neville said.

"You did help," I said. "Next time you can do more. Do we meet again, same time next week?"

"Yes, if it isn't bothering you," Neville said. "No one has ever told me about the magic in the potion."

"Yes, Snape's barely telling us anything," I said. "He writes the instructions on the board and that's all. It's not in our text book either."

"How did you figure it out then?" Neville wanted to know.

I tried to remember. "I'm not sure, I just felt something and then I read it up in a book in the library. About Potions theory. I can tell you the name if you want to check."

"That would be nice," Neville said and I wrote in on a piece of parchment.

"Next week, we can meet write here," I said. "This way people won't start talking."

"Yes, it probably would be a scandal if someone who knows who you are sees us together," Neville said.

I sighed. "Probably. I think I should go now though. I want to eat something for dinner before I have detention with Snape."

"Snape's rather nasty in detention," Neville told me, a bit of information that didn't surprise me. I wasn't too worried though. I had done nothing wrong and if he wanted to treat me unfairly, it was his problem.

Right at eight o clock, I arrived in front of the Potions classroom. Snape came sweeping out, wearing his usual black cloak. "My office, follow me," he said without responding to my "Good evening, Professor."

Snape's office was darkish room with various dead animals floating in jars on the shelves. There were plants parts and different coloured liquids in corked flasks and bottles and other glass ware as well. I tried to take everything in. It was a little bit creepy but very fascinating at the same time. I wondered what the potions in the bottles would do. Some of them reminded me of the stuff I had seen in the vault.

"You will disembowel horned toads," Snape informed me coldly and indicated a small barrel full of dead amphibians. I took a deep breath. This task sounded rather disgusting. I hoped I wasn't going to be sick or anything.

I put on my gloves while Snape handled me a collection of knives and scalpels. They looked extremely sharp. Potion ingredients and dead animals weren't the only things you could cut open with them, I thought. Pansy Parkinson's guffawing laughter came to my mind and I imagined cutting some sort of pattern into her skin with this. Snape gave me a very odd look. He couldn't know what I was thinking, could he? I hoped not, or I'd be in real trouble.

Snape showed me how to do it with the first toad. "Careful not to injure the organs when you could it open. It could make everything worthless."

Soon, I found myself cutting open the belly of a dead toad. I felt slightly nauseous but also curious to see what it would be like to do this. My hand was steady when I cut the toads belly open without injuring it and carefully extracted its intestines. I was so focused on the task at hand that I almost forgot about Snape's presence.

The second and third toad were the same but afterwards, it turned to routine. Every toad looked similar. Snape obviously noted this because he began to talk to me.

"You're acting like the typical Muggle-born in my class, Miss Lestrange. The purity of your blood line doesn't change that at all. You've read and heard a few things and believe you know everything while in fact, you're nothing but an ignorant little girl."

I slowly sliced the next toad's belly open and tried my best not to imagine it was Snape's. Why did knives give me these kinds of violent feelings? I had only learned about magic about half a year ago. Of course I wouldn't know everything. I failed to see what this had to do with anything.

"I don't think it's fair to have a go at people because they can't get their potions right when you haven't even told them how it's done," I said. "I don't want to be disrespectful, really not. You know lots about potions and I've really been admiring you."

I didn't mention that his way of talking had reminded me of my father. I really didn't want him to know about that.

"The world isn't fair Miss Lestrange," Snape said in his quiet but dangerous voice. It almost sounded as if he would have liked to shout but thought it was inappropriate. "This is a lesson everyone has to learn when he or she comes to Hogwarts. The earlier the better. You've grown up in a Muggle orphanage, am I correct?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I thought they would have taught you that there."

"Yes. And they also taught us that it can only get fairer if everyone does their part," I responded.

"This is nonsense," Snape responded. "These things cannot be changed and those who try to do so aren't rewarded for their efforts. Longbottom's mother always stood up against everything she considered "unfair" while at Hogwarts. She often defended your father among others. Let me only tell you that much, the story didn't end well."

"I know that," I responded, trying to keep the mixture of hurt and anger out of my voice. I wasn't sure if Snape was telling me the truth but if he did it made everything even worse. My grandmother was wrong as well if Neville's mother had really tried to help my father. Knowing Neville, I thought it was likely to be true though. He'd surely help others if he could.

"You do?" Snape said a hint of surprise in his voice. "Very well. If that's the case, you also know of your parents' affiliations, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. In this case, you might understand why it is of extreme importance for you to keep a low profile rather than being seen as the champion of the weak. People say that the Dark Lord is gone and so are his followers. This isn't true."

I stared at him. Everyone had told me that so far. I was startled at the use of the title "Dark Lord" as well. The last time I had heard it had been when I had lived with my parents.

"Yes, Miss Lestrange. The Dark Lord has been severely weakened but he is not dead. Many of his followers escaped Azkaban and are biding their time. Some of them have children here at Hogwarts. Death Eaters do not take kindly to traitors and your mother has never been overly popular among them either or so I've heard. You can guess what that means, can't you?"

My throat felt very tight. Was he implying that those people might be after me because I didn't act like a Death Eater? Or because they wanted to get back at my mother? I had felt that life here was much more dangerous than at the orphanage from the day I had arrived here but I hadn't known how dangerous.

"I thought this was over," I whispered.

"It is far from over," Snape responded. "So far, only few people know about your true identity. You can hope that this will remain so for the moment. It's unlikely that it will forever though. That's why it is highly important that you keep a low profile. You can help your fellow students all you like if you think they deserve this but you need to be discrete about it."

"Yes, Sir. I'll do that." Neville and I had arranged our meetings in the most discrete way we could think of, I hoped this would be enough.

"I do not want to see the kind of display you gave this morning again," Snape said. "If you ignore this advice, I'll have to give you more detentions and take points from you, enough to make it really hurt. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sir." I felt stupid saying this all the time but I couldn't think about anything else to say.

"Death Eater relatives aren't only found in the places you would suspect," Snape continued. "You're not the only one who did not end up in Slytherin, contrary to popular prejudice."

I merely nodded, so I didn't have to repeat myself once more.

"It would be unwise to flaunt your academic achievements beyond what is to be expected from students of your house as well," Snape told me. "That's why I've avoided drawing attention to your extraordinary talent for my subject. You are one of the few people who approach the subject with the right attitude and you have a feeling for the subtleties of magic that is extremely rare in first years. Many witches and wizards never achieve it and don't even seek to do so. Most of them are more interested in lights, bangs and wand waving."

I blushed fervently at these words. Receiving this kind of praise from Snape of all people was extremely rare.

"Thank you sir," I said and had trouble keeping myself from stuttering. "And thank you for warning me. There are really far too many things I don't know yet."

"Do your best to change that," Snape told me. "And now continue with your work. I don't want to be forced to remain here all night."

"Yes, of course," I said and began to cut the next toad apart. My head was full of many things. Snape's warning worried me while I felt very proud because of his praise at the same time. I didn't understand why I had these problems in Charms and especially Transfiguration if I had "a feeling for the subtleties of magic." Why did this only help me in Potions but not in the other subjects?

I didn't want to strain Snape's patience even more by asking him about that. Maybe Andromeda could tell me something about this as well.