Epilogue

Dora and I were having lots of fun as long as she was there but when she went on her journey, the Tonks' house became rather quiet. Both Ted and Andromeda had to work of course. They couldn't take two months off just like that. They tried their best to arrange their schedule in a way that made sure I had to spend as little time on my own as possible but this didn't always work of course. Other people had children at home as well and they needed to divide the work fairly.

I understood this of course but I wasn't really used to being alone. As far as I could remember, I've had other people around me all the time. At the orphanage, this had often been too much and I had longed for a bit of quiet but now that I had it during the day, I wasn't that happy about it. I wasn't used to do something worthwhile with my time on my own but there were quite a few things I could do here.

Dora had left her broomstick though, this way I could practice in the garden if the weather was good enough. This was fun but it was more fun if someone else was with me.

The rest of the time, I spent reading. The Tonks had many books about all kinds of interesting subjects. Ted even seemed to have a certain interest in Herbology and owned a few books about this subject matter. Andromeda wouldn't let me read the books on advanced curses and other forms of dark magic. She said that she wanted me to learn about these things as well but it wasn't supposed to happen alone and without guidance.

Andromeda also had a subscription for the magical newspaper called the Daily Prophet and a weekly called "The Magical Echo." Both were quite interesting. The Daily Prophet reported the current events while the Echo also had many background articles about various issues in the magical society. It was very helpful to learn even though Aunt Andromeda had told me to take the things written in the papers with a grain of salt.

To my surprise, neither newspaper wrote anything about the events at Hogwarts towards the end of the school year. I would have liked to find out more about this of course. Either, the school was trying to cover this up or occurrences of this kind were so common at Hogwarts that they didn't think they deserved to be mentioned. I wasn't sure which possibility made me less uncomfortable.

Spending so much time on my own gave me plenty of opportunities to think about various things that had been bothering me all through the school year. I wanted to talk to Andromeda about this but every time an opportunity presented itself, it didn't feel right. The things I had to ask made rather awkward as well.

On the last day of Dora's two weeks of travel, Andromeda had a free afternoon once again. The weather wasn't too good, rather cool and rainy. We had tea together when an owl arrived. It carried a letter with the Hogwarts crest, addressed to Miss Nymphadora Tonks.

"Oh, Dora will have her results waiting for her when she comes," Andromeda said while she put the letter on the sideboard.

When we sat down again, we talked about the exams for a short while and I finally brought myself to tell her about the things that had worried me. "Do you believe You-Know-Who and his followers might really be interest in me?" I asked after I had told her about the detention with Snape.

"Well, your parents have been very prominent followers of You-Know-Who," Andromeda said slowly. "If you were living with them, it would be quite likely that he'd try to get you on his side if he ever returned which we don't want to hope. I don't think he will be very interested in you the way things are now though. There are always many people who follow him freely, so I don't think he'd bother with you because of your heritage. I think there would be quite a few things he cared about more. As long as you stay away from the Death Eaters, you should be relatively safe. As safe as anyone else because no one really is if You-Know-Who is powerful."

I hoped she was right. I noted that Aunt Andromeda like Professor Snape considered it possible that Voldemort might return to power which was a worrying thought by itself.

"The other Death Eaters would be very likely to want to persuade you of their way of thinking and life if you got closer to them though," Andromeda continued. "That's why I have to advice strongly against this."

"Yes. I don't intend to get to know any Death Eaters," I said. So far, I hadn't heard anything that implied that there might be something worthwhile about the Death Eaters' beliefs. Voldemort himself tried to kill one-year-olds while his followers tortured people into insanity.

"Normally, I'm inclined to encourage people to always here both sides," Andromeda said as if she had read my mind. "I can't really do so in this case though. That's why I have to warn you away from your other aunt as well. So far, the Malfoys don't seem to have found out about you and I hope it will remain that way. The Lestranges who are left don't have that much to do with them anymore."

"That's okay," I said. I really wasn't interested in getting to know the Malfoys.

"There's no need to be scared but you should be careful," Aunt Andromeda said. "Professor Snape is quite right when he warns you of attracting too much attention. I don't think standing up against his unfair treatment of other students should pose that much of a threat for you though, but with teachers like him, the chance of being successful with this is rather slim. The most dangerous thing would be I think if you showed any talents that are interesting to these people. Extra-ordinary duelling skills or a knack for the dark arts for example. You won't have much of a chance to display the latter at Hogwarts though."

I felt my face go red. "I actually did that already," I said and told her about my "talent" to put people and mice in pain.

Aunt Andromeda looked at me seriously while I stared at my feet.

"Your father's family is known to be unusually talented in any form of magic that has to do with pain," she said. "Your father and his brother aren't the first Lestranges who have been arrested because of torture, far from it. Magic shows itself in this form relatively often among members of your family and many of them did not grow up to use this for ill purposes. The Blacks are no strangers to this kind of thing either. You would probably learn to use the Cruciatus curse far more easily than most other people if you ever tried that."

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to have anything to with this horrible curse that could drive people insane. The idea of learning it didn't appeal to me at all. I told Andromeda so

"I'm glad that you're feeling this way," she said. "The simple presence of an ability does not mean it has to be used or abused. You are free to choose the right thing."

People kept telling me that frequently and it did make me wonder if some of them did have their doubts about that after all. I didn't think this was true in Andromeda's case though.

"So my father had this as well?" I asked. "And that's why he hurt the animals in Transfiguration? Professor McGonagall told me that."

"Yes, he did. His magic was extremely chaotic in the beginning and he couldn't control it properly. Everyone believed he did it on purpose of course including Professor McGonagall. He was shunned by everyone who wasn't a Slytherin during his first years at Hogwarts."

I had no trouble believing that. The other houses tended to side against Slytherin and didn't think highly of people in this house. I hadn't had a civil conversation with any Slytherin student either so far.

"Bella and her friends thought it was funny. They never grasped that he wasn't doing it on purpose to annoy McGonagall either." She shook her head.

"Anyway, the way it looks, you don't seem to have this particular problem or at least not as badly as your father did. Your Charms work seems to be pretty good and you passed Transfiguration as well. The subject is very difficult so it isn't surprising that you're results aren't perfect. You really should keep yourself from using your "talent" if you end up in trouble. Better learn some basic duelling spells like Expelliarmus, body bind, this kind of thing."

"I'll try my best not to do it again," I promised. "Do you know what my father did about his magic problems?"

"Lots of practice and mental discipline, Occlumency, that means, closing your mind and controlling your feelings. This is extremely difficult for someone so young and I'd rather not have you learn it if we can avoid it. As a side effect, it might make you unlearn to feel your emotions properly if you start it too early. I don't think this is a good thing though there are people who'd disagree of course."

That didn't feel like something I wanted to do either. Practice would have to do if it didn't get worse.

"Don't worry about these things too much," Aunt Andromeda told me. "The ability to cause pain isn't evil in itself and you don't have to be ashamed for it. So far, you didn't seem to spend your time imagining how you're torturing people or anything, did you?"

"No, not really. Only once in detention with Snape."

"Snape inspires such feelings in many people including Dora," Andromeda said with a slight smile. "As long as you don't indulge in them... This is something you should avoid of course but at the moment, I'm not worried because of that."

"Thank you," I said. "And thank you for listening to me."

"You don't need to thank me. You're my niece and I'm responsible for you. There's something else I have to discuss with you though while we're at it. At the moment, your magical guardianship lies in the hands of the Ministry. Ted and I would like to assume guardianship for you but only if you agree of course. We've already talked to your grandmother and she agrees. She's not happy about you staying with a Muggle-born-" Andromeda rolled her eyes. "But she doesn't really want to return to Great Britain permanently and take over responsibility for another child after it went so badly wrong with those she had."

I didn't need to think about this for long. "Thank you. Of course I agree. I don't really like the idea of being under the guardianship of the government."

Not after I had heard so much about the bad things this Ministry was doing.

"Good. If this is the case, we will begin with the procedure as soon as possible," Aunt Andromeda said.

I smiled. This way, I was soon going to belong to the Tonks family officially.

I had learned many bad things about my family's past but I had also found out where I came from and most importantly, I had met people who care about me beyond their professional obligation. A year ago, I would have considered any of this completely unrealistic, a far-fetched dream. Now part of this dream had come true which was enough to make up for the nightmarish parts. At least so far.

Thank you very much to everyone who has read and followed this story. I hope you've liked it.