(A/N: Over 3000 words long and not a bit of lemons in it. Just to let everyone know. But, I wanted to start sharing the relationship with those at the BAU. Thank all of you for the reviews and the time you take to actually put words to what you feel. I appreciate each word.)
CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM
Sliding triumphantly into her office without running into any of the team members, Penelope shut her door with a happy smile. She had come up the elevator to the floor below and then walked up the stairs to her floor. Edging out into the hallway, she had checked around the BAU to be sure no one was out in the pen and scampered to her office. Now, all she had to do was grab her laptop and make it down to her co-worker's office and, "JJ! I was just-"
JJ looked at Penelope from where she was sitting beside Penelope's favorite chair. Pushing the chair towards her with one heeled shoe, she turned sideways to reach for the lunch bag beside her, "Oh, no, Miss Kitty. Come sit down. We haven't talked lately."
"Really, JJ, I just came by to get my laptop. One of my techs-"
Not taking refusal for an answer, JJ continued, "Penelope, its lunch time. Everyone is gone to lunch or away from their desk. I brought you a garden salad and me a chef. Here's the salad dressing." Pausing, she looked at Penelope curiously, "Unless you were meeting someone else?"
Taking a nervous step forward, she frantically tried to think of how to change the subject, "No! No, I was just going to try and start early. I have time to sit. How's Henry?"
Calmly getting her salad, JJ leaned back in her seat, "Henry's fine. I told you about the only new thing in my life just last week. Remember? We talked about the meeting me and Will had with Henry's teacher." Taking a bite of her salad, she went in for kill, "But, Penelope, what's happening with you? We haven't had a girl talk in a long time."
Stuttering slightly, Penelope opened her salad to buy some time and then sat staring at it for a moment, "Well, uh…"
Putting her salad to the side, JJ leaned towards her friend, "Penelope. You told me about shower sex with Kevin Lynch. About Rossi bursting into your apartment and finding you and a naked Lynch. About sexting with Simms on Cooper's team. About seeing Derek Morgan naked in only a towel coming out of your shower. You tell me almost everything. You didn't think you could tell me when you and David Rossi started seeing each other?" She couldn't help the small sound of hurt that coated her words.
Responding to the emotion in JJ's voice more than her question, Penelope quickly clarified what she was feeling, "Jayj, it's just so new. It's like a dream that I had that hasn't ended with me waking up. How does that happen, JJ?" Inside her own thoughts, Penelope wondered a bit distractedly, how can I still feel him around me, inside me?
"Penelope, I thought you and Kevin were still seeing each other?" Jennifer's voice brought her back to the present for the moment.
"We broke up, Kevin and me. Sorta." Penelope found the words easier to say now than she thought they would be.
"And you didn't tell me?" Her friend's voice was back to sounding concerned, "PG, if you needed to talk to me-"
"JJ, it was so sudden. While we were on that case with the woman, and her baby, and the teenager, well, I found out Kevin was trying to find a way to propose and I panicked." Stirring her fork around in the salad her friend had brought her, Penelope didn't raise her head, "Then he came over to my apartment to talk about it with me. Kevin asked me to marry him and leave the BAU, all in one moment and I realized I didn't want to leave here. Not now, not for Kevin. I asked him to wait, and he got hurt and walked off." The last words were said lower than the rest.
Worried, JJ rolled closer to Penelope, "Why didn't you call me?"
"I. I was hurt. And I missed him." Raising her gaze from the bowl in front of her, she met her friend's eyes, trying to explain something that she wasn't sure she could put into words, "But, JJ, Kevin was my friend and we had our moments and our Tuesday nights. I loved him, but-"
"-you weren't IN love with him." They finished the sentence at the same time. Penelope with the finality of coming to a realization, Jennifer with a questioning tone.
"How wrong is that? That I didn't love him enough? What does that make me? Does that make me a bad person, JJ?" Penelope wasn't so much eating as chasing her food with her fork. Digging gouges into the Styrofoam container as she did so.
"No, honey. No, it doesn't." Abandoning her plate, JJ took Penelope's fork from her lax fingers and held her hands comfortingly in both of hers. "It makes you human. We all want to be loved. We want to be in love and be loved by someone. You can't control how you feel or not feel." Squeezing Penelope's hands, she continued, "You heart is your own. You loved him, Penelope. Kevin knew that. He felt it. He just felt more for you. And there is no way you can control how someone else feels about you or how you feel about them."
"But, I-" Penelope's voice was but a whisper.
"Penelope, you did not do anything wrong. You are a loving person. Your heart and your spirit is only part of what makes you so special. Don't let what happened with Kevin make you feel any less about yourself." Jennifer's assurance echoed in her words. "Is that why you didn't call me or someone else? Did you believe we would think any less of you? Honey, we love you. We only want what you to be happy." Hugging Penelope close for a moment, she leaned back looking the godmother of her son in the eyes, she added, "So. You and Rossi, huh?" The suggestive tone to her voice also held a slight friendly leering humor.
"JJ!" Penelope shrieked lightly before dissolving into a slight hiccup of laughter. Seeing Jennifer reach for her salad, she finally picked up her own and took a bite. She wasn't really hungry, her and Dave had eaten together before he dropped her off. But, she wanted to let her friend know that she appreciated the thought.
Jennifer lifted her own fork and looked at the tomato she had speared, drawling out her next request, "Now, you have to tell me about that. And make it as smutty as possible, will you? I need something spicy for lunch. This salad is just not cutting it."
Penelope dissolved into giggles at her words. "I can't tell you about that! You are an evil woman, JJ. Must be why I love you so much."
Pointing her fork at Penelope, she offered a concession, "Well, if you aren't going to share the really good parts, at least tell me how it came about." Taking her bite, she choked a bit with Penelope's next sentence.
"It started when I kissed Kevin."
"Penelope!" Confused for a moment about how kissing one man could possibly lead to being with another, JJ's eyes were wide as she looked curiously at her co-worker.
Finally able to share with someone what had been happening the last two weeks, words rushed from Penelope as she began, "It was while we were on the case, JJ! I was in the midst of a major brain slip and trying to think of some way to help. Kevin gave me the hint I needed to reach the kids with that underground frequency. I was so excited, I kissed him. Closed lips and there was no tongue. I would have kissed Reid the same way." Trying to explain how much of a 'just friends' act the kiss had been, she went on, "In fact, I've seen Dave kiss Reid on the cheeks the same way for his birthday, so, don't give me that look, Mon Amie!"
Feeling her lips quirk at Penelope's natural use of Rossi's first name, JJ asked, "And?"
"As we were walking out, I just had the thought, maybe we could talk." Penelope tried to explain, "He's a techie like me. He actually understands when I go geek about what I do with my babies in here. I hoped maybe we could work out some way to – I don't know - keep dating, remain friends, just something to get past this awkwardness that was between us."
"So, what happened?" By now, Jennifer was eating her salad while listening to the drama she had apparently been unaware of happening in her friend's life.
"He had a date." The words still came a little flatly from between her lips Penelope discovered as she repeated them again to JJ.
"Did that bother you? PG?" Jennifer stopped to watch Penelope.
"I, I don't think so. Not the way you mean." Sitting her bowl to the side, Penelope ran her fingers over the table beside her. "You know I'm possessive, right, JJ? I think of all of you as my family. I love you all. You're mine. Mine to watch out for. Mine to take care of." Seeing JJ's nod of shared understanding, "Well, in a way, because of the way everything was between us, I don't guess I ever really let go of Kevin. He was still – mine. Was mine. And right then, for a moment, it hurt all over again. But, not as much as it should have, I guess."
Sympathy in her gaze, JJ asked, "And, how did David Rossi walk into this story?"
"I was standing at the elevator, staring at it while I realized that everything was going to be different now. That Kevin wasn't mine to worry about anymore." With a touch of guilt, she explained, "It actually surprised me a little, you see, that I felt sad, but a little relieved. And Dave walked up. I blurted out something to him about just needing to get away. The next thing I know, I was handing over my tablet, my phones and following him like he was the proverbial Pied Piper." With a sigh and a smile, she added, "Oh, JJ, he was flirty and charming. He, he treated me like a lady. A sexy lady. We talked. That weekend was exactly what I needed."
"And now that the weekend is over?" JJ could not tell which she felt more, concern or curiosity, in that moment.
"We're still talking. He said, he said he didn't want this to be a onetime thing. We've talked about things that I never knew about him." Penelope's words got lower as she thought back about those past conversations, the fun ones and the private ones. "About Carolyn and kids and marriages and family. Just, everything. And you know my abilities to dig, JJ. I would have thought I knew everything about all of you by now. And, I've told him things. Stuff I haven't told most people."
Jennifer threw her plate away in the trash and reached out to hug her friend. "I love that you're so happy. You're glowing, PG."
"But?" Penelope could hear it in her friend's voice and she couldn't help but feel a little wary.
Knowing that she shouldn't ask, JJ held her friend close before leaning back. Being friends with one co-worker and respectful of the other, and not wanting her team to be pulled apart again after they finally had returned to being a team, she ventured the question, "Penelope, I have to ask, is Rossi your rebound guy?"
Looking squarely at her, Penelope thought about what she said but immediately threw out that possibility. But, how to explain her certainty to Jennifer Jureau? "JJ, have I ever shown you pictures of my past boyfriends?"
"No, I don't really think so." She thought about it for a moment, "you have talked about a few moments and things, but, I've never seen pictures of them."
Twirling her seat around, Penelope rolled to her computer and signed in. "Come here." She had more photos at home, but she always kept some photos on digital just in case she wanted to pull them up sometimes.
Reciting quietly, Penelope began opening pics on her screen, "Caleb Harris. My high school boyfriend. Football star and not that bright. But, really, I was in high school and brains were not what I was looking for back then."
She moved to the side so JJ could see as she continued pulling up photos, "And this is Jack. I met him at Caltech. After my parents died and I dropped off the grid, I left him and my former life behind at Caltech."
Jennifer watched silently as the photos came across the screen. She didn't interrupt Penelope.
"Meet Mark, one of the guys that I lived with. There were 6 of us renting a squat when me and Mark broke up. But that was okay, because I had met Ollie. Oliver Wood. His accent was divine and he was plugged in. My second longest relationship other than Kevin. I followed Ollie all the way to England. It was when we broke up that I moved back to the states. And it was soon after that when I was recruited by the FBI."
The only similarity between the pictures that she could see was, besides being relatively attractive, each of the boys/men had that rakish look in their expressions. JJ looked to her friend, "They are all good looking, Garcia. And they have that Devil-may-care look in their eye. I can see why you dated them. But, why are you showing them to me now?"
Blowing out a breath, Penelope pulled up four new images and waved her hand at the screen, "Look at these four pictures next to them, JJ. Which two would you put in the list of my boyfriends if all you knew about me was that list?" She watched as JJ looked back at the screen.
Jennifer's forehead wrinkled with thought, "Penelope? I don't understand. You only had one date with Battle. And, did you and Morgan ever date? Why pull up their pictures with a picture of Kevin and a picture of Rossi?"
Trying not to sound vague, but needing to make sure JJ understand, "When I came to the BAU, I met Derek Morgan and I liked him. I mean, really liked him. The guys I usually like, well, it takes a little while before they like me. I know this. But, I'm okay with it. My first attraction is looks and attitude. So, that time it takes for them to notice me – well, it gives me a chance to find out what kind of person they are. And Derek was a great guy. Inside and out. He just never looked at me that way." Penelope's voice didn't dip at this statement. It had been too many years now. Her and Derek's friendship, heck, their whole relationship was too special to be damaged by this anymore. "It threw my compass off a little. To be a bit prideful, I've never had a guy I like not like me back. Not ever." The last comments were stressed with a little force.
Trying to understand, Jennifer repeated, "So, there you were, your 'compass' as you call it, spinning out of whack and?"
"Battle side swipes me with his flirting. Asking me out when he first meets me. Physically, he was cute. You can't deny that. And there was this look in his eye." With a depreciating smile, she continued, "Of course, now I know it was the psycho crazy look, but, my judgment was skewed. Then, I had that fight with Morgan. With the result that, I jumped at a date with Battle. Before my usual waiting period was over. Then I was shot, Battle turned out to be an UnSub, and I was banned from the FBI. Kevin met me through my meme and our first contact was online, life and death as it turned out. He was safe and he was fun, JJ. He understood the things I did and I could share things about my babies with him."
Understanding lit Jennifer's eyes as her eyes focused on the pictures of Derek Morgan and David Rossi, the two she would naturally put in Penelope's list of boyfriends. Looking to the side, her gaze skimmed over Battle's photo and landed on Kevin Lynch's, "And he was your rebound guy."
"Kevin Lynch was my rebound guy." Penelope agreed firmly.
"Wow. I never realized." JJ was looking away as she thought this over, finding that things fell remarkably in line with that train of thought when you thought about it that way.
"Neither did I, really. Not till he asked me to marry him." Penelope had finally relaxed back into her chair now that all the feeling and story was out.
"And David Rossi?" Jennifer returned her glance to Penelope.
"Real, JJ. So real, it scares me more than when Kevin asked me to marry him." She held both arms of her chair in her hands, her nails glinting in the light as she curled them around the arm rests. "This means something. Having Dave tell me he wanted this to be more than one night made my heart stop for a moment. Having him promise –"
"Oh, come one." Jennifer leaned forward, "You can't stop there! Inquiring minds want to know."
"Yes I can. Let's just say, there have been some very serious moments between us. Moments I'm not going to relate to you right now!" With a nervous smile, Penelope went on, "I'm worried, JJ. Worried I'm going to do something, say something that will ruin this - this - this thing between us. It has gotten messy. So very messy now."
"Penelope, stop! You and David have worked beside each other for years. You're friends. You know what having a case entails on our personal lives and he knows the importance of this job to you. He's arrogant but you're stubborn. He's controlling but you're rebellious. Both of you would do anything for a friend or family. Both of you are extremely loyal. I think you both have a chance together." She reached out to cover one of Penelope's hands again.
Penelope squeaked out a reply, "Really, JJ?"
"Yes, honey. Just, don't stress about it right now. You two are seeing each other. Revel in it. Enjoy it!" JJ leaned back and looked if she was going to continue, but was interrupted by a ringing phone.
Turning on the speaker, she let the call open into her office.
"You're on speaker, my Italian oregano!" Penelope couldn't keep her natural personality from responding, knowing that Dave was on the other side of the line.
Dave's voice sounded in the room, "Kitten, I'm going to take the rest of the afternoon for personal leave and go pick up Mudgie from the place I boarded him at."
"What's a Mudgie?"
"My dog, Penelope." Penelope swore she heard a grin in David's voice.
"You named your dog Mudgie?" Penelope couldn't even think of what kind of dog would look like a Mudgie.
"It was his name." You could hear the shrug in Dave's voice and he continued rapidly, "I'm going to bring him home and I'll meet you back at the BAU when it's time to leave."
"Okay, my sexy Romeo. I will amaze myself here till you return at a suitable time with a chariot fit for a Goddess." Pressing the disconnect, she spun to face Jennifer, slight panic building again. "JJ! He's got a dog. What if his dog doesn't like me? What am I gonna do? A dog is like the third test you have to pass after family and best friend. What –"
"Penelope! Listen." JJ had a laugh in her voice, "If Morgan doesn't like you dating Rossi, are you going to stop seeing him?"
Wondering why that was brought up now, Penelope answered, "Well, no. I mean, I hope Derek will come around, and I will work on him till he does. But, I'm not going to stop seeing Dave just because Derek Morgan doesn't approve."
"Then I think you're completely safe. I don't think SSA David Rossi is going to stop seeing you just because his dog doesn't like you." JJ sat back in her seat as she reassured her friend, "I'm sure that if such a thing happens, Rossi will happily work on his dog till he gets the results he wants."
"Oh, may the Power's that be always grant me such favors, thank you." Clasping her hands, she stopped as a thought hit her, "Wait, are you comparing my adorable chocolate Adonis to a trainable dog?"
JJ laughed out loud as she stood up, lunch time over by now. "I'm not saying that!" Walking to the door, she opened it and grinned at Penelope as she walked out. Sticking her head back inside, she laughed, " I'm just saying…"
CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM/CM
(A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this. It just seemed like so much of it needed to be said, and JJ was the one that seemed best able to share the conversation with Penelope. I hadn't really thought about how the others would sound in my head except for Morgan and Spencer, so I hope JJ 'sounds' right.
Let me know what you think. Reviews are welcome! KK)