Chapter 9: Eighty Years of Grief

Both Spike and Buffy were asleep on the bottom level of the crypt at the moment. Buffy was laid out on an old bed and covered with a small blanket and Spike's coat on top of that. Spike sat on the chair next to her, sleeping with his cheek resting on his propped up hand that leaned on the arm rest.

Spike arrived back at Clem's crypt just as the sun was starting to come up. Buffy didn't stir at all as Spike carried her the whole way, and once they were inside Spike took her to Clem's bed and laid her down to watch her rest. He watched her until he couldn't hold his eyes open anymore.

As Spike rested he had mixed up dreams that made him shift in his seat.

"…One…good…day."

"… I've always been bad..."

"You're all covered with her. I look at you... all I see is the Slayer."

"I don't smell a soul anywhere on you…why do you even care…?"

"…I'm counting on you…"

"…I made a promise to a lady…"

"…to protect her…"

"Till the end of the world…world…world…world…"

The echo of the word 'world' in Spike's dream made him jolt out of his sleep and look around his surroundings to find out where he was. He instantly laid eyes on the sleeping form of Buffy on the bed next to him, and when seeing her peaceful face made Spike sighed in relief. He slowly got up out of the comfy chair, making sure he didn't make a sound, and went up the ladder to the upper level of the crypt.

Once Spike got to the top of the ladder he saw that Clem was watching the television at a low volume, not noticing that Spike was in the room.

"Hey." Spike said, and in an instant Clem jumped up, spilling his snacks.

"Woah..." Clem said holding his chest and breathing heavily, "You guys got to stop doing that to me…"

"Sorry." Spike mumbled.

"I thought you were asleep." Clem said, bending down on the ground to retrieve the dirty potato chips he spilled.

"Yeah, I was but I- I just…" Spike trailed on, "What time is it?"

"You guys slept all day…its night again…" Clem said.

Spike nodded.

"She still asleep?" Clem asked quietly.

"Yeah." Spike simply said.

"So…what are you going to do?" Clem asked, and after a pause he asked, "About Buffy?"

"Not really sure…" Spike said and walked over to a chest in the corner of the room and started looking through it, "Maybe…maybe I'll take her out of town… somewhere else…"

"Why?" Clem shrugged.

"You kidding?" Spike asked, looking up at Clem, "You think she'd want to stay here? I mean…look around you…Sunnydale is no longer sunny anymore…this place has gone downhill…" Spike said while looking back in the chest.

"But this is her home…don't you think she would want to stay? It's familiar to her." Clem asked.

"Familiar?" Spike looked back up and started walking towards Clem, "This place is the total bloody opposite of familiar…she probably couldn't tell the different from this place and hell…"

Clem looked down at the ground because he knew it was the truth. He remembered when he first saw her and she asked 'Is this hell?'

"...staying here is something I don't even want to do…" Spike continued.

"Do you know why she's here? What brought her back?" Clem asked.

Spike looked down at the ground, "Yeah…"

"You do?" Clem asked.

"Yeah…magic…" Spike said quietly.

"What?" Clem asked.

"…it always has consequences…" Spike continued to say quietly, ignoring Clem's question.

Clem just stared at Spike and then turned his head in surprise at something that stood behind Spike. Spike turned around and saw Buffy standing by the ladder. The silence was unbearable for all of them, but none of them knew what to say.

Buffy took one last look at Spike and then started to head for the door. She left so fast that Spike couldn't call out her name until he got out the door.

"Buffy!" Spike called out.

Buffy stopped and turned around, waiting for Spike to talk. But all Spike did was stand there and stare at her, and when she knew he wasn't going to speak she turned around and continued to walk.

Spike gave a small growl in frustration and started to walk again, trying to catch up to her in the graveyard, "Wait!" He yelled out, but she didn't turn around or stop, "Wait!" he shouted again and finally got up to her to touch her arm.

"Let go of me." Buffy mumbled and took her arm away from his grasp and kept moving.

"No." Spike said, and stepped in front of her and set both of his hands on her shoulder, "Listen…look…I know this is confusing to you and all—"

"You don't know nothing…you don't know what I'm feeling." Buffy said harshly.

"You're right…and you don't know what I'm feeling either." Spike pointed out and still held on to her shoulders, while she struggled a little bit.

"I said let go of me!" Buffy said and shoved him away and punched him in the face, which made him go tumbling onto the ground instantly. Buffy looked at Spike on the ground, holding his face in pain, and then in a moment she walked away.

Spike climbed back onto his feet, looking anger and frustrated while rubbing his nose. He then started to walk again, picking up on speed, and grabbed her arm once again.

"Don't walk away from me…" Spike growled at her, "Don't you dare…"

Buffy looked at him for a moment and then punched him once again in the face and did a kick in his stomach, "Leave. Me. Alone." She said, looking harshly at him.

"You need help…" Spike mumbled quietly, "Leaving you out there alone will just get yourself killed."

"Good." Buffy said and turned around but didn't get a single step in as she felt Spike turn her around once again and hold her shoulders with a harsh firm grip.

"NO…not good!" He said, "Seeing you die the first time nearly killed me…eighty years …eighty years, Buffy…eighty years of torment…eighty years of pain…eighty years of days that I'd fear that I'd wake up and not remember your voice, or your smile…do you know what that's like?" Spike asked with anger.

Buffy didn't answer and just stared at Spike and he stared back. He slowly let go of her shoulders, giving her the choice to run or stay.

"You need someone…I know I'm not your first choice but…I'm someone…" Spike said when he saw she wasn't running away, "And if you decide to run away…I'm coming after you..."

"Why would you want to do that?" Buffy said quietly.

Spike paused and looked at her, "Because I love you…"

TBC…