Hi everyone. While it is fun writing this Viewathon, I was a bit disappointing by the response I got by it. I only got one review. (Thank you to that person who reviewed)
Each of these chapters takes me three to four hours to write. It's very daunting. I want to continue this series until at least the mid-season finale, but i would like a bit of help from all of you. :)
Teen Wolf Season Three Viewathon
Chaos Rising
Me: Okay, episode two. Let's do this.
Allison: (Drawing on her arm while driving)
Me: That can't be safe.
Stiles: We're going to a party!
Me: Yes! I've always wanted to be invited to a high school party. Uh…
Scott: I dunno. (Looks at a missed call form Allison)
Me: The fact that you didn't answer that call says quite a bit about you in my opinion. And that, everyone was the werewolf secret handshake. I knew that was a real thing!
Scott: How's my breath smell?
Stiles: I'm not smelling your breath.
Me: But that's what best friends are for!
Scott: Can you at least tell me what kind of party this is?
Large group of girls: Blue solo cups!
Me: Drunken girls. So far it's the awesome kind Scott.
Attractive White Girl: Whooooo. It's my birthday! And I want sex. (Runs up and kisses Stiles)
Scott: (In the background) …
Me: Scott's look is priceless right now.
Attractive White Girl: Come downstairs with me and help me pick out a bottle of wine.
Stiles: Yes.
Me: Can someone actually verify that this kind of thing happens in real life? I don't think it does. I think that MTV is LYING.
Scott: (Walks up to the girl who dunked a drunk Stiles into a pool at Lydia's Birthday Party in season two) Hey.
Super Fan: No.
Allison: Yes.
Stiles/ Attractive White Girl: (Making out)
Me: That is a lot of freaking wine.
Attractive White Girl: You know what I want for my birthday?
Stiles: A bike?
Attractive White Girl: You've never done it either?
Stiles: Turned seventeen? No, not yet.
Me: MTV you're a liar! Stop making me think my high school experience was unfulfilled! Aw who am I kidding…
Attractive White Girl: Do you want to?
Stiles: Do I want to?
Me: You are in a basement. Couldn't you go upstairs or something?
Attractive White Girl: My brother keeps some condoms in the upstairs bathroom.
Stiles: Right. (Trips and runs off)
Me: And cue the sad Scott/Allison music they always play for serious moments.
Scott: This isn't the talk we were going to have is it?
Allison: I need to show you something. (Holds out her arm)
Stiles: (Bursts into the bathroom) Condoms, yes! (Holds up XXL condom box)
Me: Dude.
Cailin: Poor Stiles.
Stiles: (Looks down)
Me: Dude.
Attractive White Girl: Just walkin around barefoot in her basement.
Me: Y'know you could have stashed some blankets or a pillow down there.
Room: Minor Earthquake happens.
Me: How does no one else notice that? I mean Scott's right outside the house.
Wine Bottle: Explodes!
Attractive White Girl: This isn't funny.
Me: Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people who are going to die this season.
Wine Bottles: (Exploding like they really hate everyone and everything)
Me: How does no one hear her screaming?
Attractive White Girl: (Taken by a mysterious force)
Me: Alright, theory time. Totally blaming Gerard. I don't think the Alpha Pack has anything to do with this one. I bet Gerard wants his own pack of insecure teenagers. Can his bite turn people though?
Stiles: Heather? (Picks up her bow)
Me: What happened to all the wine everywhere? Anyway, she totally ditched you bro.
Cailin: Poor Stiles.
Me: That girl is probably being brutally murdered and you're worried about Stiles?
Cailin: Poor Stiles.
Me: Yeah. Sucks to be him. Anyway, the body count is now up to two, even though we haven't actually seen any bodies.
Me: When did Beacon Hills become so urban? That is a sweet loft though.
Isaac: I'm starting not to like this idea.
Derek: He knows how to do it, I don't.
Me: What do you mean you don't know how to do it? You accidently gave Jackson memories in season one, and you were half dead and a beta at the time!
Isaac: You know Scott doesn't trust him right?
Me: Wow, Scott must have left one hell of an impression on you last season.
Derek: Do you trust me?
Isaac. (Very long pause) Yeah?
Me: Well that sounded confident.
Isaac: I still don't like him.
Derek: Nobody likes him.
Me: How can you not like sassypants Peter?
Peter: Boys!
Derek: We don't like you. Now shut up and help us.
Peter: If I mess up you could end up paralyzed or dead. But don't worry, I've never paralyzed anyone before.
Derek: (Huh?)
Isaac: Wait, does that mean…
Peter: Shhhhh.
Me: And Peter has glowing blue eyes. When will we ever find out the secret behind the eyes? We were already told it wasn't genetic.
Derek: What did you see?
Peter: Stuff.
Me: Which translates into you're all going to die.
Derek: (Looking at the bruises) I don't see anything.
Me: Are you blind? Geez.
Scott: They're trying to help.
Me: Why is Derek in their school anyway? Couldn't they have done it before school? I bet Derek just wanted to see their English Teacher. Y'know. Because they're totally going to be a thing.
Derek: This one, who used me to resurrect my psychotic uncle, thank you, and this one, who shot about thirty arrows into me and my pack.
Me: My pack and I. It's a good thing you're about to start dating an English teacher.
Stiles: Alright, come on. No one died…
Allison: My mother died. And I'm here to help Scott. Not you.
Me: You know there are other ways you can help Scott. Like by talking to him. Or making out with him…
Derek: Yeah, well sorry about your mom. JK. Find something real.
Allison: Challenge Excepted.
Scott: Give her a chance.
Derek: Then maybe you should tell her what her mother was really doing that night.
Me: Wait, she doesn't know? Why didn't anyone tell her? It totally would have stopped her from trying to kill everyone last season. Sure, she probably would have hated her mom which would have sucked since she just died, but still…
Stiles: Blah blah blah.
Scott: My Werewolf senses are tingling.
Me: Which is weird considering that the Twins didn't react the same way.
Coach: Economics!
Me: It's good to know that even though Lacrosse is out of season, we're still going to get our daily dose of Coach rambling.
Coach: What is the stock market based upon?
Scott: Risk and reward?
Me: Actually Supply and Demand. Anyway what with the word of the day and now business tips, I feel like I'm learning too much on this show. This is supposed to be a mind-numbing teenage drama. It's supposed to distract me from the fact that I don't have a social life or a girlfriend. Not teach me things.
Coach: Does anyone have a quarter?
Stiles: (Tries to take out a quarter and the XXL condom comes flying out)
Cailin: Poor Stiles.
Me: Not really. Every girl in that class, plus Danny now wants Stiles. A pity Lydia isn't in that class.
Coach: McCall, risk, or reward?
Scott: (Holds up the quarter)
Me: I would have totally put that quarter in my pocket and take it as my own reward.
Scott: Uh, no?
Me: Come on. You have Werewolf super powers. If Kyle XY can do it while he's drunk as a skunk, then surely you can to?
Coach: Who's next?
Stiles: Me!
Sheriff: That Heather girl is missing.
Stiles: Tell me about it.
Danny: YES!
Coach: Reward!
Allison: Look at me, using my mac. Totally not product placement or anything.
Lydia: I want one.
Allison: Which one?
Lydia: The straight one, obviously.
Me: Well not obviously since you just stated that you want one. That implied that you didn't care which one you got. And it's nice to know that the twins are concentrating on their studies during their breaks instead of killing people.
Me: Ice bath time! I have a feeling that this might hurt.
Deaton: If we can slow your heart rate down slow enough you will slip into a trance-like state.
Me: Uh, what? I took ice bathes all the time in school for sports. They're painful but quite enjoyable once you go numb. Isaac would have to be in there for like an hour for his heart rate to slow down that much.
Isaac: It's safe though right?
Deaton: Uhhhhhhhh.
Me: I'm getting the feeling that Isaac is going to be this season's punching bag.
Rubber Glove: Snap!
Stiles: Grins stupidly.
Pack/ Deaton: Glares at Stiles.
Stiles: Okay.
Isaac: (Takes off his shirt)
Me: It was only a matter of time. Not that I'm complaining that Isaac isn't taking off his pants, but I still would have taken off my pants before getting in.
Pack: (Proceeds to try and drown Isaac)
Me: Yes, because that will definitely get his heart-rate down.
Isaac: (Stops struggling and goes limp)
Me: Body count now 3. But seriously, you all could have handled that better.
Deaton: Okay, now before we begin, does anyone have any embarrassing or person questions that they would like to ask Isaac?
Derek: Isaac, who took the last Klondike bar last week?
Isaac: …Peter…
Derek: I'm going to kill that motherfucker again when I get back home.
Lights: Flicker.
Me: Well that's inconvenient.
Isaac: (Starts freaking out and grabs Scott)
Me: Awwwww.
Isaac: They're worried about what they'll do during the full moon.
Derek: If they're looked in a room together they'll tear each other apart.
Me: Seriously? It's been four full moons since they've been bitten and they haven't learned control? It took both Scott and Isaac one.
Lights: Flicker!
Me: Can't you just turn off the lights? That would solve that problem.
Derek: Time to fuck everything up!
Isaac: (Freaks out) I saw the name! It's the bank!
Everyone: Uh.
Isaac: What?
Stiles: You just said that you saw Erica's body.
Me: Body count now 3.
Derek: She's not dead!
Me: She's totally dead. Haven't you seen the end of the episode yet Derek? But guess who isn't dead!
Derek: Who was in the vault with Boyd then?
Scott: Maybe it was the Attractive Black Lady?
Isaac: Naw, it's definitely a Werewolf in there. Hey, wouldn't it be funny if it was Derek's long lost sister? Someone our own age who I could fall in love with?
Derek: So how do we break into a bank fault?
Stiles: With the power of the internet!
Me: Well this has to be the first time that the internet is has failed anybody. Surely that's a sign that you're all going to die.
Sheriff: Boys, time to get up.
Me: How is it even possible to fall asleep like that?
Allison: I need to find something real. (Stares at the bolt cutters in her trunk before walking past Scott/Stiles)
Me: How on earth did the two of them get the two closest parking spaces to the school a second before the bell rings? Bull. Shit.
Me: Aww, look at Allison breaking into a bank all by herself. I can't figure out what Allison's deal is this season. First she seems all meek and now she's breaking into a bank full of Alphas. I really want her to just make up her mind. You can be a badass who plays by her own rules. It's okay. It's called redemption.
Allison (Slips into the bank without trouble)
Me: Wouldn't the doors be chained, AND locked? Whatever.
Stiles: And this is how we're going to break into the vault!
Derek: I can totally punch through that wall.
Stiles: Totally can't.
Derek: (Breaks Stiles' hand)
Peter: This is stupid. Erica and Boyd are already dead. They were sweet kids. They will be missed.
Stiles: Will somebody please kill him again?
Peter: Derek, seriously.
Derek: You did steal the last Klondike bar.
Peter: Drk. Pls.
Allison: Look at me, being all badass!
Me: You're breaking into a bank full of Alphas on a full moon! Not only that, but you aren't even armed!
Attractive Black Lady: (Jumps Allison from behind)
Allison: Rather quickly subdued.
Me: Wait, you aren't the Attractive Black Lady! You're Ms. Morell! I mean, you are an attractive black lady, just not MY attractive black lady. Okay, I'll shut up now.
Ms. Morell: You have no idea what you just stepped into.
Me: Well neither do we. Although I must say that it is pretty hot the way Ms. Morell is holding Allison against that wall.
Allison: Um, excuse me, but I am a badass hunter. I am a strong, independent woman and I don't need no Werewolves or guidance counselors taking care of me.
Ms. Morell: Get in that God damn closet!
Allison: Okay.
Alpha Chick: ?
Allison: (Knocks over bottle of Ammonia)
Me: Okay, that was actually pretty freaking genius right there.
Allison: (Tries to eat her phone)
Me: Again with the product placement.
Allison: (Shines her light into the corner)
Erica: Very much dead.
Me: Confirmed Body Count, 1.
Stiles: I hate waiting.
Peter: I could beat you unconscious and wake you when it's over.
Me: Lol.
Stiles: Do you think Erica is really dead?
Peter: Do you think I really care?
Stiles: Maybe they're living in the bank? Like a wolf den.
Peter: Wolf Dens? You mean like the underground system of caves hidden deep in the woods.
Me: Watch there actually be an underground system of cave out in the woods.
Peter: Wait, what are the bank walls made out of?
Stiles: I dunno; let's look inside this textbook sized manual.
Scott: Risk and Reward.
Derek: Which means what?
Me: If you had finished high school you would know what Derek.
Scott: Maybe this isn't a good idea.
Derek: When is anything we ever do a good idea? You coming or not?
Scott: Hell yeah!
Derek: Good. Hard Core Parkor! (Starts scaling the wall)
Stiles: The walls are made out of (Insert unspellable/unpronounceable rock name here).
Red Queen: You're all going to die down there.
Alice: I've heard that before.
Me: OMG, a Teen Wolf/ Resident Evil fic. Somebody please write that.
Vault Wall: Breaks
Derek: Rolls out, clearly landing on rubble and easily passing over the line of mountain ash along the walls.
Me: Does that mean the ash needs to be in a completed circle to work?
Scott: (Steps in less dramatically and answers his phone)
Stiles: Get guys need to get out, or you're all going to die!
Derek: Cora?
First Time Viewers: Whaaaaattttt?
Cora: Derek, get out of my room! Gosh!
Scott: (Notices the mountain ash) OMG, we're so screwed.
Ms. Morell: Yup. (Seals the circle)
Scott: Well our next guidance meeting is going to be a fun one, I can just tell.
Cora: (Eyes flash yellow)
Me: What does it mean?!
Cora/Boyd: (Attacks Scott and Derek)
Stiles: (Yells into the phone before it goes silent) Bitch hung up on me!
Blind Alpha: Don't kid yourself Marian. It's not the first time you've gotten your hands dirty.
Me: Arrggg. So much back story that we don't know! We know she isn't a complete traitor since she didn't rat out Allison and left it so Allison could rescue them later, but still…
Scott: You know her?
Derek: She's my sister, my younger sister!
First Time Viewers: Whaaaaattttt?
Me: Well this season just got interesting.
Allison: Look out!
Scott: (Proceeds to get the shit (and blood) beaten out of him)
Allison: (Breaks the seal) Boyd!
Boyd/ Cora: (Runs out)
Me: She is so lucky they didn't stop to rip her throat out.
Derek: OMG Allison you are so stupid!
Allison: Well I'm not the one turning teenagers into killers.
Me: Ohhh, burn!
Derek: No, that's just the rest of your family.
Me: Ohhhhhhhh. Double burn!
Allison: Like that was my fault.
Derek: Oh yeah? Well Yo Mama!
Me: Is Derek seriously about to break out the yo mama jokes at a time like this?
Allison: What does he mean Scott?
Scott: (Has blood dripping all down his mouth) Uh.
Me: And que the cliff hanger!
Lydia: (Asleep fully clothed and in an awkward postion) EEEYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Me: (Bursts out laughing)
Cailin: Why is that funny?
Me: I have no idea. It just was.
Next Time, on Teen Wolf
A lot of bad things happen and we might get some answers. Maybe. Probably not though.
Reviews are nice. Reviews remind me of Cake. Anyway, feel free to let me know your theories about what will happen next!