(A/N) Flametongue: Apparently, you guys are finding this fic entertaining! Seems like most of you think I have a sick twisted sense of humor...but, come on! It's the Swedish way of comedy! And most of my 'female' readers seems to have taken quite the liking for Lust...hmmm...I wonder why...One reviewer (whom I won't name) actually said that she would 'SO go out with Lust'

I decided to update as soon as possible; why? Because an anonymous reviewer threatened to shove her keyboard up my -beep- if I didn't... (She's one of the girls who apparently licks her lips when thinking about Lust)

Some reviewers asked me 'how do you come up with this stuff?' and the answer is quite simple; I LOVE the seven deadly sins! Don't ask me why...so I just combined my love for sins (heheh) with the idea of more than one Harry...and as for how I come up with the humorous stuff, well, I'm a funny guy!

And to DestroyerDRT, this is not a Harry x Hermione fic, so I'm not really sure...Hermione is a bit to smart to be fooled by Lust's charm...

I took a seven deadly sins test earlier...hehe...anybody who can guess which sin I am get a cup of coffee!

(A/N) thekecmaster: I'll let you guess which one is mine. Answer after Chapter 8.

Chapter 02 – Enter Sloth

Luckily, the gargoyle that usually stood in front of the staircase to the headmaster's office had already been moved, so the group of four quickly climbed the stairs and burst through the door to Dumbledore's office without even knocking.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Hermione exclaimed at once. "There's something wrong with Harry!"

"Yes, we have noticed." Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eyes.

Hermione blushed as she noticed that Dumbledore wasn't alone in his office and she was afraid she'd interrupted something important. Apart from Dumbledore, the four heads of houses were also here. Professor McGonagall of Gryffindor was standing next to Dumbledore, Professor Flitwick of Ravenclaw stood on a chair on the other side of Dumbledore, Professor Sprout of Hufflepuff sat in a chair by one of the bookshelves, looking very concerned, and (Ron's and Ginny's noses wrinkled in disgust) Professor Snape of Slytherin was standing next to the door. Hermione nearly gasped when she noticed a very lazy looking Harry Potter sitting in a chair vertically from Dumbledore's desk, with a very concerned looking Dobby standing next to him.

"We were just about to interrogate this one when you four oh so gracefully burst in." Snape sneered as he motioned towards the lazy Harry.

Hermione blushed deeper.

Dumbledore smiled reassuringly at Hermione. "Apparently, this Harry goes by the name of Sloth."

The four students looked at said Harry.

"It sure fits him." Ron frowned. Dumbledore smiled.

"Professor," Hermione said, turning her attention back to Dumbledore. "From what I understand, Harry has been divided into seven different people, how?"

"It is all because of this." Dumbledore said and picked up a small black orb lying on his desk. "The muggle name for it would be 'the eye of Lucifer', although our kind would like to prefer to it as 'the eye of mischief'. Whoever touches it will be divided into seven people, each with a personality resembling one of the seven deadly sins."

Ron frowned at the sphere in Dumbledore's hand. "But you're touching it now, professor."

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, but since Mr. Potter has already drained it of its power, it's quite harmless."

"But, where did Harry get it?" Ginny asked.

"Apparently Mr. Potter took a little stroll last night," Snape said. "And he happened to stumble upon one of Hogwarts' countless hidden treasures."

Dumbledore nodded. "Fortunately, Dobby here was with him, and so he was able to inform me immediately."

"SO WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT YET?" Ginny burst. She blushed when every head turned towards her.

Dumbledore however, smiled. "It took me quite some time to look up the information about the eye of mischief in any of my countless books," He said. "I figured it would be best to be well informed before we began to 'round up' all the Harry's."

"Well, you better do that quickly," Ron said and nodded his head. "I'll be surprised if there are any Slytherins left that Wrath hasn't beaten to pulps." He earned a quick glare from Snape after that statement.

"And it seems we are running out of virgins around here." Ginny said, again without being able to stop herself.

"Ginny!" Hermione hissed.

McGonagall blinked. "I beg you pardon, Miss Weasley?"

Dumbledore (what do you think he did!) smiled. "It seems that Lust has been on a prowl."

Professor Sprout looked rather alarmed as she turned to the four students. "He hasn't done anything…forceful, has he?"

Ron frowned. "Not that we know of."

"He's being quite the charmer though, mind you." Ginny said, she was having quite the problem to contain herself today.

Dumbledore (guess what!) smiled and shook his head at professor Sprout. "I do not believe that it is in Lust's nature to make any young women do anything against their will," He said with the usual twinkle in his eyes. "It takes the sport out of it, I should think."

"So how do we get Harry back into one piece?" Luna spoke up for the first time since they entered Dumbledore's office. "I'm going out with him on Friday, and it would be quite troublesome to bring seven of him to Hogsmeade."

Almost everybody stared at her with raised eyebrows, although she didn't seem to notice. Dumbledore had a (what did he have?) smile combined with his raised eyebrows in amusement; before he could answer though, a chuckle was heard. Everybody turned and stared at Sloth who had been sitting quietly in his chair until now.

He raised his eyebrows and looked at Luna out of the corner of his eyes. "Lust made you promise to go on a date with him?"

Luna looked at him. "I wouldn't say that he 'made me', but yes, I promised him a date."

Sloth chuckled; there was a cold tone in his voice that scared most of the people in the room. "I don't think you should get your hopes up," He said. "That's just Lust, if he's still here by Friday he'll probably have forgotten about you," He chuckled again. "And if you get old Harry back…well, I wouldn't expect too much out of that bloke if I were you."

Everyone stared at him. Dumbledore's smile had long since faded from his lips (finally!).

"So you're saying," Hermione spoke up, "that you lot is nothing like Harry?"

Sloth stared lazily at her; then he looked down and sighed. "We all have some part of Harry in us; we're using his body, after all." He looked up and smiled sadly. "But combined with our personalities, he's nothing like he usually is. Although we are mostly his inner sins, just enlarged. Just look at Wrath, he's beating up everybody Harry's always wanted to beat, and a couple of others. Pride is the part of him that he never shows, the arrogant one, no matter what ol' Snape says, Harry's not arrogant."

Everybody cast a glance at Snape, whose face was very stern.

"And if I know Gluttony right," Sloth chuckled (really, people are freaking me out!). "I wouldn't be surprised if he's raiding the kitchen of everything he never got to eat as a child."

Hermione and Ron both had similar thoughts: 'Damn those Dursleys!'

"What about Lust?" Luna asked in a slightly choked voice that was hardly noticed.

Sloth looked at her for a moment before speaking. "Well, since Harry hasn't really had any romantic moments in his life, Lust is trying to compensate for that by having as many girls as possible."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "What about Greed and Envy?"

"Envy is just an annoying prat who complains about everything that won't go his way," Sloth said. "Harry has always been one who never complains if he can avoid it, or just feel like it. Greed, well, he's not that hard to figure out; he wants everything Harry always wanted but never got, and much more. He's probably out there collecting money so he can buy a Valhallan death rune."

Hermione, Flitwick, McGonagall, and Sprout all gasped.

Ron frowned. "What's a…Valhallan death rune?"

"It's an old Viking rune stone, very, very rare," Hermione said as she looked back at him. "I heard there's only four left in the entire world."

Dumbledore nodded sadly. "True."

"Why would he want a death rune?" Ginny asked.

"The Valhallan death rune is an extraordinary artifact that has supreme power if used correctly," Snape said. "It is said that it could even bring back souls from the other side, and thus by recreating their bodies be given life anew."

Ron's and Ginny's mouths fell open.

"He wants to resurrect Sirius?" Ginny asked.

"Or his parents." Sloth said and leaned back in his chair. "Like I said; Greed wants everything that Harry never had, one of those things is parents."

"How would you know about the death stone?" Professor Sprout asked.

Sloth chuckled (again?). "Harry looked it up once a couple of months ago, in the Room of Requirement."

There was short silence, before Luna spoke up.

"What about you?" She asked, looking Sloth straight in the eye.

Sloth raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"Yes," Luna said, never taking her eyes off of him. "Which part of Harry are you?"

Sloth sighed deeply, oh the bother of talking. "I'm the part of him that he wants to be, but never will be able to be." He paused a moment. "He wants to…'not care'. Everything about Voldemort (Sprout jumped, and Flitwick fell off his chair), his parents and Sirius' deaths, he wants to forget about it, he wants to be normal, but he know he can't, he has too much weight on his shoulders, wouldn't you agree, professor?" He looked at Dumbledore, who nodded slowly.

Everybody was quiet for a good two minutes.

"So," Hermione said. "How do we get Harry back into one piece?"

"First of all we need to get all of the 'sins' to be in one place." Dumbledore said. "We should all focus on that before going through the rest of the process."

Hermione nodded and Dumbledore smiled (Noooo! He's back!) reassuringly.

"Well, that won't be a problem, right?" Ron said and looked around at everybody in the room, his eyes landed on Sloth. "Will it?"

Sloth looked up, and then turned his gaze back to the ever so interesting floor. "You won't have too much trouble with Envy or Gluttony, their both pretty thick." He paused. "You might think that Pride would be an easy nut to crack, considering his arrogance, but he's not bragging over nothing. He's smart. Lust and Greed are both sly as foxes; you'll have some problem with tricking them." He stopped.

When he didn't continue, Dumbledore asked "And Wrath?"

"He's the basilisk in the phoenix nest," Sloth said. "If he suspects that you're trying to trick him, he'll go berserk. And believe me; he's scary when he's mad. He's all the anger Harry's kept bottled up for the last sixteen years."

Dumbledore nodded.

Sprout looked hesitant. "Is there a possibility that this will be…dangerous for the students?"

Sloth stared at her, he suddenly smiled. "Only with Greed and Wrath. Greed is manipulative and will break you down mentally; Wrath just breaks your bones."

"Why are you telling us this?" Snape asked suddenly. "Aren't you aware that if we succeed with pulling you all together, you will not be 'free' anymore?"

"Oh, I'm aware alright," Sloth shrugged. "I just don't care."

Dumbledore turned to the four students in front of him. "If you can avoid these matters, please do, but if you accidentally find any of Harry's sins except Greed and Wrath, try to lead them towards Professor McGonagall's classroom, since you are all friends of Harry's, I should think you'll have an easier time than anyone else."

They all nodded.

"Take Sloth with you, he may be better off in your hands." Dumbledore motioned for Sloth to follow them.

Sloth sighed and stood up

"Now, if you please excuse us," Dumbledore said.

They nodded again and left the office.

"Okay, what do we do?" Hermione asked when they had descended the staircase.

Ron shrugged. "Go back to the common room?" He suggested.

Ginny snapped her head in his direction. "What?" She said, disbelievingly. "We can't do that, we have to round up all the Harry's!"

"Dumbledore told us to avoid doing that unless we ran into any of them." Hermione said.

"Well, then we will simply have to make sure we do run into them then." Luna said in her annoying matter of fact tone.

"Precisely!" Ginny said, beaming at Luna.

Hermione looked hesitant.

"Alright," Ron sighed. "Where do we start?"

"Well," Ginny said and thought for a second before continuing. "Gluttony is down the kitchen, right?" She looked at Sloth for confirmation.

He shrugged. "Probably."

Ron held up a finger, a thoughtful look on his face. "Wait, I think…maybe we should check Tonks' office."

Hermione frowned. "Why would Gluttony be there?"

Ron shook his head. "Not Gluttony."

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Then who…?" Her eyes widened in realization. She shook her head. "No, he wouldn't….would he?"

"Well, he did tell me he thought that she was in need of a 'spanking'." Ron said.

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Lust is after Tonks?"

Ron nodded.

Hermione and Ginny looked at each other, and then they darted off in the direction of Tonks' office.

"Hey, wait up!" Ron yelled and quickly followed.

Luna sighed and grabbed the ever so lazy Sloth by the wrist and ran after them.

They ran into Tonks a little earlier than they had expected; she came around a corner and looked around furiously. She saw Ginny and Hermione come running towards her and quickly asked "Have you guys seen Harry?"

Ginny and Hermione looked at each other as Ron came to a stop next to them; had Lust gotten to her already? "Uhm…well…"

Before they could finish answering, Tonks saw Luna come dragging with Sloth.

"You!" She pointed at Sloth with a furious look on her face.

Sloth raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"Don't you 'me' me!" Tonks paused for a second; musing about how the hell she'd been able to come up with such a confusing sentence.

"Uhm…Tonks?" Ginny dared to ask. "What did Harry….do?"

"He…he…he…" Tonks stammered, she stomped her foot and exclaimed "He spanked my butt!"

"Ah." Ginny nodded in understanding.

"And he didn't even let me spank him back before he disappeared!" Tonks continued furiously as she glared at Sloth.

Everybody raised their eyebrows at Tonks. Hermione shook her head and said "Uhm…Tonks…there's something you should know…"

"What?" Tonks asked impatiently.

"Aaah, there's my little Tonky!" Said a voice.

Tonks turned around and her face went white (literarily) as Lust walked down the corridor towards them.

"Hey there Sloth!" He waved.

Sloth just nodded lazily.

Tonks eyes were wide and her head turned back and forth furiously from Sloth to Lust. "What the hell is going on?" She asked.

"You've been a bad girl, that's what's been going on." Lust grinned and he winked at her when he reached her, making her blush. "You were supposed to follow me, but you got lost." Lust totted.

Tonks crossed her arms, trying to look bossy. "And what makes you think I wanted to run after you?"

Lust sighed and leaned closer to her. "Because you simply can't get enough of me." He closed the distance between them and planted his lips on hers.

Tonks eyes widened and she made to push him away, but strange enough she found her eyes close as her hands traveled up to the back of Lust's head to pull him closer.

Luna stared at the floor; the dreamy look on her face was replaced by a look of sadness.

As Ginny noticed Luna's sad face, she put a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Don't worry, it's not the real him, remember?"

Luna looked up and smiled slightly.

Ginny smiled reassuringly.

Suddenly Tonks broke away from Lust. "We can't do this here." She stated before quickly grabbing Lust-Harry by the arm and dragged him to the nearest classroom. She kicked the door open and pulled him in as she quickly planted her lips on his. Lust closed the door behind them and there was clicking sound, telling people it was locked.

Hermione quickly walked over to the door and knocked. "Uhm…Tonks?" She called.

"GO AWAY!" was Tonks' reply.

Hermione quickly backed away from the door. She turned around and looked at the others.

Ginny closed her eyes and held up a finger. "I thought Lust was the one doing the seduction."

Sloth shook his head. "Never underestimate his charm, although it seems as 'Tonky' has been having some perverted dreams about her best student."

Ginny and Hermione wrinkled their noses in disgust.

"She didn't even stay around long enough for us to explain the situation." Ron frowned.

Suddenly there was an angry roar in a voice that could belong to none other than…

"Wrath!" Ginny gasped and began running in the direction of the noise.

Luna grabbed Sloth by the arm and quickly followed.

"Ginny! Luna!" Ron called to them. "Dumbledore told us to stay away from Wrath!"

They kept running nonetheless.

Hermione groaned. "Come on, someone might be in trouble." She said as she and Ron began running after them.

"Might be?" Ron said, eyes wide.

(A/N) Flametongue: second chapter; done.

Sorry if it wasn't too much humor in this chap...I'm saving it to the next chapter! -evil laugh-

HAH! I actually made a cliffhanger!

Now, would any of you guys please try to guess what sin I got in a seven deadly sins test? One character in this fic actually shows a bit of my personality...

REVIEW! Or feeeeel my wrath!...and my greed...and gluttony...oh, and my envy of others who gets reviews instead of me...and of course, my lustful NEED of reviews...IF YOU DON'T REVIEW, I'LL GO INTO SLOTH-MODE AND MAKE YOU WAIT A LOOOONG TIME FOR THE NEXT CHAP! Hag, I'm scary...and damn well PROUD of it!