Glancing up from where he laid on his belly in some underbrush John noted that the sky was darkening and growing cloudy. He hoped that it wouldn't rain again; he'd already fought one bloody battle in the rain and wasn't looking to repeat the experience. After walking for what had felt like days, but had only been an hour at most John and Jaden had met up with the 12th infantry and had been instantly deployed as a part of a team to instigate an ambush on a unit of Ishtan soldiers.
John was exhausted, hungry, and every muscle in his body felt ready to mutiny, but he ignored it, like any good soldier would, there would be plenty of time to rest after the Ishtan beasts had been dealt with. Next to him he could feel Jaden starting to get restless with all of the waiting around and had to admit he knew how the guy felt, John just wanted this to all be over with already.
Suddenly with out warning gunfire broke out and explosions started going off. John didn't know and didn't care who had fired first, all he knew was that the Ishtans were there and that it was his duty to make them pay for their atrocities. Breaking cover with the other protectors, John couldn't see the enemy at first only hear the rattle of weapons fire and see figures moving deftly though the smoke that quickly filled the area. Moving swiftly into the battle with Jaden at his side John adapted quickly to the limited visibility and soon started to make out Ishtan shapes. Not hesitating he started firing at said shapes.
It didn't take John long to realize that the Delran's were fighting a losing battle; they were just too out manned and out gunned. And even though every instinct he had screamed at him to get the hell out of doge he just kept firing at anything that moved. When he ran out of ammo he tossed his weapon aside and started throwing punches never missing a beat. Before he even realized what he was doing he had one of the Ishtan soldiers pinned down to the ground his hands tightly around the beast's throat, the sounds of battle moving farther and farther away.
"Sheppard, stop!" John's head snapped up as the figure below him gasped frantically for air and desperately fought to get free. Standing in front of him was another Ishtan beast, with its weapon lowered.
Not giving the thing the chance to decide it wanted to kill him John swiftly maneuvered himself around so that his back was to a tree. In the same movement he dragged the Ishtan he'd been choking around in front of him as a human shield wrapping an arm around its throat in a tight choke hold.
"How do you know my name?" He questioned once he was certain the second Ishtan couldn't kill him without killing his buddy.
"It's me, Ronon." The Ishtan took a step closer causing John to tighten his choke hold. The body in front of him let out a choked squeak once again starting its desperate struggles for freedom.
"John, you must let Rodney go, you are killing him." Glancing to his left at the new voice John spotted another Ishtan slowly approaching. He glanced frantically between the two soldiers trying to decide who the greater threat was. "John do you not recognize us? It is me, Teyla and Ronon. We are here to take you home."
"No, you lie." John shook his head his vision starting to blur. "You're Ishtan beasts you destroyed that village, killed all of those innocent civilians."
"Look closer, you've been brain washed, Sheppard." The Ishtan/Ronon demanded. "You're Jumper was shot down, these people, the Delran, they captured you."
"No, they rescued me." John's head started to pound as the Ishtan forms in front of him started to blur, being momentarily replaced with the images of his teammates. Releasing his hold on his hostage John raised both hands to grip the sides of his head.
"That is what they want you to believe. They have been indoctrinating you, training you to fight their war." This time the Ishtan/Teyla spoke up.
"Listen to Xena and Conan, Sheppard." A voice snapped, breathlessly. "They…we wouldn't lie to you." John's head snapped up, there was no mistaking that irritated whiny tone of voice. Suddenly the Ishtan forms in front of him meld away to be replaced with his teammates.
"Rodney, Teyla, Ronon?" John was getting really confused.
"Yeah it's us, Sheppard." Ronon huffed.
"How….how can you wear those Ishtan coverings?" John stared at his friends in disbelief. "Those beasts they're monsters, heartless animals."
"They're the ones who helped us find you." Rodney answered rubbing his bruised throat.
"We tracked you to a Delran training camp. We infiltrated the facility, but by the time we got there you were gone. They had already brought you here to fight this battle. Before today, nothing you experienced here was real. It is the method the Delrans use to draft and train soldiers." Teyla stated softly as she cautiously moved to crouch next to John.
"I don't believe you! " John scrambled back slightly.
"We can prove it to you." Ronon stepped up, offering his hand to John.
Not knowing what to believe, but knowing that his team would never purposely lie to him or harm him John took Ronon's offered hand.
"Do you recognize this place?" Teyla asked John as the group approached a village a short time later.
"It's Tiran…" John stared in confusion at the perfectly restored village.
"It's a protector, look everybody a gloried Protector." John completely froze, his chest tightening when he heard a familiar voice shout out. It couldn't be it wasn't possible Merkin was dead; he remembered kneeling in the boy's blood.
"John…?" Teyla's hand on his shoulder startled John.
Glancing around briefly he ignored the villagers moving towards him, whirled around and swiftly started walking away. His team silently fell in step with him.
--
"Doc seriously how much longer do I have to stay here?" John was getting impatient, there was no reason for him to still be in the infirmary, he was fine. He'd been back in Atlantis for several hours now with no ill effects from his time on MX2-444 – physical ones anyway.
"You'll stay here until I damn well say otherwise Colonel." Carson stood his ground.
"Do I have to beg, because I will, I'm not above begging you know." And he wasn't, not at this point. He just wanted a shower, a hot meal, and to sleep for the next week (in his own bed) was that so much to ask?
"Look Colonel I know you don't want to be here, but you were stranded on an alien world for several days, made to hike through unknown terrain picking up who knows what kinds of bacteria, and given an unknown mind altering drug. And all of that after being involved in a serious Jumper crash," he held up a hand to stall John's protest. "I saw the photos of the crash site Major Lorne's team took, so don't bother trying to make it seem less than it was. Now I'm going to go see if your test results are finished I expect you to be right here when I get back." Turning Carson left giving Elizabeth a nod as she pasted him on her way to John's bed.
"How are you feeling John?" Elizabeth asked moving over to the bed he sat on.
"Like a hostage." John snap irritably.
"John…"
"I know, I know Carson's just being Carson," John cut her off. "But damn it is it really so much to ask to be allowed to go back to my own room? To just be left alone for five minutes?"
The sound of footsteps approaching stopped Elizabeth from replying. Glancing up she spotted Carson coming back. "Carson?
"Physically he'll be fine. By the looks of things the Delran's used a combination of mind control techniques, heightened emotional stimuli, and highly sophisticated psychotropic manipulation. From the condition of your hypothalamus Colonel, I'd say they had you so mixed up they could have convinced you your own mother was a Wraith."
"So everything I experienced was just a simulation?" John scrubbed a hand through his hair.
"Except for the battle you were fighting when your team found you." Elizabeth clarified.
"And the men I fought beside up 'til then, none of them were real? Grady and Braxton weren't actually killed in front of me?"
"As far as we can tell, they were a part of the simulation. The idea was to make you bond with your fellow soldiers as well as the villagers, so their deaths would enrage you."
"Why me?"
"Just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You were just as promising a recruit as anyone else. We've been told the Delrans have dozens of these training facilities where they conscript their own people as well as any off-worlders they're able to capture."
"In short, Colonel, you've been subjected to a highly sophisticated form of propaganda." Carson summed up.
"Then the Ishtans don't kill innocent civilians? They don't desecrate the Delran's dead?"
"Honestly we don't know, but the Ishtans accuse the Delrans of the same atrocities." Elizabeth admitted.
"I wanted to kill them, every last Ishtan I wanted them dead."
"Evidently that was the point."
"Dr. Weir Ambassador Lar would like a word with Colonel Sheppard." Elizabeth turned to see Teyla leading Ambassador Lar towards them.
"I wish to tell you how pleased my people are to hear of your recovery." Lar addressed John. "I'm only sorry we weren't able to rescue you sooner from those beasts."
Feeling a rage boil inside of him John clenched his hands into fists just barely restraining him self from swinging. Wordlessly he slid from the bed he sat on and walked out of the infirmary.
"Was it something I said?" Lar questioned uncertainly.
"I'm not sure. If you'll excuse me a moment." Elizabeth quickly followed after John. "John…John…" John ignored her and kept walking. "Colonel Sheppard!"
That got John to stop, but he didn't turn around. Elizabeth approached him as if approaching a wounded animal. Gently she laid a hand on his arm, "John?"
"I wish it were as easy to stop hating as it was to start." With that John walked off again. This time Elizabeth let him go, like Carson had said John would be fine physically…but mentally that would be a longer time coming.