Rating: T
Where else can I find this story? All five parts are on the first page of Part 5 of the original Young Justice Anon Meme on LiveJournal.
Hero
Masks, Part V
Chapter 13: Mostly Honorable
He's nearly out of the hospital, when he recognizes Lois Lane, talking to one of the nurses. He takes a deep breath and wishes the Genomorphs had programmed him to believe in a deity so he could have someone to pray to. Then he goes to meet Lois. At least, Robin did say he could take all the time he wanted.
As he smiles and waves at her, he goes ahead and thinks a little prayer anyway. It's not very good, because no one's ever taught him what exactly a prayer is, but he figures, if there is a god and he/she/it/they hears it, then maybe he/she/it/they will take mercy on his soul (if clones have souls) and take into account that no one ever taught him how to pray, so it's not his fault if he doesn't know how to do it.
Lois doesn't look happy to see him, he figures because she knows he's going to want to interfere with her snooping, but she waves back anyway.
The tight smile on her face gives way to a real one when he tells her he's changed his mind, and he's going to give her that interview after all.
Lois offers to take him to a coffee place, but what he's about to tell her isn't the kind of thing that should be overheard, so he invites her to Mount Justice and hopes that it won't get him expelled from the team, but hey—it's where he lives, where else is he going to take someone for a heart to heart? So he takes her to the old phonebooth entrance in Gotham. He's going to enter her as a guest under his own authorization, but it turns out, she's already been registered as a guest by Superman, which, actually is a huge relief.
"This isn't the Hall of Justice," she notes when they beam into the Cave.
"No. It's an older facility."
"MountJustice? I thought they decommissioned that years ago."
Conner shrugs. "Yeah. They did, then they needed a place to stick me. This is where I live."
"You live here by yourself?" she asks.
"Well, technically, Miss Martian lives here too."
"And the Martian Manhunter lets his niece live alone with you?" Lois asks.
"Lucky for me, right?" Conner laughs. "Though, there's always a Leaguer on duty as our 'den mother'—though, oddly, all of our den mothers have been men. My favorites are Red Tornado and Captain Marvel, because—well, I guess that doesn't matter. But there's also Batman who gives us missions, and Black Canary is our principal trainer. All the others have rooms here—but they all have families to go home to.
"Gee, where are my manners? Are you hungry? Can I offer you something to drink?" he asks her.
"Sure," she nods. "A cup of joe'd be nice."
He nods his head. "Kitchen's this way."
"What kind of coffee would you like? We have an espresso machine."
"A latte would be lovely," she tells him.
So he makes her her latte and warms the milk with his laser vision. She takes the mug from him with a grin on her face. "Showoff."
For himself, Conner just grabs a can of cola out of the fridge. There's a store-bought cake in the fridge, so he cuts off a couple of slices and offers some to Lois.
"Thanks," she says. "Now about my interview…" she has a smile like a cat on her face. It reminds him of M'gann's impression of Catwoman.
"Yes. Your interview."
Lois reaches into her purse and takes a voice recorder out. "Do you mind?" she asks.
He sort of does. But he can't say so at this point, so he just shakes his head. If he's wrong, he'll have to worry about destroying the recording later.
Lois turns the thing on. "OK, Superboy, so the first thing I want to establish is that everything you say while the recorder is on is on the record. If you want to go off the record, tell me, and I'll turn the recorder off, ok?"
"Ok."
"Alright then, so the next thing is, what's the catch?"
"Catch?" he asks, "What do you mean?"
"Why'd Batman change his mind about you talking to me on the record?"
"I… I don't know if he did. I don't technically have his blessing for this. But, um, he told me to figure it out, and I think, I think this is the best thing to do."
"Interesting… what do you have to figure out?"
"Can we go back to that later?" he pleads, "let's get the other things out of the way."
"Sure thing kid. So, first things first, as far as I've been able to figure, and please, correct me if I'm wrong, you're Superman's clone?"
Conner nods. "Yes. I was originally created by Project Cadmus, a cloning facility in DC, from genetic material stolen from Superman. I was made in a test tube, aged to 16 over the course of 16 weeks. They called me Project Kr, and my stated purpose was to replace Superman should he perish, to destroy him should he turn from the light. And, recently, I found out Lex Luthor was the one who provided Superman's genetic material to the geneticists at Cadmus."
Lois bites her lip. "You know kid, you don't have to give me all those details."
"It's ok. I can give you the details, and then you can do whatever you want with them."
"Didn't Batman warn you about me?" she asks. "Yeah. He also said you were mostly honorable. I think you're more honorable than that."
"Thanks kid… I think… Ok—so, Cadmus cloned you—but you're not still with Cadmus right?"
"Of course not. There was a fire—Robin, Kid Flash, and Aqualad went to investigate, and found me. We, um, barely escaped with our lives." He doesn't tell her about Dubbliex. He doesn't know what's become of the genomorph, but if he's still with Cadmus, he doesn't want to implicate him.
She takes a bite of her cake. "You know, I just realized, when I publish this, I'm going to lose a lot of money."
He doesn't really understand. "Huh?"
"We have a pot at the paper—when you first appeared, we all put money on where we thought you had come from."
"And where did you think I had come from?" he asked.
"Well, I put a hundred bucks on you being Superman's son."
"That's a surprisingly unimaginative wager," he tells her.
"Yeah. With these kinds of things I normally just bet against whatever I'm hoping it'll be—that way I'm happy either way."
Conner cocks his head. "Why didn't you want me to be Superman's son?"
"Not… not his biological son… and… it's silly, it's just… With Superman I like to pretend that I mean something to him, and if he had a secret son I had to learn about on the evening news… it would mean… well, anyway, that's neither here nor there."
"Can we go off the record, for just a moment?" he asks her.
She presses the stop button on the voice recorder. "We're off the record."
"Ms. Lane," he calls her that because she told him she liked it, "I don't know Superman at all, but I know you, at least a little, and really, the only thing I can say is that for a guy with like, 20 different kinds of vision, Superman is pretty blind. Clearly the man doesn't know a good thing when he sees it."
Lois rolls her eyes and takes another bite out of the cake. "Yeah, well, that's pretty obvious," she says, and he has the impression she's not talking about herself.
"I don't know. Maybe it's the alien thing. Maybe it's because he spends so much time flying and can't get his head out of the clouds, but, I don't know… I think you need a guy with both feet on the ground. You know—Clark's not gay. He's crazy about you. I talked to his mother about it. She agrees. And I don't know. Maybe he's not your type. I think he's such a better guy than Superman, but I know I'm kinda biased. But, I mean, if he is your type—I think you should let him know, because he's not ever going to make a move because he thinks he can't compete with Superman."
Lois eyes widen almost imperceptibly, but in an instant, she regains her composure and turns the recorder back on.
"So, ok, that was then, but you've just captured the Joker, which is no easy feat. It once took Batman six whole months to bring him back to Arkham, so you've come a long way from where you were the first time we saw you in Metropolis."
Conner shrugs. "It's been a while since then."
"So, it's been about three years, right, Superboy?"
Conner nods. "Yeah, and you know what Ms. Lane? You can ho ahead and call me Connerr."
"Conner?" she asks, confused.
"Yeah. It's my name. My civilian name. Conner Jones."
Lois laughs. "Right. For a moment I thought you were serious."
"I am. My civilian name, my secret identity, is Conner Jones."
"Like the boyfriend in Hello Megan?"
"Yeah… It's my girlfriend's favorite TV show, and well, Robin's a troll and Batman doesn't know anything about pop culture. But I'll prove it to you, wait here." And he zips to his room and picks a yearbook off his shelf and takes it back to Lois.
"See," he says, opening the book to the portraits section, and pointing to his own picture with the name Conner Jones beneath it. Then he turns the page and point to M'gann's picture, which read Megan Morse. "She even looks like the character from the show. People comment on that all the time: Megan and Conner."
"So, you have a secret identity like Batman?"
"I mean… I didn't for a while. But, yes."
"But… you don't wear a mask…"
"Obviously, I don't need to. And besides, if I did, what good would it do? Superman doesn't, and everyone knows I look just like him."
"Does Superman have a secret identity?" she asks.
Conner considers lying about it, but then he decides to tell her the truth. "I'll tell you off the record."
She nods and stops recording. "So, does Superman have a secret identity?"
And Conner realizes that he has to tell her, if for no other reason, because she needs to know that there's more to Superman than she knows, and that she might never get to know the Kryptonian.
"Yes. I don't know what it is, and I didn't know for a fact that he did have one until Batman confirmed it recently."
"You mean, somewhere out there, some HR department is cutting a check to John Doe, and John Doe is really Superman?"
Conner shrugs. "Look, I don't know anything about Superman's secret identity. All I know is that Batman said he had one, and that he wouldn't have trusted Superman otherwise."
"How the hell does he hide it though?" Lois asks, clearly upset at the revelation. "I mean, who could possibly be stupid enough to look at Superman's face and not recognize it?"
Again, Conner shrugs. "I mean, people don't recognize me. They might think I kind of look like myself, but, come on, if you looked at me in school, what the hell would you think were the chances that I could outrun a bullet? People just… look… Conner Jones is very mundane. People don't really see the fantastic when they expect the mundane."
"Why are you telling me this?" she asks him suddenly.
"I mean, you wanted an interview…"
"But you're giving me way too much detail. That stuff about Cadmus… your name… I mean, if I publish your secret identity, your life at school will be pretty drastically over."
"Well, I'm thinking of applying to college, and my grades are pretty mediocre and I don't have any extracurriculars on paper, so I was thinking, if I came clean, it'd explain my grades and I could probably write a pretty good essay about it and get into Harvard."
Lois laughs. "Good one. No, really, why are you telling me all this?"
"Look, I told you—I'll tell you things, and you can decide what to publish."
"You know I can't publish any of this," she tells him, frowning. "If I write that you were originally created as a 'weapon' by a shadowy cabal of scientists to take down Superman, no one will ever trust you. And I can't publish your name in the paper. It'd be the end of your private life and your school would suddenly become the target of a ton of attacks. So why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because I needed to make sure I was right."
"Right about what?"
"That I could trust you. If I told you my name and you published it, yes, that would be the end of my private life… but I could get another name, or I could just be a superhero fulltime. But there's a much bigger story here."
"What is it?"
"You know, you've got really good instincts."
"I know. But why?"
"You're right about Bruce Wayne and the Justice League. You're right. After he… after he flat-lined, several times, they couldn't get the EEG to pick anything up. I'm not sure on the exact details, but I do know that Black Canary and Superman were guarding him while the doctors thought he was brain dead, and Superman called in the Martian Manhunter to see if he could determine if there was anything left of him, something that the EEG wasn't picking up. So, you see, you're on completely the right track."
Lois leans back and crosses her arms. "Two questions: A, how do you know all of this, and B, why are you telling me?"
"I know this, because I was there. After I spoke with you that day, M'gann and I flew to Gotham to make sure B… Bruce wasn't dead. And I'm telling you, because you're going to figure it out eventually, but I figure if I tell you, it'll save you time, and there's less of a chance of the story getting out."
Lois leans in. "Ok. So, I take it Martian Manhunter dug into Bruce's brain and dug up the fact that Bruce was still in there? Why? I mean, Bruce is a nice guy, but he's not that nice. Was it just because Superman couldn't stand to have someone die on his watch? Or is it because Bruce is rich? Because he donates a lot of money to the Justice League?"
"Probably for all of those reasons. Except… J'onn didn't find anything." Conner licks his lips and feels his throat swelling painfully. "I… I don't think he looked too hard… he wasn't too excited about doing it in the first place. I think he thought it was an inappropriate intervention in human affairs.
"But, anyway, he didn't find anything. You should have seen the look on Superman's face when J'onn said 'Nothing.' One little word, and Superman looked completely defeated. He crumpled right up. I think that's the only time I've ever really understood him."
"But, Bruce is fine," Lois asks, trying to decide whether to be confused or skeptical.
"Because M'gann is a stronger telepath than her uncle. I begged her."
"So, ok, she was the one who was able to recover Bruce's consciousness?"
"Yes. But it wasn't easy."
"Why? I mean? Like I said, Bruce is a nice guy and all, but why did the League go through all this trouble?" She shakes her head. "It can't just be for the money. I'm sure Bruce plans to be as generous in death as he is in life. It can't be just for the technology that Wayne Enterprises has, because Lucius Fox is as adamant a supporter of the Justice League as Bruce is. And I don't think it's just the fact that Superman didn't want to lose someone, because, like it or not, there are plenty of people Superman doesn't save, and I know it always hurts him when someone dies… I know he mourns every failure, but he doesn't call the Martian in for them.
"And, here's another thing I don't get… why did you care? It wasn't because Superman cared, and I get the impression you're not really in on the day to day operations of the JL…"
"Because of the way Superman said 'Bruce' when his heart stopped beating. There's only one person in the world Superman talks to like that. I was watching the broadcast with the Kents, and Superman said it, and it clicked. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense, and my first instinct was to run to Gotham."
"I'm not sure I know where you're going with this…" Lois says anxiously.
"Think Ms. Lane. A 30-something Gothamite who's very important to Superman."
Lois stops for a second, then it clicks. She starts laughing, and for five minutes straight, her peals of laughter bounce off the Cave's walls. She laughs so hard for so long, she catches the hiccups. Conner gets up to grab her a glass of water, then he sits back down and waits for her to be done laughing.
She wipes a tear from her eyes. "You know kid, for a second you almost had me going."
Conner just shrugs. "You don't have to believe me. But it explains a lot. I mean… means, motive and opportunity, right?"
"Yeah. Right. Because, I'm going to fall for that. Sure. Bruce is rich. Sure, he hates crime… but come on…"
"You used to date. I bet you've seen him without a shirt on…"
"Yeah, but—
"And I'd bet anything he disappears all the time for really bad reasons."
"Well, yeah, ok, but that doesn't—
"How much money do you think the Batmobile costs?"
"I don't know."
"Well, how much does the US military spend on a tank, and do you think a piece of custom hardware like the Batmobile would cost more or less?"
"Ok. So the Batmobile is expensive. Really expensive."
"And he has a plane, and a boat. And a lot of small weapons he has to replace. And of course, he needs a place to put them all—
"Ok, ok, so being Batman is expensive and Bruce has a lot of money. At the most that would tend to show that there's a possibility that Bruce would be maybe funding Batman. Which isn't all that surprising, since it's well known that Bruce provides money to the Justice League. And frankly, kid, if you're willing to come up with such an incredibly bizarre cover story, I'm willing to bet anything that there's a really juicy story here."
Conner groans in frustration. "There is! It's that Bruce Wayne is Batman! Batman's not on an of-world Justice League mission! The reason Superman and Robin showed up when the Joker crashed the Wayne Foundation Gala instead of Batman and Robin was that Batman was already there on camera and couldn't get away to change!
"That's why Bruce Wayne is so angry with Superman and Clark! Because it was his information on Lex Luthor, and Superman had no right to give it to the press when Batman didn't want to, and Batman was right, Clark's article made a huge mess, and I'd bet anything it was Luthor who sent the Joker after Bruce Wayne."
Lois sighs. "You're really serious. You think Bruce is Batman?"
"No. I know so. Look, for my birthday party last year, we had the celebration at the Batcave. There was a thin old British man in a domino mask—now I've met him in his civilian identity, he's Alfred, Batman's butler. And when J'onn couldn't detect any thought, Alfred told the doctor lady to arrange for the organ donation paperwork, and I freaked out and yelled at him, because I thought he was giving up on Batman. They all were. Even Robin—
"So, what, Robin is Dick Grayson?" Lois interrupts.
"Yeah. When he stopped by the Planet, he snapped a picture of us together and said we'd laugh about it some day. I thought he was just a weird guy, but now, I get what the joke was. Except we're not laughing."
Lois groans and rubs her eyes. "I think I need a stiff drink."
"We don't have any alcohol here," he tells her.
"If you're not lying kid, I was dating the goddam Batman and didn't notice, which means I'm the worst reporter ever."
Conner smiles. "No. It means Batman's very good at what he does."
Lois looks glumly at her recorder, and then, slides it over to Conner. "You owe me a new recorder kid."
He takes it up and looks at it. "You're not going to write this up?"
"Of course I'm not going to write this up!" She sinks her face in her hands. "First, no one is going to believe that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Second, if I put out a ten page expose, carefully documenting all of my sources and definitively proving that Bruce was Batman, it would effectively ruin Bruce. Not to mention that if the crazy people in Gotham found out Batman was sick, they'd all come after him.
"And also, I'm not going to publish your name so Lex Luthor can send you gifts at school.
"So, basically, I'm an idiot, and you owe me a new voice recorder. And since now I know Bruce pays your allowance, I want it to be a really nice one. Preferably with good dictation software. I mean, Justice League good. Also, since you've just handed me the story of the century and there's absolutely nothing I can do with it, I want a bottle of really good scotch."
Conner melts the recorder in his hands with his laser vision, and then hands it back to Lois.
"I can give you a tour of the facilities, here," he tells her. "You know, sorta like a consolation prize."
Lois nods and so he takes her through the rooms. He shows her Wally's wall of souvenirs and tells her a couple of the stories behind them. He even shows her his own room, and regrets it slightly when she opens his closet and finds a bunch of costumes.
She pulls out a loincloth. "What's this?" she asks with a twinkle in her eye.
"Erm… Tarzan of the Apes?" Conner can feel himself blushing.
"Yeah?" She pulls out a couple of other costumes. "You like dressing up?"
"My girlfriend likes it when I dress up," he tells her.
"Your girlfriend's a shape-shifter, right?" she asks with a wide smile, apparently getting over her disappointment.
"Like I said, lucky me."
She pulls out the Batman costume and sends him a look that sort of says anything.
Faster than a speeding bullet, he yanks it out of her hands and throws it under the bed. "ThatwasforaHalloweenparty," he tells her.
"Uh-huh," she nods.
"No. I swear. It was for a Halloween party. Robin went as Batman too. He was pretty upset I stole his costume. Batman went as the Grey Ghost."
"Huh," Lois cocks her head, in thought. "That's Bruce's favorite TV show. He used to watch it with his dad. His Gray Ghost memorabilia collection is one of his less well publicized eccentricities." Then she smiles her nosy-Lois-smile. "I think it's adorable. Weird, but adorable," and Conner's not sure if she's talking about Batman's love for an old TV show, or the fact that he occasionally role plays as Batman.
Lois spreads her hands through the air: "I can see it now: 'The Secret Sex Lives of the Super-Men'. That'd be a fun piece, don't you think?"
"Erm…"
Lois laughs. "The look on your face kid. Suddenly you've turned beet red, kid; that waitress is right, you kinda do look like Clark."
"Promise, no articles about me dressing up like Batman?"
"I dunno kid," Lois teases. "You did offer me a consolation prize." Then she laughs and puts an arm around Conner. "No, don't worry Con, that's not my genre. But you better behave, or I might give Vicky Vale a tip for a story. That's the kind of thing that'd be right up her alley." Suddenly she snaps, "Oh! If Vale only knew that Bruce was Batman! And that I know. Oh! She'd turn green with envy."
Conner puts everything where it was, then he finishes giving Lois the tour. Finally, they zeta-beam back to Gotham.
"Do you want to talk to Batman?" Conner asks Lois once they get out of the phone booth. "I'm pretty sure I can get you in."
Lois things about it, then nods. So he takes her back to the hospital. The fat cop is gone, replaced by a Hispanic woman. She won't let them in at first, but then the door opens behind her—it's Superman.
His eyes widen when he sees Lois, and then he turns to Conner—there's a hint of anger in those blue eyes, and Conner can't help the almost imperceptible tremor of his hand. Maybe Superman notices, because the look in his eyes softens from one of anger to one that's merely stern.
"Superboy," he says slowly, "What's Lois doing here?"
"Lois?" Batman's voice calls out. "Let them in, Superman," Bruce orders.
So Superman opens the door wider, and stands aside.
"I see you figured it out," Batman says neutrally.
"I did," Conner nods.
"And, I take it, not the worst case scenario?"
"Not the worst case scenario," Conner confirms.
"What the hell Bruce?" Superman asks.
"Lois was nosing around. Superboy—
"I told her my name first… she wasn't going to publish it, so I told her the rest."
"Good boy," Batman smiles.
"God, you're really Batman?"
"I was until recently, at any rate," Batman answers darkly.
Lois steps forward and grabs Batman's hand. "Oh jeeze Bruce." Then she lets it go, suddenly angry. "I cannot believe you! We dated for six months! When the hell were you going to tell me you were Batman? On the honey-moon?"
"Lois, there was never going to be a honey-moon. I'm not exactly marriageable material."
"You must think it's really funny, dating women and lying to them."
"I assure you Lois, I'm not the kind of person who really cares for jokes."
Lois bites her lips, looking remorseful. "No. I guess not. Though, it's actually pretty funny… everyone thinks you're this flighty irresponsible playboy who can't ski for crap, and really, you're the goddam Batman."
"Well, he is a playboy," Superman says.
"Thank you for that wonderfully helpful observation, Superman," Batman rolls his eyes. "And now, I guess, I can't ski for crap, so…" Batman's words fade into an awkward silence. Conner's never seen Batman like this, and he doesn't quite know what to say. But he notices that M'gann, who's napping in the corner on a couch Superman or someone must have brought in, looks exhausted again.
Lois breaks the tension by pulling Conner into her. "Well Bruce, I've got to say, you've done a fantastic job with Conner."
And that's enough to get Batman to smile again. "Frankly, that was mostly him. He's a pretty fantastic individual. Look," and Batman is even able to shake his head a little to the left. "He brought me the most thoughtful gift."
Lois laughs and picks up the Bat-Hound. "Aw… that's adorable. What's his name?"
"Ace," Conner tells her.
Lois looks at Bruce with a soft smile. "Like your dog?"
"Exactly like my dog."
She puts Ace down and then smiles at Bruce. "You're going to be fine, you know that?"
"Really?" Batman asks skeptically. "And you know this because?"
"Because you're a survivor. And a stubborn ass. And, because you have great friends around you. You're going to be fine, one way or another." And then she leans in and kisses him squarely on the mouth. He kisses her back. The kiss lasts awkwardly long, and with an air of satisfaction, Conner notes how uncomfortable it makes Superman. But, the thing is, Superman has no claim to Lois, just like he has no claim to him.
When Lois finally pulls away, she has a big smile on her face. "See, a man who can kiss like that is going to be fine. Three days ago you were brain dead. Today you can kiss like there's no tomorrow. Three days from now, you'll be able to move your hands, and in a month, you'll be hobbling around Wayne Enterprises on crutches. And this handsome young man," Lois winks at Conner, "can put on the cape and cowl to put the fear of God into the criminals of Gotham to keep people from getting too antsy.
"Though, don't think just because you're a good kisser you're going to get off scot-free. This little minion of yours had to destroy my voice recorder, so you owe me a new one. And now that I know you can afford it, I want a really nice one. With really amazing dictation software, not that commercial crap." She turns to Conner, "What else did I want?"
"A bottle of Scotch."
"Oh, yes. I want a really good bottle of Scotch."
"I'll have Alfred send you one post haste. And something pretty too," he says with a roguish smile.
"And there's the Bruce I know and love," Lois says. She plants another kiss on Batman, this one short and light, and then gets up. "Alright Conner, we've got to go find Clark and get back to Metropolis—Perry will have my head if he has to put us up in a hotel another night and I have no story for him."
She drags him out of the hospital room, and the last thing Conner hears as he leaves, is Batman telling Superman, "See, I told you, that kid's got good instincts."
To be continued...