A couple of hours later a nurse came in to tell me I could head home and that I had the next couple days off courtesy of Cuddy. I was both happy and disappointed that I could leave the hospital. I was happy that I could be left alone in my own space for a while, but I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to see Allison anytime soon. But on the plus side I also wouldn't have to deal with any potential drama or heartbreak for a while. My head was throbbing already without any outside influence. As soon as I got home I stripped my clothes off and got in the shower careful of the stitches holding my head together. Once I stepped under the water I realized how tense I was. I leant against the wall under the shower head to allow the stream of water to run down my back and relax the sore muscles beneath my skin. As the steam began to fog up my small hideaway I pulled my lips into my mouth searching for any trace of Allison, but when I found none I began to think about the fundraiser and how Chase had easily slid into the place with Allison that I felt belonged to me. I could still feel myself smile however when I thought of the things Allison had said earlier. Even without the wonderful insults thrown at Chase it was still I decent conversation. Maybe I could have something with Allison after all.
I didn't know how long I stayed in the shower but the cold water now stinging my flesh told me that it was much too long. After shutting off the water I reached for my favorite fluffy towel and wiped my face with it. I held it there for a minute longer breathing in the fresh scent of my detergent and letting the material warm my chilled skin. I wiped the fog from my mirror although it had already begun to disappear considering my lengthy shower had gone cold long before. I wrapped my towel around my torso and looked at my reflection. I was definitely a sight. The left side of my face was bruised around my stitches from a fall I had no memory of. My eyes were red and slightly swollen perhaps from the tears released in Allison's company. I realized that Allison was the first person to see me cry in years. My tears were saved for the shower where no one could see. My red eyes the only evidence of my sadness but even the obvious sign of distress was disregarded as a night of too much alcohol and too little sleep. Sometimes I find it even more saddening that no one seemed to care but after years of closing myself off it's probably best if no one knows what goes on in my head, if they don't know they can't use it against me; they can't hurt me. But what about Allison? If she knew the real me what would she do? Would she rip open the wounds from the past or would she stitch them up with care and place a sweet healing kiss upon them? I was both scared and anxious to find out.