Katniss seems surprised that I don't make a move on her the following night, or the night after that, but doesn't talk about it. She goes hunting, which I guess means that she must be more or less pain free, and comes back with a nice selection of squirrels.

I still cannot believe that I have had sex with Katniss Everdeen. It's scary to even think it, I have to stop myself from looking nervously around when I do, which is pretty frequently, checking to see if my mother is here to scold me.

Of course she isn't.

I can't think of the people who are gone.

I can't think of the nightmares.

I have to focus on what's real, what's here and now.

And when I manage to do just that, I don't think I've ever been happier. When Haymitch sees us, he just mutters something about teenagers in love, shaking his head, but I can see that he's smiling when he thinks we don't see him.

Katniss does seem to be getting restless. As if she doesn't understand why I don't make a move on her. But she doesn't know what I promised myself, and I don't tell her. I just want her to come to me, to make the first move, to claim me as hers.

And then, one night, she does.

I'm in bed, reading a book. I went to bed first, and when she joined me ten minutes later, she seemed frustrated to find that I was reading when she came into the bedroom. I don't know if she was expecting me to sit naked on our bed, waiting to ravish her, but I don't. She goes to the bathroom, brushes her teeth – and when she comes back, she's stark naked.

It's impossible not to stare at her. The book falls from my hands.

She looks nervous, but determined. "Looks like I managed to make you forget about the book," she says with a satisfied smile.

She's nearly made me forget my own name.

She sits down in front of me on the bed, crossing her legs, her elbows resting on her knees. My eyes just can't keep from looking down between her legs, her pink sex partly visible as her folds open up. I'm sure she's doing it on purpose. I can barely breathe, and all the blood in my body seems to have gone south.

But still, I don't reach out for her. I leave the initiative to her. She moves towards me, pushing me down on the bed. And soon, one of my favorite sexual fantasies from my early teenage years comes true, and they definitely belong in the real box, both the fantasy and reality, here, now: Katniss, naked, straddling me.

Her pupils are enormous. She licks her lips, as if preparing, then kisses me. There is nothing hesitant about the kiss – it's deep, passionate, mind-blowing, leaving my entire body save my throbbing cock numb. When she breaks it, she looks at me. She's looking pretty pleased with herself, and what I see in her eyes is just pure passion. I'm wondering if Katniss is starting to find that she likes to be in charge in bed, and frankly, I wouldn't mind if that turns out to be the case.

"Do I have to spell it out to you?" she says, and her voice is husky.

"Yes."

It wasn't the answer she had expected, clearly, her eyes narrow, and she looks like she's getting annoyed.

"I want you."

"You want me to…"

"I want you to…" She's blushing now. She's searching for the right word. "… fuck me."

To hear Katniss use a word like that is, well, another sexual fantasy come true, this one being more recent. I force myself to stay calm. I just lift an eyebrow, saying casually: "You do?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

She smiles a devilish smile, and kisses me again, just as passionately, then removes my boxer shorts. She straddles me again, her hips are rotating above mine, my cock is nestled between her thighs. She's wet already, and the obvious invitation is hard to resist, but I force myself to hold back. I want leave it all up to her this time.

My hand travels down her body, stopping by a breast for a while, I bend up to suck on the other nipple simultaneously, while my hand ventures further, between her legs. I almost forget all my good intentions when I find out just how wet she is, I have to pinch the skin of my thigh with my other hand, hard, the pain just barely making me able to keep focus. My fingers travel in circles, dipping carefully into her, then spreading the moisture over her folds, searching and finding her clit. Her body jerks and she shouts out when I do, she throws her head back and closes her eyes as she moans loudly when I find just the right frequency.

Katniss, wild and passionate and mine.

I have to blink away the tears in my eyes, the beauty of the moment is so overwhelming.

I can tell it won't take long for her to come. She's already writhing, squirming, panting. When I groan "Come for me, Katniss," she does, making the most delightfully arousing sounds I've never heard, and it's all I can do to keep myself from coming with her.

But I hold back. This is about her.

She slumps down on my chest, a mess of dark, curly hair, panting, her body spent. For a long time she just lies there, her breathing gradually getting slower and less erratic. Finally, she lifts her head, looking at me. Her eyes are cloudy, eyelids heavy, skin flushed, her lips swollen and red.

She has never looked sexier or more beautiful than in this very moment.

She parts her lips, as if to speak, but doesn't. I smile at her. "Ready for more?" I whisper, moving my hips ever so slightly, reminding her just where my cock is still situated, and just how rock hard I still am.

She nods breathlessly.

When I don't move any further, she gets confused. She seems to finally find her voice. "What are you waiting for?" she asks.

"You."

"What do you mean?"

"Why don't you… control it this time."

"Control?"

I wonder if her release clouded her brain so much she's still barely being able to understand what I'm saying, or if she truly doesn't know what to do. What I mean.

"I hurt you last time," I explain. "I came… in too fast. Why don't you control how deep and how fast I go this time?"

"How?"

It's starting to dawn on me that she really doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"How about if you… go on top?"

She looks confused. "You mean… Like I'm sitting on you?" She looks questioningly at me.

I'm starting to realize that she's never really talked to anyone about sex. She was barely speaking to her mother, her sister was so young, and she didn't have any friends. I, on the other hand, had a lot of friends, not to mention two older brothers. And even though my brothers wouldn't tell me everything, I overheard quite a lot at night, when they thought I was sleeping. It's certainly coming in helpful now.

"Yes," I breathe, and she looks skeptical, but moves her body hesitantly against mine. Even though she's soaking wet by now, my cock doesn't find its way into her entrance on its own. She keeps missing, my cock just gliding to the side instead of where we both want it to go. She looks at me, frustrated, and I reach down between us, guiding the head of my penis towards her entrance, holding it steady. She's lifted her body up, and as soon as my head glides into her, I remove my hand, lie back. She moans as my head enters her, and her body stiffens.

"Slowly, baby," I groan, and she nods. Her face contorts, I don't know if it's pain, concentration or desire, perhaps all three. She steadies herself with her hands, and as if testing, lowers herself a few centimeters.

I gasp at the feeling, she's so tight and hot, and watching my cock glide into her, watching her do it, is without doubt the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm so close to coming, I have to think about Haymitch's geese to distract myself for a little while until I've regained control. I don't know what she sees on my face, but it must be something, because she stops and asks: "What is it?"

"Geese," I pant, and I don't know how, but I think she understands what I mean. She grins widely, and lowers herself further.

Okay, so geese don't work, the only thing I can do, is look at her and remember that it's too soon, it's about her, it's Katniss here in this bed with me, and we're nowhere near being ready yet.

I'm at about the point where I really hurt her last time, and her body tenses. Once again, her walls clench around me, but this time I'm prepared for it. I keep my body absolutely still, just watching her as she pants, breathing her way through it. Her eyes are tightly shut. I keep her hips steady with my hands, making sure she doesn't move further down until she's ready. Finally, she opens her eyes, as her features relax.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she answers, and her voice is low and husky. She starts lowering herself further, taking me in, slow and steady. She holds my gaze, doesn't break eye contact for even one single second. Finally, I'm all the way inside, deep inside her core. I look up at her, I'm in awe at her beauty as she stares down at me, her dark hair loose around her shoulders. I reach out and touch her breasts, and she moans. "Now what?" she asks me, shyly.

"What do you want to do?"

Her breath catches, and I nod. She smiles, then starts moving, hesitantly at first, clumsy, unsure of the rhythm. Then she picks up the pace, discovering how to move efficiently. Every time she moves up, when I'm slipping out of her, she's tightening around me, squeezing, and the sensation is so intense it's all I can do to keep myself from coming. Only pure stubbornness is keeping me from emptying myself deep inside her at this very moment. Not yet, not yet, not yet, races through my mind. When she comes back down, I lift my hips to meet her, it's like dancing, I am so deep inside her. She has lost all her reserve now, she's laughing down at me, vocalizing just how much she loves this, loves me, and I love her for it. If there was some initial discomfort, it must be gone now, because she doesn't hesitate. I can feel my release getting closer and closer, I know I can't hold it back much more. I move a hand from her breast down to her clit, touching her, and almost as soon as I do, she comes again, there is no doubt, she screams, her head thrown back, and her body shudders violently. As it does, I follow her over the edge, emptying my seed deep inside her.

We hold each other, panting, breathless, sweaty. Together.

No words are necessary. Our hands convey our love, gently stroking now that our need has been replaced by content, my kiss on her forehead conveys my thanks.

Thank you for showing me your passion. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being here. Thank you for loving me.