Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all characters. I'm going to humiliate one of them right now :)
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Chapter 11 – Serious As A Heart Attack
I won't even let Cullen the Cunt- Fucker kiss me, not yet anyway. I know I'm harsh, but if you could see all his contacts- and most of them are all female - you would sympathize with me. Like ninety five percent of them!
I thought he had more buddies than this. Shrug
This is going to take for-damn-ever so I plop his phone in my back pocket and start walking to my Beemer.
"Where are you going Bella?" Edward is jogging towards me.
"I'm going to have to go home, pour a stiff drink, put my reading glasses on and one by one delete these whores."
His brows are crinkled together and horror takes over his beautiful face.
"I can't be without my phone, are you crazy?" He's trying to step in front of me but I keep side stepping him, still walking to the Beemer.
"Nope, not at all. I'm not crazy, I'm not a whore and I'm certainly not going to take you seriously until this is taken care of." I hold his phone up, just out of his reach, and then plop it back into my pocket.
"Damn baby…you weren't joking were you?"
"Not in the slightest." I get to my car and push the remote unlock. I slide into the seat, and then shut the door, leaving Edward in a state of disbelief. I roll down the window so that I can say a few more things to him.
"Don't worry your pretty little head about your phone sugar; I assure you that you will get it back. In fact, you will get it back tomorrow morning at eight a.m., when you bring me a Western Omelet from IHOP." I put the car in reverse and start backing out. "Oh and Edward, don't be late. I have to be at work at ten."
I turn my stereo up, put the car in reverse and blow him a kiss as I drive off.
Welcome to Man-Whore Rehab baby! I laugh to myself as I pull out of Shooters parking lot.
I make a mental list of all the emasculating things that I can ask him to do for me.
I'm such a bitch!
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Thanks Kgunter34 for the "Man-whore rehab" line. I love it!
Well, Bella doesn't play and Eddie is gonna pay!
Will he pull through and deliver breakfast? I hope he doesn't have a hangover…