Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all characters. I just get to write stupid shit about them, in hopes that some of you will laugh.

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Chapter 17 – Eyes Wide Open

I giggled when Edward blurted out, "what the fuck is that?" I couldn't help myself.

"What do you mean lovebug?" I rolled over onto my back so that I could see his face.

"Th..that!" He pointed to my panties, his eye wider than I'd ever seen them before.

"Oh this? I didn't want your money to go to waste so I'm using the foot-long pads you bought me."

It was so huge that it was hanging out of the front and back of my panties. It looked so awful!

His eyes were huge.

"That is the most …" he was shaking his head back and forth. "I have no words for that." He kept staring at the pad that almost touched my belly button ring.

He stood up from the bed and backed a few steps away. I really thought he was going to bolt from the room and out the front door.

I grabbed a hold of the pad and ripped it out of my panties; I had a tampon in and really didn't need the pad. It was for shock value only.

I sat up on the edge of the bed and asked him to come back to me.

He acquiesced.

"This is the deal Edward. I think we both know that we can pull stupid stunts on one another, but it's getting us nowhere." He nodded his head. "So… what do you say we start fresh and see where this is going to take us?" I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'd love that." He leaned down and gave me a peck on the lips, and then turned me around facing the bed, swatting my ass hard.

"Now get on the bed woman! I've got an ass to massage."

I dove onto the bed bouncing when I hit the mattress. His chuckle was music to my ears.

"Oh and babe…take those fucking granny panties off. You've proved your point already."

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Bella's got to get her sexy back since she was sporting her foot long pad and granny panties.

I'm sure they will knock it outta the park in the next chapter.

One more chapter and then it's finished.

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