Alright these are the last two! I shall say my thank you's now so you can read the rest in peace :)

THANK YOU! A huge thank you to everyone who has read this story, left a review, and followed or favorited! This has been so fun to write and it has been a wonderful first experience as a writer for me! When I started this I thought it was only going to be a short 2 or 3 chapter fanfic but thanks to all of your positive encouragement I wrote more and it turned into this beautiful thing! I couldn't have done it without you :) This my have been my first fanfic, but it most certainly wont be my last. So thank you all so so so much and enjoy! :D (please don't hate me for this...)

Beep beep beep beep

"We've got it! We've got a pulse! He's come back!"

John opened his eyes and was momentarily blinded by a bright white light. He blinked and was shocked to observe many different people standing around him, watching him. For an instant he was too shocked to speak, the room he was in looked exactly like the cell he was in held captive in, from the bare walls to the counter and the sink; he was even currently lying on a flat slab of some kind. He tried to move and found that he was strapped to the table. No no no no no, he thought desperately, this cannot be happening again.

Understandably he began to panic. "Who are you?!" He screamed at the mysterious people surrounding him as he thrashed against the straps holding him down. "Where am I?! Let me go!"

"Calm down Mr. Watson, you are quite safe," said a soothing voice next to his ear.

"Safe? I don't think so!" He screamed back, now thrashing so hard the whole table was rocking. "Who are you and what have you done to Sherlock?!"

"I think you should bring her in, maybe she can calm him down." Said another soft voice coming from one of the other mysterious people clustered around him. He wasn't really paying attention anymore; he was just focused on escaping as fast as he could and finding Sherlock. He was so focused on thrashing around that he didn't even notice the mob of people leave and one small, frail person enter until she put her hand on his arm.

John stopped moving and angrily turned to face the new intruder. "Don't you touch me-"

"You're fine, dreary." Mrs. Hudson said in a soft soothing voice. "Don't you worry; those wonderful doctors brought you back. You're safe."

John had gone stock still. How the hell was Mrs. Hudson, of all people, here?

"Mrs. Hudson, you need to get out of here right now before they see you, or you'll end up like me! You need to get out!" He pressured her worryingly. She needed to get out; Mrs. Hudson is the last person he wanted to see hurt and tortured.

"John whatever are you talking about? Why do I need to leave?" She asked him in confusion. What was going on? How did she not know the danger she was in?

"I don't want them to hurt you, please, you need to leave!" John begged her in a panic; he started to pull against his restraints again.

"Oh no sweetie, they won't hurt me." Mrs. Hudson laughed, "Hospitals are places of healing not harming."

John stopped moving. A hospital? He was in a hospital? But now that Mrs. Hudson had said that he could see some distinct differences between this room and his old cell. The walls were much cleaner and were made of an off white plaster instead of concrete and the entire place was much nicer, and the "slab" he thought he was strapped to was actually a bed, the restraints had been his sheets and a single strap across his chest to prevent him from sitting up. He had an IV in his arm and there was a heart monitor beeping happily away to his right.

"What- what happened?" He asked calmly after he had realized that he was not in any immediate danger.

Mrs. Hudson's eyes filled with tears, "We almost lost you. The doctors said that you took some kind of medication, a pill I think they said, and it almost killed you. If we hadn't gotten you here as fast as we did then you'd most certainly be dead."

"How long ago was that?" He asked nervously. How was this possible? After he took the pill Sherlock came back and he was fine...

"About a week dear," she said with a sniffle.

He sat in stunned silence. Was he really unconscious for a week? "Is Sylvia here? Is she ok?" He asked with concern.

Mrs. Hudson looked confused, "Sylvia? Oh you mean Dr. Amanda Sylvia. Yes she is perfectly all right; she was the one taking care of you for the most part. Lovely woman."

More silence followed this explanation. "Where's Sherlock then? I need to talk to him." He finally said.

"Oh no, John, I'm so sorry, they said this might happen. When you took that pill they put you right on medication that was keeping you alive," she gestured at his IV, "it put you into a kind-of comma state until they could fix you up completely. One if the side effects of the medicine is vivid dreams that are influenced by your environment... Sherlock is dead honey. He has been for months."

Now she did start crying. Tears spilled down her face and she looked at him with sympathy.

"No, but, that's not possible." John started, not believing that all the events of the past four days had been a dream. "Sherlock's fine he's alive. I met him, he saved me. We-" kissed he finished in his head. Certainly that couldn't have been a dream.

"I'm so sorry John, but none of that happened. I've been with you this whole time."

"But that was the whole reason I took it, the pill. To get away, I wasn't needed, I wasn't wanted. Without him I am nothing." John said in despair, tears slipping down his face.

"No don't say that dear! Of course you're wanted!" She said comfortingly as she grabbed his hand and held it tight.

"But I'm not though, am I?" He said sluggishly. It was all making sense now. He knew that Sherlock loving him was too good to be true. He felt his heart start to slow and his breathing grow irregular and choppy.

"Oh Mrs. Hudson, there were so many things I wanted to say, so many things I still want to say, but I never said them. I regret it so much." Tears were flowing down his face and the heart monitor started beeping slower and slower.

Beep, beep, beep, beep

"I loved him Mrs. Hudson. I loved him and I never told him. He died without ever knowing the truth. He will never know why I was always willing to put my life on the line for him or why I was always so jealous when he was around that Adler woman. He will never know why I put up with all his ridiculous experiments or why I would always try to be right by his side, ready for him to lean on whenever he needed extra strength. Because even though he thought he was invincible I knew he had limits. I would try and make him eat, I would try to show him how amazing he really was, but it wasn't enough in the end was it? He felt alone and wrong when he climbed up onto that rooftop and he killed himself for it. Just maybe if I had told him how much he meant to me then maybe he wouldn't have gone to such drastic measures. I could have prevented this; I could have saved him like he saved me. That's why I took the pill Mrs. Hudson, I failed him. I failed him and without him I am nothing. My other half is missing and I can't live like this any longer. I thought that if he wasn't going to come back to me, then I was going to him."

"Oh John..." She whimpered as she squeezed his hand tighter still. "It wasn't you fault, it wasn't anyone's. Don't give up John, there's always hope."

He shook his head; the heart monitor was beeping slower and slower.

Beep.. Beep.. Beep.. Beep..

Blackness was starting to creep into the edge of his vision and he felt light-headed. He knew the signs, he knew the symptoms, he was a doctor after all. He was dying, his body was shutting down, and he couldn't be happier about it.

He squeezed Mrs. Hudson's hand back and whispered to her, "I already have... Thank you for everything Mrs. Hudson, you were always like a second mother to me."

"No John don't give up!" She yelled as she finally seemed to notice the slow heart monitor. "Doctor hurry! He's dying again!"

John heard hurried footsteps approach him and felt someone shake his shoulder. He didn't care anymore, the only thing he was aware of was the slow beeping of the monitor and how he was about to see Sherlock again for the first time in 7 months. The thought brought him such joy that he smiled through his tears.

Beep... Beep... Beep...

John's body jerked and spasmed as the defibrillators were placed on his chest again as they attempted to shock his heart back into beating. He didn't feel a thing. It was like he was floating outside his body and the things happening to him he was just watching happen to someone else.

Beep... Beep...

He heard Mrs. Hudson sobbing and calling his name. He saw the doctors stop and go to comfort her as they realized there was no saving him, he was too determined to die.

Sherlock, I'm coming back to you. He thought happily as he remembered the last thing he saw in his dream, Sherlock's face. He smiled and closed his eyes, letting the darkness consume him.

Beep... Beep... Beeeeeeeppp...