New chapter! Still not sure how soon updates will come, but THEY WILL COME. Thanks for reading my stories guys :3
A fair amount of time had passed since Tony's first therapy session, and soon enough, it was time for him to return. Steve had set his clothes out and made coffee and a quick breakfast before returning to wake Tony. He sat on the edge of the bed and grazed Tony's cheek with his thumb, calling his name softly. "Come on, Tony. Big things to do, today. You've gotta get up. Flipping over won't make me go away, so don't try it." he warned, smile evident in his voice. Waking Tony had become one of his favorite things, partially because he looked admittedly cute ruffled by sleep, but mostly because he was hilarious when it came to finding ways out of getting up when he was supposed to.
Tony groaned, hating and loving the way Steve knew him so well simultaneously. "Jus'a few minu's" Tony slurred, rolling away from Steve's waking touch. "Nottime yet". Steve was a persistent little bastard though, finally succeeding in dragging Tony from the confines of the bed and into the bathroom. Tony got himself ready in a daze, stumbling down the stairs to greet Steve's steaming cup of coffee waiting for him on the table. That man...they don't make them like Steve Rogers anymore. Tony smiled into the caffeine, gulping it down. Once he was sufficiently alert, he looked to Steve waiting patiently by the door, keys in hand. "Shit" Tony swore-he'd forgotten he had therapy today. Steve eyed him, but said nothing as they walked together to the car and headed to his appointment, Pepper opting to sit out this one in exchange for attempting to make a dent in the ever growing pile of paperwork on her desk.
"It's only an hour," Steve bargained, starting the car. "And besides, you said you liked him, right? It won't be so bad." He took Tony's silence as an agreement and got them to the appointment with more than enough time to check in - overly prompt, as usual. He entwined his fingers with Tony's, leading him to the building, and had him signed in and sitting less than a minute after.
Tony yawned and laid his head on Steve's shoulder, closing his eyes and just breathing. He knew that Nathan would be asking about his parents' deaths today, since Pepper had called detailing the way Tony would sulk, and that she was concerned about Tony's drinking. Tony wasn't supposed to know this, but Steve had looked so guilty when Tony asked what Pepper was on the phone about that was SO IMPORTANT that Tony couldn't listen in, that Tony had forced it out of him. It was too soon when the door swung open and Tony was ushered inside, left with a small wave and a smile from his friend/boyfriend/whatever thing sitting on the couch in the hall.
Tony perched himself on the edge of the loveseat, immediately on high alert. Nathan looked at him expectantly and Tony realized the man was waiting for him to speak. "Hi." Tony said, a bit too loudly for the atmosphere, trying to seem cheery. "What's up?"
Nathan smiled warmly and clasped his hands, looking at Tony even though the other man wouldn't meet his eyes. "Well, the real question is, what's up with you, Tony? How has your week been?"
Tony shrugged, not wanting to say anything that would make him seem too eager, and wanting to avoid the topic of his parents. "The same old, I guess".
"No cutting?" Nathan asked, as if it were something brought up in normal conversation. Tony nodded, and Nathan smiled. "Well, that's great! You know, it's a hard habit to kick, and it's not uncommon to relapse. Going a week without it is a big deal. Congratulations, Tony."
Tony smiled in spite of himself, feeling warmth welling in his stomach. "I didn't want to hurt my friends," he admitted, thinking of Steve's face then he'd found him covered in blood.
Nathan nodded, "That's a good incentive". Nathan looked down to his notes, then back up. "I heard from Pepper the other day". Tony froze. He didn't want to talk about this, he couldn't talk about this. Seeing Tony's reaction, Nathan stopped for a moment. "I take it you knew about this conversation?" Tony nodded. "I want you to know that you are safe here, Tony. I'm not going to make you talk about anything you don't want to. But if you let me, I can help you. I hear you have some alcohol issues, and with my help, I think I can help you get control of that."
Tony growled outright. Hating the way this big nosed doctor acted like he knew about Tony's life. HE DIDN'T KNOW SHIT. He didn't know what Tony went through every goddamn day.
Nathan looked surprised, but continued. "I also heard about your parents. I'm very sorry, Tony. If you feel comfortable enough to talk about them or their death, I think it might help you." Tony was seething now. Nathan looked to the clock, realizing they only had a few minutes left. "Before you go, Tony-know that I am only here to help you. Next time, come in with some goals you want me to help you accomplish, okay? We can do this together, Tony. You don't have to do this alone."
Tony smiled against his will. "Thank you," he whispered, embarrassed about his earlier outburst.
"You're very welcome. If you need anything, you call me, okay?" Tony nodded. They set up an appointment for the next week, and Tony left to greet Steve, ready to go on the couch. Tony held out his hand, pulling Steve up and together, they headed back home
Tony yanked open the door, laughing at Steve's awful sense of humor. "You know, I should..." Tony's voice drifted away, meeting Rhodey's anger filled eyes. "Uhhhhh..." Tony scrambled for something to say, but not fast enough. Steve gave Tony a look and excused himself, not wanting to intrude.
"WHAT THE FUCK, MAN. I've called you 27 times. 27 FUCKING PHONE CALLS. And that's just to your cell phone. What the hell is going on? I needed to talk to you. Did you even hear that Rachel and I broke up?" Tony shook his head slowly. "YEAH, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE, BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TALKING TO ME. Seriously. You are a shit friend. I'm always there for you, and now I need you, and you FUCKING DISAPPEAR. I don't even know why I'm here. You go ahead and hang out with STEVE ROGERS and can't even call me back? YOU SON OF A BITCH."
Tony took in a shaky breath. He'd known Rhodey had called, but he just couldn't deal with his friend. He didn't want Rhodey to find out about him. "Rhodey, I'm..."
"NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU, TONY STARK. Fuck you and your money and your friends that clearly matter more than I do. Fuck you and your selfishness. I don't even know why I came. Don't call me. I don't have time for motherfuckers like you. I try to understand, but you always let me down. So I'm done." Rhodey turns, ready to leave.
"No-Rhodey, please. D-don't go. I'm s-sorry, just don't..." Tony was crying now, grabbing Rhodey's wrist. Rhodey jumps, ripping his hand away, which sent Tony reeling back to hit the wall, hard.
"Don't you touch me. Don't. Do. It." Tony cowers against the wall, breathing too fast as tears fall. Tony grasps at Rhodey's shoulder as he turns though, not letting it go. Rhodey then whacks him, hard. He turns and punches Tony straight in the face. Tony howls. He hadn't expected things to escalate this quickly. When Rhodey turns to leave, Steve walks in, taking in the view. Tony glowering, Rhodey seething. Tony slips down the stairs when he sees the way Steve is looking at Rhodey, knowing that Steve will be busy for a bit. He stumbles into the lab, eyes catching the steak knife left on the counter after Bruce had brought over some grilled pork last night. He gripped the knife, heading to his usual place behind the desk, reveling in the sting of knife on flesh.
Initially, Steve had decided to step in due to the yelling he heard. When he saw the looks shooting between the two, and the bruise that was just beginning to form on Tony's face, Steve instantly slipped into Captain-Mode. He acknowledged Tony slinking out of the room, and he fully intended to follow up on that when he had the chance, but his main priority was sorting out the mess that stood before him. "What the hell is going on?" he asked firmly, eyes piercing into Rhodey's. It took quite a bit to get Steve this riled up. He stepped forward calmly enough, but his shoulders were locked into place as he evaluated Rhodey's response.
"What're you yelling at me for? Tony's the one being an asshole. I'm outta here." Rhodey turned, ready to leave, but was pulled back by the captain's strong grip.
"That explains why all the screaming was coming from your end, doesn't it? Now, how about you take a second to tone down and have a sit, son? There's no reason to go picking a fight with someone who's not going to swing back. That's a weak man's creed. You ought to know that's the last thing he needs right now." Steve's brow was furrowed, but he wasn't above listening to what Rhodey had to say.
Rhodey sputtered at being called 'son' but did as Steve asked, fearing what would happen if he didn't. "What in the hell are you talking about Rogers?" Rhodey ground out, barely containing his anger. "HE didn't call me back. HE'S been ignoring me. And he's perfectly capable of fighting back, he's an adult, not a fucking two year old! Stop speaking for him, and don't you dare make excuses. I've known Tony much longer than you have, so just shut the fuck up, and stay out of it". Rhodey huffed at the end and crossed his arms in front of his chest, not expecting Steve to have anything to come back with. Boy, was he in for a surprise.
"Well you sure are proving your dedication to that long-standing friendship, aren't you? A smack in the eye really pushes that message across very well, allow me to commend you on that one." Steve took a step closer, eyeing him angrily. "And for knowing him for so long, you'd think you'd be a little more understanding, given the position he's in. You should know he doesn't have control over things right now. Frankly, it's childish of you to assume that he doesn't care about you, simply because he hasn't returned your calls. You-" Steve cut himself short, his eyes instantly going soft. He calmed his tone, lowering his guard. "He hasn't told you, has he?" he asked softly.
Rhodey looked up wearily. This did not sound good. "Told me...what, exactly?"
Steve sighed softly, waving Rhodey over to the couch and taking a seat across from him. He didn't feel guilty about spilling information this time. Tony's state was on a need-to-know basis, and Steve highly regarded this as such, to avoid further conflict. He ran a hand through his hair, debating on how much information to offer. After five minutes of only Steve talking, he silenced, folding his hands into his lap, finishing, "You know he would have been paying attention if he wasn't distracted. Tony's better than you made him out to be, and I know very well that you're aware of that. At this point, I'm not defending him. I'm only passing information."
Rhodey was stunned into silence. "I-shit. Tony." Rhodey looked utterly broken by the information. "I should've known. I-I'm a crappy friend. Dammit. I should-I need to apologize" Rhodey got up to head downstairs when Steve stopped him.
"Wait," Steve started, rising from his seat. He gave Rhodey an understanding look but shook his head. "I'm really glad that you want to talk things out with him, and I know that he will be, too. You mean a lot to him. But Tony isn't the easiest to get through to, when he's in a state. You'll be talking, but he won't be listening, and if he is, it won't end well. I can tell you're sincere about it, but it won't make much of a difference right now. Give it a few days. I promise you, I will keep you posted." he added, giving Rhodey his most sincere look.
Rhodey nodded, knowing that Steve probably knew best right now. "Alright um. Call me and let me know how he is, okay?" Rhodey left after Steve's curt nod, shutting the door quietly.
In the workshop, Tony sat in his corner, watching the blood drip. Seven new scars now adorned his left wrist, the knife abandoned at his hip. He was so lost in his daze of endorphins, he didn't hear Steve let himself in quietly.
After allowing himself in, Steve called out for Tony. He didn't know why he bothered. He knew where he would find him, at this point. When he reached Tony, however, he was not expecting what he saw. It was like that first night all over again-but this time, it was significantly worse. Steve's eyes quickly flicked to Tony's face, and then he was next to him in seconds flat, carefully clearing Tony's arm of the blood with some paper towels from the counter. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, yet. His main concern was making sure Tony was physically stable. The emotional stability check would follow.
Tony was stunned at Steve's presence and too far gone to fight him off. The smell of blood was dizzying, as he watched Steve wrap his wrist in quickly reddening wads paper towel. He felt dizzy and nauseated, and he realized he was going to faint. With no advanced warning to Steve, Tony's eyes rolled back in his head, and he went limp, slumping against his desk.
"N'ah, jeeze, Tony," Steve breathed out quickly. He tapped gently at Tony's cheek, trying to get him to come around, but after a few seconds, he gave up. Rising, he scooped Tony up into his arms, unable to prevent the blood from staining into his own shirt as he cradled the other. Steve swiftly transported Tony to the back seat of the car and took off for the hospital, only realizing afterwards that calling an ambulance would have been a more practical idea. He happily ignored his blatant disregard for common speed laws on the way there, and upon stepping through the doors with Tony in-hand, he was quickly tended to.
Tony woke up to the sounds of beeping and hushed chatter, feeling like he'd been run over by an 18 wheeler. "Ughhh," he groaned, moving his hand a bit and wincing at the sharp pain there. Everything came rushing back, and he sucked in a breath, his heart rate jumping, which the monitor oh so helpfully informed him. He went to sit up, but his wrists were softly restrained-and he started panicking. He thrashed his wrists, sending shooting pain up his arm, before feeling soft, reassuring hands on his shoulders-shushing him.
"Tony," Steve said quickly. He looked down at him, eyes soft. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay." His face was laced with concern, partially due to the darkening bruise that looked as though it would continue to get worse. His hands left Tony's shoulders, and he slid his chair closer, resting his hand lightly on Tony's arm. "How are you feeling? Are you alright? Do you need anything?"
Tony sighed and sagged into Steve's touch. He shook his head, too ashamed to even meet Steve's eyes. "I'm s-so sorry," Tony whispered, his eyes wet. "I didn't-I couldn't-" Tony cut off, sobs wracking his body. He couldn't put his arms around Steve so he just laid there, crying and crying. When he was somewhat coherent again, he whispered, "C-can you take these off please?" looking to the restraints. He tried to calm himself while Steve did his handiwork. Once his arms were free, he pulled them around Steve, ignoring all the tubes and clips attached to him. Steve made him lay back carefully, rearranging all the odds and ends that were attaching Tony to machines. Tony sighed, taking Steve's hand when the man opted to pull up a chair beside him. Tony looked at him expectantly, not sure what to say.
Steve held Tony's hand to his lips, letting his eyes fall shut. He opened his eyes slowly, after a moment, turning his gaze to Tony. "It's okay," he repeated quietly, though he wasn't sure who he was really saying it for this time. Sighing softly, he took his free hand and grabbed a tissue from the small table beside him and cleared Tony's eyes of the remaining tears. "We talked. Rhodey and me. He wants to talk to you, when you're up for it."
Tony visibly paled. "He's uh-not so happy with me right now.." Tony mumbled, squeezing Steve's hand a bit. The movement pulled at his stitches, and he hissed, wishing for more pain meds, but also wanting to talk to Steve. "I failed," he whispered, "I'm so sorry."
"No, you two are on solid ground. I thought that maybe you'd have told him about...well. He understands, now. And he really would like to talk to you. There's no rush. It can happen when you're comfortable." Steve's expression shifted to one of concern once more when Tony winced in pain, and quickly fell to one of sadness at his comment. "Tony, no. No, don't ever say that you've failed. Remember what I told you before? Not every day is going to be a peach pie. Things will be rough sometimes. This is just one of those times. You have not failed. And don't you apologize."
Tony sighed deeply. "Okay," he whispered, his eyes sliding shut. He was exhausted. He reached out for the medicine doser but couldn't reach. He distantly heard the click of said doser as he drifted out, his mind receding into darkness. He vaguely felt the ghost of Steve's lips on his forehead before he lost all consciousness and fell into a deep, drug induced sleep.
And there you have the next one. Please leave reviews people, they really mean so much to me and I get discouraged when I don't get feedback from my readers. If you have any suggestions of things you might like to see, lemme know-if I like it, I might put it in! Much love xoxo