It's been a couple of weeks since Serena identified the man that raped her and Dan has been really supportive ever since he found out what really happened to her. Serena's feeling a lot better and the physical damage of the incident has disappeared as well. Everything is going well and Serena is even back at work and college. But eventhough everything is going well, there's one thing that's slowing driving them apart. She hadn't let Dan touch her in a long time and although he says it can wait, she knows it's torturing him.

Blair invited Serena over for a girls only afternoon, trying to take her mind of off recent happenings. Serena's thankful, thankful for every kind of distraction she could get. She's finally starting to heal. They sit together on the couch in the penthouse, sipping coffee and talking about Louboutin's winter collection when Serena makes a confession.

'Dan and I tried to sleep together last night...' Serena says shyly, expecting a disgusted look from Blair but that doesn't happen.

Instead she looks her straight in the eyes and asks: 'And?'

'I started crying...' Serena says embarrassed. 'We kissed and it was fine but when he tried to touch me, I started crying,' she continues.

Blair listens patiently as to what Serena is telling her, knowing this is a big step for Serena.

'What if I'll never be able to … you know... sleep with him again? Ever?' Serena says desperately.

'He says he can do without but sooner or later he's gonna need some and then he'll leave me...' she says now crying 'I don't want him to leave me.'

flashback

They've talked about doing it. Serena was even the one to address it. It's not like sex is the most important aspect of their relationship, yet it is a pretty big one. And definitely one neither of them can live without forever. Dan was a little caught off guard when Serena told him she thinks she's ready to sleep with him again, so he wasn't really capable of anything more than an 'okay'. When they're both in bed, the mood is tense, even slightly awkward. Dan initiates which makes Serena feel a little bit of relief. When he kisses her, her body stiffens and he immediately withdraws himself from her. Serena starts shaking and a tear drops from her eye.

'I'm sorry' Serena whispers crying 'I'm so sorry' she continues as Dan lays down with his back facing her.

Serena watches him, then lies down next to him, her back facing his, crying herself to sleep. The sobs Dan is hearing break his heart. He's angry, sort of, but not really. He's angry that all of this happened to Serena. He's angry at himself for not being able to help her the slightest bit. He realizes, that what he just did, won't help Serena in any way so he lies down on his other side, now facing Serena's back. He cuddles up to her, his stomach now touching her back. He grips her hand and strokes it carefully.

'I'm sorry' he whispers in her ear 'I love you.' he continues before they both fall asleep.

present

'Nate you loser,' Dan calls out has he pots yet another ball on the pool table 'this is getting boring, I have no real competition.'

'Sorry broooo' Nate says leaning is pool stick to the wall.

'It's fine, I guess' Dan states 'no one can beat me and my superior pool skills, obviously' Dan continues laughing.

'Speaking of' Nate implies 'Have you talked to Serena?'

Dan groans and lays his pool stick on the table.

'I take that as a no?!' Nate says.

'Yeah well no, not really' Dan says as he looks down.

'Dude what is it, don't be such a girl' Nate says, scuffing Dan in the side.

Dan struggles to find the right words but then decides to just say it

'It's been 5 weeks. five. weeks. I have blue balls,... literally.'

Nate bursts into laughter 'Jesus Christ, I thought you were gonna tell me your grandma died, that was the kind of face you were pulling off anyway.' …

'Just give Serena some time' Nate continues now with a more serious face.

'Nate, that's not it. I'm not pressuring her into anything. I'll give her as much time as she needs. I'd still wanna spend the rest of my life with her even without the sex.' Dan answers.

Nate gives him a suspicious look.

Dan catches it and rambles on 'Yes I would. Although it'd be really hard. I love that girl more than anything. We can make it work... right?' Dan looks over to Nate 'Right?'

'Dude, of course. It's been only 5 weeks and I know you're feeling a lot of pressure down there but things will work out eventually. You guys are mfeo' Nate says.

'Mfeo?' Dan questions Nate.

'Duh, made for each other.' Nate answers 'Don't judge me, I learnt it from Two And A Half Man. You should watch it' he says as he winks.

'I'll look into it' Dan laughs 'Anyways, I gotta go to class... This conversation turned out some kind of girly so let's pretend it never happened.' he continues.

They shake hands and Nate scuffs Dan's shoulder

'Goodbye Dan'

'Bye loser' Dan says as he points to the pool table then leaves the apartment.

Serena is at home cleaning the apartment when she hears the doorbell ringing. She drops the broom and walks over to the door to open it. She looks through the peep hole and sees a bunch of white lillies. She finally opens the door.

'Flowers for you, Ms. Van der Woodsen" says a well-fed man in his mid-forties as he hands the flowers over to her.

She takes them and as she wants to ask who they're from, the man already left. She turns around, closing the door with her foot and smells the lillies. She places them on the kitchen counter and opens the card that came with the flowers:

/

Serena,

You always say that I'm a man of great words.

But sometimes, sometimes there are no words

in the whole wide world to explain a certain thing.

There are no words in the world that

could even begin to describe how I feel about you.

There is absolutely nothing that would make me fall

out of love with you, absolutely nothing that would

make me leave you, ever. What I have with you, it's

something I would protect with my life. I'd rather give

up anything I love than lose you because you are what

I love the most. You are the love of my life.

- Dan

/

Serena closes the card as a feeling of joy and luck overcomes her. She closes her eyes and smells the flowers once again and then walks over to the CD player and puts on some music to continue cleaning the apartment.

*I can be so negative sometimes; my own worst enemy sometimes... Even at my lowest low, you still had hope.

When I wanna quit, you won't let me; When I'm falling down, you gon' catch me; you pick meup, yeah, you fix me up.

Now I'm on my way and I'm strong enough to say: You gave me wings, and taught me to fly

when I was out there on my own; You gave me wings and brought me to life...*

Serena sings along as she's on cloud 9.

When Dan comes home from classes, he finds Serena sitting on their couch browsing through VOGUE. When she sees him she drops the magazine, moves up and slowly makes her way over to him. She holds his face with both of her hands and kisses him gently. Her hands move down and grip his, slowly guiding him into their bedroom. When they stand in front of their bed, Dan sits down and pulls her onto the bed next to him. Serena let's him know without actually speaking. She's ready.

„Are you sure?", Dan whispers in her ear, hovering over her.

„I'm sure." Serena says smiling, now gently kissing him.

He runs his fingers along her side, stopping at her waist, slipping his thumb under her night shirt, touching her soft skin for the first time after weeks. It's electric, magnetic. Indescribable. He knows tonight is all about pleasuring Serena, making her feel as comfortable as possible. He gets rid of Serena's night gown in one swift motion as Serena starts unbuttoning Dan's shirt. He stripes down his jeans as she buries her head in his shoulder. They slowly lie down and Dan hovers over Serena. He kisses her gently but passionately as he runs his fingers down her sides, carefully stroking her bare skin. Serena can feel his tongue playing with hers which makes her loosen up a little as she's still very nervous and tense. Dan plays with the material of her black silk thong as she rests her hands on his chest while still kissing deeply. He runs his fingers up to her bra, gently touches her collarbone then pulls her up and unhooks her bra. They stop the kiss for a brief moment just to look at each other and when Serena smiles at Dan he kisses her again, slowly running his fingers over her back, making her shiver. She kisses his neck as he runs his fingers down and respectfully rests them on her thigh. He lies her down again and as he kisses her collarbone. She closes her eyes and moves her hand to his head, gently stroking through his hair. He starts kissing her breasts, taking his time, he sucks one nipple then the other which makes her moan quietly. He slowly wanders down with his kisses, kissing her stomach, licking her belly button then her right and left inner thigh which makes Serena arch her back and grab Dan's head again. He takes off her panties as Serena watches him intriguely. He carefully touches her most sensitive spot and smiles as Serena closes her eyes and bites her lip. She's finally able to let herself go which is a big step for either of them. Dan continues as he replaces his finger with his tongue. He holds her thighs to steady himself a little as he places kisses on her clit. He circles his tongue around her clit and hears Serena moaning as she arches her back again and grips his hair even tighter. Knowing he provides her with pleasure, he stops and looks up for a brief second to watch her face.

'Don't stop' Serena mumbles 'this is so good' he hears her saying as she bites her lips again which turns Dan insanely on.

He moves up and hovers over her, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. Serena opens her mouth a little to let Dan's tongue slip in and play with hers. He runs his left hand down her side and rests it on her hip while his right hand pulls her golden locks out of her face gently strokes her cheek where he then places a kiss. He moves slighty up and Serena opens her legs as he very slowly and carefully slides into her. This feels like their first time. Dan didn't want to disappoint Serena back then and he sure as well doesn't want to now. Both simultaneously let out a moan as Dan starts moving in and out. He quickens his path and suddenly out of nowhere, Serena climaxes so intense, she scratches his back a little. Dan pushes faster as he knows he's close. Serena opens her eyes just to watch him, knowing too, that he's close. He puts all his energy into his pushes as he comes and collapses on top of Serena. He doesn't bother pulling out. Instead, their eyes are locked and Serena plays with his ear like she did after their first time. Dan comes a little closer and kisses her passionately one last time before eventually pulling out. Covered in sheets, Serena cuddles up to Dan and rests her head on his chest.

It is a warm feeling when a girl is leaning her head against a guy's chest. It is not just about lust or anything. But, it is a way to comfort herself. There's a sense of security when you just feel the lovely curves in his chest. It's like listening to his heartbeat and feeling his breath beneath your hair. It's one of the best yet simple moments that you can cherish with the person that you love so much.

He strokes through her hair until they both fall asleep.

a/n DONE! I hope this chapter made up for all the drama and heaviness of the last few chapters. I had a lot of fun writing this story but here it is. The last chapter. I intended this to be the last chapter... but I don't know. It feels kinda unfinished. What do you think? Leave it like that? Or continue?

Anyway, my thank yous go to Pardos and Christina who both have been so supportive. Thank you girls! :)