Nothing to say much here, other than my hope that I can maintain a regular update schedule. Please review, and point out errors.
Rosalinen was running as fast as she could to Plushville. The troll's attempt on her life was too sudden a shock for Rosalinen to think straight. Right now, the only thing on her mind was to get away, away from the threat of dying. Down the hills she went, running and running without stopping, over and under the rolling land.
10 minutes later, the adrenaline finally wore off, and Rosalinen was reduced to inching her feet on in sheer exhaustion. The forest lay far behind her now, and from the hill she was on, Plushville was just about a quarter mile from the bottom of the hill. She had to tell the townspeople about the pillow trolls. Though exhausted, she continued on to Plushville.
Plushville wasn't really a lot different from Pillowford. Other than being slightly larger due to all the plains it could spread on, and also having farms besides several parts of the town, it didn't seem to differ, at all. Entering the town, Rosalinen found that there only seemed to be one difference: banners all over the place with an overly long title for an event saying "Trololol Day: Celebrate the Monthiversary of Killing Our Enemies with the help of our Brand New War Song".
"Brand New War Song? What?" Rosalinen asked to herself, very bemused by what she had just read. Going deeper into the town, she then spotted almost the entire town population in the town center in a massive town-wide party. Everyone was dancing while a singer on a stage kept singing the most cringe inducing tune she had ever heard. By the stage were signs saying "Open Mic for Anyone who wants to sing the War Song".
"Are they actually serious?" she said to herself. It was the most ridiculous event she had ever seen. The singer on the stage was only making things worse, with his constant "AHHHHHHHHH YAH YAH YAHHHH YAHHH YAH YAH YAHHHH YAH YAH" and "TROLOLOLOLOL, LOLOLOL, LOLOLOL, LOLOLOLOL!". How was she going to warn everybody about the incoming pillow troll attack if there was some idiot droning on with his utterly ridiculous scat singing? Was this even a war song, or is its sheer ridiculousness their actual weapon against the trolls? Whatever it was, Rosalinen shook her head at the bedlam.
She made her way to the stage, although she had to wait for the current singer to end first before she could get on the mic, so she waited at the bottom of the stage, covering her ears if not to relieve herself of the grating music. Unfortunately, 10 minutes later, the singer was still on stage, seemingly never running out of breath with the gibberish he was singing. Her patience gone, she abruptly climbed the stage and went close to the singer, but she had to back away for a few moments as the singer suddenly belted out an extremely painful "AAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-eeeeee-eeeeee-EEEEEE EEEEEEEE luh luh LOOOOOOOOOOH LOOOOOOOOOH lah lah-". That was it. She violently pushed the singer off his feet and grabbed the mike, attracting the attention of virtually everyone in town, causing all the dancing to stop and causing everyone's eyes to be on Rosalinen.
"Everyone! You've got to believe me, you're all in danger right now! The trolls are coming to attack! My friend and I got attacked in the forest, I escaped, but I don't know where he is now. All I know is they plan to attack you guys! I-"
"Do you have any proof? We might end up gearing up for nothing, you know, and ruin our celebration,"
"I-" "She's right, everybody!" a voice suddenly interrupted. Looking around, Rosalinen saw Finn dashing through the town center while everyone made curious glances at him, all of them noticing his being made of flesh, and his very visible sword. He climbed on the stage, and said "We overheard them cackling about invading this town or something, and we tried to stop them, but one escaped and now I think they're on their way here!"
"I don't even think their chief's even gotten over how we nearly ki-" "BANZAAAAAAAAAAI!" a loud crowd of trolls suddenly interrupted, and suddenly attacked from nearly every road leading into the town circle.
"Crap," Rosalinen and Finn said at the same time as they watched the carnage begin unfolding right in front of them. Helpless unarmed pillows were being bludgeoned by the ruthless trolls who were swarming the crowd from all directions. Each and every whack and wham of the sticks of the trolls were making the two wince from the brutality of what they were seeing.
"I can't let this be. Rosalinen, you stay here, I'm gonna join the fight," Finn said, unsheathing his sword and diving into the battle from the stage, quite literally. Rosalinen, knowing fully well that she had no combat skills, remained at the stage while she watched pillow and troll war against each other and Finn cleaving his way through all the trolls he could find and attack.
Wham and whack and slash and screams filled the air, having thrust Plushville into absolute chaos. It was beginning to be a losing battle; the townspeople were being further beat by the trolls, though Rosalinen could see a good amount of people managing to slip out and get as far away as possible from the battle. Finn himself was being ganged up upon by 6 trolls, each being good in combat enough to make counters to Finn's movements and attacks.
She could not bear to watch what was unfolding. She had never seen war before in her life, and though her history classes often held her interest when topics of war came about, it was the first time she saw it actually unfold before her very eyes.
She racked her mind for a way to help. She couldn't just let the townspeople get conquered and become known as the girl who did nothing. It was then that the singer she had pushed away from the mic, who was being dragged off the stage by some trolls, then said "sing the war song!". Rosalinen suddenly freezed at the thought of singing the most embarassing song possible in front of everyone, even if they were all preoccupied with getting bludgeoned by trolls. "Do it!" the singer pleaded as he got bludgeoned with sticks.
Swallowing all her fear, she took the mic and began singing.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh yah yah yahhhhhhhhh, yah yah yahhhhhh yahhhhhh yah yah," she began, and instantly managed to get the attention of all the trolls. Ugh, she thought. "Ohohohohooooooooo yah yah yahhhhhh yah yah yahhhhh yahhhh yah yah..."
"Louder, Rosalinen!" Finn shouted out as he tried to kill as many trolls as possible while they were still fixated on the horrendous song that reminded them of the way they were defeated the last time they invaded.
"Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh..." she continued as the trolls began covering their ears and attempted to continue with their massacre of the townspeople, albeit with intense difficulty; plenty of people were managing to run away from the battle as fast as possible. "Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh nuh NUHHHHHHH!" Rosalinen sang on, very much embarassed of what she was singing, even if it was to help the Plushvillers against the trolls. Dozens of variations of " *%& this globdamn song!" were now filling the air instead of the whacks of the sticks the trolls carried, while the townspeople were escaping as much as they can while Rosalinen continued to belt out their war song for them.
In the middle of the whole mess was the pillow troll chief, who, other than his golden stick and cape, looked no different from his brethren. Intent on finally getting revenge on his tribe's defeat the past month, he was not going to let some random teenage girl scat-sing her way to victory for their enemies. With a painful whack on one of the trolls covering his ears, he screamed "GET YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR EARS AND GET THAT GIRL!", and with that the trolls all began charging at the stage towards Rosalinen, who had nowhere to go from the stage. "Rosalinen! No!" Finn shouted out as the trolls made it by the stage, already beginning to climb up. It was then that Rosalinen sang one of the highest notes she had ever sang in her life.
"AAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-eeeeee-eeeeee-EEEEEE EEEEEEEE", she sang in a deafening, high pitched voice, making all the trolls recoil in the sheer horrendousness of the song, unwilling to climb on the stage. Each and every troll had the look of "oh glob make it stop" on their faces. "...luh luh LOOOOOOOOOOH LOOOOOOOOOH lah lah-"
Then the loud shout of a crowd came from the outside of the town center. An army of Plushville citizens, all armed with their own sticks, plus some staves and hammers, marched in, itching to begin their attack. Taking notice, Finn took the time to motivate the rearmed citizens with a few words. "People of Plushville! Are you ready to fight!?" Finn shouted out, and received an overwhelming "YES!" in return. "These trolls shall never bother you people ever again! Charge!" Finn shouted out, and with a loud battle cry, the townspeople flooded into the town center, with Finn leading the attack, headed straight for the stage where the trolls had managed to trap themselves by.
And so the remainder of the Battle of Plushville passed by, with the trolls overwhelmed by their unfortunate situation of being surrounded on all directions, Finn taking numerous kills with his overly sharp (by pillow world standards) sword, and Rosalinen singing the Trololo war song while a bloody (or maybe feathery?) war unraveled under her feet, literally. Whatever few openings there where in the beatdown were taken advantage of by the trolls, in the manner of getting the hell out of there and retreating.
After at least 15 minutes of chaos, the fighting began to die down, and the remainder of the trolls who could not escape were surrendering to the Plushvillers. Rosalinen finally sighed in relief in not having to sing the war song any further, and Finn was removing pieces of fabric that had managed to cling to his sword. The troll chief had apparently got away, but it was still a victory, with about 27 trolls captured, and 21 trolls dead, 15 by Finn's sword. The number of citizens that had died in the battle was still undetermined, and for the meantime everyone was euphoric over their overwhelming victory. In the spur of the moment, Rosalinen and Finn hugged each other tightly, euphoric over their victory, only for them to quickly realize what they were doing, and let go, both blushing. The crowd began carrying Finn and Rosalinen in the air; the two were hailed as the heroes of the town.
People were partying again with greater fervor than before the raid by the trolls. Confetti was flying all over the place, and once Finn and Rosalinen were put down by the crowd, chants and songs were created and sung on the spot. The two exchanged with the crows high-fives, fistbumps, and in Finn's case, man-hugs from most of the men who had fought.
While Finn and Rosalinen were being celebrated by the crowd, a very round, fat pillow with a really big hat who was still carrying his battle-stick approached them. Making a loud ahem for the crowd to quiet down a bit, he began a small speech, in honor of the battle that had taken place.
"Citizens of Plushville! Mayor Hatrick spesking. It is with great pleasure for me to announce another victory for our village against the trolls that terrorize the land!" he shouted out, as the crowd cheered loudly. "Today, my friends, we drink and feast merrily, for Glob has delivered our people into victory over our enemies!" he continued, to yet another round of cheers from the crowd. "And it wouldn't have been so overwhelming a victory if it weren't for these two brave heroes!" he continued, referring to Finn and Rosalinen. The whole crowd cheered and began to cheer "HEROES!" as they didn't know the names of the two. Once the crowd finally started quieting down, the mayor continued, "Would you two be so kind enough as to tell us your names?" he asked.
"I'm Finn,"
"And I'm Rosalinen,"
With those the crowd began chanting again, this time repeating their names over and over again, while the two merely smiled at all the praise they were receiving.
"We couldn't have done this without your help. I have heard of you, Finn Flesh-pillow. They say you killed a dragon with one slash of that sword you have right now?" Mayor Hatrick asked.
"Yep,"
With that reply the crowd suddenly turned silent, a feeling of awe engrossing the crowd, realizing that the same man who became famed in stories throughout the land as the dragon-killer had now helped them win a war, killing 15 trolls himself.
Then Hatrick turned to Rosalinen, saying "But you, Rosalinen, that act of singing our new war song was what turned the tide in the battle!"; the crowd began cheering loudly in praise of her. "Without your voice, we wouldn't have been able to retreat, arm ourselves in our homes, and defeat the trolls distracted by our deliberately annoying song!" he continued, with the crowd cheering even louder after saying that.
"We don't know how much to thank you two, a wonderful battle couple you make!" he then said, causing Finn and Rosalinen to both blush a very, very deep red. "Besides the feast we will be holding in honor to you and to our victory, is there any way we can help you two?"
Finn then said "Actually...yeah. I need to, uhm-"
"Finn here is on a quest to find people knowledgeable about portals, teleportation, and alternate universes. He's gone around looking for many magicians and stuff, but no one has anything that could help him. Do you guys know anyone or any place where we can find help?" Rosalinen butted in for Finn.
"Oh, yes! There's a city farther in the plains called Beddington, the only problem is, it's fifty miles away," Hatrick replied.
"Tomorrow?" Rosalinen quickly asked Finn.
"Let's head there tomorrow," Finn replied back.
"It's a really big place, and there's a famed wizards' guild there. I bet they might be able to help you guys." Hatrick continued. "Is there anything else we can help you with?" he then said. When both Finn and Rosalinen replied with a shrug, Hatrick then turned around and shouted out "Alright people! Today we party deep into the night until the whole town is inebriated!" "Wooo!" the crowd replied.
And they sung the Trololo song until the sun went down and back up again, by which time Finn and Rosalinen had long went home from the party to prepare for their next adventure to Beddington.
Written after too much time on youtube, ended up shoehorning Eduard Khil's song into my story. Also, I'm not saying Trololo is a horrible song (I really like it, it's just so funny a song), but just pretend that for the characters in the story, it is.