Horrible Housekeeper

Alek opened the door to the small apartment that he and Deryn shared, to find a, for lack of a better word, complete mess. Clean laundry was draped over the back of the two chairs near the window, and there was a wooden hamper in a corner near the door stuffed with dirty clothes. When he entered the kitchen he found the sink cluttered with filthy dishes and the counter was in good need of a cleaning. Alek sighed; it was always like this as Deryn would only had time to do housework one day a week. He had offered to learn from her(he had no idea how to do any sort of cleaning besides making his bed and some light dusting), but Deryn always seemed to have something else to do.

"Deryn, I'm back." Alek said, closing the door behind him and shifting the groceries in his arms a little.

"Oh, good. Just set the groceries on the counter." She replied from her bedroom. Alek sighed, setting the bag of groceries down and dreading the conversation he was planning to get himself in to. He sat at the small kitchen table and waited for Deryn to come out from her room. In a few minutes she strolled in, whistling absentmindedly and rolling up the sleeves of her shirt.

"Deryn, can I talk to you for a moment?" Alek asked, pinching the edge of her sleeve to keep her from passing by.

"Eh? Oh, sure. What is it?" Deryn said, glancing at him, and then continuing to the kitchen counter when Alek released her sleeve. She pulled out a pot from one of the cupboards and filled it with water from the pump.

"Well…..I've been thinking," he said hesitantly as Deryn set the pot on the stove to boil. "And…I think that maybe we should try to keep the apartment a little cleaner…" Alek cringed as he noticed Deryn's knife, which had previously been occupied chopping carrots, freeze.

"And what," she said, her voice dangerously low, "do you mean by that?"

Alek shivered. This was dangerous territory. They rarely argued, but it seemed to him that whenever they had disagreed it had always ended badly for him; typically with Deryn punching him….hard.

"Well, I was just thinking that it would be nice if the….laundry wasn't everywhere…..and….if the kitchen was….a bit cleaner." He said quietly, trying his best to sound placid. "It's not that I don't appreciate all that you do around the house…it's just that…."

"Oh, I'm so sorry if I can't spend all of my time like one of those fancy maids in one of those bloody castles! Don't you see how hard I work around here as it is?! I cook the meals, I wash the dishes, the laundry, I even wash your bloody socks for you! If I wanted this, I would have stayed with my Ma and Aunties! And that's not even counting all of the things that Dr. Barlow has me do! I spend half of my time working my bum off doing her blasted paperwork!" She had turned around by now and she was waving her kitchen knife around angrily as she shouted. "From now on, why don't you try doing all those things?! You can start by making the bloody dinner!" Deryn threw her knife down on the table in front of Alek and stormed off. Alek meanwhile, got up from the table and went to her bedroom door, which had just been slammed quite loudly as she locked herself in her room.

"Deryn? Deryn, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it that wa-" he began apologizing through the door.

"JUST GO AWAY, YOU BUMRAG!" Deryn screamed back.

Alek sighed and went back to the kitchen. He picked up the knife that Deryn had thrown down, and started to chop carrots, trying to copy the precise way that he had seen her doing it. He had finished cutting the carrots as best as he could, and at a loss for what to do next, Alek tossed the carrots into the boiling water. The water splashed out of the pot, burning Alek's hands and causing him to yelp. He sucked on the burned spots and then turned bitterly to the bag of groceries. She had mentioned that she was making stew, and he was fairly certain that there was more to stew then carrots. Alek pulled out a potato and started chopping it into large irregular pieces, dropping them gingerly into the pot and ducking behind an upraised cutting board as he did so.

He stared at the remaining ingredients, wondering what else he could add. It had been a long time since Alek had eaten stew, and as he tried to recall the experience, he vaguely remembered the presence of some sort of meat and maybe a few peppers. He poked at the slices of beef that he had just recently bought and wondered if he should cook it before tossing it in with the other ingredients. Alek contemplated all that he knew about meat and its consumption. He was positive that eating raw meat wasn't healthy…or even safe, but what if it was boiled beforehand?

He finally decided to deal with it as he had seen Deryn deal with breakfast sausage. Alek found a pan, and set it on the stove, turning up the temperature as high as it would go. Then he laid the slices of beef within and pulled a chair near the stove so he could watch it cook. Alek soon grew bored of that, so he began throwing any random vegetables that he could find into the pot of boiling water. By now, the carrots and potatoes in it had been boiling far too long, and had softened so much that they had begun to fall apart. Alek, however, concluded that that was the proper result, and turned towards the meat once again…..to find it slightly burning. He cursed, grabbing the pan from the fire and throwing the meat into the pot. About ten minutes later, he turned the heat off, and ladled the stew into two bowls, adding a small loaf of bread to each one.

Cautiously, Alek approached the door to Deryn's room. He knocked, saying, "Deryn, can I come in?"

After a moment Deryn opened the door, her eyes red-rimmed from frustrated tears, but an apologetic expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, Alek. I shouldn't have reacted that way." She said, shuffling one foot and staring at it. Alek, sighed, offering a smile, pacific and apologetic.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said that to you. You already do so much; it's my fault that the apartment looks this way. If I had been more adamant in learning how to help you more around here, then you wouldn't be so stressed and the apartment would be more organized and I would have learned by now how to be more useful and none of this would have happened an-" Alek rambled, eyes fixed guiltily on the floor before Deryn interrupted.

"It's alright, it's alright. Barking spiders, you're never this antsy!" She said, humor filling her voice and brightening her face. "Oh," Deryn exclaimed with surprise and amazement as she noticed the bowls of food in Alek's hands. "You actually finished cooking?"

"Yes….but, I'm not entirely sure if it is….right…" he muttered, cheeks flushing as he recalled the dangerous and confusing cooking experience. Deryn raised one eyebrow before grinning.

"Oh, please! It's stew! How bad could you have mussed it?" she exclaimed, grabbing a spoon from Alek's hand, and filling it, before bringing it to her lips. After taking the spoon into her mouth, Deryn's eyes widened and she yanked the spoon away, spitting the stew onto the floor and gagging.

"That was HORRIBLE! What on earth did you put in it?!" She screamed, shooting Alek a look of complete disbelief.

"Well," Alek began, "I don't really know….I…uh…" He stammered, backing away, his pride bruised.

"It tastes like one of Jasper's socks…" She muttered, cringing, her face scrunched in disgust. Alek blanched.

"And how, exactly, do you know what your brother's socks taste like?" He exclaimed. Deryn crossed her arms and glared.

"We used to have sock battles when we were just wee little things. Still can't forget what a bloody awful cheat the bumrag was." She growled. Alek stared at her for a moment, began to chuckle, and then burst into full out laughter. Deryn glanced at him, smiled, and was soon laughing as well. After they had both calmed down, Deryn took the bowls from Alek's hands, went to the kitchen, and dumped their contents into the sink. She turned to face him, hands on her hips.

"I guess we'll just have to make something else for dinner. But, this time, we're going to do it together. I'll teach you." Deryn declared, smiling. Alek returned the smile and rolled up his sleeves a little more.

"Alright. Together."