A Night of the Saints
By Silverbunnie
Chapter Two
To Skittlehog, the writer who never stopped pestering me about the completion of this story.
The Aurors came in their violet blue robes and shinning badges. They grabbed hold of the uncooperative Ron and struggling Harry, whose glasses fell in the effort. The two tried to talk, tried to explain that this was all just one big misunderstanding, but with a silencing charm placed on them, Harry and Ron were as quiet as mice.
The law enforcers grunted, "We'll take it from here," and dragged their friends away from Honeydukes. Hermione inwardly cursed the injustice of their situation.
"Hermione, what are we going to do?" asked Seamus.
"We've got to follow them," she replied with a determined voice. "But first…"
Hermione walked into the sweetshop just moments after the ruckus had settled, planning to linger for only a few seconds to retrieve the inherited Invisibility Cloak and a pair of taped spectacles.
Behind the counter, the obese man glanced over at her as a chiming of bells announced her presence.
When Hermione smiled at him, the man tagged "Billy" glared suspiciously, and Hermione knew that going unnoticed would not be in the cards. She turned sharply towards the shelves where she knew Harry's glasses would be lying.
It was unfortunate that Hermione spotted them right underneath the peppermint humbugs and that they were in full view of the cashier. Maybe if she kicked it behind the barrel and to the other aisle, it would be easier to slip into her pocket.
"Can I help you?" said the employee stiffly, appearing by her side.
"Oh no, thank you. I'm just looking," said Hermione with the pretence of innocence.
"Do you have a particular fondness for…peppermint humbugs?" Billy said warily.
She shook her head convincingly, "I'd much prefer Licorice Wands."
"Then right this way, miss," and he pushed Hermione away from the fallen glasses to the back of the shop.
Hermione was about to curse her bad luck when she found the second item that she was searching for: the Invisibility Cloak. It was discarded near the bottom of the Licorice Wand containers.
"I'll just get you a baggie," clipped Billy, and he turned his back.
Hastily, Hermione stuffed the thin material into her satchel. The man returned, plastic bag in tow, with a false smile on his wrinkled face. "Here you are, miss." And he moved to his former position behind the counter.
Hermione couldn't just leave the store now, without any sweets. That would look too conspicuous. She decided to gently look over the candy, taking her time in doing so, and then place one in the bag. Hermione repeated this until she knew the man named Billy had turned his attentions to other more significant things, such as the inventory.
So she made her way back to the peppermint humbugs, while inspecting other exotic sweets. Hermione found herself before the barrel once again. She took a glance over her shoulder to check on the store clerk, who was still occupied, then swiftly reached for Harry's glasses.
Hermione would never have imagined what she's get instead.
A red-haired man less than two feet tall was stuffing his mouth vigorously with peppermint humbugs. He looked up sharply when Hermione stuck her hand at him. What surprised Hermione the most was that the little green man was wearing Harry's glasses!
"Hey, watch it," he cried grumpily.
"Are you a leprechaun?" said Hermione in awe.
"What's it to you?" sneered the little man.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother…but can I have those glasses you're wearing?" she whispered. "They belong to a friend of mine."
Then he threw some candy at her face. "Finders keepers, losers weepers."
He blew her a raspberry.
Hermione was indignant at his rudeness. Here she was, already in a mess, and this leprechaun was being a complete and utter jerk! So she just tried to take them from his face, but the little man screeched and threw some more candy.
By this time Billy had returned his attentions towards the flailing candy and was angrily stalking to Hermione. "Hey you!"
"Give them back, you pest!" Hermione rushed.
The leprechaun smiled deviously. "If you want it, come and get it."
He leaped onto an out of reach barrel of jawbreakers, throwing them at the two fuming humans.
Billy didn't expect to have candy flying at his face. He was knocked over when large amounts shot at his head.
Hermione glanced at the fallen clerk and then back to the exit, where the bells chimed after the leprechaun raced out and turned left. Hermione ran out after him. The chase had begun.
Although the new joke shop in Hogsmeade did not make as much profits as the one in Diagon Alley, it was pretty successful. That's why it was unusual for the shop to be empty today. There wasn't much business on a Thursday (due to the lack of students), even if it was a holiday. No one really celebrated St. Patrick's Day by purchasing Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, even if they did have a new faux-leprechaun line.
So both George and Fred were doing the most menial task they could think of—inventory. Usually this job was left to their assistants, but the girls were at the Diagon Alley shop.
George was in the back storage room when he heard Fred call, "Oi! Come out here!"
George was hardly one to ignore an important call, especially if it began with, "Oi!"
At the front of their store, Fred was looking through the window at some sort of ruckus happening outside.
"What's going on?" George asked as he neared his brother.
"Seems like the Magical Law Enforcement caught some bandits," Fred replied, excitedly.
George leaned a little closer to the pane of glass. "They're just a couple of kids."
"Yes, well, they wouldn't be just a couple of kids if they came vandalizing or stealing things from our store. They'd be just a couple of dead kids."
They were watching the Aurors struggle with the thieves, when George noticed something.
"Wait, Fred. Don't those two kids look like—"
"Ron and Harry!" said Fred in realization.
The twins raced out to get the attention of the two Aurors.
"What do you think you're doing!" cried George to a very large and menacing-looking Auror.
"Do you know who these two are?" Fred demanded.
"Yeah," one mustached Auror replied. "Juvenile delinquents."
"Move out of the way," grunted the larger one. They continued dragging the silent Harry and Ron in the direction of the Magical Law Enforcement Office.
"That is Harry Potter and Ron Weasley!"
"The two you're taking into custody are the kids who saved the Wizarding World so many times from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"
"Right," said the Auror with the thick bush of hair on his upper lip. "And I'm the Minister of Magic."
"No really! Look here." George shoved Harry's bangs out of the way to show the signature lightning bolt scar.
"Blimey! It really is Harry Potter," said the larger Auror. He quickly took out a quill and parchment. "Can I have your autograph? My little girl loves you."
Harry, who was still under the silencing charm, just shrugged and lifted his bound hands to show the Auror that it was impossible for him to even lift a quill. Ron shoved Harry harshly for even considering being amiable to the men who arrested them unfairly.
The other Auror pushed his partner aside and said, "Look, it doesn't matter if he's Harry Potter or Nicolas Flamel. These two were caught stealing candy at Honeydukes, and we need to file a report. Now, if you would please move out of our way—"
"Ron! If you wanted some spare change for some useless candy, you could have asked," Fred said to his brother while smacking him on the side of his head.
Ron would have groaned if he could, but his facial expression said it all.
"Sir, will you release them when you're finished?" George asked in an attempt to be cordial. It was difficult in this situation.
"In an hour yes," the other replied. "Possibly, on bail."
"WHAT?" cried Fred. "But it was only a petty misdemeanor."
"Stealing is stealing."
"But-but," Fred stuttered.
"If you'd like to argue about this, you'll have to take it to my head."
Ron made a gagging gesture, while Harry raised his eyebrows dubiously.
"Ew."
That was Fred again.
Just as he was about to begin another argument, George pulled him backwards by the collar and told the Auror, "Yes. We'd like to talk to the man in charge."
And so they spent the next hour or so at the MLE office, arguing and then talking and arguing some more.
Oh, the monotony.
Hermione had been running for what seemed like forever. For every curse she threw at the little devil, the leprechaun dodged and flung one right back at her. Whenever Hermione thought she could reach out and grab him, he turned a corner, out of her grasp.
Hermione panted heavily, took a gulp of air and yelled out another hex.
A beam of yellow hit the leprechaun, and he burst into a frenzied fit of giggles.
He giggled something in his own tongue and pointed at Hermione with a glowing finger.
POOF!
He blinded me! was Hermione's first thought. But she shook her head and realised that she had been hit by a hair jinx. Her hair expanded three times the size and thickness of her head. She could hardly see a thing.
"Ha!" yelled the leprechaun. "You're a human hairball!"
Hermione growled dangerously and pushed the newly-acquired fro from her vision.
She screamed out the first spell that came to her head. "Evanesco!"
The leprechaun, who anticipated her anger, shot out another spell at the same time, one that Hermione didn't recognize.
His green goopy spell hit Hermione's orange beam and, with a flash of bright light, disappeared.
The leprechaun sat dazed for a second, and in that one moment, Hermione threw her final shot.
"Petrificus totalus!" Then the little green monster fell to the ground.
Hermione sighed with relief. She grabbed the glasses off of his face and said to herself, "Thank goodness that's over. Now to find Harry and Ron."
She needed to save them from getting into more trouble. If anything got back to Hogwarts that they had snuck off school grounds, all four of them would, no doubt, be expelled. And she could never allow that to happen.
With a huff, Hermione brushed the incredibly large fro away from her face and raced to find the boys.
Seamus had been sitting on the broken crate for a while. Hermione had told him to stay out of sight and that she'd be back in a little bit. Although her statement was a bit vague, Seamus was sure that a 'little bit' did not equate to half an hour. That was how long he had been sitting there. He was beginning to think that his left butt cheek was getting numb.
After some hesitation, Seamus stood up, just to be knocked down again by an object that slammed into his head from above.
"Ouch!" he cried.
Seamus shook his head to clear it and looked around for the unseen object of destruction.
Near his feet, he found a strikingly familiar shoe. His eyebrows furrowed with confusion. He picked it up and then realised that it was Ron's shoe.
Cautiously, Seamus looked above. Nothing. Then he looked around him. Nothing either. There wasn't any indication of where the shoe came from.
"This is too weird," he mumbled while rubbing the sore spot on his head.
Having nothing else better to do, Seamus peeked his head around the corner of the building into Honeyduke's to find a large "CLOSED" sign on the doorway. Hermione was no where to be seen. She must have gone to the pub without him.
Then, out of no where, a large green pile of goop dropped from the sky unto Seamus' head.
Seamus blinked a few seconds, bewildered, before making the slime disappear. The discoloration did not go away.
He decided he would just forget it ever happened, run to his cousin's pub, and get drunk, away from the haunted alley. This day was just too weird.
Outside of the MLE office, Fred, George, Harry and Ron were arguing ruthlessly.
"Ron, you owe us!" said George.
"Me?" Ron cried. "I didn't mean to get caught for something I didn't do!"
"We were completely innocent," Harry affirmed, rubbing his tired, glasses-less eyes. "We didn't even have any candy in our hands."
"Yes, well, you both cost us," Fred said. "I demand to be reimbursed! Or at least given the spoils of your failed burglary attempt."
"I happen to be very fond of peppermint humbugs," George added.
"I told you already!" said Ron. "We didn't steal anything—"
"You know what? Just forget it. We should stop by our shop to get Harry a new pair of glasses and some shoes for you Ron."
"Hey! Look there! What's that thing?"
"It looks like a—"
"JABBERWOCKY!" all the Weasleys cried at once, shivering in their skins.
Harry glanced at what they were looking at, but he could only see a blur of what looked like a large afro running towards them.
Ron, George and Fred were getting ready to scramble away, when Harry, with his Hero-Complex, met the creature head on. The Weasleys just couldn't leave Harry all by his lonesome, so they stayed a good distance away to make sure he wasn't harmed too much. Of course, they would have helped, but Harry obviously got this. He was used to handling danger.
"Stupefy!" Harry yelled. The creature dropped to the ground noiselessly.
Harry slowly made his way to it, to find out what a Jabberwocky looked like. He had never seen one in his life.
"Don't go near it!" Fred exclaimed. "You'll become diseased and end up dead in two minutes. Let's get away from it as fast as we can."
And they all scampered away from the unconscious monster.
Seamus needed to get to his cousin's pub and quick, before some other foreign object landed straight on his head.
As he walked passed the MLE Office, he checked the windows for his lost friends.
Nope, no one recognizable was in there.
"Ooph!" Seamus grunted as he stumbled upon something.
Well, it was better than something attempting to knock him unconscious.
He had accidentally stepped on what looked like a very hairy body.
It groaned, and Seamus jumped away from it, taking out his wand for protection.
It moved its hair away from what Seamus supposed was its face and yelped when it saw a wand pointing straight for it.
"Seamus?"
"Hermione?"
"What the heck happened to you?"
"Don't ask. Even I don't know. Why are you so…hairy? You look like you have an afro."
Hermione sighed, and tied her hair away from her face. It didn't help much.
"Leprechauns."
"Oh," he replied.
"I think I need a drink."
"Yeah," said Seamus awkwardly. "So…you're not going to tell me what happened?"
Hermione glared. "Just get me drunk Seamus."
Ron walked around in his new shoes a bit.
"Don't you have any other color?" he complained.
"Oh shut it," said Fred. "You should be glad that we even decided to help you, after all the trouble you've caused by us getting you out of custody."
"That and it's our only pair of shoes that hasn't been jinxed yet," added George.
"But, they're orange!"
Harry sniggered. "I think that color suits you very well, actually."
"Sod off, four eyes!" said Ron, while Harry adjusted his very feminine glasses. He had no reply to that one.
Ron gasped. "Oh I completely forgot!"
"What?" asked Fred.
"Before we were arrested, we were supposed to meet up with Hermione and Seamus. We were planning to go to an Irish pub for the night, with it being St. Patrick's Day and all."
"Oh yeah!" said Harry.
"A pub?" said George skeptically. "Harry's not even of age. How will he even be able to get anything."
"Seamus' cousin works there," Ron replied. "Do you know any Irish pubs around here?"
"Do you know what it's called?"
"No."
"Well then we better start searching for them now. There are way too many Irish pubs in Hogsmeade."
After the seventh pub and no success, Ron was almost ready to give up. He waited outside with Harry as the twins entered the next Irish pub: Mulleady's.
With a swish and a bang, they entered. There was a loud exclaimation, and with another swish and bang, the twins exited.
"They're in there!"
"What?" said Ron with relief, ready to rush in.
"You will not believe what we just saw."
"I think maybe the city's going to be taken over by snakes!"
"What is it?" asked Harry.
"You'll have to see for yourself," was their reply.
Carefully, Ron, Harry and the twins walked through the doorway.
Swish. Bang.
"Hermione!" said Ron, completely surprised at the scene before him.
What they saw nearly made them choke on their own spit.
There was Hermione, with her hair twice the size it normally was, and Seamus, with green-tinted skin. Both were completely and obviously intoxicated.
"I got it!" shouted Seamus, jumping from his seat. "Spifflified means drunk!"
Then he fell onto his seat, passed out.
Harry smirked. "Well it looks like their having fun. Can I have a bottle of firewhisky?" he asked the bartender, fully intending to get completely drunk.
"Make that three," said George.
Ron could not help but be speechless. Hermione was drunk.
Let's say that again.
Hermione Granger, the most moral-based person he ever knew, was totally, completely, and utterly drunk. The world must be going mad.
But then he really thought about it for a second. One night of pure irresponsibility couldn't hurt, right? So long as no one knew about it.
He sat next to Hermione and began chugging down the bottle in front of her.
Hours later and laughs galore, Hermione pushed her way towards Ron, while the rest of the guys guffawed and poked at Seamus' body with toothpicks.
"Ron, I think I like you," she said boldly.
"You're still drunk," slurred Ron.
"Am I really?"
"Yes. And you don't know what you're saying."
Hermione sighed.
"Alright."
"Alright, what?"
"I'm drunk."
"I know."
"But I still like you. I just couldn't tell you when I was sober."
"Why not?" asked Ron, with his eyes half lidded.
The emotions played upon Hermione's face like an open book. Ron thought she looked sad for a moment.
"Because you wouldn't believe me."
Ron shook his head one time too many. "No no no. I would."
"No, you wouldn't."
"Yes. If you kissed me."
Hermione closed in on him. "Can I kiss you now?"
There was liquor on her breath, and Ron couldn't possibly tell if she was serious.
"You could. But I probably won't remember this."
"Good," and she kissed him.
Maybe if she remembered, she would tell him her feelings tomorrow. If she remembered. But she couldn't be held accountable for what she did tonight, because tonight was St. Patrick's Day. It was the night of the saints, and she already felt as if she were the luckiest girl alive.
"OUCH!" cried Seamus, waking from his stupor, and disrupting Ron and Hermione. "I'M COMPLETELY GREEN! WHY DO YOU INSIST ON PINCHING ME!"
Fred, George and Harry tried to look completely innocent.
"We didn't do anything. Blame it on the leprechaun."
But he was unconscious within the minute.
Nobody could help but laugh.
The End (finally)
Author's Note: Can you believe it? After a year of procrastinating, I have finally finished this story. For all of you that supported this story from the beginning, blame Skittlehog for pestering me to complete this. If you don't like the ending, blame her for that too. She rushed me. And for all of you who do not know, I have changed my penname to Lylian. I will probably no longer be updating on this penname anymore. I hope you enjoyed the story. I didn't.
March 17, 2007