Everyone assumes the world is black and white – that there is always a right and wrong. But the truth is that there is so much more than meets the eye. A black and white world is just easier to accept than a gray one.
"Knock, knock."
Eli Goldsworthy jumped at the sound of Adam's voice and he turned around in his chair, his green eyes locking with the friendly blue stare that was across the room. Adam learned against the doorframe of his friend's study, a brown paper bag in one hand and carefully balancing two cups of coffee in the other, "I thought you could use some breakfast. I know you forget to feed yourself when Clare's gone."
Eli gestured to a chair and Adam took a seat, putting the bag on the side table and handing one of the cups to Eli. He gratefully took the cup and sipped it before asking, "How did you know that Clare was gone?"
"Sirius came over late last night," Adam opened the bag, revealing two bagels, "You didn't notice he was gone?"
"No…" Eli ran a hand through his hair, "He was here before Clare left."
"Do you even try to talk to your son?"
"Look, Adam, I know you're trying to help, but this is my family," Eli's green gaze was intense, "I can handle it."
"He's hurting, Eli. He won't say it – he's a lot like you in that retrospect – but he's hurting. He misses you, but he feels like you hate him because of everything that happened."
"I don't… Adam, you know I don't," Eli sighed, leaning back in his chair, "It's just so hard."
Adam stood up and rested a hand on Eli's shoulder, "I know." He then smiled before picking up his coffee, "Listen, I have to be at work soon, but please, try and talk to Sirius. Let him know that his father is still on his side."
Eli watched as Adam left the room, closing the door behind him, before turning back to his desk, staring intensely at a photograph near the computer screen. It was taken almost twelve years ago during some holiday. Sirius was on Eli's shoulders while Clare had her arms around Darcy and Jake, their children playing at their feet. And then on Eli's right was Ken.
His second son.
You know what is expected of you, but what if your heart leans in another direction? Which organ is stronger? The brain or the heart?
This was going to be a good year.
Austin Dallas walked into his first class, feeling confident about the school year – his last year at Degrassi before graduating. He was sixteen years old, but his brilliance had been recognized at an early age. He went to private schools up until high school and even last year, he was taking a couple of college courses at a nearby university. This year, though, he wanted one average high school year before leaving the country to study at any prestigious university.
He just wanted to get into trouble with his friends and spend time with his girlfriend.
"Austin!"
Speak of the devil.
"Hey, babe," He leaned down to kiss her before glancing at the silver watch that hung off his wrist, "Class starts in a couple of minutes. You don't want to be late."
Nadia bit her lip before taking her boyfriend's hand in hers, "Can we go out today? To the Dot or something?"
"Sure, is Aidan coming?"
"Actually, I want you to myself today."
Austin grinned, "That I can do."
He kissed her again before entering his classroom.
Yes, this was definitely going to be a good year.
Do you tell the truth even though it could hurt someone you loved? Or do you lie and spare them the pain?
"I hate biology," Seth rolled his eyes as he rested his head against the cool lab table, Tyler sitting beside him. Across from them was a new girl with shoulder-length, reddish brown hair, wearing a pink sweater despite the fact that it was hot in the lab.
"It's your fault for failing last year."
"Yeah, yeah, you sound like my father," Seth shot Tyler a crooked grin, "But I guess biology beats chemistry. I wish I could see Cam struggle with all those equations and crap."
The two laughed and the girl sitting at their table with them shot them both a glare, "You'll both be lucky if you pass this year if you two keep talking this much."
Tyler blushed while Seth turned to face the girl, shrugging, "It's biology. I mean, how's it going to help me later on in life?"
"For one thing, it will help you get into college."
"Ah freshmen, so naïve," Seth grinned before glancing at his friend, "No offense, Tyler."
"Just ignore him. I tend to," Tyler smiled softly, "I'm Tyler Delaurier. He's Seth Torres."
"Tracey Novotney," The girl returned Tyler's smile before becoming serious once more, "Now if you don't mind, I want to actually listen to what our teacher is saying."
"Jeez," Seth whispered to Tyler, "I didn't think anyone cared that much about biology."
Tyler ignored his friend and continued taking notes.
She may be really gung-ho about biology, but there was no denying another truth.
She was cute.
Sometimes the truth doesn't exist in a gray world. Friendship is gray, love is gray, every single person is gray – no one is completely nice or one hundred percent asshole. There's good and bad in everyone. The trick is finding out which side – black or white – is the strongest.
"Did you hear about the party at Martin's?" Sirius asked, his feet sprawled out across the picnic bench that he, Aidan, and Cam had claimed for themselves for their lunch period. The other two boys were across the table, a comic book spread out in between them, surrounded by their lunches.
"Yeah," Aidan took a sip of his soda, "Apparently he's getting a couple of kegs."
"Sweet," Sirius grinned, "You two going to be there?"
"Of course. I haven't missed one of his parties yet," Aidan nodded, lazily flipping the page of the comic before turning to Cam, "You going?"
"Uh…"
"Of course he is," Seth joined them, pushing Sirius's feet off the bench so he could sit, "Sirius and I promised we would set you up with someone. We have to make good on that promise and what better place than at a party where every girl is wasted."
"He has standards," Sirius rolled his eyes at Seth, flicking a potato chip at his best friend before turning back to Cam, "Don't worry, I have better taste than Seth here."
"If you let him pick, your girl will be a complete bore," Seth objected.
"Where's Tyler?" Aidan interrupted, noticing Cam's discomfort as Seth and Sirius talked about his possible date, "I thought the two of you had biology together?"
Sirius chortled quietly, "I still can't believe you failed biology."
Seth pushed Sirius off the bench, grinning as his friend landed on the dirt with a thud before facing Aidan, "Actually Tyler offered to show some new girl around. I don't know. He's kind of gotten distant since he decided to go stealth."
"I'm still surprised he decided to do that," Aidan flipped through the comic, "I mean, all of his friends know that he's trans and we don't care. What's so different all of a sudden?"
"Maybe he's trying to get with a girl?" Sirius offered a suggestion, taking his seat next to Seth after dusting the dirt off his pants, "I mean, dating can't be easy when you're trans."
"Hey, my dad found someone alright," Seth objected, but shrugged immediately after saying that, "But to be fair, it did take a lot of time and he had to go through a lot of changes before he and my mom were happy."
"I don't think dating in high school is ever easy," Aidan commented dryly, taking another sip of his soda, "It doesn't matter your gender or sexuality."
Everyone looked at one another and for once they were all in agreement.
The words are on the tip of your tongue… the truth. The trick is making them real.
"So what do you think of Degrassi?" Tyler asked, leaning on the wall next to Tracey's locker. It was the end of the first day and students (and more than one staff member) were grabbing their belongings and hurrying out the door, not bothering to turn around. Everyone just wanted to get home to their computers or video games as soon as possible.
"You know you didn't have to walk me to every class today," Tracey smiled, "I could have managed on my own."
"Yeah, yeah I know," Tyler saw Sirius and Aidan waving him over from the other side of the hallway, but he just waved them away, trying to silently signal to them that he would catch up with them later, "Still lots of hallways. It could have been easy to get lost."
"In that case, thanks," Tracey rested a hand on his shoulder, "That was really sweet."
Tyler's cheeks flushed and he shrugged, mumbling incoherently before asking in a stronger tone, "So on Friday everyone is going to this party at this senior's house. I'm going with some friends and it might be cool if you show up too."
"It sounds like fun. I'll think about it," Tracey grinned before closing her locker door, "Until tomorrow, Mr. Delaurier."
Tyler watched her walk away before heading outside and towards the staff parking lot where both his parents were waiting. He was impressed by both of them today. They both worked at the school and other than quick glances in the hallway, they had otherwise ignored him – even after his mother saw him with the same girl multiple times.
"Hey pal, how was the first day?" Connor asked as he unlocked the doors to the car and the Delaurier family got in.
"It was good."
"Meet anyone special?" Tyler caught his mother's stare in the mirror and shrugged.
"Too soon to tell."
At the end of the day, we try to balance everything out in a way where we are happy and everyone we care about is happy, but sometimes you have to make a choice. Are you wrong if you choose to help yourself?
"Vanilla latte with an extra shot of espresso," Austin grinned, placing the cup in front of Nadia who gave him a weak smile.
She picked up the cup and took a sip before putting it down, her mind whirling. Didn't she read somewhere that you weren't supposed to drink coffee when you're pregnant? Wasn't it bad for the baby or something? Did it even matter right now? The last time she and Austin had had sex was three weeks ago so she was still in the early age of pregnancy. Would the coffee affect the baby at all?
What the hell was she thinking?!
She didn't even know if she was going to keep the baby… or go through with the pregnancy yet.
"You okay, babe?" Austin asked, reaching across the table to take her hand, "You're very pale."
"Austin, we need to talk."
It was Austin's turn to have his head spin. He and Nadia had been dating for over year since the summer before freshman year and while he knew down the road, it wouldn't make sense for them to be together, he still wanted to spend every chance he got with her. He didn't want to lose her. She was his first girlfriend, his first love, and his first time. He couldn't lose her.
"Nadia, I know I haven't been around that much, but I was just really busy preparing for the new school year. We'll go out more I promise. I don't want to break up," He covered her hand with his, "I love you."
"Austin, I don't want to break up. I just…" She felt the tears prickle the corner of her eyes, "I have something I need to tell you."
"Babe, don't cry," Austin smiled weakly, squeezing her hand, "Whatever it is, we'll get through it together."
"Austin, I'm pregnant."
He let go of her hands.
The world is spinning and you are the only one who can make a difference.
Eli grabbed the corner of his desk and winced as the pain shot through his skull.
These migraines were getting more and more intense.
He tried to reach for a glass of water, but felt his knees give way and collapsed onto the ground.
What do you do when the ground disappears from under you?
"Austin, please say something."
More silence.
"Austin, please."
"Get an abortion."
At first, Nadia thought she had misheard him, but when he looked up, an intense fire burning in his brown eyes, she knew she hadn't. She thought that he would want to talk about options or something, but she had never expected this.
"Austin, I think we need to talk about…"
"No. There's nothing to talk about," Austin stood up, leaving a couple of bills on the table as a tip, "Get an abortion. We have our whole lives in front of us – I'm going to university in a year. This will screw everything up."
Nadia looked down at her hands and whispered, "Okay."
Austin nodded before grabbing his car keys.
"Come on. I'll take you home."
What do you do?