Author's Note: Wee. It takes me so long to release chapters because, despite finishing it, I leave it around to quality check it before I release it; I want it to be as perfect as possible... xD
Will be having exams soon; wish me luck!
Disclaimer: Hana Yori Dango does not belong to me! But the plot of this fanfic does.
Family Planning
By Onkiu
Chapter Six: Tsubaki and Tama are party animals
Tsubaki's eyes went from left to right as she read over the report. At some parts, she frowned, and at other parts, her eyes had widened and her face had contorted into an expression as though she was about to scream.
Tsukushi couldn't help but cringe as Domyouji lay there helplessly as the seconds - no, years - ticked slowly before them. After what seemed to be a very long time, Tsubaki lowered the document from in front of her face, and, in a very swift motion, had grabbed Tsukushi and pulled her into a tight hug, whereby she dropped Dr. Nishikaido's documents onto the floor without noticing and a servant hastily picked it up and gently returned it into the envelope.
Tsubaki was very, very strong for a woman with such a lithe figure. Tsukushi felt as though she would choke from her hug - all the air was being squeezed out of her lungs.
This must run in the Domyouji family, thought Tsukushi. Strength that is disproportionate to their size. How on earth did they ever get the heavyweight champion strength?
"Oh, Tsukushi! This is WONDERFUL!" squealed Tsubaki, looking as though she would really cry from happiness. Her eyes were glistening strangely. She pulled her even closer to her as Tsukushi felt herself being lifted off the floor.
"Gah... but..." Tsukushi gasped, trying to get enough air back into her system so she could have enough breath to tell Tsubaki that it wasn't true.
But Tsubaki had that strange habit of not listening to people once preoccupied with an idea. "Oh! I'm going to be an aunt! This is so wonderful! An aunt! I'm going to be an auntie!"
She really wanted to tell Tsubaki she was nowhere near becoming an auntie, but she didn't have the heart to break Tsubaki's happiness. "Sister..."
"Oh, Tsukushi!" cried Tsubaki, realising that she was still squeezing Tsukushi. She released her from her iron grip, and settled for holding her at arm's length instead. "Is it going to be a boy or a girl? Am I going to have a nephew or a niece? Oh, silly me! You wouldn't know yet, would you? And to think that Tsukasa would have a child before me! What joy it is!"
Tsukushi still didn't have a say in this yet - Tsubaki wasn't listening. She had gone off on her own tangent now, and it was near impossible to break her train of thoughts. The more Tsubaki gushed, the less Tsukushi felt like telling her the truth. She looked so happy about this - this was the first time that Tsukushi had any qualms about disproving the F4's plan. Tsukushi did not want to hurt her; Tsubaki had been so good to her, treating her like the sister she never had.
But she had to break the news to her now. She would be less hurt now than if Tsukushi told her nine months later - her heart would surely crack open, and the disappointment that Tsubaki would have in Tsukushi would be much greater then than it would be now. Tsukushi would rather not be dishonest with Tsubaki than disappoint her.
"Sister, I-" began Tsukushi seriously, but again, she was ignored once again because Tsubaki still wasn't listening. It seemed that the more Tsukushi saw how blissful Tsubaki was, the less determined Tsukushi was to tell her the truth. By now, Tsukushi had given up her quest to enlighten Tsubaki and was determined to at least put some effort into this plan to at least make her happy, even if it was only for nine months.
"C'mon, Tsukushi! We have to celebrate this! The night's still young, we'll party like it's 1999 even if it's chronologically impossible!" said Tsubaki. She turned to the same servant that had picked up her envelope and instructed, "Take the envelope to Tsukushi's room, and tell Tama to get that bottle I've been saving to sunroom! Let's go, Tsukushi!"
Tsubaki grabbed Tsukushi's hand in a strong grip and half pulled, half power-marched her to the sunroom. Tama arrived there a few minutes later, carrying a bottle of deep red champagne in her thin arms. When Tsubaki saw Tama, she immediately relayed the most happy news to her.
"Guess what, Tama? Sit down first - yeah, put the champagne down - are you ready?"
"What is it, young miss?"
"I'm going to be an aunt!" squealed Tsubaki excitedly.
It only took Tama a second to work everything out. She stared blankly at Tsukushi for a fraction of a second before her face twisted into a sly expression.
"Oho."
"Don't laugh like that," said Tsukushi, a little scared, "It's creepy..."
"Don't call me creepy..." whispered Tama dangerously, her walking stick making sharp jabs at Tsukushi's face.
"I'm sorry!" Tsukushi apologised before Tama could hit her more.
"So, young master finally plucked up the courage to make sweet love to you?" grinned Tama evilly. "I knew he could pull it off in the end, even if his... weiner... was always so small. Never like a frankfurt. But all good things come in small packages. Was young master an animal in bed, or what?"
Tsukushi couldn't help but blush. That was far too much detail for her. She sat there, silent and red faced. She couldn't help but notice how Tama sounded so very much like Nishikaido and Mimasaka. Did Tama's old mind work like a teenage playboy's?
"It was my plan," said Tama proudly, claiming copyright to the future heir. "I told Tsukushi to make a baby with young master so the mistress would accept her, but she refused. So I told young master about this plan instead - I told him to be a man and to be the one to initiate action. He yelled at me at first, but you could tell that he really thought it was a good idea. Seems like he's grown up from a boy to a man now!"
"Speaking of which, where's the proud father?" said Tsubaki. "That stupid boy - where is he? The party's about to start!"
The fact that it was she who knocked him out seemed to have escaped her.
"I'll go get him, young miss," said Tama. She got up and returned with Domyouji, who seemed to have recovered like a dog from Tsubaki's blows. Tama must have been teasing Domyouji, for when he arrived at the sunroom, his face was all red and he was shouting in a loud voice whilst Tama had the most evil, most cunning grin on her face.
"I do have good technique! Who said I was a novice just because it was my first time?"
Tsukushi felt like digging a hole in the vast Domyouji estate lawns and burying herself in it.
"Makino! Did you tell Tama I was a novice?" Domyouji demanded angrily.
"I didn't say anything, you great big octopus head!" yelled Tsukushi. Making up intimidate details of sexual encounters is not my expertise, you fool!
But then it clicked on Domyouji that Tsukushi indeed had not said anything - about the truth (or lies?) behind their plans- and that Tama and Tsubaki did not have the faintest idea that this whole thing could be a farce. But, for now, he bit his tongue and said nothing. He would ask her later.
"Yes, the mother and father are present! Let's get this party started!" said Tsubaki, pouring champagne into four elegant glasses. "To the health of the baby and its mother! Cheers!"
Tsubaki and Tama downed one glass after another, getting more and more drunk even though they had a fairly high tolerance for alcohol. They were going all out due to this piece of happy news. At first, Tsukushi resisted, but as Tsubaki egged her on, she gave in and succumbed to peer pressure. Domyouji sat there, solemn and dignified, sipping it slowly so that it was never quite empty enough to be refilled by a hyped up Tsubaki.
By now, they had drank to the health of the baby, the cost of rent, the price of nappies, to lactose intolerance, the economy, the cost of living, and to world peace. Tsubaki was totally disorientated, totally high in and on spirits, her face red from happiness and from champagne. She now turned to an ornamental tree sitting in a large pot. It had strange, curly leaves that somewhat resembled the hair on Domyouji's head.
"Now- hic- you better treat Tsukushi goodly, mmkay? Make sure she goes to yoga classes or else she'll get lots of cramps! And if you force her to do anything that she doesn't want to, I'll slap you so hard that there'll be a dent in your face," said Tsubaki, pointing her finger in an authoritative gesture at the ornamental tree.
"Young miss," said Tama, who was nearly as disorientated as Tsubaki, "That's not young master, he's over there!" With that, she pulled an unresisting Tsubaki to Tsukushi.
"What happened to your face, Tsukasa?" said Tsubaki, pulling Tsukushi's face. "How come you look so much like Tsukushi?"
"I not Domyouji!" hiccoughed Tsukushi, trying to grip on reality. "Why you pinch my face, Mama? You usually hit me with household appliances..."
Despite Tsubaki's plan to party all night, the three ladies (especially the two older ones), by now, were so wasted that it was going to be impossible. Domyouji ordered some servants up to take Tsubaki and Tama back to their rooms. Tsukushi, although starting to succumb to unconsciousness, was still alert enough to make her way back to her own room. She was about to do so when Domyouji stopped her and asked her the question that he had held back before.
"You're going to go along with it now, aren't you?"
"Along with what?"
"How come you did not tell my sister and Tama the truth? You had plenty of time to tell them while you were alone with them."
"Don't wanna disappoint them; the grandma and sister that I never had... I want them to be happy..."
"Do you plan to tell them once they're sober?"
"What's a sober? Soba? Is it edible?"
"You are going to go along with this now, right?"
"My, my, you've grown so tall, Susumu!"
Thinking that he was her brother, Tsukushi gave a pat on Domyouji's head, finally succumbing to unconsciousness and instantly collapsed. It was a lucky thing that Domyouji was there, and he caught her before she could do any serious damage to her head. Gently, he picked her up in his arms and carried her back to his room. Occasionally, she moaned out strange words like, "Internal examination..." and "You idiot... Domyouji..."
But he wasn't listening. Domyouji was pleased. He could tell that it was a yes, despite her saying otherwise.
Tsukushi woke up the next morning a bit tired, but pretty much recovered from the effects of alcohol.
"Argh. What happened last-"
And it all come flooding back - Tsubaki became drunk, Tama became drunk, and she became drunk. Domyouji wasn't drunk. The last recollection she had was in the sunroom. Domyouji was saying something before she blanked out. So how did she end up here?
Domyouji carried me!
She felt her clothes, and looked down for visual confirmation.
Pajamas! That means... that means... Domyouji changed me from my school uniform into pajamas?
She felt her face going furiously red when there was a knock at her door and she went to answer it. It was the one she feared seeing most this very morning - Domyouji.
"IT'S YOU!" yelled Tsukushi, pointing.
"It's rude to point," said Domyouji. "Not even a morning greeting for the person who had to lift something so heavy from one end of the house to another?"
"YOU! Did you.. did you..." Tsukushi trailed off. She couldn't bear to finish the sentence.
"Strip you?" teased Domyouji. "Yes, I did. Did you think that your pajamas magically pulled itself onto you?"
Tsukushi's jaw dropped and quickly flung her arms over her chest in a reflex protective motion, as though Domyouji was going to strip her again.
"I'm just kidding," said Domyouji, a little exasperated and a little hurt. "I'm not a pervert. But, I'll tell you this - I debated it over and over about whether I should change you into pajamas or get a female servant to do it. In the end, I got a servant to do it, and I regret my choice."
"Anyway!" interjected Tsukushi before he could lament over his decision anymore. Time for a subject change. "Where's Tsubaki and Tama-sempai?"
"They're still asleep. Well, at least Tama is. Sister woke up and she had a hangover, so she's getting a bit more rest now. Anyhow, I came to tell you to get changed."
"WHAT!" screamed Tsukushi. He's here to watch me change?
"You don't have to change in front of me... if you don't want to." Domyouji had read her mind. "Actually, you don't have to change if you don't want to. You look very cute in my pajamas."
Tsukushi blushed. No wonder they were so big.
At that point, Domyouji simply couldn't resist and gave her a hug; he wrapped his arms around her in a protective gesture.
"Anyway, just get changed. We can't have you tripping over in my pajamas on the street," he whispered into her hair. "We're going shopping. I'll wait for you in the foyer."
"I don't need you to buy me Gucci or Prada or whatever," Tsukushi murmured.
"Who said I was buying that for you?" he snickered softly. "We're buying more important, nocturnal things."
"You mean maternal, as in baby's clothes? A cot?" said Tsukushi, "That's a waste of money - especially if we don't even have a baby for those things."
"We're going to buy you a tummy."
"A TUMMY?" yelped Tsukushi, lurching back.
"Yes," sighed Domyouji. "Just hurry up, the others are waiting. No - actually, I don't want you to hurry. I want you to stay in my arms forever."
Next Chapter: Shopping with the F4 - for a tummy. Boys that are used to buying designer wear are going to buy a tummy for a dodgy cause? This is going to be a disaster.
I suck at romance :(