Choices. We make them every day. The good, the bad, the ugly. We choose to help people, or to help ourselves. We allow our decisions to be influenced by our friends and family.
Nadia Torres sat in the clinic alone, waiting for her name to be called. She glanced at the other women around her. There was a woman, probably in college, being held by her boyfriend as she cried while another was surrounded by two other girls, all of them leaning on each other for comfort. There was a girl, maybe a year or two older than Nadia herself, sobbing as a stern face mother holding her hand.
Nadia had no one.
She had texted Austin and told him that she was getting the abortion, but so far, she had heard nothing from him. She still was waiting for him to walk in and hold her, telling her that everything was going to be okay.
The door never opened.
She thought about telling her mother or even Aidan, but she couldn't bring herself. Her mother would be disappointed. Her brother would be angry at Austin. She thought about her aunt. Becky was very understanding, but would she be supportive? She was very religious and Nadia had passed more than one protestor outside.
No. She was better off alone.
Well that wasn't true.
She would be better with Austin, but he wasn't coming.
Nadia sat alone and waited for the nurse to call her name.
We choose the people we surround ourselves with, but we don't choose how much we care about them. Logic and love never go hand in hand. We fall for someone who we shouldn't have looked twice at.
"So, tonight?" Tyler leaned near Tracey's locker, "Are you coming?"
"I don't know," Tracey put her books away, "I'm not really a drinker."
"Neither am I," Tyler grinned, "But you know, we could go together, laugh at some people. Just have a good time."
Tracey returned his smile, "You would watch out for me?"
"Scout's honor."
Tracey laughed, "Okay, give me the address and I'll show up."
"Great," Tyler picked up his bag and through it over his shoulder, "I'll see you in a couple of hours."
We choose to do stupid things, but we are never smart enough to think about the future. We don't choose the outcomes yet we always have to live with the aftermath of our decisions.
The party was packed.
It seemed like every Degrassi student was at Glen Martin's house. There were beer bottles and wine coolers on the floor and in the room towards the back, a couple of seniors had brought out a bong. Several couples were making out on the couches, stairs, anywhere that was available.
Aidan and Cam looked around. Aidan was on his third beer while Cam was holding a wine cooler, interested more in just holding it than actually drinking. Aidan thought the party was awesome while Cam subtly clung to his friend as they navigated through the crowd before finally finding a somewhat comfortable space with a perfect view of the front door. They were still trying to locate the rest of their friends.
"Hey, there's Tyler and Maggie," Cam pointed out before waving them over. Maggie was instantly passed a drink (girls drank for free) while Tyler ignored the drinks being pushed in his direction. He seemed more interested in looking for someone.
"Who are you looking for, Ty?" Aidan asked before finishing his third beer and instantly looking for another. He had an amused smile and his eyes were slightly glazed over. Cam and Tyler exchanged a glance.
One of them was going to have to take him home.
"Just a friend," Tyler explained.
"Join the club," Aidan sighed, "I've been looking for Seth and Sirius for the past half hour. They apparently got here hours ago, but no one has seen them."
Almost on cue, Seth stumbled towards them. His eyes were bloodshot and he smelled of smoke.
He grinned at his friends before throwing his arms around Aidan and Tyler, "Hey, Ty, glad you could make it."
Aidan rolled his eyes, "Dude, you're high as hell."
"So?" Seth laughed, "It's Friday. I have no plans for tomorrow."
"Have you seen Sirius?" Aidan asked.
"Uh… he was somewhere…" Seth shrugged before grabbing a beer from the table, "I don't know."
"Well, he's no help," Tyler moved away from Seth, "I'm going to try and find Sirius. I'll be back."
"Try and find Nadia too," Aidan added, "I think she's here with Austin."
As Tyler disappeared, Maggie put her now empty drink down and Aidan instantly handed her another. She gave him a questioning glance and he shrugged, "It's on the house."
"So, Campbell," Seth grinned in Cam's direction, "See any girls you like?"
Cam flushed and shrugged, "I don't know."
"Ah, don't worry, we'll find you someone," Seth laughed before flicking Cam's wine cooler, "Drink faster, man."
"Hey, there's Tracey," Maggie said much louder than necessary, her cheeks flushed, "Tracey!"
The dark-haired girl spotted them before walking over, "Hey Maggie." She then eyed Seth who was now ruffling Aidan's hair playfully, "Seth."
Seth turned to face her and grinned, his eyes brightening, "Bingo."
When we make the wrong choice, we blame ourselves – even though at the time, it was what was right.
"Austin! Austin! Will you please talk to me?" Nadia followed her boyfriend who was ducking through crowds as though trying to avoid her. This dance had been going on for about ten minutes and Nadia's patience was running thin. Finally she reached out and grabbed his arm, turning him to face her, "Austin!"
Austin looked around before mumbling, "Here, let's talk somewhere privately."
The two ducked outside where a couple of partygoers were lounging on the grass. It was as private as you could get in a place like this.
Nadia sighed before looking up at Austin, "Austin, what's going on?"
Austin looked away, "We need to talk – about… about everything that has happened."
"I know that," Nadia whispered, "I've been trying to talk to you. I've been calling you all day."
"I'm sorry."
Nadia smiled weakly, "It's fine. Just talk to me now."
"Not about that," Austin finally stared at her, "I'm sorry about making you get the abortion. It was the wrong decision."
"Oh," Nadia paused, "But Austin, I…"
"It was the wrong decision and I shouldn't have told you to do that," Austin repeated, "And now I feel so guilty. I… I think about it and I feel sick to my stomach. And…"
"And…?" Nadia pressed.
"And I look at you and I feel disgust," Austin said bitterly, "I feel disgust that you got an abortion and I know I was the one who told you to do that, but… but I didn't think it would feel this way."
"Austin," Nadia looked down, "I…"
"This isn't going to work anymore," Austin said, "I don't want to hate you, but if we stay together… I can't even look at you. I don't think I can love you anymore."
"But Austin…"
Austin walked away.
"I'm sorry."
We choose to ignore the things that we may not want to accept. We choose to not choose.
Sirius stumbled around the party, searching for Seth or any of the others. Instead, all he found was more drunk freshmen and a couple of passed out bodies. He and Seth had arrived together hours before, but they had separated almost immediately. Seth had gone to the back to throw in for the bong and he had instantly joined the beer bong table.
Sirius headed to Glen's room where someone had said they saw Aidan head and opened the door.
There are a lot of things you want to see in your life, but Sirius knew this wasn't one of them.
He stammered in a way completely unlike him and shut the door, his skin flushed.
He definitely did not want to see one of his best friends with their shirt off, lying on top of a plastered Maggie Hollingsworth.
Aidan was going to have an interesting hangover come morning.
"Sirius!" Sirius turned as Tyler called his name and they nudged through the crowd to get to one another's side. Tyler took in Sirius's shocked expression, "What's going on?"
"Nothing… nothing… just… just don't go into that room," Sirius grinned sheepishly before throwing an arm around Tyler, "So have you found Seth or the others?"
"Yeah, Seth and Cam are over here," Tyler led his drunk friend back towards the stairwell, but froze in the hallway.
Tracey was on Cam's lap and their lips were locked.
Seth was leaning against the wall, grinning.
Life is all about choices though. The choice to love or to hate. The choice to accept or deny. And come morning, you have to live with your decisions.
Seth hung outside of Glen's house, a joint in between his lips as his grinned at the upper classman. Last night was a good night.
Aidan woke up in Glen's bed and rolled over, his eyes widening as he saw Maggie Hollingsworth sleeping next to him, wearing only her bra. What the fuck? He was never drinking again.
Nadia lied in her bed, the tears rolling down her face as she thought about everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. All the choices and all the lies and everything had changed. She hadn't even been given the chance to explain.
Austin thought about Nadia, wondering if he made the right choice. He knew that the wrong choice was the first one he had made, but last night, what he said to Nadia, he had to believe he had done the right thing.
Tyler sat on his roof, wondering where Maggie was. He needed someone to talk to. It was stupid to believe that he could just be a normal guy and be in a normal relationship. Biological men would always win. It was a stupid dream.
Cam looked at his phone and saw that Tracey had texted him again. He thought about Seth had more or less forced them to do more than enough shots and then he remembered where that had led. Was this a good idea?
So many choices and only one life.
"How serious is it?"
"Much more serious than we originally thought."
"Can you operate?"
"We could try, but the risks are too great. You could end up paralyzed or…" Dr. Alli Dallas looked away, "I'm going to recommend you to another neurologist. Get a second opinion."
"Don't bother," He smiled weakly, "We've been friends for years. I know how good of a doctor you are. You're one of the best in the world. If you say the tumor is inoperable than it is."
"You shouldn't trust me so much…" Alli sighed, "I make mistakes too."
"Not about this. And especially not about a friend. I know you, Alli, and you would have checked this dozens of times before calling me in," He smiled again although this time it seemed force and she thought she could see tears in his eyes, "I trust you."
The two sat in silence.
"How long?"
"At best? Nine months."
"At worst?"
"Two months."
"Oh," He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "That sucks."
"Should I call someone? A family member?"
"No," His voice was firm and it was the first time that he seemed to have a strong emotion about this. Ever since they first found the tumor, two months ago, he had made jokes or tried to lighten the situation. "No one can know about this. Alli, swear to me."
"There's going to be signs soon. If something happens, someone needs to know."
"No one can. They would… they would treat me differently. I don't want to worry them."
"They have a reason to be worried!"
"Alli," He sighed, "Swear to me."
"Fine," She looked at him and nodded, "You are my patient and I won't say anything. But you should."
"I don't want my last few months to be filled with concern and panic. I want to spend time with everyone as though nothing has changed." He stood and grabbed his coat, throwing it over his shoulder, "Thank you, Alli."
As he left, Alli watched him go, tears in her own eyes, "Everything is going to change."
What do you choose?
Author's Note: Not a big fan of this chapter. I might go back and rewrite it at a later date, but this chapter is really what is going to initiate all the main problems of the story and all the main points that I wanted to get across have gotten across. So leave me a review and tell me your opinions on Austin, Nadia, and the abortion; Aidan and Maggie; the Tyler, Cam, and Tracey triangle; and especially the final part. Who has a brain tumor? Who has a risk of dying? All will eventually be revealed.