Estoy Enamorada de mi Hermano

(I'm in love with my brother)

Oh, loves, Princess Lenore wants to finish this as soon as possible so updates are fast. Yipee!

A/N: Tsuna refers to Reborn as Mano all the time. The speaker is Tsuna. Whole sentences or dialogues in Italics mean that the characters are speaking in a different language (Author would emphasize whether German). Single words in Italics denote emphasis or foreign words. Reborn's original name in this fic is Miguel. Words inside parentheses in Italics denote Tsuna's musings. Same words in parentheses not in Italics indicate the author's notes.

Oh drats, this Tsuna is badass! Oh warning! Warning! The later parts contain mild sexual references and things of that sort. *wink*

IV. CAPITULO QUATRO: Un Estrangero Guapito

I sat tiredly on a bench. Seriously, I began to envy the enthusiasm Enma had during the enrollment days. I had always dreamed of becoming a successful businessman in the future but I could not comprehend my cousin's crazy grin when he got his hands on a modest looking plastic card identifying him as an accountancy student. When I told him frankly that I thought he was just overly excited, he dismissed me and declared proudly that "The accounting profession is the backbone of all institutions in the world! Without accounting, the destruction of mankind is imminent! Accounting is the beacon of deliverance that would save humanity from the darkness of financial ignorance!" and many more paragraphs of the same. He was that dedicated.

I sighed. My classes would start in an hour (my fault for being too punctual) and I was terribly bored. Even the finance textbook I was reading did not dissipate my boredom that I placed my bookmark on the current page I had been reading and closed it. I looked around trying to see something amusing when I happened to catch the blue-green eyes of a slender, golden-haired foreigner passing by. My first reaction would have been to smile, stand up and introduce myself but I was stopped by the presence of Hibari walking beside the guy. I chuckled to myself amusedly thinking that this was what Mukuro had told us about.

They were already out of sight when I realized I have had experienced an instant attraction. Perhaps, if only Hibari were out of the picture, a relationship with such an attractive guy might help me forget my feelings for mano. I bit my lip, embarrassed with my own thoughts. Was I that desperate that I would think of using an innocent bystander in my desire to forget the incestuous emotions towards my brother that I had been harboring for years? Ah...what incestuous? Mano and I had no blood relations whatsoever so –

"Juudaime! So good to see you here!"

The hard slap on my back and Gokudera's talkativeness brought me my normal senses back. Thank goodness, I had been thinking too much that I did not realize my classes had started. I allowed my friend to lead me to the lecture room. (We had the same course.) The discussions happened to be interesting from start to finish that I was so enamored I actually managed to get mano out of my head for a while. At last I have become as inspired as Enma, I would not envy my cousin's enthusiasm anymore. The lecture must have penetrated my brain too deep that I walked straight into someone without realizing it, had not someone else told me so.

"Bump into him again and I'll bite you to death."

"I'm sorry, Hibari-san," I murmured rather absent-mindedly until I caught the blue-green stare that had captivated me earlier.

As I gawked, the foreigner turned to his Japanese companion, perhaps for translation for my stern former-classmate hastily said in German, "He's saying sorry to me but not to you."

"Ah, how could you interpret it differently, Herr Hibari?" I pretended to jokingly scold a surprised Kyouya. Thank mano, German was one of the languages he had drilled most cruelly into my head that it left an indelible print. I smilingly turned to the pretty gaijin who smiled back just as prettily. I held out my hand. "I'm Tsunayoshi Sawada. Nice to meet you."

A warm hand took mine and the foreigner replied, "Likewise. My name is Spanner von Vichenstein."

"Great. I was thinking of beer. Can you join me?"

Spanner looked at me thoughtfully not missing the obvious glint in my eyes. "I was thinking of the same thing."

"Wow, that was great," Spanner remarked embracing loosely the pillow he rested his head and torso on.

"Yeah," I affirmed with a smile he didn't see. I saw him for the first time this morning. At the end of the same day, we ended up in bed in some obscure love hotel somewhere. How messed up was that?

He hummed tracing a finger on my sweaty shoulder. "I have always thought that all Asians are conservative, especially the Japanese. It's only now that I realized how wrong I was."

"And did it please you that I proved you wrong?" I asked catching his fingers and sucked them on my mouth the way he had expertly sucked my…oh well.

"Yeah," he said laughing. "Stop it, hey!"

"Can we do it again?" I asked still gripping his hand which felt as velvety soft as the skin on his thighs and legs and arms and, ah, perhaps all of him.

"Sure," he replied, "but maybe next time. Right now I can't. I'm as tired as hell."

"Perhaps I'll have you down a bottle of energy drink next time," I said looking at the ceiling curiously painted with roses.

My words made him laugh harder so that he now lay on his back the way he did when I pushed my…on his…wow. "I didn't know the Japanese are 'this' energetic," he murmured drowsily. And then he was quiet. I chuckled. He had fallen asleep.

I rose on my elbows and pulled a blanket to cover his nakedness with which he had forgotten in his exhaustion. Who would not be exhausted? We had been in this room for like five hours. That was how fascinated we were with each other. Looking at him now lying fast asleep would bring to mind a beautiful prince in some Western fairy tale. That was what he was, a beautiful stranger. I leaned to give him a gentle kiss on the forehead in appreciation to the satisfaction he gave me. My elbows finally gave way. I sank deep into the soft mattress and drifted into a contented sleep.

The following night and the night after that and the other nights after, we were on the hotels of different sorts, Spanner and I. I was anxious to get into his pants thinking I could forge a relationship that would make me forget my mano's desirability. Spanner was an adventurous fellow and loved experimenting with positions of all sorts but no matter how satisfied he left me, I always felt guilty afterwards for it seemed like I was just using him for my own selfish purposes (I did not feel guilty about destroying Hibari's hopes with regards to him at all). I feared I might hurt him in the end…or so I thought. Spanner thought otherwise.

It was one of those nights when we just lay together quietly and did nothing sensual. He was staring outside the window and the faint glow of the lampshade made him look more ethereal than usual. I decided that two months of being just casual sex partners was a little bit unfair to him. I was thinking that he was giving me his all and that he deserved a level up, something which I could not grant him, unfortunately. I decided to end our relationship on grounds that I could not have strong enough feelings for him. When I told him about what I thought about us, he eyed me in surprise.

"Excuse me? What relationship?" He left me gaping. So…was I the only one who thought we had a relationship? "Look you," he stated matter-of-factly, "I never said anything about having a relationship and neither did you so I assumed that we were just having fun. No strings attached." Then he shrugged in disappointment when he saw the tears of relief forming on my eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were the emotional type."I jumped at him and hugged him in a burst of gratitude. "Hey, what on earth is wrong with you? Get off me!"

I did not mind his complaints or his hand pulling my hair rather painfully. I was only grateful that I did not hurt somebody's feelings for the sake of my own craziness for that was what mano had taught me, never to sacrifice somebody else's welfare for my own as much as is within my power. "Spanner-san, you're the best!"

Spanner proved to be an attentive listener just as he was an attentive partner in bed and he was someone who spoke with easy confidence that I ended up confiding everything about my entire life and my problem with regards to mano. He rested a cheek on one hand and chuckled. "You're strange. How could you say you were in love when you hadn't had sex with the person?"

"I don't know," I sighed. Honestly, I really didn't.

Spanner was silent for a while then said, "You said you were orphaned at a very early age, right? Perhaps you were projecting a fatherly image on him, or a motherly image since you told me he was very affectionate."

"Would you want to have relations with your parents? That's absurd," I replied.

"No, I didn't mean it that way," he said gently. "I meant that you might have wanted all of his affection, his attention, the way a child would crave for parental love and your psyche is confusing that desire with a desire for sexual relationship with him." It was a very sound point of view. He was not a psychologist (he was a Mechanical Engineering student) but it was as though he was. "Maybe he reminds you of someone you are very fascinated with, a celebrity you admire or a childhood crush you never got over with and you are projecting it to him unconsciously in your fantasies."

Perhaps he was right, but I couldn't think of anyone I was very fascinated with other than mano and Spanner himself, although my interest in him remained just what it had always been, in bed, and without any emotional attachments.

"Can you show me a picture of him?" he asked. I acquiesced. I took the large pendant of an ancient star-shaped necklace I have worn since I was a child and opened it to show a picture of me and mano grinning during my high school graduation. Spanner studied it very carefully. "You said he's a lawyer?"

"Yeah. What of it?"

"You better tell him everything right now or you'd have a hard time explaining to him afterwards. Lawyers are good logicians and very hard to argue with. If you don't confess your feelings to him as early as possible, later he will find out by himself and he would think you have deceived him for a long time. It would be very difficult to convince him otherwise. The worst scenario I could imagine is that he would disown you and your brotherhood would be broken."

He was being brutally frank. He smashed everything right on my face and yet I couldn't be angry with him for he spoke truth. As we checked out of the hotel the following morning, I thought deeply about Spanner's advice. Perhaps I should tell mano everything? I decided to get a second opinion.

Yay! Another long one. Oh well...

Please don't forget to review after reading. Please... *puppy eyes, puppy eyes*