We stared at eachother for a moment, not sure what to say. It didn't feel awkward, it was slightly...comforting. He slowly reached around and opened my door without losing eye contact. I sighed and sat down in the seat, Jacob was already in the car and starting it up before I could close the door.
He drove a bit before he finally spoke, "I know how I feel about you, Nessie."
I whipped my head around to stare at him waiting for him to continue.
"I know what I want. Do you though? You know that...I imprinted on you."He said sternly before carrying on, "You have and always will be everything I need but we have all the time in the world and I don't want you feeling pressured into is it that you want - I mean, how do you feel about me?"
I watched the way his hands tightened around the steering wheel and how his jaw would flex when he spoke. It was like he wasn't sure if he should be saying it or not. My heart fluttered at his words. He would be with me if I wanted. It's what he wants. He is what I want but as soon as he asked me how I felt my mind froze. It was like I didn't have thoughts, just an intense rush of feelings. I couldn't put what I was feeling into words and I sat there with my mouth slightly open and staring at his hands like a fool. It felt like there was a tug at my chest telling me to do something. Before I could he let his face fall for a brief second then replaced with a smile.
"When you know how you feel, I'll be here." He looked at me and smirked,"Considering I have to see you every day."
I smiled at him and held out my hand, he looked at it as he interwined his fingers with mine.
"So Charlies' getting married at the lake. Even though there's an entire beach...he chose a lake." I said with a feigned annoyance.
Jake chuckled and rolled his eyes, "He's probably going to go fishing as soon as he kisses the bride."
"I heard you were a groomsman." I teased.
He glared at me as the car jerked to stop. I hadn't even noticed we were home. "And theres a rumor going around that you're a brides maid."
"At least I know how to dance." I quipped before opening the car door and flying out into the woods. I heard him coming up behind me and I pushed myself harder. Right before I got to the walkway of the cottage I skidded to a stop and spun around. Jacob had to nearly throw himself to the side to avoid hitting me. I expected him to fall down but instead his arms wrapped around me plucking me from the ground.
"I totally beat you." I giggled as he sat me down.
"I let you win."
"No I caught you off guard." I turned and walked to the door.
"I still let you win."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jacob. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Ness."
I felt my smile fall a bit before I turned and walked up the steps. I opened the door but I couldn't make myself walk in. The weight was already crushing against my chest. With a deep breath I stepped inside and closed the door behind me without looking back, it would hurt to bad if he wasn't still there.
"Well you're late." Dad said, grinning so I would know he wasn't mad.
"I know. I'm sorry, I was just having a really good time. I'm exhausted." I huffed, running my hand through my hair.
"That's what matters." Mom said softly. "Go rest, sweetie. You can make up our lost time by going hunting with us one day this week.
Oh, Hunting. Yeah I needed to do that. I often forgot, well obviously I couldn't forget but I neglected it. And the longer I went without blood, the weaker I got. My hand went up to my throat which suddenly felt a little scratchy.
"We definately will soon." Daddy added probably noticing me holding my throat.
"I'm going to go lie down. I love you guys."
"Goodnight, love." They chimed in unison then laughed at their selves, I couldn't help but smile.
Once I got into my room I walked into my closet and quickly stripped down replacing the day's clothes with my silk pajamas. A few years ago they renivated the house making it a little bigger, adding me a huge closet and a small kitchen beside the living room that could pretty much fit into my closet. I plopped down in front of one of the drawers that ran along the bottom of the back wall. This drawer held all of my memorabilia, pictures, jewelry, letters, anything that ever mattered enough to keep when we cleaned the house out every year. My and Bella's birthday was a little over a month away and in the morning I planned to go to Port angeles and meet a young well-known painter and have him paint my family's portrait for my mother. Thinking about it reminded me that I need to tell daddy.
I inhaled deeply and focused letting my thoughts out of their protective bubble.
Tomorrow I'm going to meet the painter in port angeles.
Only a second later my text message ring sounded and I smiled as I unlocked my phone to read it.
It read: "By yourself? Why not take Jacob or Alice with you. It'll make me feel better."
Jacob has all of that pack-hoo-ha business in the morning and Alice...well if I take her I won't make it out of town until sun down. I thought.
It went off again - ' Be careful.'
I locked my phone and closed the drawer leaving out the picture I needed for tomorrow.
I sauntered over to my bed and crawled in.
The space beside me felt too cold, too empty, I felt alone. That space was meant for Jacob. It always had been and I didn't know it. The longest Jacob and I had been apart was three days and it was absolute torture. I had just entered my teenage stage and I threw an absolute fit. When he was gone while I was a child it felt like a piece of my life, a piece of me was missing but lately when he was gone for an extended amount of time I felt empty. I knew that he was out there though. Every night he would turn and circle the property a few times until he deemed it safe enough for me to be here. The ache in my chest was making itself known. To have the one who I could always depend on for everything and understood me. It was the ache to have my other half beside me. I nesteled down into my covers and held my pillow. Why couldn't I say these things to him when they mattered the most?
************insert time lapse from night to morning righttttttttt nowwwwww*************
After making a cover story of where I was going and why I was out the door. I knew how to drive, I had actually learned years ago but just recently have I been able to actually drive drive on the road, I decided to take Rosalie's BMW. Rain drops were just beginning to fall from the sky and Autumn was already in the air and it gave me an excuse to wear my favorite cotton grey trench coat. It was so relaxing with the roads clear and up beat classical music playing on the back speakers.
It wasn't a very long drive, the little shop was fairly easy to find. I carefully parallel parked in front of the store-which is something I have not yet mastered- and ran underneath the overhang of the building. When I opened the door the bell sounded notifying whoever was in the shop that I was here. The small store smelled strongly of paint, it had a very boho vibe to it and there was something weird burning in the corner. All of the paintings were beautiful, each one different; some with a naturistic feel, others portraying an Andy Warhol style.
"May I help you?" A deep voice asked, pulling me away from the painting I was looking at.
I turned to find a young man gazing curiously at me. I smiled and spoke, "Hi! My name is Renesmee. I called a few days ago about having a portrait done and a woman recommend for me to come down here to look for a...um...Riley?"
A huge grin spread across his face as he held out his hand, "It's Ryan- I mean I'm Ryan." He had a slight british accent.
I shook his hand."Oh, I'm so sorry. Hi Ryan, can you help me?"
"Of course I can. Step into my office." He said gesturing to a small round table. He pulled my chair out for me before taking a seat across from me. "Do you have a picture for me? Or am I looking at my model right now?"
I felt my cheeks heat up. I wasn't used to dealing with people, especially men. I retrieved the picture from my bag and slid it across the table to him. "Is it okay?" It was a picture of my mother, father, and I about two years ago. He didn't reply and seemed to be studying the picture...so I studied him.
He had very pale skin. I joked in my head that if I didn't know any better he could be a vampire. He had blonde hair that looked like it was styled perfectly to stand up. His eyes were blue with...orange accents. How queer, I had never seen eyes like his. He was skinny but had broad features and extremely high cheeks bones. When I first came in I noticed that he was very tall. Not as tall as Jake but still tall.
"Is it okay?" I repeated.
He seemed to snap out of his own thoughts and looked up at me resembling a deer in headlights before he regained focus and smile kindly at me.
"Is this you as a child? You have a very beautiful family to say the least."
"Yes, it's me. Thank you. I'm sure that they would be flattered to hear that."
He hesistared a moment before speaking again, "How long have you lived in this area?"
"My whole life. Born and raised here." I chided.
"Where did you go to school?"
I narrowed my eyes slightly, I had to remembed that this was just normal chit chat for humans but to my family it was prying.
"Not to be rude or anything, Ryan, but aren't we here to discuss a painting?"
He swallowed hard but redeemed himself with a cocky smile, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get off topic. I would love to do this portrait for you, it's not every day I get to work with someone so beautiful. Not only that but it would be as easy as breathing to do it."
I raised my eyebrows and couldn't help but to smile at his attempts to flirt with me. We went over the hues I wanted, the size of the portrait, the prices and finally the date which I would need it.
"Are you open on Sundays? I can just drop by and pick it up while I'm in town." I offered.
"Well yeah we are but I'm usually not here and I would like to be the one to hand it over. Could I talk you into meeting me over coffee to pick it up? We can exchange numbers so we can keep in touch until it's done." He held out his phone to me and I was confused for a second before I realized that he wanted me to put my number into his contacts.
I know that I have to be careful just giving out information and making friends. I glanced from his phone up to his arrogant smirk and sighed with defeat then took his phone.
"I don't like coffee. I'll come pick up my painting while you drink coffee by yourself, though." I stated as I entered my number into his phone.
"Fiesty." He said with a toothy grin. I handed him his phone back and got up from the table. I waved goodbye before walking away. Once back in my car my phone buzzed and I opened it to a text that read, testing, testing 1 2 3.
I could already tell he's not a person I wanted to deal with on a regular basis.
When I arrived home is a was a quarter past noon and the house was stirring. There were more cars here than when I left. It looked like Leah, Sue,and Rachel were here. As soon as I walked in I was bombarded by Aunt Alice.
"The dresses and tuxes are here!" She squealed, dragging me by my hand before I could even hang my coat on it's respectable hook letting it fall on the floor. I have to admit I was pretty excited to try mine own and see everybody else in their dress. To be honest we are just lucky that the dresses aren't camoflauge and covered in gills like Charlie would have wanted.
Alice yanked me into our design room. Sue and my mother were sitting on the sofa while Leah and Rachel emerged from the changing room modeling the dresses. The brides maid dresses were elegant and flowing, they were tan with a corset top neckline with spaghetti straps and a cut out lace back. It looked so beautiful with their skin tone. The inner Alice in my couldn't help but to let out a little squeal. The dresses were as beautiful as we had hoped.
I could see the pain on Leah's face, this must be killing her. Sue looked extremely happy though and that's what matters. Leah knew that, too.
"Nessie and Bella's turn now!" Alice insisted as she thrust a dress at me. I willingly went to the changing room with my mom.
"I don't think I've asked you yet. What do you think about all of this?" I asked mom.
"All of what?" She replied.
"Grandpa getting married. You seem happy for him but I haven't talked to you about it."
"I'm estatic for him, sweetie. He needs someone to take care of him."
She turned to me and fastend my dress then pulled my hair out from underneath the dress, placing it on my shoulders. We met eyes in the mirror in front of us.
"Not to be too motherly or anything but you've grown up so fast. You're everything I could have asked for, my little nudger."
I turned and hugged her tightly. I couldn't ask for a better family, I couldn't ask for a better life.
"I am who I am because of you, Mom. Just because I'm in a dress for grandpa's wedding doesn't mean anything." I squeezed her arm tightly before she walked out. I heard "ooo's" and even a cat call, Emmett must be up here.
I cleared my throat before I strutted out and twirled, everyone laughed and clapped. I went to stand beside my mom, Rachel and Leah. We were all lined up for "inspection." Alice stood in front and stared at every one of us up and down. She plucked at my dress and made me hold my arms up then spin before allowing me to go sit beside Sue, Rachel followed after me. Apart from Sue who had a glass of wine in her hand, we all sat motionless watching "Scary Alice" ,as Jacob would call her, tug at Leah's dress.
"We need to bring it in around your chest a little bit...possibly around your waist a little too." She noted.
Leahs eyes narrowed and I pressed my lips together tightly to keep from laughing but failed miserably and ended up causing Rachel and Sue to bust out into laughter as well.
"Can it, Hybrid!" Leah hissed, just causing me to laugh even harder.
Alice pinned her and my mother's dress in a few places then sent them back to the dressing room to remove it, shouting after them to be careful. She then motioned for Rachel and I to get back up. Rachel saluted her once she was in her place and I snickered.
"You two need to be about the same height because you'll be standing beside eachother. Since Leah is tall and insists upon having you, Renesmee, beside her you'll have to wear high heels resulting in you, Rachel, having to wear heels." Alice stated. Rachel groaned.
She stared at us a second more before clapping, "You're all going to look amazing! This is glorious I just - Oh! The boy's are here. Ladies! Come over to your side of the room."
My breath caught in my throat, for a second I couldn't remember how to breath. This is how I die isn't it? I focused my hearing and surely enough I could hear Jacob, Seth, and Edward coming up the steps. The weird tugging feeling on my chest was suddenly front and center. The thought of Jacob in a suit consumed my thoughts. How long have I not been breathing? I inhaled deeply and his woodsy scent filled my nostrils. I looked up to find a pair of dark brown eyes locked on me. I felt... relieved? The tenison in my chest turned to warmth and a smile spread across my face. I took a few steps forward and wrapped my arms around his thick neck as his arms locked behind me. It was just a reflex for me every time I saw him. It did seem like he was hugging me a bit longer than normal. I made myself let my arms fall and only when my feet returned to the ground did I realize he hadn't bent down but picked me up instead.
"Ness!" Alice called. I blushed a little when I realized I was still in my dress. I smiled sheepishly before retreating to the dressing room to change back into my leggings and peach short sleeved sweater dress. When I returned Alice was already handing the guys piles of clothing to put on, all of them looked confused except for daddy. Seth gave me a huge smile and I began to go give him a hug until I recalled what Leah had told me and settled with a small smile and wave. Seth was still one of my closest friends, and nothing would change that.
"Jacob and Seth go put on your pants and shirt then I'll come help you with the rest." Alice instructed.
Billy was Charlie's best man, but theres was no reason to make him suffer through all of Alice's antics when he his disabled. Actually, no one should have to suffer through her antics. I watched for a minute or two just trying to stay out of Alice's way before she spoke to me, "Ness, go help Seth and Jacob. Leah and I are going to help Sue with her things."
I shot Rachel a nervous glance and she looked away clearly not up to replacing me. I let out a annoyed huff and snatched up the garments and walked into the dressing room.
"Hey! I could have been naked!" Jake gasped covering himself with his arms and Seth chuckled. I rolled my eyes.
"Ugh! You're right. I wouldn't want to see that." I mocked.
"Burnnnnn." Seth said. Jacob shot him a glare then turned away to face himself in the mirror.
"Okay..." I began, " You actually get a choice in this. Bowtie or tie? I'm personally a fan of bo-"
"Tie" Jacob said, at the same time Seth said,"Bowtie".
Alrighty then. I sat down the tie and walked over to Seth. He squatted down and held his head up ridiculously high so I could tie it. We both laughed and Jacob sighed, I instantly felt bad. When I was done I went over to the door and opened it trying to politely find a way to get Seth to leave. He was done after all.
Jacob turned around to face me and I looked up at him. I felt my heartbeat pick up, at the same time he smiled. Could he hear that well?
"Sorry but you have to wear the cummerbund." I said with the pouty tone I knew he was about to have.
"Are you kidding me?! C'mon on, Ness. No. You aren't putting that thing on me." He said dodging my every attempt to get it on him.
"Do you want Alice to behead me? We both know you wouldn't know your right hand from your left without me."
He took a step closer. "I wouldn't let her hurt you."
I felt like fainting.
"Please", I whispered. It seemed like something changed in his eyes then. He stared at me a moment longer before giving in.
Once it was on he put his jacket on then held out the tie to me. "I would try to but you would just make fun of me for it."
I smiled, I wanted to put it on him anyways. "Get short."
He rolled his eyes and bent his knees so I could place it around his neck.
"You looked really pretty in that dress. Not that you don't all the time."
Blood pooled in my cheeks and I focused to keep my breath steady.
"Thanks. But I wear dresses a lot. People are going to more impressed seeing Jacob Black in a suit."
"Well I guess its a good thing that you're my date then, right?"
My fingers froze and I slowly raised my eyes up to his. Date? His date? Please tell me he's not pulling some sick joke on me. No, he wouldn't do that to me. His eyebrows rasied. Crap. He noticed. I quickly redeemed myself by smiling widly and barely managed to choke out "I guess so."