-(don't) follow the white rabbit-

Lavi is the science division and graduated from the department of science from the academy, but he's also trained as a potential ranger. The thing is, he would love to be a pilot—he wants to, but Bookman is strongly against it.

He was allowed to be trained after months of begging but he was not allowed to graduate as a ranger, and more importantly, never to become an actual pilot. Bookman never answered him clearly on why he was bound to those terms, but during drift sync testing runs, he was never compatible with anyone enough to enlist as a pilot, so that was the end of his pilot dream anyway.

It is actually quite common that student rangers don't end up as pilots in the end. Within the academy they are pushed to their physical and mental limits to determine they will be able to make the cut, and those who do make the first cut are trained with the intention of breaking their spirit to mimic the harsh battle situations against the akumas. Lastly, only those who were lucky enough to find someone who was drift compatible enough to pass the ninety percent synchro rate could be pilots.

Drifting is a process that two Jaeger pilots have to undergo prior to synchronizing with the Jaeger itself, a type of Mind Meld that requires the pilots to share memories, instinct and emotions. Drifting allows them to act as one and control the very movement of the Jaeger itself, one pilot controlling the "right hemisphere", the other the "left hemisphere".

Hence most people enter the academy in pairs—siblings, relatives, lovers, partners—people whom they knew they were already compatible with.

Lavi doesn't have that privilege, considering his family is dead.

And he doesn't really remember who they are either.

"No," Bookman says to him as he clears up the papers from the desk, ready to retire for the night.

"I didn't say anything," Lavi grumbles, placing the last stack in place.

"You were thinking it."

"So you can read minds now, is that it?" the redhead pouts.

Bookman eyes him flatly. "You are not allowed to try out for Kanda Yuu's co-pilot position."

Lavi sighs. "Old man—"

"No means no, boy,"

"But—"

"No."

Lavi seethes with frustration. "God, just listen. Listen, okay?" he holds out a finger until Bookman rolls his eyes and nods. "I know you think I can't handle it, but I can. You've seen my simulation runs. I know I'm not…exceptional but I like to think I'm pretty fucking decent. Decent enough to have a chance."

Bookman shakes his head wearily. "You have no clue what the real thing is like," he looks at Lavi with a sad look in his eyes. "It's not worth it, Lavi. It won't change anything."

Lavi swallows and looks to the side. "It's—it's not about that."

"Really?" Bookman presses. "It's not for your dead parents? Your dead sister?" he shoots a hard gaze. "Your life?"

It takes a while before Lavi finds his words again. "I won't get it back, I know," he says, voice trembling. "I know."

"Listen to me, don't ever get into a Jaeger," Bookman sighs. "It's for your own good. But that aside, the key," he states, levelling Lavi with a look. "is drift compatibility. It doesn't matter how good you think you are. Kanda Yuu is not someone you find a partner, just like that. He was never drift compatible with any of the other pilots. There was only one person he could ever connect to, and that person is dead."

Technically, anyone can drift. But it's finding someone whom you could drift with was the problem. All pilots on a certain level could drift with each other because they knew how to do it consciously once they already done so. Compatibility depended on how well they could connect to the other person's mind. A matter of fit.

To find someone that was your custom-made? It was rare.

But not being able to drift at all with anyone else? Even rarer.

"Foolish boy, what makes you think you would be drift compatible with Kanda Yuu?"

Lavi may not be a pilot but he keeps up a little with the training regime because it keeps him fit, and it is an outlet to clear his mind after sitting in the room with Bookman and numbers the whole day. His favourite part takes place in the combat room, because there he learns that combat isn't just a physical workout—it was a conversation with you and your partner.

It is how through the bodies moving that one can tell how well two people could read each other and how much they trust each other—how well they complement each other by trading blows and deflecting them with the knowledge that they were on equal terms, holding the conversation and having a discussion. It was all about compatibility.

The redhead sits at the side lines in the combat room watching the on-going process in finding Kanda Yuu's co-pilot. Most of the other pilots are there to watch—there is really nothing else for them to do anyway, together with Komui and Bookman, and also the head of the technical division, Reever Wenham. He has already predicted that the next akuma attack was coming in a month and a half's time, hence technically he had already done his work, except for writing out all those smudged papers. Those he could do another day, he reasons, because watching Kanda Yuu on the mat was an incredible experience not to be missed.

His records state 55 drops and 55 kills while he was in training. It was mindblowingly scary, to be honest.

It seems like all the candidates know this, because all of them have a look of fear on their faces the moment that their feet steps on the mat. Lavi almost pities the next candidate because the bald headed youth is obviously not compatible in the slightest with Kanda Yuu.

Sure enough, it takes less than a second to have the candidate groaning on the floor in pain.

"You didn't have to break his back," Lenalee sighs, crossing out another name on the list.

"Find someone that won't give me the chance to," Kanda scowls, crossing his arms.

The long haired pilot glances over to the next one on the mat and growls, frustrated. "Next."

"Kanda!" Lenalee groans exasperatedly. "You haven't even fought him yet!"

"He isn't compatible," Kanda grinds out. "Next."

"But you haven't even tried—"

"If you're so intent on wasting my time," Kanda glares. "You," he faces the candidate with dark look. "Start."

In less than a second, the opponent is wincing on the floor, fingers twitching weakly.

Allen winces in sympathy. "This is going to be a very, very long process," he shakes his head.

Three days later, the list of candidates is trickling to the last few names and Lavi sees the look of resignation on Allen's face.

"There isn't going to be anyone, I knew it," the white haired male groans, cracking one eye open to see Kanda hover over the girl he was sparring with with a wooden stick pressed firmly to her jugular. "No one can beat him on the mat, except maybe Mr Sokalo, but that was a disaster we don't want to repeat."

"Then what about Alma Karma?" Lavi asks curiously as they both flinch from the next merciless hit that Kanda's next candidate takes.

"Don't say his name so loudly," Allen warns, eyes shifting carefully to Kanda. "Well, you know, compatibility…it's a conversation, remember? Even if someone can beat Kanda in combat, it doesn't mean it'll work out. Likewise, even if someone can't beat Kanda on the mat, it doesn't strictly mean they aren't compatible."

"But—"

"Alma is different because Kanda let him speak," Allen explains, voice low. "That isn't to say Alma couldn't hold his own, but if there was ever a fight to the death, Kanda would win it for sure," he smiles wryly. "But when they sparred, they moved together."

Lavi watches the next candidate hit the ground. "He isn't letting anyone speak, is he?" he says finally in defeat.

Allen nods. "On the up side," he says, resting his head on his knuckles. "That took fifteen seconds, instead of the usual ten. Maybe if we reach the end of the list we'll reach to thirty. Maybe."

"He's playing with them," the redhead watches blandly, suddenly grateful that his name wasn't on the list.

"Or maybe he's getting tired."

"You've piloted a Jaeger for hours on end, you think you'd be tired from just three hours on the mat?" Lavi rolls his eye, and Allen shrugs. "He's bored. See, he could've totally ended that two moves ago."

"Three days is enough for anyone to—"

Allen's rebuttal is silenced when a wooden stick suddenly clatters in front of them. All eyes are on Kanda who looks directly at Lavi.

"You. On the mat."

"W-what?" Lavi splutters.

"On the mat. Now," Kanda cocks his head, glaring.

"Dude, I'm not a candidate," the redhead protests, eye darting nervously to Bookman for help.

He does want to be a pilot, but Kanda Yuu's co-pilot? Bookman was right. Maybe an akuma was less scary.

"The boy isn't fit to be a pilot," Bookman puts in. "You will have to choose another."

Kanda faces Bookman flatly. "He has training, I know it. Get him on the mat," he stares at Komui who rubs the bridge of his nose.

"Kanda—"

"If you want to stop wasting your own time, get him to spar with me," Kanda states, impatient. "He can read my moves which is a step better than any of the other fucking useless candidates I've sparred with for the past three days. Get him," he grits out. "On the fucking mat."

Lavi picks up the wooden stick nervously, stepping onto the sparring arena. He isn't dressed for it—shirt and jeans, but it'll have to do. "Dude, you need to chill," he says, shaking his head. "I know you're frustrated but you shouldn't take it out on the others. If you want me so much, sure, but I—whoa, fuck!"

The redhead just manages to block the unexpected swipe that brings him to his knees. "What the hell! I wasn't ready!"

Kanda is looking down at him with an unreadable look in his eyes, but there is a twitch at his lips. "If you talked less, you would've seen that it has already begun."

Lavi grits his teeth and pushes Kanda back, adjusting his grip on the stick properly. He may not be at Kanda's level, but he isn't going down without a fight for sure. He understands why all his opponents have that fear in their eyes when they're on the mat against Kanda Yuu. It's because the man holds himself steady with the confidence that he knows he can take anything from you, and the way that his eyes train upon you leaves you exposed and vulnerable to all the moves that you had planned to take.

But Lavi is, if anything, unpredictable.

He moves first in the next strike, and Kanda parries it easily with one hand. Kanda's counter attack is fast and ruthless—Lavi doesn't get a chance to catch his breath as he meets Kanda's hits blow for blow pushed backwards with the force. He tries to find an opening but Kanda's defence is tight—only when Lavi is forced to his knees again that he attempts a kick swipe. The move catches Kanda off guard, but in one smooth motion, the pilot rolls over and trips Lavi himself, swiping him by the neck with the hook of his leg and brings him down, hard.

"One-zero," Kanda says before letting go, and Lavi moans, hand on his back.

"Did you really have to do that?" Lavi sulks, picking up his stick slowly.

"I said less talk," Kanda warns, but the twitch on his lips is more noticeable now, like a smirk.

That's all the warning Lavi gets before he's forced to counter. Again, they move across the mat in rapid paces. If not for Lavi's ability to sense Kanda's movements—he's an incredibly observant person, it helps to have an eidetic memory—he would surely be on his back again, and he thanks god for that as he tries to attack instead of being on the defence all the time.

He tries to vary the speed of their swordplay but he realises Kanda matches it easily and brings it up to a level that he struggles with. Not wanting to be beaten, he keeps it up, and then Kanda exploits his weakness—his blind spot.

Not having one eye was a major disadvantage, but Lavi's been living with it for all his life, so he knows it when something's coming. He ducks just in time to see the look of surprise of Kanda's face, and using the opening to make an attack of his own.

"Two-zero," Kanda says again, and Lavi looks down at Kanda's stick pressed against his ribs.

Kanda had tossed his weapon to his other hand and attacked before Lavi could make his move.

"Too slow," Kanda says, a new glint to his eyes as he steps back, readying himself.

Lavi swallows, feeling heat creep up his cheeks. He has never sparred with anyone who could move like that. He grips his weapon tighter, breathing in deeply. Once, twice, and then he lunges towards Kanda, hard enough that he forces both sticks out of their hands. Not to be daunted, Kanda catches the punch that Lavi aims at him, using the redhead's body motion to push him to the ground.

Lavi is better at hand to hand combat than his sword fighting skills, but it seems like Kanda is not to be underestimated either. The redhead blocks the on-coming hits the best that he can, grappling to take Kanda down, except the other is annoyingly steadfast in his stance. But Lavi is slightly taller and heavier, and he tries to use this to pin Kanda down, except Kanda grabs his neck by the hook of his leg again and flips him over to the ground.

"Three-zero," Kanda grunts.

Lavi blinks dazedly at the ceiling, panting heavily. He sees Kanda peer over him for a second, and the man looks slightly annoyed.

"It's him," the pilot grumbles, stepping off the mat.

"Ow. Ow. Fuck—OW!" Lavi moans, flinching as Lenalee rubs at the bruise forming on the back of his head.

"Don't be a baby," Lenalee chides, patting the top of his head. "He didn't hit you that hard."

"But the floor did," Lavi mutters, squeezing his eye shut. "Ow," he whimpers again.

"That's Kanda for you," Allen says from his position on Lavi's bed, smiling. "Always so violent."

For some reason, Allen and Lenalee get on with him much easier than any of the other pilots around, probably because they were the closest to him in age, albeit younger. He doesn't know for sure if they're together—they sometimes act like it and they're almost inseparable, but there's the question of Komui. He doesn't want to ask, because he thinks he can figure it out. He likes figuring out things.

"It was incredible," Lenalee agrees, eyes shining. "I've never seen anyone but Alma move with Kanda like that."

"I got my ass kicked," Lavi says, confused.

"I told you it's not about being better at combat," Allen tilts his head. "You sparred with him for minutes. He let you spar with him three times."

"He tried to kill me three times."

"I think he kind of likes you," Lenalee chuckles.

Lavi jolts out of the seat in shock. "W-what?" he stutters, face starting to heat up. "No. No way."

Allen smirks and blinks at him slowly. "Lenalee didn't mean in whatever way you're thinking right now…you've got a crush on Kanda, Lavi?" then he sighs, resignedly. "Of course, everyone's got a crush on Kanda, even if his personality is as bland as cardboard."

"Allen," Lenalee rolls her eyes. "Kanda is fine. He's just—"

"—a little rough around the edges," Allen finishes. "I know. I know. But his face. I'll prove my point to you," he groans exasperatedly, turning to Lavi seriously. "Why do you like Kanda?"

"I never said I did!" Lavi huffs. "Even if I did," he starts. "He's an incredible pilot. When I was in training, Innocence Illusion's stats were fucking amazing. God, his Jaeger was like, a legend," Lavi recounts dreamily. "And when I was sparring with him, I thought I was going to die. In a good and bad way."

Allen taps his finger on his lap. "Do you think he's hot?"

"He's the most beautiful person I've ever seen," Lavi admits, and clicks his mouth shut right after.

"I told you," Allen sniffs. "It's his face."

"I don't know what point you're trying to make," Lenalee snorts, giving Lavi's bruise one last rub. "We should leave, anyway. Have a good rest, Lavi. It's a big day for you tomorrow."

"Drift sync testing right? It shouldn't be too bad—"

"Actually," Lenalee looks at him. "You're going to drift with him inside Innocence Illusion, not a simulation."

Lavi startles. Usually potential co-pilots would have their compatibility rates measured inside the simulation run before they were allowed to pilot a Jaeger. "W-why?"

"Even if the compatibility between you two is less than ninety percent, it doesn't matter. It's hard enough to find anyone that is even remotely compatible with Kanda on the mat. If there's a chance that Innocence Illusion can be piloted, we're taking it. It's just a little more than a month to the next akuma attack," Allen smiles wryly. "You two will need to get used to each other as fast as possible."

"I'm going to pilot Innocence Illusion," Lavi mumbles, shock clearly in his eye. "Fuck, I'm Kanda Yuu's co-pilot. How?"

"Don't freak out, Lavi," Lenalee pats his shoulder. "You're trained. Remember what you learned and it'll be fine. Drifting isn't so hard when you've found the right person," she says, sharing a fond look with Allen. "Just don't chase the rabbit."

During the Drift, Lavi remembers from his lectures in the academy, Pilots will lapse into silence. Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers (or R.A.B.I.T.) is an occurrence wherein one of the pilots latches onto a memory. Focusing on a single memory is discouraged while piloting a Jaeger. The emotions from the memory typically translate into actions for the Jaeger depending on the hemisphere the pilot is calibrated to. As a result, first time pilots and pilots in general are advised never to "chase the rabbit".

"Even if it's an embarrassing memory, don't cling on to it," she warns. "It's better to get it out in the open, and trust builds on from there. Your synchro rate will increase too."

"Right. Okay."

"We'll be there," Allen squeezes his shoulder. "Night, Lavi."

"Goodnight, kids," Lavi smiles, opening the door for them to leave.

He yelps when he meets Bookman standing the other side of it. "Hey, gramps," he starts awkwardly. "Allen and Lenalee were just leaving."

"Good night, Mr Bookman," Both of the pilots chorus, walking down the corridor hand in hand after.

Huh, so they are—

"Lavi," Bookman begins when he steps into his charge's room, and Lavi knows that if the conversation starts with his name, it's not going to be good. "You have to quit while you still can."

"I can't."

"You have to. You need to. Trust me, boy," Bookman sighs.

"I literally can't," Lavi repeats. "I'm the only one who could be drift compatible with Kanda. You know how much more advantage we have if we have Innocence Illusion. We need one more Jaeger, gramps," he swallows. "Or we're dead."

Bookman gives him defeated look. "Because this isn't about you."

"It isn't," Lavi says. "I promise it isn't."

It comes as a shock, but Bookman grabs him by the waist and embraces him tightly. "Don't chase the rabbit," Bookman croaks harshly. "Don't chase it. You hear me?"

"Yes," he swallows. "Yes."

A/N: I actually completed the fic which is 7 chapters in total, including a short epilogue, so I'll be updating this once a week or so. I also realised that this fic was just an excuse to write smut, so if the plot is thin, please don't kill me. It will get explicit, and I think I can tick write LaviYuu sex off my bucket list hahaha

These two will be the death of me sigh