Balance

So became my unlikely partnership with Kutsuriuri. He showed me his methods of defeating the Mononoke and his process of elimination as to the best methods. In his possession were a series of cloths painted, in his blood, with an all-seeing eye, as well as a sword with the symbol upon the hilt. He told me that he believed that the instruments needed the blood of the user upon them, and I corrected him in that it was not the user's blood, but the blood of an innocent. The sword he used much like I used my own, and the cloths he used much like Aia used his papers – a thought that nearly made me lose my self-control – though the cloths, due to their size, were bulky and difficult for him to handle. Thus I taught him the use of the papers, which he mastered quite easily and made more of with nearly every chance he got.

Our partnership was hardly ever strained when it came to accommodations. As a medicine seller, Kutsuriuri knew the feel of the land and thus never really needed to go into the market to buy food in order to sustain himself. Of course, I constantly worried about him; he was so thin and pale, and yet all he survived upon were the small animals he hunted and the plants he foraged for. This was quite helpful considering I could not stay near a high concentration of humans for very long; since my presence attracted Mononoke just as theirs attracted me, I did not want to endanger those humans. When it so happened that I needed to sleep, Kutsuriuri and I would part at a cave where I would sleep with the promise to meet up within a week, and Kutsuriuri would head off to town to sell his wares and restock on what provisions he did need that he could not find in nature. He was a very clever fellow; since I could not tell the passage of time while I slept, he set up a series of hourglasses connected with string so that when one ran out, only then would the next begin to run, and so on until all seven had run out. This way, if I woke before the week was up, I would not be unduly worried by his absence.

However, just as it had been with Aia, I struggled with how much I should let him fight alongside me. He was, incredibly, a very skilled warrior along with his medicinal trade, but I could not trust myself to put him in harm's way any more than I had trusted myself to put Aia in harm's way. Kutsuriuri fought me every step of the way, flat-out refusing to remain in any protective circle I tried to put him in and stepping out of it so many times that I eventually didn't even bother to coax him into one in the first place. I did, however, keep creating one for him each time for him to jump into should the need arise. That's the astounding thing about humans; they can walk through barriers of salt and not be harmed, and yet the Mononoke and I cannot pass through, even though the Mononoke are the souls released from a human body.

Kutsuriuri and I peaceably travelled the land for nigh on a year this way. He told me very little about his personal life and I reciprocated, and yet we still grew to trust each other. I felt gratified in the fact that I had a second warrior to watch my back as well as a companion to break the silence. Neither of us spoke of the possibility of our death, even though the Mononoke that we encountered grew steadily more numerous and difficult to defeat. I know that I would not have been able to take them on by myself, and for this I was thankful for Kutsuriuri.

However, I became more reckless in my fighting that I used to be. If it seemed that Kutsuriuri was in danger of being struck, I would race to block the attack with my own body; thus I accumulated more and more wounds because of my inability to see things that were beyond my control. I could see that this bothered Kutsuriuri, but I never broached the subject with him. Not only this, but the Mononoke began to seek us out more than ever before, striking us when we were vulnerable and trying to stay alive to spread the word to other spirits of Kutsuriuri's presence. We were able to kill any and all of the Mononoke that attacked us, but something about my changed aura drew them ever more frequently.

We were by a stream one day, resting and scavenging for some medicinal herbs that he needed to replenish, when he asked me a question. "Why is it that the Mononoke attack us so much more frequently as of late?"

I paused in my work, looking at the ground. "I do not know a more satisfactory answer than that the Mononoke are as attracted to my essence as I am to theirs, and since there are more and more Mononoke as of late, the attacks are hereby more frequent."

Kutsuriuri straightened, a pile of greens clutched in his long, slender fingers. "Is it possible to mask your essence with the essence of another? Perhaps a human being?"

I almost snorted…almost. Kutsuriuri saw my dubious expression and elaborated. "Mononoke are human souls that have been warped, correct? Therefore before the Mononoke actually become Mononoke, they are human souls masked within a human body. While alive, the soul and body are indistinguishable. You yourself told me once that you and the Mononoke are almost exactly similar in essence save for emotion; why would it not be possible to house your essence in a human body and therefore mask your essence until the Mononoke are lulled into a sense of security?"

I was startled and alarmed by the path his thoughts had taken. He had a habit of doing those sorts of things…startling me and catching me off guard with his mannerisms and maturity. "I had not thought about the possibility," I began, "but I am not sure if it is possible to house a soul or spirit within a body after it has been removed in the first place."

"But you were never removed from a human vessel in the first place," Kutsuriuri argued stubbornly.

I shook my head. "No, Kutsuriuri. I do not believe that it would be possible, let alone be the answer to our problems." Kutsuriuri did not answer me, and we returned to gathering his herbs in an awkward silence.

I felt bad for inadvertently offending Kutsuriuri, so I attempted to make small talk to mend the slight rift in our friendship. "So…how long have you been a medicine seller?"

Kutsuriuri paused. "Several years…if I am not mistaken, it is nearly seven years."

I decided to probe a little further. "What made you interested in medicine? You could have been a warrior; you have the skill and some of the training for it."

Kutsuriuri's face hardened, and I was momentarily afraid that I had, yet again, offended him. "Until you came along, I had only one method of saving people, and that was through medicine. I have always been more inclined to use medicine to save people; I dislike unnecessary violence. Yet now that I have become apprenticed to you, I will only use my sword now to destroy the creatures that threaten the existence of humanity." I smiled at his word choice in saying that he was "apprenticed" to me, and ducked my head to hide it.

Kutsuriuri, however, noticed my smile. "Why are you smiling?" he asked somewhat crossly, slightly offended at being the source of my amusement.

"You said that you are 'apprenticed to me'; I like to think that I have as much to learn from you as you do from me," I returned, turning my smile towards him. His gaze softened.

Turning back to the plants in front of me, I asked him, "What was your life like before our paths crossed?"

Kutsuriuri gave a small shrug. "I only ever grew up with a father; I do not remember my mother. While I was an only child, my father adopted many other boys in the area; I certainly was not a lonely child growing up. He encouraged all of us to study warrior training, and while all of my brothers embraced this lifestyle enthusiastically, I was more skeptical, preferring to study the ancient medicinal arts. My father eventually consented for me to study medicine so long as I studied the martial arts; I suppose he did this in the hopes of swaying me. However, things ended so that I became a medicine seller as I had originally hoped, and all of my brothers are warriors, now.

"My father and I did not part on good terms since I did not follow his wishes, and I have travelled the land as a medicine seller since I was eighteen. I have known of the existence of Mononoke – though for a long time I did not know their identity – since I was very, very little. It was my knowledge of them that led me to study the arcane arts. This I did not tell my father of; considering he was so against my studying medicine, he certainly would have been against my studying this. I have long wished for there to be a way for me to combat the Mononoke, which is another reason why I travelled the land. I searched for an answer, and I came across you." Here he smiled at me, which I returned.

"So you are – " here I paused for a moment to calculate his age in my head, " – twenty-five now?" Kutsuriuri nodded.

Next I made a motion towards his head. "The purple headscarf that you wear – where did you get it?"

He reached up and touched the scarf fondly. "A dear friend gave it to me when I was just a little boy." He laughed, a sound I had not heard before, and it was like the gentle spring breeze whispering through the cherry blossoms at that time of year. "I have kept it ever since."

It was a few more moments of silence before he asked me, "What has your life been like up until now?"

I was still for a few moments, unsure of whether I would be able to maintain my composure throughout my story. I knew that it had been twelve years since Aia's death, and yet the wound was still fresh…especially since Kutsuriuri reminded me so much of him. In the end, however, I took a deep breath and began my story.