Balance

I lay on the ground, half-paralyzed, as the Kihaku's poison spread through my veins, the journey as torturous as barbed honey. I could feel the anger infecting me, anger at its victory, anger at my failure, anger at the world, anger at the balance of things, anger at fate…moving my arm in an agonizingly slow fashion, I reached into my waistband for the vial of healing tonic, but I only felt my fingers slide against glass shards that cut through my skin. Feeling my failure subdue all hope, I realized that the Kihaku division from earlier had broken the vial; I was doomed to finally die.

I couldn't let it end like this.

Using every technique I knew, I flooded my body with peace and tranquility, driving the anger from my veins and thoughts. I forced myself not to feel anger or fear, using my focus to cleanse the poison of anger, though I could not counter its effects. Pain spiked in my brain, and I saw sparks shoot across my sight as I watched the Kihaku collapse and try to regenerate itself. Gasping for breath, I closed my eyes and completely severed all hold on my life, using everything I had to lift my sword and plunge it into the Kihaku's back.

I heard it give one final scream, and then we both exploded into a myriad of colors and were sucked through the portal that was the dragon's maw.

It was like the facets of a diamond, sparkling with moments that winked past and blurred into other images. I had no peripheral vision because I could see everywhere at once. I had no need to process colors and sounds because I just knew. I knew the past, I knew the present, I knew the future.

I felt something brush my consciousness, and if felt familiar, oh, so familiar…Languidly, I turned my attention to this presence, and shock passed through my thoughts as I beheld Kutsuriuri standing before me. The visions faded into a soft yellow glow as I looked at his familiar colorful kimono, his torn blue leggings, his soft purple headscarf, and his pale face with only the purple paint on his upper lip. His blue eyes were haggard and drawn, and his limbs shook slightly. Filled with both sorrow and joy, I surged towards him and wrapped him in a comforting embrace. He breathed deeply into my golden robes, threading his fingers into the silken cloth.

"Of all the things I expected, seeing you in the Afterlife was one I had hoped to postpone," I said, chuckling into his hair.

"I'm not dead," he said matter-of-factly. My breath hitched, and he elaborated. "I'm in contact with the Sword of Exorcism," he said. Focusing my attention, I indeed saw him in the past, awaking from his wounds, not fully healed but not in any mortal danger. I saw him take in the aftermath of the battle, scrambling over to the sword that channeled away my essence and the essence of the Kihaku. I saw him scream at the sky and rend his garments, tears tracking down his face. I saw him place his palms face-down on either side of the sword, delving deep into what remained of his power, threading it into the sword and entering into this realm. I looked into the present and saw his physical body still kneeling there, blinding white light pouring from his eyes and the mouth of the dragon.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way," I said gently. "The Kihaku was too powerful for me, and in killing it I had to sacrifice myself. But you'll kill yourself, as well, if you keep this connection to this realm; we have to say goodbye."

Kutsuriuri took his face out of my robes and looked at me, his eyes slightly red. "I can't live without you. My years without you were the worst I've ever lived, and the years I've lived with you have been the best that anyone can ever hope for. And not only do I need you, but the balance of the world needs you. Sending the Kihaku back here only partially righted the balance, and you know it."

I frowned gently at him. He looked me in the eyes and said, "You're in touch with all of reality now, too. When I connected with the sword earlier, it revealed to me the process by which I can partially bring you back to this world. You will be able to keep the balance –"

"No, Kutsuriuri!" I interrupted forcefully, pushing him back so that I grasped him by his thin shoulders. "I can see what you intend to do, and it asks too much of you! You'll be stuck in a semi-immortal state for as long as there are Mononoke to combat! You will not age, and you will not be able to enjoy the comforts of living, such as eating and sleeping! You will have to forsake any possible attachments you could form with other humans! I will not have you sacrifice yourself just so the balance can be restored," I said firmly.

Kutsuriuri treated me to his icy glare. "How do you know what I am willing to give up to be with you?" he snapped. "This isn't just the balance of our own existences that I'm considering; I'm considering the balance of the entire cosmos. I have dedicated my life already to protecting the innocents of this world, and if that means giving up the mortal world for a life with you, a life with balance, then it is a sacrifice I am willing to make," he said stubbornly.

Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes, and I drew Kutsuriuri to my body once again. "How strong you've grown, how selfless you've always been," I whispered in his ear. "Here, we can see the past, present, and future, and looking into the future, I see that you and I will always be together, always a part of each other." Kutsuriuri wrapped his arms around my waist at this. "As always, you speak with wisdom. I give my consent to join with you, if you will in turn formally give your own consent."

"Do you even have to ask?" he mumbled from my robes. We both chuckled at this, his light, breezy laughter with my powerful, reverberating bass.

Stepping back, we stood slightly apart, our palms touching yet our arms spread apart. Closing my eyes, I drew a deep breath, and opening my mouth, I exhaled a small golden ball of light. It floated between our heads, and whispering ancient words of power, Kutsuriuri grasped the ball with his hands.

I jerked as he touched the light, and he was suddenly snatched from my presence. The consciousness of the past, present, and future around me fragmented and shattered, leaving a black isolation behind it as the chunks fell into an abyss I hadn't known I was floating above. I grasped my head in my hands, collapsing onto my knees as a horrible keening laced the air with pain, fear, and emptiness.

Growing slowly, I felt the consciousness from before being built back up around me, though it was subtler and muddled, as though I looked at it through water. I realized that this was how I was to live from now on, with a foot in both worlds, neither here nor there but present enough in both to see just a little.

As the one half was built, the half of myself in the afterlife, so was the other half in the mortal world. I could feel myself being engrained into Kutsuriuri's mind, slowly feeling what he felt, seeing what he saw, and knowing what he knew. I could feel our body arching its back as the initial horror of being invaded by this foreign consciousness took its toll. I could feel our fingers clawing at the grass, and I felt a groan escape our lips.

We both screamed as a light seared our face, carving into our skin. Angry red marks erupted into our pale flesh, for all the world looking like red paint, in the shape of a line down our nose and liner around our eyes with three small spokes extending from each eye.

After the light finished its torturous journey, we felt my connection being sealed with the sword. We would remain in the same body unless the Katachi, Makoto, and Kotowari were discovered, and only then would I be unlocked. We both gave a final cry as our minds were fully melded, and a blast of light erupted from our body, flattening anything that had been left standing after the initial battle.

And with a last breath, the ordeal was over.

We slowly swam back to consciousness, blinking our eyes and rubbing our head as we sat up. Our medicine box sat off to the side, and the Sword of Exorcism was in our hand, looking for all the world as if it were grinning up at us. Exhaling, we stood up, slipping into the straps of the box and straightening our back to our fullest height. Grasping the sword in our left hand, we lifted it horizontally in front of our face, the bells chiming a new beginning. We were ready.

We were the Balance.

I...I'm done. I can't believe it. I feel like I should keep this going, but this story is over. Wow. I can't believe it.

Again, thank you ALL, you wonderful people you, for sticking with me all this time and reading my story with such love and dedication! I hope that you all enjoyed the journey we have taken with the Golden Warrior and with Kutsuriuri; I know I have. Lots of love for all your support, both for me and for this wonderful fandom!