Part Two
Though it was Queen Ryona's dire wish to return to the palace, Sae expressed an interest in visiting the village market.
"They spoke so warmly of it, told me it was the centre of common life, and that I really should take a trip down there before I got shut up in the palace walls again."
"The Queen is ready to leave, though I suppose it wouldn't be trouble for a couple of us to stay back with you and give you a tour." Prince Sevastian frowned. "However, I am needed back at the palace myself to meet with the knights, so I cannot stay."
"If Lady Sae is so set on seeing the village, then I do not mind forfeiting an afternoon of paperwork and accommodating her." Roderick offered. "If Condor stays as well, we should be able to safely escort Lady Sae and her maids."
The Prince conceded. "So then, I shall accompany her highness back to the palace and you men shall stay with the lady and her attendants."
With task four behind her, and the Queen's departure, Sae felt light and free to enjoy her afternoon outside the palace walls. She turned her thoughts to the group she was travelling with. She still remembered the day Condor had told her bitterly that the girl he loved he could not have, and she had suspected it was Phèlie, for they were childhood friends. But Phèlie had a crush on Roderick, or at least according to Alesia…though remembering how excited Phèlie got when she heard that Roderick had kissed Sae, she now doubted that fact as well.
Still, it was interesting to examine them all together as they walked with her. Roderick of course looked completely indifferent to his surroundings, walking down the path; they had left their carriage and horses at the farm since the market was close enough for a pleasant foot journey. Sae's eyes couldn't help but linger on him, the movements of his body as he walked, and she was reminded of his strong arms and the way they had held her against that door…
Shaking her head, she forced herself to look at Condor. He looked suspiciously tense she noted, not speaking to anyone and distancing himself from her lady's maids, as if he didn't want to be reminded of something. All her lady's maids however chatted merrily and didn't seem to notice. Could there really be something going on between him and Phélie?
"And here is the village market Sae," Alesia said, breaking Sae's train of thought.
They stood at the end of the dusty path where it spilled out onto the main cobblestone road. Before them was a bustling place, with pack horses towing carts, small shops with inviting windows, and outdoor stands with cloth roofs. It was a mix of the old and new times.
"Oh, what I would give for some pocket money to spend in that boutique." Phélie gushed, pointing to a ladies' fashion shop.
"Don't be ridiculous, those clothes shall go out of style before you've gotten good use of them." Beda scoffed.
"Besides, it's not as if we could afford them." Alesia added with a sigh.
"Shall we commence with our walk ladies?" Roderick asked, motioning to the road.
"Yes, let us." Condor agreed and they set off.
Sae did not feel right about this arrangement however. It bothered her that her lady's maids could not afford any sort of gowns and the ones Phélie was spying were nothing extravagant; in fact, they were quite common compared to the gowns Sae herself kept. She supposed her custom made outfits would be pricier than a village could offer, but then that was a part of being a noblewoman.
As they travelled down the road, her lady's maids pointing at each shop with added commentary, Condor keeping himself a few paces back and Roderick looking straight ahead, Sae reached into the money pouch she kept discreetly at her side between the folds of her gown, and felt with her hand how many coins she had brought with her. Her father had given her spending money in case she would go to the market for any reason, and it came in handy then. She had enough to buy her lady's maids dresses, nothing expensive, but certainly decent new dresses they could wear when they were not working in their signature faded pastel gowns. However, she doubted the ladies would accept should she offer to take them to the shop. Beda would refuse such an idea and guilt the other two to follow no doubt. Her only choice was to buy the gowns for them first, and then they couldn't possibly refuse.
"Sae? Did you hear what I said?"
She blinked back to reality. Alesia was looking at her curiously, as were her other two maids. Both Condor and Roderick seemed almost resolved to stay out of the conversation, though for different reasons Sae wagered. Whereas Roderick was just naturally a man who kept to himself, she was feeling more and more certain the normally pleasant Condor was on a mission not to interact with them.
"Forgive my inattentiveness Alesia, what have I missed?"
"I simply asked if you'd like to turn left here or keep going straight. To the left I know of some sweet smelling stores, the flower shop and bakery, and straight ahead I know of more places for apparel."
"We've already seen enough clothing through the windows, and I think I would like nothing more than to smell fresh bread." Sae smiled.
"Do you see nothing here to tempt you to buy?" Roderick asked, breaking his silence, as he stood a little ahead of the party.
"It is all pleasant to see, but I must save my money for other things." She answered, as they turned left.
"Quite sensible milady." Beda nodded in approval.
They continued making their way through the market and Sae turned over ideas in her head. How could she purchase dresses for her maids without them knowing? She doubted she would have time to come out here again once she was back at the palace, so this was it.
Letting her pace slow a bit, Sae fell behind her maids and came to match steps with Condor.
"Condor, I need your assistance in something."
"With what Sae?" He asked, clearly surprised at her sudden presence.
"I need to go back to one of those boutiques to purchase a little present for my lady's maids, but I need it to be a surprise." She whispered. "And so, I need a distraction of some sort, so I can slip away for a moment. I'll be right back."
Condor frowned. "I do not think it is a good idea for you to go off on your own, especially in a place you are not familiar with."
"It is such a small market though, nearly impossible to get lost, and it is broad daylight. I think I'll be safe." She assured.
"I still do not think it is a good idea…"
"In any case, I shall do it. Now, follow my lead."
"Perhaps I should go for you. That would probably be the better thing."
"Are you at all familiar with choosing dresses for ladies?"
Condor had the decency to redden a little. "Gracious no."
"Then I think I'll be the one going. Now, as I said, please follow my lead."
Sae moved forward and came to her lady's maids again saying, "I would like to step into one of these shops. That big one over there would do nicely."
Phélie did not look impressed. "Oh Sae, there are better places than that one. It's an overstocked hats and scraps shop."
"Yes, but it does look quite big and I am impressed by its size. I would like to explore and see just how big the store is."
"I've been in that one, it has shelves of fabrics; quite big." Alesia said.
"Then we must see it. Roderick, we'd like to go to that shop there." Sae said, addressing him for the first time.
Glancing to the shop he nodded, "very well, let us all go then."
They walked to the shop in question and all entered. Indeed the high shelves and various fixtures were exactly what Sae needed to make a disappearance. Once inside her lady's maids did just what she had hoped. They scattered throughout the shop not paying her the least attention. Roderick however remained rooted next to the door. She had also anticipated this however. Giving Condor a very meaningful look, she nodded her head once towards the royal advisor. Condor looked over and understood, though she could see by his expression he was still deciding on what to do.
"Do this please," Sae whispered, "and if you do then I will not ask you what's going on with my lady's maids, whom you seem to be quite resolute in ignoring…I haven't forgotten what you've told me about your forbidden love either."
Condor paled visibly at her words. He turned towards Roderick, but not without first muttering something under his breath which Sae thought sounded a lot like 'blackmail'.
"I think there is something over here that might interest you." Condor said, approaching Roderick.
Roderick gave him a curious look, but followed as he was asked. The moment they disappeared behind a fixture bearing fabrics Sae made her escape. Out of sight, out of mind, she prayed.
Condor was wrong. She knew she couldn't possibly get lost; this market was not big enough and she had an exceptional visual memory.
It didn't take her long to get to the first fashion boutique Phélie had admired through the window.
Inside, the attendant was all smiles. A young woman who's father owned the shop. She was simply delighted when Sae told her she was not looking for one, but three light and airy day gowns. Though they offered custom tailoring, Sae had to admit the dresses were for ladies who she could not bring in to be tailored, but thankfully all ladies were reasonably around the same size, neither plump nor dainty, but rather an average bearing which she was sure would fit with the standard size offered.
"One of them may be a little short for her dress," Sae admitted, "but they are all of them expert sewers, and I know they can hem it themselves."
Now it came time to picking out the right dress for each. For Alesia, she picked out a pale lavender summery gown to accent her red locks. Phélie's golden tresses and deep blue eyes seemed best brought out with a sky-blue dress. As for Beda, Sae thought the flecks of green in her turquoise eyes would shine through with an emerald gown. What Sae didn't realize however, as most ladies her age didn't, was how much time could pass whilst shopping.
The polite shop girl wrapped each dress in velvet and placed the dresses carefully in a beige cloth parcel for Sae to carry. Not the best way to handle dresses; however this was a village market Sae reminded herself.
Stepping back out onto the market's main street Sae was sure she hadn't taken so much time that they would notice her absence. And even if they had realized she wasn't in the store, she was sure they'd just be waiting outside scratching their heads and wondering. Only, on approaching the shop she left them at, she felt the dread build within her when she stepped in and realized they were no longer there. She couldn't have taken that long…
In any case, this market was not big; she would simply keep walking and find them, surely. With each step her uncertainty grew. She was beginning to regret the direction she had taken. The shops were sparse here, there was no longer people crowding the road, and it looked like she was reaching the edge of the market with no sign of her party.
"Eh there luv."
She stopped dead in her tracks. To her right in front of what appeared to be the village tavern, there stood a man with patched clothing, scraggily brown hairs sticking out of his chin, and an unsteady posture.
"I'm sorry, were you addressing me?" Sae said at once and regretted it the second after.
The man took this as permission to approach her. He smelled of someone who had consumed his day's worth of brandy, among other liquids.
"Don't get much of yer folk 'ere." He smiled, and she noticed he was missing a tooth, no doubt from a drunken fight.
She wondered how he knew, for she was dressed in her labour clothes, and had nothing on her that could really tell him of her nobility.
"It's the way ye carry yerself." He added, answering her thoughts.
"Yes well, if you will excuse me…sir, but I must be going." She broke eye contact, unable to look at the man any longer, and turned to leave.
The next moment she was startled by the feeling of a hand gripping her arm from behind.
"There's no hurry 'ere luv." He continued to smile.
When she tried to pull away, he reached for the parcel in her hand, ripping it from her grip and tossing it aside. Overcome with his sudden aggression Sae screamed. The man dropped her arms and shielded his ears, his smile dropping.
"Wha'd ye do that fer?" He yelled.
Her eyes were darting everywhere. There was another man not too far off but he looked as though he wanted to stay out of any sort of confrontation, and besides him there was a couple of children, but they were already walking back into the main part of the market, completely ignoring her scream. Sae wouldn't let herself be a victim however. Leaving her parcel where it lay on the ground, she lifted the skirts of her dress and proceeded to run away. Only the drunkard wasn't finished with her yet.
"Eh no ye don't." He said, lunging at her, and knocking her to the ground in the process.
The second time Sae screamed it was a name. "Roderick!"
Her screams did not go unanswered this time. Just as the drunkard took hold of her shoulder, the man found his own arm seized and practically ripped from its socket. He was torn away from Sae's side and thrown across the road, landing with a heavy thud which brought up dust from the ground, and blacking out in the process.
"Sae, are you alright?" Roderick said, turning his attention to her.
He was at her side immediately, helping her up, retrieving her parcel, then giving her a good look over to make sure she was unharmed. Sae said nothing at first, being in a state of shock. Then when Roderick took her arm, gently so not to scare her, and suggested they make their way back, she broke down into a shocking fit of tears. They stopped walking for a moment, Roderick fumbling with his coat pocket to find his handkerchief for her, and Sae found herself turning to him and using his coat as her handkerchief. Roderick thus entered into a slight state of shock himself. He awkwardly put an arm around her as a means of comfort, but really did not know what he was doing.
Her crying subsided to sniffles and Roderick adjusted her against his arm so they could walk and she could still compose herself against him. At a time like this he knew there were a million things he could say; scold her for going off, for pressuring Condor into helping her, making them all worry. But at the moment he felt like being her hero and not a villain, so instead he looked to the skies and commented on the weather in an attempt to calm her.
"The clouds have surrounded the sky and darkened. It looks like rain will soon follow. We had better get back to the main part of the market soon, or we'll be caught in the fall."
Sae merely nodded and matched his pace. They were within eye sight of the others when the sky cracked open and water began to pour down upon the earth.
Being the gentleman in this situation, Roderick took of his coat and held it over her as a shelter from the rain, as they dashed to the others.
o-o-o
Back at the palace Sae was not in the best of spirits. After giving her a nice warm bath and changing out of their wet clothes, her lady's maids continued to be horrified over her ordeal, particularly as it was for their benefit. When they had noticed she was not in the store, Condor had immediately come forward with the truth that Sae had gone out to run a secret mission and should be back momentarily. However, as time passed and panic ensued, it was then decided they should go in search for her. Condor accompanied the maids, and Roderick went off on his own to find her. The rain soon followed but their worry was more than enough to keep them outside searching for her.
By the time Sae and Roderick met with them, she was calm and quiet, and Roderick asked them to give her peace for now; she had just experienced something quite traumatizing. As they found a temporary shelter to wait out the storm, Sae gradually recovered from her fright and admitted embarrassingly to them what had happened. Condor looked very ashen by the news and blamed himself entirely, stating he should have known better than to let her go off on her own. Sae insisted the fault was hers alone, while her maids all bared the guilt of being the reason she went off in the first place.
"Which is why you must all accept my gifts for you. After all the trouble I've gone through for them, you couldn't possibly say no." She half joked.
The truth was Sae was mortified by her own reactions that day. She had never meant to break down and cry; it had been an appalling end to her assault. She really did not know what that man would have done if Roderick had not saved her. Roderick. She dreaded the idea that she had cried in front of him, no on him, using his bosom as refuge for her tears, and showed any weakness that could make him think less of her. Because she wanted, she needed him to think the world of her. Because she loved him.
It was an agonizing revelation, but once fully realized she could deny it no longer. Her stepmother had been right. Once a woman says she will not love it is indeed a curse onto herself that she will…the only problem here was Sae had fallen in love with the wrong man.
o-o-o
"You have now come as far as our most successful contender, Princess Drelinda. Like you, she passed the first four tasks. However, she failed the fifth. Now Lady Sae, it is time for you to endeavour to succeed where she failed. Are you ready to hear what the fifth task is?"
It was uncharacteristically melodramatic of him to ask, but Sae had her answer ready. "I am."
"Good. Now, the purpose of task five is unmistakable by its title. It is known as the 'Children Rearing Test'. In many countries it is the servants' job to—" cough cough cough "—sorry, as I was saying, it is their job to take care of the heirs while the king and queen go about their business, but in Fu Naru the royal family believes in the need for children to be reared by their parents; to be disciplined and be distilled with morals, and understanding of the world. This must come from the parents to make sure they grow up to be righteous heirs and rulers."
Sae nodded with half dread, because the title of task five sounded like it could have double meaning. It was only natural for the kingdom to be concerned about the fertility status of a future queen; still, she did not like the idea of how they would test that out. Instead, she turned her thoughts away from that and hoped Roderick really meant what he was saying.
"So, as always you have five days to prepare for this, and of course a helper to assist you. Though I cannot give too much detail away, I have a feeling most or all of the—" cough cough cough "—sorry, most of the children dwelling in the palace may be involved in this, including the royal brats, Cornelia and Whitmark."
"Are you quite alright?"
"Yes, yes, I just have a little bit of a cold from the rainstorm." He sniffed.
For some reason Sae felt her heart flutter at his words. Perhaps it was because this cold was the result of his chivalry to her, when he covered her with his coat and in the process got his unprotected self wet. It had been a sweet gesture, and he received a cold for his troubles. Sae now felt a little guilty.
"Anyway, as I said, the royal brats will be a part of this as well, so you should prepare yourself for anything."
"What, Con and Wit? Aren't they your siblings?"
Roderick gave a small smile that Sae thought looked affectionate.
"Yes, they are my little brother and sister. I have heard from them that you've played a trick on them or two, and quite gotten their attention."
"Yes well, I have twin brothers back home. I know what children can get up to."
"If you have younger siblings then that will certainly help for the test, Lady Sae. Now, that is all I can tell you, so may I suggest you get set to work on selecting an assistant and best of luck as—cough—always."
By his tone Sae realized their meeting was over, and though he immediately set to work with the papers spread across his desk, she could not bring herself to get up from her seat across from him.
She had spent the past few days in turbulence because of her feelings. After task four and the ordeal that followed Sae had come to a shocking conclusion, that the budding feelings she had tried to ignore growing within her, had sprouted into full bloom love. She was here to win a place beside the future king, to share the thrown and be his queen. However, all she ended up doing was falling in love with the Royal Advisor and his quiet, subdued manner. He gave off the air of a lone man, someone who would converse friendlily with others, but generally was alone, and liked it that way. Some thought him dull, but Sae thought him deep.
The day after task four, she had gone to see him in his study, and to thank him for saving her. He was as embarrassed as she was over the whole matter, and told her quite plainly he was just grateful she was okay, and made her promise not to do something so rash again. She promised, eyes glistening, hoping he would tell her more of how he was worried for her, but instead he confessed he had a lot of work to do, to make up for the time spent in the village, and so asked her if she would please excuse him. Sae left the room discontented.
During the days that followed, she had barely seen him at all. Once in the hallway passing, she had bumped into him, had tried to speak with him, but he was in a hurry and would not even look her in the eye then. It hurt her to be treated like that, but she had a feeling there was more to the whole situation than she knew. In any case, she had given her feelings a lot of thought, as well as the reasons why she was at the palace, her duty to her father's wishes, and her stepmother's plea for her to come home if it wasn't for her. She wanted to make her father proud, but in the end she knew her stepmother was the one who she should listen to. She may have been doing great with the tasks, but she was not in love with Prince Sevastian, and while this didn't bother her before, now that she had fallen in love she knew she couldn't bear being wed to another.
Which is why she had finally made up her mind on what to do.
"Was there something else you needed Lady Sae?" Roderick asked, looking up from his paperwork.
"Why is it you call me Lady Sae?" She asked, capturing his eyes with the bravest gaze she could muster. "You called me Sae the day you saved me from the drunkard."
"I…yes, and I apologize for the familiarity." He left out a deep sigh. "But I was hoping under the circumstances, it being an emergency, we could overlook that."
"Fine." She responded.
"Good." He looked relieved as he added, "now—"
But she cut him off. "How can you explain the night in the prince's bedchambers? You kissed me then, with a passion I knew not existed."
He broke eye contact immediately, looking frustrated by her words. "Did we not agree to never bring that up again? Lady Sae, I apologized for my conduct that night, and I will do so again if it still offends you. I…I know not what possessed me, but you can be assured I will never behave so outlandishly again."
"Is it your job to kiss all the lady contenders, to find out if they are really ladies, or to find out if they are unchaste, or willing to be unfaithful to the Prince?"
"You my lady are ridiculous for even suggesting such an idiotic thing." Roderick said, startling Sae by his dark tone.
"Maybe I am," Sae consented, "but what else would you expect from a woman faced with the uncertainty of love?"
His expression froze like stone. "Uncertainty of…love?"
"What else am I to do, but wonder why a man would embrace me, would kiss me, would save me, then half ignore me in palace halls, treat me as indifferent as he does everyone else, so determined to be alone. If he does not love me, as I've come to love him, then there must be other reasons for the unexplainable things he's done, when I once thought passion overtook him."
"Sae…" He began, dropping his quill and rubbing his face with his hands.
"He must be doing some sort of duty," She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "I've come to wager he must be doing it because it's his job to test the ladies in some way."
"Sae," He repeated, a little more loudly.
"I mean why else would he have lost control like that and kissed me? And when he saved me he comforted me, held me in a way I could never imagine him doing, so soft and gentle, like he cared very much for me." She was speaking more to herself than him at this point.
"Lady Sae," He said a third time, more urgent to interrupt her than ever. "Listen to me please. I have never laid one finger on any of the contenders before you; you can be assured it is not my job to test them out, as you so delicately put it."
"Then why Roderick, why did you do to me what you did?" She almost pleaded.
"I…cannot answer." He said, barely audible.
"I've made up my mind on this anyway." Sae said, feeling the resolve build up inside of her. "I will not be completing the tasks. I could never do that to Prince Sevastian. You were right, I can't love him, especially now that I've come to…I love you Roderick. I would give up my contender position, just so I could be with you, if you would exchange your heart for mine."
Roderick opened his mouth to say something, but he paused, speechless for the first time Sae had ever seen. She took the moment for her advantage. Getting up from her seat, she crossed the distance between them and took hold of his face, lowering herself for he was still sitting, and placing a gentle nudge of a kiss against his lips.
He seemed to accept the kiss at first, absorbing the warmth of her lips, but just as she began to press more firmly, he pulled his face away, looking every bit the deer caught by a hunter's looming arrow.
"You forget yourself," he said, his breath shallow though they had hardly kissed.
"Just as you had forgotten yourself that night not long ago?" She countered.
"Then we are now even, aren't we?" He sighed, looking away, unable to meet her eyes.
"So you have no feelings for me Royal Advisor?" She asked, pain etched behind every word.
Roderick stood up from his seat, walking over to his bookcase, then to the window, glancing out onto the strawberry fields, the sweet fruit which he detested. "It isn't as simple as that. You have to marry the Prince, Sae. You must promise me that you will try and win."
"I do not care anymore about marrying the Prince; you are the one who told me I should think about what I was doing. That I didn't even love him."
"It isn't just about love Sae. I didn't want you to seduce him, to trick him, but winning this contest and marrying him is another thing altogether. He could provide greatly for you; you would be a Queen, have a good life here."
It all sounded a bit too much like what her father had said to her before she left home. At one time she would have agreed whole heartedly with it, however, times had changed. "Maybe, but you could provide for me too Roderick."
"You forget Lady Sae, as the Royal Advisor I am still servant to King Basil. Before you are so ready to jeopardize your position here you must think of my position as well."
"Oh, I see then." Sae said, and dread spread over her with a faint realization.
These were excuses. The real reason was plain to her now. He didn't care for her after all.
"Well, I should be going. You can be assured I will get start on the next task. I thank you for all your help and advice, Royal Advisor."
"Sae…" He began, looking at her from his post at the window, his voice a lot softer than it had been moments before.
"It's Lady Sae, as you've pointed out yourself before." She said briskly, turning and walking out the room without another word.
Walking back to her apartments Sae felt depression wash over her. She had been wrong in supposing he could love her. Maybe he wasn't even attracted to her. Perhaps the night he kissed her he had too much wine during the ball beforehand, and was not completely himself. In any case, she had offered herself to him and he flatly refused. She would be humiliated if she wasn't so heartbroken.
The sound of voices ahead broke her isolation. Turning the corner she came into sight of a strange meeting. Her youngest maid Phélie was conversing with Prince Fabian. It was very odd indeed to see a servant and royalty standing together, talking in secret, but so they were, looking as if they were school chums. Sae supposed that they were around the same age, so it was possible they could have all played together as children, as many a time servant children and royal ones mix in the palace. But as young adults she knew it was rare they kept such ties. Besides, every time she saw the younger Prince, he usually looked more interested in going for a horse ride, or just gallivanting outdoors in general, so she barely saw him conversing with others.
Fabian said something which caused Phélie to laugh. Her laugh was sweet as honey, and Sae was reminded of Condor and his secret forbidden love. Perhaps this was why Condor was so bitter, because it looked as though Phélie flirted with everyone. Though she doubted Condor had much to worry over if it was Prince Fabian he was jealous of. If anyone would be forbidden to court Phélie, it would be the young prince, not the stable boy. Seeing them talking however, Sae felt more sympathy for Condor, thinking it was truly a sad thing, that neither of them could have what they wanted. It was now Sae's turn to have a forbidden love.
She didn't wish to spy on her maid any longer. Turning back round the corner, she opted for another root back to her quarters. When she got to her rooms, she found Mayah changing her curtains.
"I thought these could use with some fresh air and a good beating to get out any dust."
"Yes, thank you Mayah." She smiled sadly, putting on her brave face.
But Mayah was too quick for it. "Is anything wrong Sae darling?"
"It is nothing. I suppose I am just homesick, and worried about the fifth task."
"Well, it just so happens you've received new letters from your family. I left them on the desk in your private study. Why don't you spend the afternoon reading them and answering back. I'm sure that will make you feel better."
"Yes, perhaps that is a good idea," Sae said, making her way to the door which led to her study.
Mayah really knew how to comfort her, like a mother calming her upset child. Even her voiced soothed Sae. Sae paused at the door.
Turning back to Mayah she said, "You know, I haven't picked my assistant for the next task yet. I need someone who can school me in the art of handling children."
"Yes, the 'Children Rearing Test', a very challenging one." Mayah nodded, folding up the curtains in her arms.
"I can't think of a better person to help me than you, Mayah."
Mayah continued about her work, but Sae could see a slight smile forming on her face. "You don't say? Well Sae, if you designate me as such, I would be more than happy to help you with this."
"Wonderful."