Chapter Eleven

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Evening

Nicole finally slid her way out from under the covers on the bed and sat up on the edge facing defeat. She'd been unsuccessfully trying to nap for nearly the last hour but it was no use. She couldn't possibly get even just a few good minutes of much needed shut eye when she knew something was terribly wrong.

It started all over again on the ride home from the convention. She was sure their brief bonding session over the trainwreck known as Sami had lifted EJ from whatever funk he'd been in for the entire day but by the time they got home he'd hardly spoken a word to her and she had been too tired to pick a fight. She'd hoped he would join her as EJ never before passed up an opportunity to spend whatever downtime he had at her side pampering her and engaging in long discussions about their impending parenthood. Tonight he'd opted to sit in the living room and develop a sudden interest in watching television; all from a man who'd stated he'd considered not even purchasing one when he'd had their new home furnished as it was nothing but "rubbish."

She wasn't ignorant enough to not at least have a good idea of what all this was about. He'd likely been stewing over whatever minute details he knew about her date and had come up with some completely ridiculous theory based on just a few known facts. It didn't bother her for him to be suspicious; she'd rather have that than spoil the surprise...at least she originally thought. That was until it ocurred to her that she might not enjoy finding out just what her husband thought she was capable of.

She crept out of their bedroom and quietly slid down the hall then descended the stairs; her ears straining for signs of life from the lower level of their home. It was strangely quiet, even from the staff's quarters. She supposed EJ must have dismissed them for the evening which, from what she remember while living at the DiMera mansion, could be either really good or really bad. There had been many a night where he'd given them an evening off, just so they could have the place all to themselves so whoever could do whatever to whoever, wherever they so desired. However, she'd come to learn quickly that it could also mean he didn't want the staff around to see what a raging lunatic he could be when he was angry.

She was alerted next not by what she heard but by what she saw. The soft glow of the fireplace in the living room danced fickering silhouettes all across the parlor walls. The soft crackling of the burning wood could then be heard when she was within just a few feet of the passageway between the two rooms. Straight ahead, she could see the back of her husband, sitting on the couch with his arm swung across the back, rattling the leftover ice in a rocks glass in his hand.

"Hello, darling. Did you have a nice nap?"

Nicole jumped what she imagined was nearly two feet off the ground when he spoke. She thought she'd been quieter than a mouse but apparently he'd heard her. The tone in his voice wanted to send her running right back up the stairs and back under the covers. She could hear the anger buried just beneath his vain attempt at being polite. The slight slur of his speech told her the empty drink in his hand wasn't the first one he'd had.

"I-a...I couldn't sleep," she finally said, cautiously making her way into the room. Ordinarily she loved the ambiance of a room lit only by firelight but tonight it appeared threatening, foreboding. She wished she'd thought to flick on the overhead lights before she'd gone too far to turn back. She was now standing in front of him.

"Why is that, sweetheart? Is there something weighing heavily on your mind?"

"You could say that," Nicole said with a hint of disappointment in her voice. "I guess I'm kinda wondering why all of a sudden my husband is being such a dick to me."

"Hmmmm," EJ said as he poured the remaining contents of the bottle of scotch sitting before him into his glass. A bottle that had been unopened before they left home earlier today. "Maybe it's because he feels like this secret his wife has been keeping from him isn't as innocent as she's made it out to be."

"Really? What happened to putting your faith in me? I thought yesterday you agreed-"

"That was before I found out the man you were having dinner with was Nathaniel Warren."

Nicole cringed as his voice shook the walls surrounding them. "What," she demanded fiercely, attempting to reclaim the title of being the one with most anger in their voice. "You don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. I did not have dinner with Nate Warren. I haven't seen the man since before I left Chicago, and a month or so before then even. Do me a favor, before you start screaming accusations at me, get your fucking facts straight."

EJ arose from his seat, his eyes boring holes into her as he approached her like a lion moving in on it's prey. "Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying," she screamed, back pedalling through the room anxious to put some distance between herself and the only version of EJ she hoped she would never see again. "Why don't you try asking what it is you want to know."

He grabbed her by the wrist roughly, forbidding her to put any further distance between them by yanking her toward him. She didn't like it when he grabbed her like that, and especially not now being pregnant, but she knew it wouldn't go any further. Even when completely inebriated there were lines he never crossed.

"Sweetheart, I tried asking nicely yesterday, didn't I," he asked through gritted teeth, desperately struggling with keeping his anger in check.

"Yes, and then you were fine with what I asked of you so what changed?"

"What changed was finding out who it was you were having dinner with!"

"I see," Nicole said swallowing back the lumps forming in her throat. "So tell me, why does the idea of me having dinner with Nate bother you so much? What is it you think you've got all figured out?"

EJ's intense glare began to soften as he peered down into her watery eyes. There was something so assuring in her gaze. There was no trace of doubt or defensiveness. There were only two things he saw; truth and disappointment...in him. His eyes caught a glimpse of his hand knotted tightly around her wrist. He let go in an instant when he realized how crudely he'd put his hands on her. His hand shook as he drew it away in horror. Whatever he had been thinking, there was no way the woman standing before him now was capable of doing it. No way. He was ashamed to have even thought it. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Oh god, I'm so sorry."

He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her head tightly against his chest with one arm while the other found it's way to her stomach. He embraced her for a moment, then dropped to his knees, grabbing her stomach with both hands now as he pressed his cheek into it. "I'm so sorry," he whispered before planting a kiss upon it as well to sweeten the apology.

For Nicole, it was too little, too late. She stood there motionless, emotionless as he download apology after apology upon her and the babies but the damage had already been done. As soon as she heard the name Nate Warren brought up, she knew what he'd allowed himself to think, even if it was only for a short time.

"You didn't answer my question, honey," she said dryly, mimicking the accusatory tone he'd used on her. "What is it you thought happened on this alleged dinner date with Nate?"

"Sweetheart, I was wrong, I'm sorry," EJ said as he got to his feet, anxious to be in close eye contact with her as he spoke. "Look, I didn't know what to think of what I heard and I let my imagination get the best of me."

She almost felt sorry for him. She could tell he was completely sincere in his apology but that didn't matter to her now, and maybe it wouldn't matter ever. If her assumption was right about his suspicion she wasn't sure she would ever recover from the heartache it caused her. It was a pain that cut so deep it made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Tell me what it is you thought."

EJ couldn't speak. He couldn't say the words. It wasn't his own pride he was concerned with; he'd already resided to the fact that he was the worlds biggest jerk. He simply couldn't repeat the things he'd allowed himself to believe about her.

"Well, I can see this is going nowehere," Nicole said frustratedly as she grabbed EJ's hands and detached them from her stomach. "And by that I don't just mean this conversation."

"Nikki, wait, please," he said, grabbing her by the wrist as she turned away from him, this time with the gentlest possible grasp. "What do you mean?"

"You were really worried, weren't you? About Nate."

It was EJ now who was too busy swallowing back the lumps in his throat to respond.

"You wondered, 'what reason could she possibly have for wanting to meet with him?' It's really fucking sad that the only thing you could come up with is that he's the father of the babies."

"Nic-"

She wouldn't let him speak. "As soon as you said his name, it all began making sense. All day long today you were doing the math, weren't you? What if the doctor was off by a month? How do I know for sure that these babies are really mine? Am I right so far?"

"Swee-"

Nicole began to laugh maniacally before moving on to her next line. "Which leads to yet another ridiculous assumption of yours that I just had to have slept with the guy on the first, and only, date we were on which believe me, any chances of that even happening at all were squashed when my creepy stalker of a husband showed up out of nowhere and threatened the poor guy!"

"Dar-"

"So, in a nutshell, I'm still just a lying, cheating, whore to you. Right?"

"No," EJ murmered in little more than a whisper as he shook his head helplessly.

"But, for a moment, heck, for most of the day, I was. That was exactly what you were thinking about me. Go ahead, please tell me if I'm wrong."

Nicole allowed herself a moment of hopefulness as she allowed him the opportunity to protest. When he didn't, she turned her back to him and began to walk away.

He didn't follow her, not immediately. He needed time to regroup; time to think of the right thing to say to make it up to her. Why now, of all time, were words escaping him? Maybe words weren't what was needed right now. Maybe he just needed to run upstairs and take her into his arms and hold her, kiss her. It seemed to work before. He decided that was exactly what he was going to do however, by the time he'd made his decision, he only got as far as the foot of the stairwell. He suddenly found himself unable to breathe as he watched Nicole descending the stairs with a suitcase in her hand.

"Nicole? What are you doing?" Finally, there it was, a voice, allbeit a shaky one.

"What does it look like I'm doing, EJ," Nicole replied with a bothered tone.

"No. No, you're not leaving! You can't leave!"

"Why can't I leave, because I'm pregnant? With kids you aren't even sure are yours?" She was trying her damnedest to stay strong but she could feel the stinging of the warm tears beginning to flood her eyes. She had to get out, and quick. She didn't want him to see her cry.

He tried to grab her as she pushed her way past him but he was afraid to physically apply too much of his strength and he had no choice but to allow her to break free of his grasp.

She surprised him by sharing a bit of departing information before she climbed into the car which she'd instructed Dave to pull around for her. "I'll save you the trouble of having me followed. I'll be at the Salem Inn but don't bother showing up. If you do, I'll have you and your little spies arrested and then by the time you get out, I'll be so far gone you won't even know where to begin to look."