Songs of Wincest Chapter 3: Suitcase, a supernatural fanfic

DISCLAIMER: SUPERNATURAL AND IT'S GORGEOUS CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME. OF COURSE IT DOESN'T STOP ME FROM DREAMING. IT ALL BELONGS TO ERIC KRIPKE AND COMPANY. LUCKY BUGGERS. Don't own the song either. *Sad face*

Songs of Wincest – Part 3

Suitcase

- Emili Sande

Didn't see it coming, no kind of warning,
I can't work out what I've done wrong
His clothes are missing, but his key's still here,
Please somebody please tell me what's going on

My baby's got a suitcase, he's telling me it's too late
But don't nobody, please don't ask me why
Cause all I did was love him, but I can't stop him walking
My baby's got a suitcase, but please don't ask me why

What changed so quickly? Answer me.
If you must kill me at least please tell me why
He says don't touch me, get out the way
Will someone tell me what's going on tonight?

I can't stop my heart leaving through the door
I can't unpack my heart cause he won't look at me anymore

"Dean, I've gotta go. You know, if I don't, Dad and I are gonna end up killing each other."

I shook my head, blinking to stop the tears that were fighting to come out. My little brother, my baby boy, just told me he was leaving, leaving to go to school, leaving the hunt, the family business, Dad…leaving me. I wasn't sure I could survive this. Sammy was leaving and I couldn't stop him. Don't get me wrong, I was proud of him. Full ride to Stanford. But all I could think of was who was gonna watch his back, who was gonna stop the nightmares from coming, who was gonna make sure he slept and ate properly?

"Look, Dean. I know you think it's your job to protect me and look after me, but you gotta let me go. You gotta let me learn to look after myself. You gotta let me figure things out for myself. You could always come with me, Dean. We could find a small place near campus, you could still hunt with Dad if you wanted."

I just looked at him, not quite believing what he was saying. I could do that for Sammy. Oh how I wanted to do that. But I knew Dad would never go for it. He still didn't even know about us. How his sons were in love with each other.

I shook my head again, resigned to the fact that I had to let him go. I could see what this life was doing to that beautiful personality of his. It was destroying him.

"I can't Sammy. You're right. You gotta go. I gotta let you go. Cause if Dad doesn't end up killing you one of these days, then the life will. I can't let that happen. So, I'll take you to the bus, but I can't go with you, Sammy." I could practically hear his heart breaking at that. Just as much as he could probably hear mine.

I grabbed both of our duffels and threw them in the trunk of the Impala, motioning to Sammy it was time to go. We drove in silence until we got to the bus stop, the only sound going through the car was AC/DC which was turned down low.

After I pulled over, I turned to Sammy, who had tears streaming down his face.

"Just explain one thing. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't know how." He replied softly. "And I didn't want you to hate me."

I sighed, knowing I probably didn't help matters by not backing Sammy up against dad when he told him he was leaving. I gently moved my hands to cup his beautiful face, and caressed my thumbs over his cheeks, wiping away the tears. I knew that what I was about to say was going to be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but I had no choice. So I tried to lessen the blow a bit by kissing those sweet, soft lips one last time.

"I could never hate you, baby boy. Never. I love you. Always will. But…you know…if you go… this, us, it can't go on. You can't stay, but I can't leave dad." By this point, neither of us could stop the tears from falling. Sammy nuzzled into my neck for a few moments, clinging to my shirt, needing the comfort. I let him. We both needed it.

"I know, De." He whispered so low that I just caught it. "I'm so sorry."

With that, he gave me one last peck on the lips, then my sweet baby boy got out of the car, taking all of his possessions with him. Including my heart.