She stood him up.
It was simple, basic, and Neville could wrap his head around as to why he was rejected by her, it was transparent fact that she didn't hold any interest toward him, and as much as he wanted to be offended; to be saddening by her lack of attention donning himself – he wasn't.
He lethargically flipped a page in his volume of books, only to find the page, yet fucking again ripped out of his page. Shutting the book with a sigh, the warm evening sun grazed his face, and he attempted to shield himself from the rays only to be shrouding his face with his elbows, oh, there's the shit feeling.
Neville wanted to laugh, oh so fucking hard at his obliviousness. He really fucking liked this girl, so fucking much. She couldn't spare enough time with him to study, to god damn do what she does best. Neville chortled back a mixture between a sob and a laugh, he wanted to cry. He wanted to sob the pain away like the old, previous Neville was. Scratch that – he was always the same Neville. Despite the physical changed he will always be the dorky, awkward son of a bitch that doesn't get the girl. How can he be blinded by that? He was a loser.
He came to this realization to rapidly, and the emotions that arose struck his heart desperately.
"Yo, Longbottom" came a voice from across his table, it was Harry. Choking back forcefully his rejection that was almost displayed for the whole library to watch, Neville revealed himself to his friend and pushed a smile onto his lips, "I'll never know the ending to my porn" he chuckled as he tilted the book so Harry could take a glimpse, "hm, I heard a rumour that Winnie likes to roll up her weed with the last pages of the book she reads" Neville couldn't help but slightly grin at this, "then again, you're her boyfriend. You should know this" Harry leaned back into his chair while folding up his arms, "Never really knew you were into the presumptuous and attractive kind" Harry teased while grinning smugly over the table. Neville dryly chuckled and toyed with page 138 of the book, "Winifred wouldn't read a porno, damned woman is a prude" he lied, Harry leaned forward to grasp the book and flip the pages of it, legit. It was a porno.
"Other than the fact that you're casually reading this in the library, back on topic. How's Winifred?" in all honesty, Neville hasn't talked to her all day. "I'm guessing she's fine" Neville wanted to laugh at the irony, Winifred was anything but fine. She was mentally unstable and he knew of this, he was probably the only one that noticed when she lied, when she could cover up her feelings with a well-practiced smile that could fool just about anyone, the way how she'd play with the hem of her skirt whenever she'd feel depressed. Winifred Jessamine was an anomaly.
"You do know you have the hottest chick in Hogwarts yet you're talking as if she's potions homework" Harry stated, his gaze hardening on the Gryffindor, Neville began fiddling with the quill that was used as a bookmark and shrugged his shoulders, "Winifred is harder than potions homework" Neville sleeked a grin on his lips and avoided Harry's questioning glare, "how'd it go about happening?" Harry's ears perked, waiting for an answer as Neville took this chance, "you see, I accidentally bumped into her at the stairs, and apparently, we both captured each other's attention" Harry pressed his lips together as he registered this information, "I heard of you spraining her ankle, you're quite the charmer aye?" Harry chuckled, he leaned over the small table and shook Neville's shoulder, "hopefully your next porno isn't cut off" and with that, he left.
Though the seat was quickly replaced with the bombshell that was previously talked about, she was evidently in a rushed manner, as her hair was quirky yet flawlessness perfection, and Neville is brought back to the time he did shove her down the steps of the Grand Staircase, and he muffles a laugh. Winifred huffs back a gulp of air while holding an endearing pout on her lips, "This late in the library? Who knew you had such a passion?" she playfully teased, to which Neville lifted the book he was reading, "did you smoke up my last page, Winifred?" he asked monotonically, she grinned and motioned her fingers to her lips as if she was smoking a joint, "everyday" she replied while lifting herself from the seat, "I came here to tell you, Fred's able to visit me this weekend" her smile was bright; livid, and Neville was convinced that if her lips were turned more upwards, she'd break a muscle, though, wholeheartedly he could admit that it was the most cutest moment of the day. He wanted to pinch her cheeks, which he did. "Ow, Neville the fuck?!" "Ten points from Ravenclaw, Jessamine!"
Winifred blushed as she ducked herself lower into her seat as she held her blushing face from the audience around them and calmed herself, after a moment, she removed the book from her face and the atmosphere quickly converted from the cheerful Ravenclaw to that of the bitter Winifred that was portrayed yesterday, "anyways I need you to come with me on Saturday night down to the boathouse at eleven" she murmured, her smile now leaning towards a composed lady as she leaned forwards, her glimmering eyes obviously telling her personality emotion at the moment was telling him otherwise, Neville gently pretended to punch Winifred in the face, "yeah I'll be there, bet your left ear on it" Winifred's face immediately fell, "that's the most queerest expression I've ever heard, but okay, see you there" she then lifted herself from the seat and escaped through the doors.
Sighing at this, he Neville was aggressively gratified with the friends he had at Hogwarts, and the thought of Hannah was banished from his thoughts.
Tucking the porno back under his arm, he went to the random table he found it at and placed it onto the wood, then retreated from the library into the almost vacant hall, only to find a rushed Abbott sprinting down the hall, though she abruptly stopped her movements at the sight of him as she noted the livid expression on his face, Neville, for the life of him couldn't deal with Hannah right at this moment, when he held such high expectations for her that were never met, he turned down a different hall as she chased after him, "N-Neville, I'm sorry, Blaise. Blaise was-" Neville turned around to face Abbott, "Hannah you had your chance, I don't think we should do this again" he then turned his back once more, "N-Neville I need your help, I can't pass without your help" and that's when Neville almost lost it. That's all this was, she needed his help for her studies, how could he be so fucking stupid? Gulping down the recent piece of shit feelings that were threatening to arise, he kept his steady pace down the hall, ignoring the abbotts protests that eventually died down. He felt the need to vomit.
Then the realization that Winifred wasn't his arose, that she was Fred Weasley's, and that's when he reached for the nearest garbage which was thankfully a couple steps away and spilled out his feelings, because that's what he was good for – not having any what so ever.